So, like I've said before if you've seen my previous posts (even if you haven't, I still said it), we're new to this whole swinging experience. We got into it because I, dafne, the wife, always wanted to know what it was like to be with another woman but had never been confronted with an opportunity until after I got married. I love my husband dearly and do not want to cheat on him, so I told him about the opportunity I'd been presented with and what I wanted to do about it. He was reluctant at first even though he'd actually been in similar circumstances before with an old girlfriend. Finally, we came to a compromise that works for us.
Now, here I come to this site and find these fabulous forums with people posting interesting and honest opinions on topics I am interested in learning more about. I'd like to know how you all came into this lifestyle. How many women out there were the initiators like me? How long did you discuss the potential situations before you acted? How did you start out and what was the evolution like from where you started to where you are now? I'd especially like to hear from married couples. Plus, what, if any, problems have arisen or what benefits (besides the obvious) have you noticed in your relationship specifically because of this lifestyle?
Answer one or all of the questions or whatever, but your comments will be appreciated.
Thanks,
dafne
Now, here I come to this site and find these fabulous forums with people posting interesting and honest opinions on topics I am interested in learning more about. I'd like to know how you all came into this lifestyle. How many women out there were the initiators like me? How long did you discuss the potential situations before you acted? How did you start out and what was the evolution like from where you started to where you are now? I'd especially like to hear from married couples. Plus, what, if any, problems have arisen or what benefits (besides the obvious) have you noticed in your relationship specifically because of this lifestyle?
Answer one or all of the questions or whatever, but your comments will be appreciated.
Thanks,
dafne
Well hey, I am the Mrs. Stitch, and I didnt intiate the lifestyle. My husband had always hinted around about his fantasy of 2 women and him.....that is every man's fantasy (at least the men I know) it just evolved from there. We found that it was difficult to find just a female so it evolved into couples, although that wasnt our intention. Unfortunately we didnt really discuss senario's and possibilities of situations we might encounter, we were just kinda thrown into it. We were down in Vegas during the Lifestyle Convention and found ourselves right in the middle of it. Looking back, I wish we woulda talk more about it, cuz it kinda freaked us out a little, but it was fun. Four years later here we are. We have found what works for us through communication and trial and error. We have had bad experiences but we have learned from them as well so I dont really regret any of it. When this all evolved into a full swap for us, I think my husband was a little suprised that I went for it, but I am a sexual being too, and I was just as curious. It was him that made me feel comfortable enough to continue and look into our curiuosity of being with someone else. We talk about everything, every feeling, every turn on it helps us work through it. The most important thing that we have always done is not to make it (the lifestyle) a HUGE part of our everyday lives. We take breaks, we regroup with each other. This fun sexual encoutners that we have are exciting and something to spice up our already wonderful sex life. This sounds terrible to say, cause we value all of our lifestyle friends" but it is kinda like a wonderful sex toy for us. Sex toys are used to spice up your sex lives to bring something new to the bedroom, that is what this does for us. We have met some wonderful people that have become our great friends that we hang out with and do fun things with. It isnt that we view them as only toys, because it isnt like that at all......we value and respect all the couples we have met in this. We dont do this just to get laid, we love to watch each other get turned on, and we love the excitement of it all. It is just great fun that we have together it keeps us spiced up in our own sex life. Wouldnt you all agree that the after sex is just totally AMAZING!!!!
Thanks for the feedback so far. Have any of you kept a girlfriend or kept a steady relationship with another couple? Perhaps I mean to ask if emotions come into play.
We met online, and she is the one that brought it up. We talked for a couple of months online and really hit it off. After we met, it was even better. But....... I was not ready for a monogamous relationship and was determined not to get into one. Our entire relationship is based on the lifestyle and the freedom each of us has to do what we want. We love what we have created. We are best friends and lovers! We have our cake, and we are eating it too. Life is good!
We got our start by going to a cpls swing club while we were both working in Germany it was (his) initial idea once (she) went to the club and seen how much fun it was she was hooked lol. That was over 7yrs ago. It has made our married life that much stronger we have been married as of this July for 29 yrs. and yes we have some very good steady friends in this lifestyle. The lifestyle is what YOU make of it if you have a jelous bone in your body better get rid of it quick or you willnever make it in this lifestyle you have to both want it equally the ones we see who have not lasted in the lifestyle is the ones who are trying to "drag" the other in hopes they will enjoy it discuss it FULLY first make sure you both agree its what you want and then go for it. Hope we have added a bit of insight to this topic
Norm&Sharon
Norm&Sharon
We have been in the lifestyle for over three years now and have learned quite alot. About 5 years ago I (Doc) brought it up to Netta (the lifestyle) and it took two years before she brought it up to me. She did it by writing..........."lets do it" on my birthday care. Since then we have met many couples....some we have not reconnected with again.....some we have seen quite a bit. We have now some very good friends whom we also play with.
In the beginning we had quite a few rules that we have since discarded and now have a few guidelines to govern us. We always go into a meet with NO expectations. For us, chemestry is an reason to play with others. I have seen in posts on Swingular that some are here for just sex......"its only sex"......well we are not into just fucking......for us that is a mechanical act that has no meaning other than getting off......and thats not how we conduct ourselves. We enjoy new friends......some we play with...others we dont.......but the lifestyle offers us the opportunity to choose....and we do. We are never forced into anything we dont want to do. We are only here to have fun......and provide pleasure to others. We are having a great time.
We both have playmates.......whom we see......not frequently but it is fun to have my ladyfriend over for some quality time as I find it exciting to watch.....hear Netta enjoying her time with her Male friend. For us its all in the head......how we think......how open we are. I just want Netta to have a fun, quality time........and cum so much she cant take it anymore......lol.....
Doc
In the beginning we had quite a few rules that we have since discarded and now have a few guidelines to govern us. We always go into a meet with NO expectations. For us, chemestry is an reason to play with others. I have seen in posts on Swingular that some are here for just sex......"its only sex"......well we are not into just fucking......for us that is a mechanical act that has no meaning other than getting off......and thats not how we conduct ourselves. We enjoy new friends......some we play with...others we dont.......but the lifestyle offers us the opportunity to choose....and we do. We are never forced into anything we dont want to do. We are only here to have fun......and provide pleasure to others. We are having a great time.
We both have playmates.......whom we see......not frequently but it is fun to have my ladyfriend over for some quality time as I find it exciting to watch.....hear Netta enjoying her time with her Male friend. For us its all in the head......how we think......how open we are. I just want Netta to have a fun, quality time........and cum so much she cant take it anymore......lol.....
Doc
We met in the lifestyle on a competing website...I (the male) was looking for no-strings sex, she was looking for good sex....We chatted met, fucked like rabbits, and have been doing so since...We have had some bad experiences, we both have done things we should not have, and we ALWAYS learn from what we experienced....In our opinions, we think that communication is the most important aspect of this lifestyle...We have learned that communicating afterwards is important, but to communicate BEFORE is moreso...Our first experience was with a couple, she thought I liked the lady, which I did not, I thought she liked the man, which she did not...so...learn from our mistakes,,,,COMMUNICATE!!!!!