Ok here goes... I started in this lifestyle about 4 years ago, and over that time I have seen and learned alot about people, made some great friends and had some wonderful times. I've seen the dramas,the comings and goings,and almost everything this lifestyle has going for and againt it. And through it all I've watched the steady quest to find people we are compatible with. I've done the 1 on 1,FMF,MFM,4somes,moresomes,house parties and public venue gatherings. It's deffinatly not for the shy or faint of heart and above all else requires a level of honesty that alot are not willing to express openly or otherwise. If someone contacts you and you are not interested, Tell them! If you want to get to know them first, then tell them and follow through! We're all grown ups here( at least I hope we all are..lol) and I see so much high school type behavior wheather it be cliquishness ,agism, or what ever,it's all not neccessary. But honesty is. Honesty to yourself, your partner(if you have one) and to those you chose to play with. Or how many good folks have you missed out on because you based your interest purely on a Photo or couple of lines or paragraphs on a profile? I personaly have been sumerily dismissed just for the mear fact I'm a single male(dorky looking though I may be) on too many occassions to count even though I have absolutely no intention or desire to cause anyone,singles or couples any conflict. To me this lifestyle is about fulfilling fantasies and desires what ever they may be and we all have our own personal paramiters that should be respected by all. So everyone be honest. play well.and enjoy. meanwhile my quest will continue.
Well said, brother...This lifestyle is what you make of it, and some make more than others.
While we are all grownups on this site (obviously, you have to be 18 or over to sign on), you'd think there would be less of a high-school mentatlity than in, say....high school? yet, we get some of the DORKIEST , misspelled emails I've ever seen.
Couple that with the responses we've gotten to some posts (like the one critisizing us for getting our vip status), and we wonder how some have remembered to breathe long enough to pass high school.
So, here are some very basic tips on enjoying this lifestyle:
(not that I'm an expert, but obviously some need etiquette lessons)
1) The first email / chat with someone, DON"T ask idiotic questions. And don't get TOO personal. Remember, this is like dating. If a woman at a bar showed some interest, would the next thing out of your mouth be 'What size is your bra?', or 'Do you like it in the ass?'. it's no wonder some of you are in this lifestyle, you'd never get laid otherwise.
2) Keep SOCIAL meetings SOCIAL. No one cares how long you've been a proctologist, or how much money your kids have stole from you. That's YOUR business. Polite conversation is one thing, but there's nothing worse than hearing a 3 hour lecture on YOUR life experiences, followed by 'So, would you guys like to play with us?'
Yeah, as if
3) There ARE other things besides sex to chat about. In person or on the computer. That's right, SWINGERS HAVE BRAINS. and we're very able to carry on converstaion (well, some of us anyway) We were at a party once, and my other half said 'I've heard sex mentioned until I'm not turned on at the thought anymore' ...it happens, just a tip
4) Unless you're planning a very long trip, or own your own private jet, don't add someone to your friend's list here OR on yahoo that lives 3,000 miles away. Let's face it, we'll never meet. Hell, we'll probably never even talk. so what's the point? Air sex? gimme a break.
5) And probably the most important. From the first meeting, to every visit you have (if someone's lucky enough to invite you back, RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE!. Just because we have a wild orgy at the pool of a local motel with wild monkeys and lots of cool whip, it DOES NOT MEAN TO GROPE US EVERYTIME YOU SEE US. We're in couples for a reason, to be in a couple. And just because we're turned on by you, or have sex, doesn't mean you own our bodies afterward. That's what your spouse/gf/bf is for. And most of us aren't here for love. NEWSFLASH...WE'RE HERE FOR SEX!
These are just off the top of my head, after recieving some horrible emails, and experiencing some terrible meetings.
Oh, yeah, and in response to the post, most single guys DO get a hard time in the lifestyle. But good, they should. This is about the couples, single guys are VERY easy to come by.
And those who have treated us with RESPECT have been treated EXCEPTIONALLY WELL. Bravo on a great post, and good luck to you sir!
Him
p.s. anything I missed? list it below!
While we are all grownups on this site (obviously, you have to be 18 or over to sign on), you'd think there would be less of a high-school mentatlity than in, say....high school? yet, we get some of the DORKIEST , misspelled emails I've ever seen.
Couple that with the responses we've gotten to some posts (like the one critisizing us for getting our vip status), and we wonder how some have remembered to breathe long enough to pass high school.
So, here are some very basic tips on enjoying this lifestyle:
(not that I'm an expert, but obviously some need etiquette lessons)
1) The first email / chat with someone, DON"T ask idiotic questions. And don't get TOO personal. Remember, this is like dating. If a woman at a bar showed some interest, would the next thing out of your mouth be 'What size is your bra?', or 'Do you like it in the ass?'. it's no wonder some of you are in this lifestyle, you'd never get laid otherwise.
2) Keep SOCIAL meetings SOCIAL. No one cares how long you've been a proctologist, or how much money your kids have stole from you. That's YOUR business. Polite conversation is one thing, but there's nothing worse than hearing a 3 hour lecture on YOUR life experiences, followed by 'So, would you guys like to play with us?'
Yeah, as if
3) There ARE other things besides sex to chat about. In person or on the computer. That's right, SWINGERS HAVE BRAINS. and we're very able to carry on converstaion (well, some of us anyway) We were at a party once, and my other half said 'I've heard sex mentioned until I'm not turned on at the thought anymore' ...it happens, just a tip
4) Unless you're planning a very long trip, or own your own private jet, don't add someone to your friend's list here OR on yahoo that lives 3,000 miles away. Let's face it, we'll never meet. Hell, we'll probably never even talk. so what's the point? Air sex? gimme a break.
5) And probably the most important. From the first meeting, to every visit you have (if someone's lucky enough to invite you back, RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE!. Just because we have a wild orgy at the pool of a local motel with wild monkeys and lots of cool whip, it DOES NOT MEAN TO GROPE US EVERYTIME YOU SEE US. We're in couples for a reason, to be in a couple. And just because we're turned on by you, or have sex, doesn't mean you own our bodies afterward. That's what your spouse/gf/bf is for. And most of us aren't here for love. NEWSFLASH...WE'RE HERE FOR SEX!
These are just off the top of my head, after recieving some horrible emails, and experiencing some terrible meetings.
Oh, yeah, and in response to the post, most single guys DO get a hard time in the lifestyle. But good, they should. This is about the couples, single guys are VERY easy to come by.
And those who have treated us with RESPECT have been treated EXCEPTIONALLY WELL. Bravo on a great post, and good luck to you sir!
Him
p.s. anything I missed? list it below!
Etiquette is one thing but I think that the nail is hit squarely with the idea that many will judge a possible meeting with the profile and pics instead of having the bravery of making contact on a different time and space. Having good friends and contacts is worth gold. Have the respect to know that those who bother to contact you are sincere and not just teasing or prompting a backlash. Love thy neighbor. -Rick