How can I report a awful guy who’s cat fishing and body shaming and useing and great women poorly that I met on the site?
I would send a message to the "administrator" account with clear details of the issues.
Geminiklr,
As WILFIRE said, if you haven't already, I would immediately send ADMIN an email regarding this individual and then, if you don't get a timely response, consider outing him in the forums by his profile name. Do you have emails or some other proof of his bad behavior? If you do that would be very helpful.
Sometimes ADMIN doesn't seem to get his emails, for some reason, and the forum moderators apparently don't have the power or authority to actually do anything other than send TOS violators a stern email. So I think you would be justified taking unilateral action if the site ADMIN doesn't respond quickly. This is our community and it's up to us to protect ourselves and our fellow Swingular members from abuse.
Evil
As WILFIRE said, if you haven't already, I would immediately send ADMIN an email regarding this individual and then, if you don't get a timely response, consider outing him in the forums by his profile name. Do you have emails or some other proof of his bad behavior? If you do that would be very helpful.
Sometimes ADMIN doesn't seem to get his emails, for some reason, and the forum moderators apparently don't have the power or authority to actually do anything other than send TOS violators a stern email. So I think you would be justified taking unilateral action if the site ADMIN doesn't respond quickly. This is our community and it's up to us to protect ourselves and our fellow Swingular members from abuse.
Evil
Maybe a more even handed approach by a more dispassionate individual where cooler heads prevail may be a more prudent path forward.
U2LOVER wrote:
Maybe a more even handed approach by a more dispassionate individual where cooler heads prevail may be a more prudent path forward.
So what would YOU suggest...knowing that quite often ADMIN is MIA as far as monitoring issues on the site?
Cat fishing, body shaming, . . . whatever label you want to put on it . . . its abuse and should not be tolerated in this community. There can be NO exceptions. Doesn't matter what pathetic excuse the guy uses (e.g. she didn't respond to my email, she didn't accept my friend request) no excuse can justify the behavior. I'm with Evil - zero tolerance. This is OUR community. If you saved any of the messages Gemini . . . post them - take screen shots and post them as images. Sooner or later idiots like this will learn! This guys needs to be outed . . . completely out IMHO.
EVILDOERS wrote:U2LOVER wrote:
Maybe a more even handed approach by a more dispassionate individual where cooler heads prevail may be a more prudent path forward.
So what would YOU suggest...knowing that quite often ADMIN is MIA as far as monitoring issues on the site?
If we use a blind resume approach to this, then maybe any critique of this issue my become more transparent. I surely don't know both sides of the story but, as far as concealing someones identity, this is a common practice here. Body shaming is par for the course, there is a reason some have more sexual partner options than others. As to the mistreatment, so long as it is not criminal, or crosses into that area, this is not a place for the faint of heart.
Until the admin responds and can take a full accounting of the situation the options are limited to helping her friend block this individual, and being supportive of her friend. Though if they are both consenting adults(from the post the injured party is not the one taking offence), we may wish to tread lightly; if it is not consensual physical contact, then these forms are not the place this conversation.
These activities with the exception of abuse are common practice here on the site, and on swinger cruises, and unless someone is suggesting some variation, on some version, of issuing play partners, I fear that is is solely on our shoulders to be inviting, and treat each other well and maybe stay away for engaging in these activities that now seem so offensive.
Thank you EVIL (M$K)
You are correct I should have been more thoughtful in my post. I hope this offers some clarity.
Evil,
Seems that when I changed my account to a single male I can no longer message you.
Thank you for pushing back on me, I suppose I should have offered a path forward if I am going to comment.
If you would send me a message that would be great, as I can not message you. (M&K)
Seems that when I changed my account to a single male I can no longer message you.
Thank you for pushing back on me, I suppose I should have offered a path forward if I am going to comment.
If you would send me a message that would be great, as I can not message you. (M&K)
U2LOVER wrote:
So what would YOU suggest...knowing that quite often ADMIN is MIA as far as monitoring issues on the site?
If we use a blind resume approach to this, then maybe any critique of this issue my become more transparent. I surely don't know both sides of the story but, as far as concealing someones identity, this is a common practice here. Body shaming is par for the course, there is a reason some have more sexual partner options than others. As to the mistreatment, so long as it is not criminal, or crosses into that area, this is not a place for the faint of heart.
