Just out of curiosity, do you read profiles before sending friend requests? We get requests from people in different states and a bunch of single males. It’s obvious a bunch of people don’t but just curious - how many people take the time? Seems like not making any effort is pretty common.
We generally don’t send requests unless we have met the couple and have something in common. But we get numerous blind requests that are obviously just sent to fish for photos.
We always read the profiles and the details.
We always read the full profile. You can tell a lot by what is written (or not).
I always read the profile to see if we are looking for the same things. No point in trying to meet couples who are not looking for the same things.
Always read the profile and pay attention. If we don’t see similarities and are truly interested. And we always send a message asking interest level. If it’s there , we do the friend request on a mutual basis.
We, especially the Mrs, thoroughly goes through the profiles, this can make or break whether or not a request is accepted or sent.
We read profiles but there are alot of blind request from out of state. After deleting them they will send it again a short time later
A profile that is well articulated with details is very important to us. So, we read profiles through its entirety, even before looking at photos.
ALWAYS! And we'll also try to mention at LEAST one thing from the profile to let them know that we indeed DID read it even if it's something that might preclude us as a good match for them. We've been on this site since Swingular was born (hatched?) and those who actually read profiles before sending friend requests are definitely in the minority. Personally, we think it would be a cool feature to have a setting where people couldn't send you a friend request unless they first sent you an email. And we're gonna hold our breath until ADMIN adds this feature!
We always read the profiles .. completely. And yes we even send blind friend requests .. so what ! So many people here are way too uptight about getting blind friend requests. If you get one from us it’s obviously because we want to see more of your photos, either because we think your public ones are hot, or because you didn’t post squat lol. We get blind friend requests a lot ... and if we like the profile and photos we except the request. No big deal, we don’t need to know you intimately to share our private photos. That’s just us.
Yes we do read profiles even on friends request but rarely ever send them if it reads your a none smoker we pass you by
Joe Typical’s response:
If I wanted to read, I’d buy a book! I want sex! Can I bang your wife? Are you a Unicorn?
Ugh!
If I wanted to read, I’d buy a book! I want sex! Can I bang your wife? Are you a Unicorn?
Ugh!
I try to always read the bio to make sure we're actually interested in the same thing. Often you'll see a couple with a single male interest set to "yes" but they'd prefer to contact you or something so I don't want to be rude. And I try to include some detail or make some connection with them from what was in their profile when I message, so they know I wasn't just smashing that friend request out total horniness - just partial horniness.
We always read the profiles - in the beginning we approved all friend requests. We’ve learned about the picture shoppers so we hardly ever approve blind requests now. Seems pointless to even attempt a friendship unless you have something in common from your profile and you are attracted ... but that’s just us. Great forum topic - thanks for starting it.
We always read profiles to make sure our interests line up enough to start a chat. We have in ours that blind friend requests won't be accepted, but we still get them anyway.
It would be nice if you could block friendship requests from single males.
We would have to less than 30% of people read the words on a profile. I guess what people have to say on a profile is not important to them.
We have found that there are more people who are worried about pictures, which dont get us wrong is also important but doesn't make the person. Nothing like sitting in a hot tub with nothing to chat about and someone just looking at you the whole time.
As for blocking the single guys we just leave the friend request pending so they can't keep sending them.
We have found that there are more people who are worried about pictures, which dont get us wrong is also important but doesn't make the person. Nothing like sitting in a hot tub with nothing to chat about and someone just looking at you the whole time.
As for blocking the single guys we just leave the friend request pending so they can't keep sending them.
Seems like most don't read profiles.
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
If you don't accept or reject their request they will stay in limbo, and cannot send you a new request. We don't do that ourselves, but we know couples that do.
There is also a way to block single males in your settings
We always read profile before sending messages.
We always do and think there are some great writers and people with a great sense of humor! 😘
All the time, I've even not sent out a friend because I didn't feel that we match what the couple is looking for.
It seems crazy not too. Simple attraction can go to shit quick if someone involved does something not welcome because 20 seconds couldn’t be spent to read about what the other party was looking for.
As a single male, I understand that a lot of people on this site would rather not deal with me. I read the profile so that I don't waste anybodies time. No sense in barking up a tree that doesn't exist.
