I'm curious how many couples wait to receive messages and how many look for couples and message them first. Do you send messages? Do you just send friend invites or just wait to be messaged?
I started out strong messaging then I stopped not allot of results. I found more by posting on here saying hey this is us and what where looking for. And going to moose Lounge. Or I message people I see active in the forum. With that said Sammie hit is up if your interested. Or I'm guessing you go to New rec centre I'm there every morning. Good luck.
We do a lot of first messages. Sometimes we get responses, sometimes not. We don't do blind friend requests because we don't want people to send us any without at least a note.
If we find a compelling profile or find a post that's compelling, incisive, or funny we'll shoot off an email but we don't follow up unless we get some kind of positive response or some signal that there is some mutual interest. We almost NEVER send blind friend requests. But that's just us.
When we were on Craigslist we always waited to be messaged first.
I have done both...if I see an interesting couple in the forum i send a message and friend request. I am excited to start playing and meeting and greeting . I Can't wait to attend one of the events. Just have to wait for my man to have time for me to go.
We respond to inquiries far more often then we make the first contact. When we were younger we got a lot more inquiries and we also made more first contacts . We used to play almost weekly, and sometimes two or three times a week. We attended more meet and greets too.
As we have aged we get fewer inquiries. We are probably not within the age parameters, that most swingers are looking for. We also have very little free time. So really it kind of works out. We have discovered that now that are kids are all grown and married etc., that almost all of our social time is family related. Its a good thing! What it has done is eliminate us from the hit most of the events crowd or the hang out twice every weekend crowd. We just can't live up to that. It's not out of obligation it's a choice. We spent far more energy and emotion as parents than we have in the swing scene. So for us spontaneity and flexibility are really key elements. We can't spend much time swinging, but we will make worth someone's time when we do hook up.
For us primetime swing time was at the point in life when the kids were old enough to not need a babysitter, they needed a lot of time to hang out with friends and needed a bit of autonomy too. We could go out, while they were out playing with their friends, and play with our friends. Now that they are all real adults, happy and successful, they want to hang out. We enjoy each others company, and for us family really is paramount.
We were not swingers when they were young. We really didn't have time for it. Now that our kids are adults, and are doing what we did with family, and we are involved and enjoying it, what and who fits in the lifestyle has changed up a bit. The search engine parameters, and most profiles don't address most of the deeper layers of compatibility. In the end, if you remain true to yourselves, and each other, you'll run into the right people, at the right times in your life.
As we have aged we get fewer inquiries. We are probably not within the age parameters, that most swingers are looking for. We also have very little free time. So really it kind of works out. We have discovered that now that are kids are all grown and married etc., that almost all of our social time is family related. Its a good thing! What it has done is eliminate us from the hit most of the events crowd or the hang out twice every weekend crowd. We just can't live up to that. It's not out of obligation it's a choice. We spent far more energy and emotion as parents than we have in the swing scene. So for us spontaneity and flexibility are really key elements. We can't spend much time swinging, but we will make worth someone's time when we do hook up.
For us primetime swing time was at the point in life when the kids were old enough to not need a babysitter, they needed a lot of time to hang out with friends and needed a bit of autonomy too. We could go out, while they were out playing with their friends, and play with our friends. Now that they are all real adults, happy and successful, they want to hang out. We enjoy each others company, and for us family really is paramount.
We were not swingers when they were young. We really didn't have time for it. Now that our kids are adults, and are doing what we did with family, and we are involved and enjoying it, what and who fits in the lifestyle has changed up a bit. The search engine parameters, and most profiles don't address most of the deeper layers of compatibility. In the end, if you remain true to yourselves, and each other, you'll run into the right people, at the right times in your life.
We had some good results while we were on Craigslist and just waited for emails. It seemed to work fine. We're not in any hurry and we eventually had some great couples come along. It did take time though. It really is about quality and not quantity,
We message and only get about a 1/4 That respond back. But those that respond usually turn out to be good friends in the end so all in all it turns out for the good.
That’s part problem of being in a site were there’s a ton Of 10/10’s.