Until the admin responds and can take a full accounting of the situation the options are limited to helping her friend block this individual, and being supportive of her friend. Though if they are both consenting adults(from the post the injured party is not the one taking offence), we may wish to tread lightly; if it is not consensual physical contact, then these forms are not the place this conversation.
These activities with the exception of abuse are common practice here on the site, and on swinger cruises, and unless someone is suggesting some variation, on some version, of issuing play partners, I fear that is is solely on our shoulders to be inviting, and treat each other well and maybe stay away for engaging in these activities that now seem so offensive.
Thank you EVIL (M$K)
You are correct I should have been more thoughtful in my post. I hope this offers some clarity.[/quote]
I completely disagree with your statement. This site and the lifestyle are all centered around respect. To state that body shaming “is par for the course” is a very ignorant statement and if any party respectfully says no for any reason abusive or harassing behavior is absolutely unacceptable and if that is indeed their character then I feel we have a duty to protect others on the site from that behavior.
Given you have the information to make an informed and prudent decision, I complacently agree. If you have more information than what her friend shared then you are in a more informed position than I.
My original statement was:
Maybe a more even handed approach by a more dispassionate individual where cooler heads prevail may be a more prudent path forward.
I am not sure what part of that is ignorant.
As for the body shaming, when the rolls are reversed, similar condemnations are pointed at those who for whatever their history are not in the top of fitness or alterations. This community is very harsh towards the other gender.
Now, on to the no means no part of your critique. You will get no argument from me. This is the friend of the person. She seems to be hurt by proxy.
So it remains, so long as it is not criminal, her friend can block him, and reach out for support. So far as I have read all this is hypothetical, as (at least) I have not a single bit of raw data to base any conclusion upon. So I am left saying that when the ADMIN gets to it, they can see everything and come to a better conclusion in keeping with the TOS.
My original statement was:
Maybe a more even handed approach by a more dispassionate individual where cooler heads prevail may be a more prudent path forward.
I am not sure what part of that is ignorant.
As for the body shaming, when the rolls are reversed, similar condemnations are pointed at those who for whatever their history are not in the top of fitness or alterations. This community is very harsh towards the other gender.
Now, on to the no means no part of your critique. You will get no argument from me. This is the friend of the person. She seems to be hurt by proxy.
So it remains, so long as it is not criminal, her friend can block him, and reach out for support. So far as I have read all this is hypothetical, as (at least) I have not a single bit of raw data to base any conclusion upon. So I am left saying that when the ADMIN gets to it, they can see everything and come to a better conclusion in keeping with the TOS.
U2LOVER wrote:
Given you have the information to make an informed and prudent decision, I complacently agree. If you have more information than what her friend shared then you are in a more informed position than I.
My original statement was:
Maybe a more even handed approach by a more dispassionate individual where cooler heads prevail may be a more prudent path forward.
I am not sure what part of that is ignorant.
As for the body shaming, when the rolls are reversed, similar condemnations are pointed at those who for whatever their history are not in the top of fitness or alterations. This community is very harsh towards the other gender.
Now, on to the no means no part of your critique. You will get no argument from me. This is the friend of the person. She seems to be hurt by proxy.
So it remains, so long as it is not criminal, her friend can block him, and reach out for support. So far as I have read all this is hypothetical, as (at least) I have not a single bit of raw data to base any conclusion upon. So I am left saying that when the ADMIN gets to it, they can see everything and come to a better conclusion in keeping with the TOS.
They were referring to you saying that "bodyshaning was the norm" is ignorant.
On your basis that the community is very harsh to males; thats completely untrue because last I checked. The majority of couples here are M/F so that would mean nearly 50% of couples in the lifestyle are Male... (apart from f/f , m/m or throuples)
It's not males that people are, as you put it "harsh" towards. Your probably referring to the sub group in the lifestyle you belong to, single males. (yes I know your married but in the Lifestyle sense, your a SM.)
I have yet to meet anyone who body shamed us in this great community, and have heard of no tales of body shaming being common place as you claim.
This community is not a place that "is not for the faint of heart." We joined for the sex, stayed for the community.