Flattening The Belly:
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad
bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried
about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I
have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time, " said the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her
knees and blows it right back up."
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad
bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried
about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I
have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time, " said the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her
knees and blows it right back up."
LMAO
very funny
very funny
hmmmm
here is one.
A guy picked a woman up in a nightclub and took her Home.
While they were walking home he didn't say a Thing.
"You're not the communicative type, are you?" she said As they were undressing.
"Nah," he replied and pulled out his old fella. "I do All my talking with this." "Damn," said the girl as she leaned forward to look.
"You don't have much to say, do you?"
While they were walking home he didn't say a Thing.
"You're not the communicative type, are you?" she said As they were undressing.
"Nah," he replied and pulled out his old fella. "I do All my talking with this." "Damn," said the girl as she leaned forward to look.
"You don't have much to say, do you?"
At dawn the telephone rings.
"Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot died.
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat, Senor Rod"
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Si Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell??....Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle??!!!
"Si Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL? "Your wife's, Senor Rod...She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."
SILENCE...................LONG SILENCE....
"Ernesto if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!"
"Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot died.
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat, Senor Rod"
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Si Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell??....Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle??!!!
"Si Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL? "Your wife's, Senor Rod...She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."
SILENCE...................LONG SILENCE....
"Ernesto if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!"
A woman was doing laundry in the basement of her apartment building when she noticed how dirty the robe she's wearing is. It's early morning and no one was around so she just threw it in with the rest. As she stands there naked, she notices that the moisture from the ceiling is dripping on her head. She see's a child's football-helmet in the corner and puts it on to keep the dirty water from getting in her hair. Just then a man walks in to read the meter in the room, he sees her and without batting an eye he says: "Lady, I don't know what you're playin', but I hope your team wins!"