I (male half) has always been the one to look for couple's for us. I try and message first and have had some luck but nothing that has lasted. Most couples are just wanting a female, some dont reply and some are rude. But it is quality over quantity and so i keep looking to find a couple for us that will last more then a few meet up's or a little fling that only last about 2 month's. I send friend request and messages and usually get no reply, but were poly and not just wanting a quick hook up.. but not so easy to find.
I agree with almost all of these responses. I am new to swingular as a single female. But partner always did the friending etc. before. I stumble around a lot but I put it in my profile to send a message first. Amazing how many people don't actually read that part. I've found if I am intrigued by something in the profile of those blind requests and message before accepting, there are some great people on the site!
Both. We message and sometimes get messages. But it's like Evildoers says; a compelling profile or a sense of humor in a post really grabs our interest.
We do get blind friend requests. We just delete those unless the profile write up is compelling. But if it's a blind request it usually means they didn't take the time to read our profile. Which also means they probably aren't really interested in knowing us🤷.
Face to face events, the Moose Lounge, etc really speed things up. Recommend that approach if at all possible.
We do get blind friend requests. We just delete those unless the profile write up is compelling. But if it's a blind request it usually means they didn't take the time to read our profile. Which also means they probably aren't really interested in knowing us🤷.
Face to face events, the Moose Lounge, etc really speed things up. Recommend that approach if at all possible.
I have been the writer in almost all of our attempts to reach out to people. I agree that the answers are nowhere near the proportion of messages. I try to remember it's similar to a salesperson prospecting or a major league baseball hitter. You're considered successful if you connect 3 out of every ten times. Anyway, we are both bi and actually met through another swingers website. We would love to chat with you and meet for a drink. If we click, we are open to playing on the first meet. Look forward to your reply.
Ed and Gill
Ed and Gill
Bicouplemarried wrote:
I started out strong messaging then I stopped not allot of results. I found more by posting on here saying hey this is us and what where looking for. And going to moose Lounge. Or I message people I see active in the forum. With that said Sammie hit is up if your interested. Or I'm guessing you go to New rec centre I'm there every morning. Good luck.
Sure, someone has to go first. If you find a profile of someone you may match up with or someone you want to go to dinner with, write them and say so. Everyone is busy and someone has to say hi first. We write people first and a lot of times they say we have been looking at your profile and meaning to write, thanks for reaching out.
Can't hurt, just say hi
Can't hurt, just say hi
Sure, someone has to go first. If you find a profile of someone you may match up with or someone you want to go to dinner with, write them and say so. Everyone is busy and someone has to say hi first. We write people first and a lot of times they say we have been looking at your profile and meaning to write, thanks for reaching out.
Can't hurt, just say hi
Can't hurt, just say hi
Being from a small town we have a few friends up north that we'll get ahold of if we plan a trip to their neighborhood.
But for the most part we don't send the message first and we never send friend requests.
Some find this odd but we can't always be travelling and have found this upsets people when we add them but can't play right away like we're not interested in them but we are it's just a time and money thing.
So we stay on the DL and stalk the page 😁👀
But for the most part we don't send the message first and we never send friend requests.
Some find this odd but we can't always be travelling and have found this upsets people when we add them but can't play right away like we're not interested in them but we are it's just a time and money thing.
So we stay on the DL and stalk the page 😁👀
Being from a small town we have a few friends up north that we'll get ahold of if we plan a trip to their neighborhood.
But for the most part we don't send the message first and we never send friend requests.
Some find this odd but we can't always be travelling and have found this upsets people when we add them but can't play right away like we're not interested in them but we are it's just a time and money thing.
So we stay on the DL and stalk the page 😁👀
But for the most part we don't send the message first and we never send friend requests.
Some find this odd but we can't always be travelling and have found this upsets people when we add them but can't play right away like we're not interested in them but we are it's just a time and money thing.
So we stay on the DL and stalk the page 😁👀
it’s interesting, we notice some people never even read messages we send them. I guess those profiles are fake lol.
We try and be proactive when we find singles or couples we like. We don't always add them right away and just send an initial message. Others have been proactive as well, some message us first but others just try and add without saying anything.
A million ways to skin a cat. I think we are about 50/50. I used to send out messages to a lot of new couples and it grew our group of friends quickly. Lately we haven't been getting on as much and are busy with the people we know but are still always happy and interested in meeting new people.