Personally, I read the interest portion of a profile after the pics. The things people type are usually their best qualities so you only know what they want you to know. I like to chat and get a real idea of who they are and what they are about.
As far as blind friend requests, sure. Ill fire them off to show interest. I'm not gonna pester anyone or type out a cover letter just to be ignored. Physical attraction is usually the first step so if both parties are interested then see where it goes.
As far as blind friend requests, sure. Ill fire them off to show interest. I'm not gonna pester anyone or type out a cover letter just to be ignored. Physical attraction is usually the first step so if both parties are interested then see where it goes.
THENAUDYPIRATE wrote:
As a single male, I want to make sure I'm even welcome because I know so many couples don't want single males, so Yes, I always read the profiles! It's just a matter of respect.
I'm amazed at how many couples don't read them. I get tons of blind friend requests, even though my own profile says "No Blind Friend Requests", and I'd be willing to bet they all come from the male half who is horny and looking for pics. Just be respectful for crying out loud. It's not that difficult!
Well said pirate. Totally agree
Candyrocks69 wrote:
Just out of curiosity, do you read profiles before sending friend requests? We get requests from people in different states and a bunch of single males. It’s obvious a bunch of people don’t but just curious - how many people take the time? Seems like not making any effort is pretty common.
I assume when you say "profiles" that you are referring mostly to the "about us" and "what we are looking for" sections. Regardless, our answer is yes. Since we don't send friend requests, it is how we determine whether or not to contact members... or put them in our "favorites" list as a possible contact.
Since we're in the boonies, more or less, and 3-4 or more hours away from most on this forum, it is not practical for us to "meet-up" with people for a drink at the drop of a hat simply because they appear attractive in their pics... assuming they even have enough pics to generate even a vague idea of what they look like. Most don't, unfortunately. Worse yet, more often than not, people write so little in the "about us" and "what we are looking for" sections that it tells us virtually nothing about them... other than them saying something like "were here looking for fun". If that's as descriptive as people are going to be, we skip right past. C'mon, people! We want to learn some things about you. You don't have to be a Hemingway or Shakespeare to say more than you're horny.
We wish people would view their profiles the same as they would a job resume and cover letter. A good one will at least get your foot in the door.
Too funny, the last post on this forum topic before this month was exactly a year ago ... how do these old posts reincarnate themselves and come back from the dead ? lol
We read profiles to find people who have common interest both in and out of the bedroom. We have taken the time to write a profile to reflect what and who we are looking for.
Of course we read them! We are interested in things other than sex! Like, can they speak and spell? What type of activities and interests do they have? How far away, like to travel? Swingular has a couple of neat features like messaging people if interested and friendship requests! Also a really neat feature: "BLOCK member" and ignore member. So, if you don't like the rude or ignorant members use those fun features!
We definitely read profiles through the entirety. We need to make sure that we have common interests other than sex. Granted, our profile is a little longer than most. But, we try to give a more complete picture of who we are and what we want. We can tell who has read our profile after we get messages or friend requests. We appreciate those who take the time to write a well written and specific profile. It lets us know if we might be a possible match.
Our profile is super long but now that its brought up i think its time to revisit.
Whiskey_Girl wrote:
There is also a way to block single males in your settings
It doesnt really seem to work. We blocked single male requests years ago and yet we still get them all the time.
As for reading profiles, we absolutely do. That being said, a lot of profiles dont give much detail. We're not looking for a detailed explanation of your life's history but we do expect more than one or two sentences preferably with more thought than "looking for fun unicorns and couples to see what's out there."
NEWUTAHCOUPLE wrote:
That being said, a lot of profiles dont give much detail. We're not looking for a detailed explanation of your life's history but we do expect more than one or two sentences preferably with more thought than "looking for fun unicorns and couples to see what's out there."
Agreed. We read through profiles because we are searching for likeminded couples. A little more information goes a long way.
