I'm picky, like probably a little bit unrealistically so. I figure I have the man of my dreams who is hung, smart, fun, charismatic and attractive. I shouldn't settle for less then total attraction. This should be true for all.
I realize I'm a old hand at this, been in and out (ha) of the lifestyle since 2011, and I've basically done all the things, but if you're with your perfect partner then my understanding is swinging is an enhancement to your sex life. Never settle for less (old swinger advice for the newer swingers) just to have a new partner/experience/taking one for the team.
What are your thoughts?
I realize I'm a old hand at this, been in and out (ha) of the lifestyle since 2011, and I've basically done all the things, but if you're with your perfect partner then my understanding is swinging is an enhancement to your sex life. Never settle for less (old swinger advice for the newer swingers) just to have a new partner/experience/taking one for the team.
What are your thoughts?
ALLWENEEDISU wrote:
I'm picky, like probably a little bit unrealistically so. I figure I have the man of my dreams who is hung, smart, fun, charismatic and attractive. I shouldn't settle for less then total attraction. This should be true for all.
I realize I'm a old hand at this, been in and out (ha) of the lifestyle since 2011, and I've basically done all the things, but if you're with your perfect partner then my understanding is swinging is an enhancement to your sex life. Never settle for less (old swinger advice for the newer swingers) just to have a new partner/experience/taking one for the team.
What are your thoughts?
I think it depends on what you're looking to get out of swinging and what you value in a sexual experience. While I agree with some of your points I also know from experience that different partners/playmates can bring many different things to the table. I've been with women who were absolutely amazing kissers. I've met play partners who knew little sex "tricks" that had never occured to me or to my primary partner that we've been able to incorporate in our own play. I've been fortunate to have sex with women who brought an amazing level of enthusiasm and energy to our encounters. And, lastly, and perhaps even more important, I've met and played with women who I wasn't necessarily immediately attracted to but who I became VERY attracted to once I got to know them a little better and the sex was mind-blowing.
I've ultimately learned not to judge a book by it's cover. That physical attraction isn't necessarily the ENTIRE package. And that what makes a person a great sex partner sometimes transcends the purely physical. YMMV Ultimately you are likely get out of swinging more or less what you expect to get out of swinging. If you are less than thrilled at how other men compare to the physical criteria you've listed about your significant other then you probably won't really enjoy swinging all that much. Just my two cents after being in swinging even longer than you.
EVILDOERS wrote:
I've ultimately learned not to judge a book by it's cover. That physical attraction isn't necessarily the ENTIRE package. And that what makes a person a great sex partner sometimes transcends the purely physical. YMMV Ultimately you are likely get out of swinging more or less what you expect to get out of swinging. If you are less than thrilled at how other men compare to the physical criteria you've listed about your significant other then you probably won't really enjoy swinging all that much. Just my two cents after being in swinging even longer than you.
I didn't list just physical attributes, actually a person's looks have little to do with my attraction. I am attracted to smart charming a-holes who make me laugh more than I am a guy with a 6 pack big d and nothing in common...
In my last relationship I took one for the team on a few occasions and when I got back into the LS I promised to never do it again. So I guess I kinda wanna know what people think about going along for the ride just to take the ride mentality
Evil, you are correct in our opinion. From our experience, what most lifestyle folks get out of the experience is novelty. If you really want pretty much what you have, then eat at home. There are some really amazing adventures to be had, for those willing to try new things. And if all you get out of it is a deeper appreciation for what you have, so much the better! We have had many great adventures with those we thought were outside our interest, and a few misadventures (an adventure none the less), and good times with those we were seeking. You never know what you may learn (new tricks, new erogenous zones you didn’t know you had) from someone different. At the end of the day, it is your adventure, your journey. What you get out of it is up to you.
My bad. In my pre-coffee state, my 'uncaffeinated' brain focused on hung and attractive. 
Great opinions on this topic. While we have never taken one for the team we do realize most encounters are not equal. That can mean many things, usually for us it maybe she has a wonderful time and my experience is just ok. However we both must always agree on getting naked with others. For us the variety of partners is part of the fun and the friends with benefits is like icing on the cake.