My take on blind requests is this. I often, or rather sometimes, send blind request for the simple fact that I need to see more pictures to know if we even have an interest. So many people have one pic of the girl, dressed, and nothing else. Or some hint of what they look like but nothing that would give me an indication if they are attractive to us. Not all friends we talk to are attractive to us and we make friends with all types, but initially, if I'm browsing, I think it is strange and kind of a let down when a couple doesn't advertise themselves properly. If all you have is a close up of a nipple or an ass crack I'll probably send a blind request to see if you have something more telling under your friend folder. Information is key.
Typically when I see a picture that is the "close up nipple pic" or just a dick pic, I will move on. We are attracted to a package (not talking dicks, children, get you minds out of the gutter) and not a single body part. Everyone has something they are attracted to...thick, thin, heavy, small tits, huge tits, morbidly obese, etc. Be honest and flaunt what you have.
On a different note, it is kind of lame if a person/s has plenty of pics and a good profile writeup and someone does a blind request. That just seems like they are looking for free porn. Move on. Another irritation is when people blind request who don't have any pics at all. Come on peeps.
Mr. SRO
My take on blind requests is this. I often, or rather sometimes, send blind request for the simple fact that I need to see more pictures to know if we even have an interest. So many people have one pic of the girl, dressed, and nothing else. Or some hint of what they look like but nothing that would give me an indication if they are attractive to us. Not all friends we talk to are attractive to us and we make friends with all types, but initially, if I'm browsing, I think it is strange and kind of a let down when a couple doesn't advertise themselves properly. If all you have is a close up of a nipple or an ass crack I'll probably send a blind request to see if you have something more telling under your friend folder. Information is key.
Typically when I see a picture that is the "close up nipple pic" or just a dick pic, I will move on. We are attracted to a package (not talking dicks, children, get you minds out of the gutter) and not a single body part. Everyone has something they are attracted to...thick, thin, heavy, small tits, huge tits, morbidly obese, etc. Be honest and flaunt what you have.
On a different note, it is kind of lame if a person/s has plenty of pics and a good profile writeup and someone does a blind request. That just seems like they are looking for free porn. Move on. Another irritation is when people blind request who don't have any pics at all. Come on peeps.
Mr. SRO
I have to say that the profiles with just close ups of their dicks or pussy are definitely unflattering.
Sammie117 wrote:
I have to say that the profiles with just close ups of their dicks or pussy are definitely unflattering.
*Bump*
Saw this thread and wanted to drop some feedback as well; after some time away from the site, we've dove back into the L.S. and have really invested some time in getting to find, meet, and introduce ourselves to new people. The Misses and I are looking for Single Males or Females or a Couples to explore and have some fun with; we have had great conversations with couples (it's easy to spot the ones that are in the L.S. together), but the Single males not so much. I'm not thrilled at the idea of some raunchy dude or MILF hunter greasing over my lady.
Anyway, we all have our preferences, but some advice for the Single guys out there looking to join a married couple, presentation is everything fellas, the least you can do is send a DM and tell us a little about yourselves... sending 10 photos of your member will get you sent straight to the garbage.
It’s a difficult balance and we do a little of both but we don’t do hard core searching. Singles seem to be easier as you only need chemistry with 3 versus 4.
We updated our profile so we're very specific about what we're looking for. It's funny how often people don't take the time to read
We like to message first and show interest. But, of course, if you message us...all fine too!
SOMEWHERENTIME wrote:So agree!
We receive “blind friend requests” all the time and nearly every time we say to ourselves...”okay, now what?”
People! Why send a friend request if you have no intention of communicating? Is it really all about just seeing our private pics? Or is it your way of getting us to look at your profile? If that’s the case, please make sure you read our profile and have similar interests & stats. Otherwise, you are simply wasting your and our time!
Good luck to all...