We not only read the profiles but we try to get some semblance of what these people might be like. We do not sent blind friend request and usually do not approve them either...unless the couple is extremely hot. We have been very lucky with people we have met on the site and while we would like to meet more couples we have met some great people so far. Now if we could get to Salt Lake more often cause the folks in Houston on this site never respond...lol
Like most people on this thread we totally read profiles first, as we're interested in actually hooking up not just having our profile dug for those nudes. Being a few hours away from population centers has proven to put a damper on any spontaneous meetups anyway, and we'd rather not waste our time exchanging messages with people who don't even have a profile pic. We've had good times with single guys, but it's pretty obvious to tell which ones won't be putting in any effort.
every time. all of the time. The Mrs is not "real" bi....likes some play but not all of it and it cuts people's interest in us down by lots and lots of couples. Also gives us a feel as to their likes and dislikes and whether we may be a decent match or not.
Always, and if we get requests from others where we can clearly tell they didn't read ours then we dont bother.
We always read the profiles. Every once in a while we see pics and think “this couple is hot” but then ready the profiles and decide they are definitely not our type. It helps eliminate any awkwardness in meeting in person.
We read profiles but if were interested we may send a friend request anyway
Solo4more wrote:
I try to always read the bio to make sure we're actually interested in the same thing. Often you'll see a couple with a single male interest set to "yes" but they'd prefer to contact you or something so I don't want to be rude. And I try to include some detail or make some connection with them from what was in their profile when I message, so they know I wasn't just smashing that friend request out total horniness - just partial horniness.
haha these single dudes are always so proper and cool about everything, got this down to a science lol.. yet no poonnnthanngghhh
I don't read anything lol just send the same stale copy/paste email (wow nice pics and profile, yaddah...) to every couple we see. once they reply I read their profile and see if there is any interest. I don't even tell my wife about them until we are almost ready to meet. otherwise I'll be telling her about "this new couple" twice a week. needless to say this is not the best site for our area.
still, every time we decide to go out, we have a few couples lined up, willing and able to play. usually have to choose which ones would we meet. love socal.
I always read every word and would never send a friend request without sending a message first and asking. I suspect there are many guys (singles or parts of a couple) who see sexy pictures and immediately throw out a friend request. Like fishing, if you throw out enough casts, eventually you will get a bite. It's a numbers game to them.
The fact is the boorish single males here have made it almost impossible for those of us who are genuinely thoughtful and kind to get much of a chance. Almost every lady and couple here have a negative gut reaction to every single guy because of a few horn-dogs that only want to satisfy themselves or are only here to notch their bed-post.
I understand. When my wife and I were in the lifestyle we regularly met guys who were not only selfish, but frustratingly persistent. They regularly ignored OUR wishes and desires, and we regularly shot them down. It can be tiresome. Don't allow them to throw shade on all of us.
The fact is the boorish single males here have made it almost impossible for those of us who are genuinely thoughtful and kind to get much of a chance. Almost every lady and couple here have a negative gut reaction to every single guy because of a few horn-dogs that only want to satisfy themselves or are only here to notch their bed-post.
I understand. When my wife and I were in the lifestyle we regularly met guys who were not only selfish, but frustratingly persistent. They regularly ignored OUR wishes and desires, and we regularly shot them down. It can be tiresome. Don't allow them to throw shade on all of us.
I don't think people do... we're looking for a solo emale, and get couples and guy requests all the time..
Of course we have no problem friending couples to BE friends with. Like-minded individuals, but, she (my wife) won't touch the other dude (her choice) and that's where it usually ends, at least sexually.
Of course we have no problem friending couples to BE friends with. Like-minded individuals, but, she (my wife) won't touch the other dude (her choice) and that's where it usually ends, at least sexually.
Who knows what percentage of the user base is even active at any given time. I would guess maybe 10-15%. To top that off the profile activity is lied about. People updating when no updates. Last online getting refreshed often on dormant accounts. At this point in the game friend requests for lots are just a raise of hand to indicate activity, imo.
We always read them to see if we could be a good match.
Not even finding anyone active on this site that might be a match
Starting to think this site doesn't have enough active people if any in our area
Not even finding anyone active on this site that might be a match
Starting to think this site doesn't have enough active people if any in our area
We typically always read the profile before sending a request. We certainly wish more would do the same.
