I have found that when I meet someone new for drinks or dinner etc, that a good place to start the conversation is about the site on which you met and some of your experiences there. My question is, How much, or do you talk about other members or swingers in your area. Sometimes it's a very small world, lol especially if you're meeting someone local.Usually it seems hard to avoid if you or they have comments or certifications on your profiles, sometimes someone will ask what you thought of "so&so" I usually try to be discreet and not mention any names if I'm discussing some experience I've had. But then again there have been times when other people have mentioned names of swingers who were really hot, or maybe even some that were not "so fun" to meet lol and it has been helpful to me. So what do you think?
We never use names just describe situations to illustrate what type of things we do. The only time I could imagine using names is if you went to house party and all concerned know you were all there. Then would use general terms of what mutual experiences we had at the party but no specifics we may have done with the people on a one on one basis. Discretion is paramount.
Never mention names! One thing we've found over the years is that people who swing, particularly those who belong to clubs, have too much to say about other people. I don't want to hear about it.. The people who are typically being trashed may be friends and we may have had different experiences with them. Best thing is simply the illustrated comments about what your version of swinging is. Descretion means or should mean what happens with others stays there and is not discussed. People may mesh differently with others and your experience or theirs is irrelevant. So MUM's the word.
Ray
Ray
We generally don't talk about others using names, but in the crowd we've been with lately, we are all aware of the history and experiences of each other. We know many of the same people and have many mutual experiences.
We do avoid gossiping and/or 'name dropping' with people that we don't know as well.
We do avoid gossiping and/or 'name dropping' with people that we don't know as well.
We agree, never use names, or even screen names, it is a small community, this life we are in.
When talking with old or new friends, no matter what, it's always best to leave names out of it, even if you are talking positive about someone.
We have come across, people, who ask questions of other people, either they seen some validations, or they just know we know, we live by the golden rule of, create your own opinion, it's sometimes a tough question to get out of, especially if you know something negative, but, unless the people are going to put you in any kind of danger, we keep our mouths shut.
People ask us to be descreet for a reason, and who are we to violate that trust.
When talking with old or new friends, no matter what, it's always best to leave names out of it, even if you are talking positive about someone.
We have come across, people, who ask questions of other people, either they seen some validations, or they just know we know, we live by the golden rule of, create your own opinion, it's sometimes a tough question to get out of, especially if you know something negative, but, unless the people are going to put you in any kind of danger, we keep our mouths shut.
People ask us to be descreet for a reason, and who are we to violate that trust.
We have never met anyone from any website so we can't talk about people we havent met. For those we have met in the local club here, we will mention that we played with them and had fun but we NEVER share details and we won't speak badly of a couple even if we didnt enjoy the meeting, because everyone has their own opinions.
We do talk of different experiences, however, never do we "name drop". It is very important to not kiss and tell, we have even gone as far as to not let our testimonials be availble for people to see, its great to know what another couple thinks about ya but, too much info is givin sometimes....I really don't want everyone knowin how many people or what we have been up to, most of the time..just my 2 cents...
mrs. Tart
mrs. Tart
Bottom line is, no matter how big an area you reside in, (it can be the entire state) if you drop dime, it WILL catch up with you! Always best to keep your guts on the inside...
~D&T~
~D&T~
good point HRNYLTLTART00 and WOLFMAJESTIC
we tend to agree its all about the fun not who ya had it with... If name droping is what people do then they have some bad karma and it will come back on them for kissin and tellin hehehe
Yes and no. We don't say we play with John and Jane Doe every week. We might say we know of Jane and John if it comes up in conversation.
I think most of us have talked about who we have met before, but there is a line that shouldn't be crossed when talking about others. Like Canitb said...it will come back on them. I think it is nice to hear that another person has "recommended" someone...LOL Isn't that kind of what the real and VIP seal is? If someone is GREAT to "hang out" with, hell I want to meet them. I mean, we NEVER talk bad about someone, but it's good to talk nicely about others. Or am I wrong?