We don't mind the blind friend requests but I know we have friend requested other people because we have enjoyed what they have in their profile but for some reason my phone won't let me send a message from it and by the time I get to a computer (which is pretty much never nowadays) I am doing other things and don't get on the site. So, it's been frustrating when I have wanted
To message someone but I can't 😂😂
To message someone but I can't 😂😂
Not sure why all the blind friend requests? Why send a friend request if you have no intention of communicating? Is it really all about just seeing our private pics? Or is it your way of getting us to look at your profile? If that’s the case, please make sure you read our profile and have similar interests & stats. Otherwise, you are simply wasting your and our time!
FYI...we delete most friend requests. Especially, when it is apparently that body types, stats, what we are looking for is completely different.
Good luck to all...
FYI...we delete most friend requests. Especially, when it is apparently that body types, stats, what we are looking for is completely different.
Good luck to all...
SOMEWHERENTIME wrote:we're in the same boat. So many blind requests. It's lame.
Not sure why all the blind friend requests? Why send a friend request if you have no intention of communicating? Is it really all about just seeing our private pics? Or is it your way of getting us to look at your profile? If that’s the case, please make sure you read our profile and have similar interests & stats. Otherwise, you are simply wasting your and our time!
FYI...we delete most friend requests. Especially, when it is apparently that body types, stats, what we are looking for is completely different.
Good luck to all...
I send out messages. I noticed lately that many couples never open them or they open them and don’t reply at all. Not sure if they’re just not into us or what.sometimes I think a reply that states politely that they’re not interested would be nice. Although life gets busy and I have to admit someone out there probably thinks the same after we missed replying to one too.
We send out messages saying we are interesting in chatting/meeting up and if they are interested to send a friend request. We really try to be low key.
We really like getting messages first.
We really like getting messages first.
squirtierandco wrote:yeah we don't really message first at all lol
We send out messages saying we are interesting in chatting/meeting up and if they are interested to send a friend request. We really try to be low key.
We really like getting messages first.
Blind friend requests suck. We literally get ones with no profile picture and it’s like ......k?
I have teach out many times. It would seem like people do not get into MFM fun here.
We love, love, LOVE to receive messages!
DE2OFUS wrote:a lot of people are picky, us included. I don't think that's just being snooty or thinking we're better than anyone. We just don't want to waste our time or anyone else's. Thanks for the funny response though. Now we have a fun thing to say I the bedroom. "Ah yeah, gimme some more of that unobtanium!"
Even when you do send a message along with a request, some people just think that their particular brand of pussy / cock is a level above everyone else's and they will either ignore the friend request or accept it, and then "unfriend" you before you get the opportunity to see the remainder of their photos. It is what I have come to call, "unobtainium". For some reason, a majority of the newer people on this site believe their bodies to be made from unobtainium...and you can't get it.
Don't get discouraged by it, just chalk it up to their over-inflated sense of self worth...
As for us, request away. We don't mind sharing photos before setting up a play date.
Mr. De2ofus
We hear it you have some dickronite you can weaken the unobtanium.
We struggle with this too. We are new, no experience, not 10s and no time either. We want to get to know people and possibly meet, but we also don't want them to think we are leading them on or just wanting pics.
Seems like we message first most of the time. We try and stay in our age group unless its a really a hot couple and we just want to compliment them. On this site we get good response probably because couples our age have the experience to say yea why not or no thanks. Either way it not of any consequence to us if they dont respond. We rarely approve blind friendship request unless we might be interested in meeting. We also realize there are a lot of folks that want to perv on pics and thats ok.
Having been in sales during my working career just makes me somewhat impervious to non responders or flat out not interested. However once we get our clothes off then it can be a different matter. Nobody likes a tease unless you knew what you were gonna get and wanted to participate in it.
Having been in sales during my working career just makes me somewhat impervious to non responders or flat out not interested. However once we get our clothes off then it can be a different matter. Nobody likes a tease unless you knew what you were gonna get and wanted to participate in it.
I can understand the hesitance to actually send a message when there is a chance you’ll get nothing in return. That can be frustrating. Dating is weird. finding a couple with mutual interest (whatever your LS flavor) is even weirder and exponentially more difficult to find.
We have messaged quite a few times and very rarely get a response, is it because there isn't many people on or is it because of how we message or what?
It's because people generally suck balls. We still message... it's not that difficult. What have you got to lose?
It's only polite to respond even there is no interest.