We definitely like to read through profiles if we have interest in a couple. In addition to the basics of height/weight/age/preferences, there's so much to learn about a person's personality and outlook by looking at what they choose to share in profiles and in pictures.
It's definitely not perfect but it's a good start in finding out if there's a spark! If a couple doesn't put much effort into a profile or into finding good pictures of themselves, they likely won't put much effort into a potential sexy/FWB relationship. That's my thought anyway!
It's definitely not perfect but it's a good start in finding out if there's a spark! If a couple doesn't put much effort into a profile or into finding good pictures of themselves, they likely won't put much effort into a potential sexy/FWB relationship. That's my thought anyway!
ThisIsCrazyThisIsCrazy wrote:
We definitely like to read through profiles if we have interest in a couple. In addition to the basics of height/weight/age/preferences, there's so much to learn about a person's personality and outlook by looking at what they choose to share in profiles and in pictures.
It's definitely not perfect but it's a good start in finding out if there's a spark! If a couple doesn't put much effort into a profile or into finding good pictures of themselves, they likely won't put much effort into a potential sexy/FWB relationship. That's my thought anyway!
👆 That, right there, is excellent! And... a thoughtful and fun profile to read as well.👏
We are as interested the profile as much as we are in the pics.
As a single male, I look for couples or single females who’s profiles say they’re interested in single males. Otherwise it’s insincere and a waste of everyone’s time.
I feel like the scourge as a single male on here. It’s kind of funny actually!
I feel like the scourge as a single male on here. It’s kind of funny actually!
What’s the point of writing a profile if no one reads it? An exercise in futility, like eating doughnuts while walking on a treadmill. But in the process it does allow us to articulate who we think we are, and what we think we want. And maybe, just maybe someone will read it!
If your profile is full of words, make them interesting. If you’re not going to write much, what should we think of you, or would you think of us? We do enjoy reading some profiles, but most if they say much, say the same things.
Ultimately it should say “We’re for you if A,B,C. We’re not for you if X,Y,Z. And if you’re A,B,C we’ll have a great time, and if X,Y,Z you’re not for us. All other options are for exploration and negotiation.”
If your profile is full of words, make them interesting. If you’re not going to write much, what should we think of you, or would you think of us? We do enjoy reading some profiles, but most if they say much, say the same things.
Ultimately it should say “We’re for you if A,B,C. We’re not for you if X,Y,Z. And if you’re A,B,C we’ll have a great time, and if X,Y,Z you’re not for us. All other options are for exploration and negotiation.”
We read profiles and we send appropriate messages to those we are interested in.
My opinion, no one reads their messages since we never get any responses. We assume that is necaise no one reads their messages. It is frustrating.
My opinion, no one reads their messages since we never get any responses. We assume that is necaise no one reads their messages. It is frustrating.
We always read them in detail and hope that others who contact us do the same.
I didn't "always" read profiles prior but eventually humbled myself enough to now "always" reading them before sending mail ...
always
We always read the full profile, review specifics on likes / dislikes etc. we then reach out to people we think are a match or fairly close.
We are always a bit frustrated when we get blind friend requests & we emphasize we won’t accept them without a note. Or when a person reaches out with a “want to fuck tonight” & it is obvious they didn’t spend even 30 seconds reading our profile.
We are always a bit frustrated when we get blind friend requests & we emphasize we won’t accept them without a note. Or when a person reaches out with a “want to fuck tonight” & it is obvious they didn’t spend even 30 seconds reading our profile.
We view profiles like a hiring manager would review resumes. A well written resume increases your chances of getting a job interview. If you are searching for a job, wouldn't you want to write the best resume possible? Likewise, a well written profile increases your chances to meet other couples. After the interview with the hiring manager, there may be an invitation to join the company. After a meeting with another couple, there may be an invitation to the bedroom. But, one has to get the "interview" first.
We definitely read profiles and actually quite enjoy it. There has been an interesting correlation. We have discovered that, in general, those with the longer profiles have turned out to be better matches for us. As someone stated earlier, the amount effort writing a profile may correspond to the amount of effort to become friends and lovers. Not always, but we have seen that.