NEVER NEVER NEVER NEFER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER, and did I mention NEVER !
No utfun your not wrong at all. Some times when people start talking (without name dropping) not meaning anything bad just an experience, other people will say things you dont want them too. Lesson learned here feelings get hurt and that sucks , so we just stopped talking about anything but good in people. Mr and Mrs tart
We agree that name dropping is a bad thing and in the few years that we have been in this lifestyle we have only had one bad experience and the funny thing is when we vaguely describe the experience only when asked (this means NO names, ScreenNames, locations or anything like that) we ALWAYS get the same response... Ohh so you met "ScreenName" too... our mouth usually hits the floor with the "how the fuck" look.
but other than that we would never kiss n tell because its no one else's business who we have or have not met or been with .
but other than that we would never kiss n tell because its no one else's business who we have or have not met or been with .
ok but i would like to know if a cpl has had a mad time .
why should other cpls have to go thur the bs ..why not say hay look they are ok but they need to work on there peopel skills .. i dont know maybe iam wrong ,,we are new to the life style ,,i would like to know if the guy or guys hehe my wife is with are up to par..as i would hope you are also . we have met some cpls that just clicked from the start .then others that say 1 thing then when you met .you say who are you guys ..let all be grown ups dont lie on your profile then this would not happen ..we have met some fakes ..so we say if you know some 1 is a fake let your friends know ..
why should other cpls have to go thur the bs ..why not say hay look they are ok but they need to work on there peopel skills .. i dont know maybe iam wrong ,,we are new to the life style ,,i would like to know if the guy or guys hehe my wife is with are up to par..as i would hope you are also . we have met some cpls that just clicked from the start .then others that say 1 thing then when you met .you say who are you guys ..let all be grown ups dont lie on your profile then this would not happen ..we have met some fakes ..so we say if you know some 1 is a fake let your friends know ..
Smoke....
It's a fine line, being discreet and wanting to share bad experiences. I think you hit the nail on the head with your 'share with friends' comment.
I have a few couples that I spend time with who 'look out for me'. They know that I see single guys and are pretty frank with me when they have a bad experience. In fact, recently, I got an IM from one of them that started, "in your ongoing quest to find the ultimate single man, AVOID _______ at all costs" It was pretty funny.
I appreciate these people who look out for me...... you know who you are !!!
Better to share the great experiences eh?
Enjoy!
-Te
It's a fine line, being discreet and wanting to share bad experiences. I think you hit the nail on the head with your 'share with friends' comment.
I have a few couples that I spend time with who 'look out for me'. They know that I see single guys and are pretty frank with me when they have a bad experience. In fact, recently, I got an IM from one of them that started, "in your ongoing quest to find the ultimate single man, AVOID _______ at all costs" It was pretty funny.
I appreciate these people who look out for me...... you know who you are !!!
Better to share the great experiences eh?
Enjoy!
-Te
Hehehe...See Te! You've got a lot of people covering your back! 
Hehehe....
Tara - Your Cody is really a hunk and quite the ultimate in men... count me in, but make sure he knows that while I do much in the bedroom I'm NOT doing windows.... k?
K_T - Why yes I do Aren't I the lucky girl?
((Huggs)) to you all!
Enjoy!
-Te
Tara - Your Cody is really a hunk and quite the ultimate in men... count me in, but make sure he knows that while I do much in the bedroom I'm NOT doing windows.... k?
K_T - Why yes I do
Aren't I the lucky girl? ((Huggs)) to you all!
Enjoy!
-Te
After giving this question alot of thought and consideration, we have come to the conclusion that first it might be very helpful to meet someone. Then after meeting you might have something or someone to talk about. As soon as we have our first experience, we might find ourselves more qualified to give an answer. Hopefully that will happen before we are great grandparents.. (LOL) JK.
No, it is nobody's business but ours! I expect discretion on their part and practice it on my part. I might share a particular party or something funny that happened in general terms, but no names. I think about my own desire for "anonymity" in the non-swinging public and protect that of others.