We get a ton of friend request we reply with let’s meet for drinks then nothing or ok who pulls the trigger we all know why we are here nothing will happen if you don’t do something we just don’t always want to be the trigger pullers blind friend request ussaly just get overlooked anyway
COUPLE40 wrote:We hate when we accept a friend request and then nothing. Be polite and always respond. We are fine saying sorry not the right fit. And we don’t like a lot of messaging and would prefer to just meet up.
We get a ton of friend request we reply with let’s meet for drinks then nothing or ok who pulls the trigger we all know why we are here nothing will happen if you don’t do something we just don’t always want to be the trigger pullers blind friend request ussaly just get overlooked anyway
Utahldscouple wrote:COUPLE40 wrote:We hate when we accept a friend request and then nothing. Be polite and always respond. We are fine saying sorry not the right fit. And we don’t like a lot of messaging and would prefer to just meet up.
We get a ton of friend request we reply with let’s meet for drinks then nothing or ok who pulls the trigger we all know why we are here nothing will happen if you don’t do something we just don’t always want to be the trigger pullers blind friend request ussaly just get overlooked anyway
It's annoying when you're chatting and exchange Kik info and then it doesn't go anywhere.
I never send a blind friend request without a message first explaining who I am and what I am looking for. Just seems disrespectful to ask to be a friend, and see someone's more intimate picture without an introduction first. Jay 
Hi
We send out some, receive some. Never seems to move pass the "we should meet" stage. Our profile is very upfront about us, what we are looking for and how we play. Seems like pic hunters to us. Maybe not?
My thing is I feel like a kid inna candy store. If I see something that is shiny and tastes yummy im going after it.
that was a good question I read everyone's comments and seen a lot of good ones we haven't been on here that long but we get a lot of blind friends request from single guys Wich we feel like they want to see are private pics and vids were looking for other couples not single guys not saying that we don't do gang bangs but we'll post it when we want that and it's very flustering when a couple messages you once or twice then nothing maybe it's because we smoke which I've noticed most don't
Utahldscouple wrote:This is my favorite comment probably ever.
We hear it you have some dickronite you can weaken the unobtanium.
We usually thank anyone and everyone for, popping in on us. Some respond and some don’t, it’s like a middle school dance, if you don’t ask anyone you won’t “dance”!
We used to reach out a lot. Not so much any more. We try to respond to the messages we receive. Honestly, haven’t had much luck on this site - but we enjoy reading all the forum posts. Our LS friends have mostly come from people we meet at Desire. Those have been great friendships where we are able to get past all the ‘two dogs sniffing each other’ phase while we are at the resort - leads to a longer lasting friendship with no awkward meetings.
yes, please message us and for you submissive, message us now good girl/boy lol
We're fairly new to the site, but have done both - mainly new messages to ppl, which is a bit hard for us as we're both introverts. *sigh* So we often have a tendency to wait for someone to make the move. Some of the more responsive connections have been through contacting ppl that post because we see common interest in what they're saying and then read their profile and go from there with a message. They're putting themselves out there, so they're more likely to be responsive, and that allows us to see what they're interest might be in us if they respond back. We've also made wonderful connections at events, which helps to speed things up since it's face-to-face interaction from the get go, which is nice. We agree with what others have said, it sucks to get a friend request with no message. At first, we thought this was how ppl were supposed to connect with others, but quickly realized it's kinda pointless if you're looking for real interest and progression.
There’s two sides to this:
The friend request is the first initiation and the requester feels like the other one should chat first once they approve.
However the way I see it is that once you approve someone you wait to hear from them, also both parties can see the private photos and see if there is still interest.
Lot of misleading public photos out there.
The friend request is the first initiation and the requester feels like the other one should chat first once they approve.
However the way I see it is that once you approve someone you wait to hear from them, also both parties can see the private photos and see if there is still interest.
Lot of misleading public photos out there.
Wait to be messaged, but it is a great questioned. Wish the search function was just a bit more versatile to make it perfect to find and message first but we should probably just invest the time and message first. Probably a lot of others out there we may be missing.