Admittedly, our profile is longer than most. But, it allows the reader to develop a better idea of who we are and "WHO" (not what) we are looking for. It also addresses most of the typical "boundaries" questions. If our profile deters some from contacting us, then so be it, as they felt we were not a good match. They did us a favor. Chemistry is what we all want. We believe in good & candid communication and it starts with a profile.
We definitely read profiles and actually quite enjoy it. There has been an interesting correlation. We have discovered that, in general, those with the longer profiles have turned out to be better matches for us. As someone stated earlier, the amount effort writing a profile may correspond to the amount of effort to become friends and lovers. Not always, but we have seen that.
Admittedly, our profile is longer than most. But, it allows the reader to develop a better idea of who we are and "WHO" (not what) we are looking for. It also addresses most of the typical "boundaries" questions. If our profile deters some from contacting us, then so be it, as they felt we were not a good match. They did us a favor. Chemistry is what we all want. We believe in good & candid communication and it starts with a profile.
Wait... Profiles cater to the literate audience? 🙂
We read them, but we are probably not the best when it comes to referencing the profile when we send a request. For us, it is also difficult to weigh out and weed through the photos to see if we have an attraction as well. So, we are guilty of blind requests sometimes. I understand the frustration of blind requests, but it is also frustrating to try to find out if the profile is someone you are interested in speaking more with or possibly pursuing something. Just our two cents on this. 😉
We read them, but we are probably not the best when it comes to referencing the profile when we send a request. For us, it is also difficult to weigh out and weed through the photos to see if we have an attraction as well. So, we are guilty of blind requests sometimes. I understand the frustration of blind requests, but it is also frustrating to try to find out if the profile is someone you are interested in speaking more with or possibly pursuing something. Just our two cents on this. 😉
We always read then. Best way to know if you want to connect.
My profile specifically says I don't accept blind requests . I get them anyway . That just tells me...too dumb for me.
We do.
1DIVA wrote:
My profile specifically says I don't accept blind requests . I get them anyway . That just tells me...too dumb for me.
AMEN
Yea we read them as well. Before we send or contact someone. And before we accept friend requests.
EVERY time!!
Still amazing how may people don’t read profiles. We are a full swap couple and we get constant messages from soft swap couples ugh
We always read profiles before abduct a message and recently try to comment on part of their profile on the first message. "Oh, we enjoy this thing as well what is your favorite X? Ours is..."
We also read the profiles of all incoming messages as well.
We also read the profiles of all incoming messages as well.
PARTYINLV wrote:
We view profiles like a hiring manager would review resumes. A well written resume increases your chances of getting a job interview. If you are searching for a job, wouldn't want to write the best resume possible? Likewise, a well written profile increases your chances for us wanting to meet you. After the interview with the hiring manager, there may be an invitation to join the company. After a meeting with us, there may be an invitation to the bedroom. But, one has to get the "interview" first.
We definitely read profiles and actually quite enjoy it. There has been an interesting correlation. We have discovered that, in general, those with the longer profiles have turned out to be better matches for us. As someone stated earlier, the amount effort writing a profile may correspond to the amount of effort to become friends and lovers. Not always, but we have seen that.
Admittedly, our profile is longer than most. But, it allows the reader to develop a better idea of who we are and "WHO" (not what) we are looking for. It also addresses most of the typical "boundaries" questions. If our profile deters some for contacting us, so be it as they felt we were not a good match. They did us a favor. Chemistry is what we all want. We believe in good & candid communication and it starts with a profile.
☝️ 👍 👏 For those that are serious about meeting compatible people on this platform...take to heart what PartyinLV writes.
Incomplete, scant, and/or sloppy resumes won't get one's foot in many if any doors.
What about couples who are just starting out and don't quite know what they would like until they get wet? Obviously, we change it when we know.. I understand what your saying, I just don't think a profile is concrete, when the connection is there.
Lilyut82 wrote:
What about couples who are just starting out and don't quite know what they would like until they get wet? Obviously, we change it when we know.. I understand what your saying, I just don't think a profile is concrete, when the connection is there.
There are basics you can share about you as a couple that will begin to give a picture of who you are and is there be anything in common. Examples - do you like to travel, dance, hike, dine out, dine in, camp, fish, boating, etc. for us, as soon as we see a couple likes to travel & especially international travel we know there is a major thing in common. Now add in good dinning, movies, getting nakkid in a hot tub with a good drink & we’re on our way.
Of course there is always has to be some physical considerations & attractions. Some things seem small but can be important - a guy that is not trimmed / manscaped (think shaved balls & around the base of the penis at a minimum) is a show stopper for my wife. If a guy is a jungle down there, it’s an instant turn off & things don’t move forward. So, put that in your profile.
Not everything has to be about what your turns are or are not / what you’re looking for sexually.
Make sense?
As a single male, I definitely do. It is very clear that single males have a bad reputation on here and I don't want to contribute to that. I always look at the profile and see if they are okay with Single Males or not. If not, I move on. If they are okay, I then read the rest of the profile and try and learn a little more about them. That way I might have a conversation starter or at the very least have a few boundaries to work with with. Met with my first couple yesterday (just a meet and greet. It went very well!) but other than that things have been slow moving, but I get it.
Lilyut82 wrote:That's a great point.
What about couples who are just starting out and don't quite know what they would like until they get wet? Obviously, we change it when we know.. I understand what your saying, I just don't think a profile is concrete, when the connection is there.
AirWick wrote:Lilyut82 wrote:That's a great point.
What about couples who are just starting out and don't quite know what they would like until they get wet? Obviously, we change it when we know.. I understand what your saying, I just don't think a profile is concrete, when the connection is there.
To reiterate what has already been said or alluded to...the profile gives (or should give) the reader some general feel for the writer/s. When all we see is something like "Here to have fun. Looking for fun couples".....that doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. Of course they want to have fun...just like everyone else. The same profiles typically have one photo. Same story: Doesn't tell the viewer much....outside of the fact little effort was put forth.
It's not just about what the person likes to do under the sheets. Many don't care what someone wants to do in bed if they have no connection outside of sex. And connection starts at the profile. Without being face to face, the profile is the first impression.
Always! My guess is that people who don't aren't even reading this thread.
Canvas wrote:
That's a great point.
To reiterate what has already been said or alluded to...the profile gives (or should give) the reader some general feel for the writer/s. When all we see is something like "Here to have fun. Looking for fun couples".....that doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. Of course they want to have fun...just like everyone else. The same profiles typically have one photo. Same story: Doesn't tell the viewer much....outside of the fact little effort was put forth.
It's not just about what the person likes to do under the sheets. Many don't care what someone wants to do in bed if they have no connection outside of sex. And connection starts at the profile. Without being face to face, the profile is the first impression.[/quote]
T H I S: “Many don't care what someone wants to do in bed if they have no connection outside of sex.”
These two posts describe our perspective nearly perfect! We’ll said!
Yes
Yes
we always read and chat about profiles, and if they aren't what we are looking for, or are not out type of People (Outdoorsy, or athletic) then we know they aren't for us.
We always read the profiles, but many profiles are so bland and generic as to be useless. Easy going, Outdoorsy, no drama, blah blah blah. It would be better if profiles actually gave you an impression of who and what a couple is.
The profile may state that. But the filter still adds you to the search. Must be something else you have checked
I have seen that happen many times when responding to couples. I always read profile prior to sending message
I have seen that happen many times when responding to couples. I always read profile prior to sending message
JULESVERNE wrote:
We always read the profiles, but many profiles are so bland and generic as to be useless. Easy going, Outdoorsy, no drama, blah blah blah. It would be better if profiles actually gave you an impression of who and what a couple is.
Or their account is fake. Seems like there are a few.
Yes it's so annoying we state we hate expectations and will not meet up for the hey nice to meet you let's fuck. That's the fastest way for my wife to get turned off and say no. We like to vibe make friends and if things lead that way then we are fully on board and we only play together and constantly people want her to play seperate. Its so annoying
In general, I'll first scroll down to see what it says under SINGLE MALES. If it says NO, I stop. If it says YES or MAYBE, I'll read to see what their expectations are.
Also, I always send out an intro letter first before shooting out the friend request.
Also, I always send out an intro letter first before shooting out the friend request.