Both, and why wouldn't you? Everyone is flattered to have caught someone's eye. Assuming you paid for your membership and actually invested some time in your profile and photos, it's what you hoped for right? However, sitting back waiting for the offers to roll in so you can simply reserve the right to refuse seems egocentric. It also isn't likely to get you what you want. Nothing wrong with asking for what you want in this world.
The search feature on some sites is crap compared to this one. We like to search together and send out a message or two periodically. We're busy too, but like to give a reply the attention it deserves. We don't lead with a friend request and they're never blind. We'll search again later, especially if what we're looking for changes.
If you're waiting without a very good reason, then it's probably in vain. Others have moved on.
The search feature on some sites is crap compared to this one. We like to search together and send out a message or two periodically. We're busy too, but like to give a reply the attention it deserves. We don't lead with a friend request and they're never blind. We'll search again later, especially if what we're looking for changes.
If you're waiting without a very good reason, then it's probably in vain. Others have moved on.
If we all waited for a message then no messaging would take place.
Pretty simple.
Pretty simple.
My low confidence makes it so difficult for me to send the first message.. so I just wait it out... and it works out very WELL that way.
My wife and I are as fresh as you get to the scene and lifestyle. We want to try new things and not go to fast. Any recommendations on first steps to take?
We will message ya'll.how are y'all this evening?
Hello
Hello
We are in the same boat, super happy in our marriage just want to try this out and see what happens
Readyforfun2020 wrote:Good thing you set your profile up at a single female. Had you did it the other way you wouldn’t get any responses and there is no changing it 😀!
We are in the same boat, super happy in our marriage just want to try this out and see what happens
Hi
Wish folks like you lived in my area and had the attitude you did. No one seems to even be interested in someone my age.
I've sent out a few messages with no response maybe it's my profile I don't know. Of course I haven't been on here very long and there doesn't seem to be many folks in the Boise Idaho area.
I've also read that a lot of the single women on here are fake so maybe they believe I am also.
I've sent out a few messages with no response maybe it's my profile I don't know. Of course I haven't been on here very long and there doesn't seem to be many folks in the Boise Idaho area.
I've also read that a lot of the single women on here are fake so maybe they believe I am also.
Wish folks like you lived in my area and had the attitude you did. No one seems to even be interested in someone my age.
I've sent out a few messages with no response maybe it's my profile I don't know. Of course I haven't been on here very long and there doesn't seem to be many folks in the Boise Idaho area.
I've also read that a lot of the single women on here are fake so maybe they believe I am also.
I've sent out a few messages with no response maybe it's my profile I don't know. Of course I haven't been on here very long and there doesn't seem to be many folks in the Boise Idaho area.
I've also read that a lot of the single women on here are fake so maybe they believe I am also.
Larae wrote:
Wish folks like you lived in my area and had the attitude you did. No one seems to even be interested in someone my age.
I've sent out a few messages with no response maybe it's my profile I don't know. Of course I haven't been on here very long and there doesn't seem to be many folks in the Boise Idaho area.
I've also read that a lot of the single women on here are fake so maybe they believe I am also.
Perhaps if you could venture a little further afield, you might get more action. There are a lot of men and couples (ourselves included) who find your profile attractive, but distance is an issue. Next time I am out your way, I would love an opportunity to look you up, if you are open to a visitor from afar.
Agreed. It's about mutual attraction upon looking at a profile and wanting to reach out. I just wish if people send friend requests that they say something because of course we'll reach out and give it a couple of days and think...what was the point of that if all they meant to do was send the request.
I try and maintain a balance between messaging first or not.
Utahldscouple wrote:
Good thing you set your profile up at a single female. Had you did it the other way you wouldn’t get any responses and there is no changing it 😀!
lol so did not mean to set it up as single female... o emailed CS and they still haven’t changed it to couple 🤷🏽♀️
Good to know Sunrise, thank you for the input and if you are this way let me know.
Readyforfun2020 wrote:We know that’s why it’s at least a good thing you set it up as a single female. Otherwise you will have to wait for over a year! At least this way you won’t be ignored 😀!Utahldscouple wrote:
Good thing you set your profile up at a single female. Had you did it the other way you wouldn’t get any responses and there is no changing it 😀!
lol so did not mean to set it up as single female... o emailed CS and they still haven’t changed it to couple 🤷🏽♀️