Why is it that most people don't answer their mail? We have mailed a lot of couples on the site and haven't had many responses from most of the people. Is it too hard to just say NO ... If your not interested in us? Were adults here, and can handle an " WERE NOT INTERESTED" or something along that line, but not to answer or say anything .... to me is just wrong. I know were not the best looking couple on the site , but we are a lot of fun and very easy to get along with, if people would just give us a chance. Well anyway...... all were asking for is a simple NO thank you
We love the site and we'll keep trying... I just hope from now on if we mail you. nad your not interested ...please let us know with a answer...
thanks
George & Tiffany
We love the site and we'll keep trying... I just hope from now on if we mail you. nad your not interested ...please let us know with a answer...
thanks
George & Tiffany
We definitely agree. It's not too hard to tell someone that your not interested. Most people will be fine with that and go on with their business. That's why we created the standard 'No Thank You' message so that it's easier for you to tell someone no thanks.
For real. Cmon people. Tiffany is hot. How can you not have an appetite for her? Answer them back! Don't BE SHY!!! I am sure George is a great guy and he is not going to bite you. At least in any way you won't like. Were a family here, it's ok to say no. But yes is much more fun!
Greg.
Greg.
I have to agree that, at first glance, not getting a reply to email can be seen as rude. There are things to keep in mind, though....
I have signed up on at least one site and found it to be pretty much a waste of time, and never went back. One day, out of curiosity, I signed on and found that I had a few emails from months back that people had sent. I replied and apologized about not getting back to them earlier.
That's just an example, I'm sure that there are other reasons why a reply wouldn't come, and one of them is just being rude. For those people, a horsewhip is the answer.
I have signed up on at least one site and found it to be pretty much a waste of time, and never went back. One day, out of curiosity, I signed on and found that I had a few emails from months back that people had sent. I replied and apologized about not getting back to them earlier.
That's just an example, I'm sure that there are other reasons why a reply wouldn't come, and one of them is just being rude. For those people, a horsewhip is the answer.
You can check to see if someone has read your email by going to your sent items box. It will tell you if the message has been read or not. This is one way to figure out if you should move along.
Hi there. Just joined and thought we would add our thoughts about replying to messages. We have been members of other lifestyle sites and found it very discouraging to get no responses when we first started out. As time has gone by it isn't so much discouraging as disrespectful. We always reply to others, positive or negative, just to let them know we were at least interested enough to read their thoughts. Sometimes, just the act of replying to our queries has made the difference in continuing contact with other members. Just like my momma used to say, you write, they'll write back!
Oh you'll love this one. LOL As for us, well the hubby loves to get online and check out all the cool sites. He'll see e-mail and open it. However, he wouldn't have a clue how to reply to it (or should we say he doesn't want to LOL). He is into picutre looking more than anything. He doesn't know what happens to those e-mails we get that he opens. Therefore, I may find it months later in another folder and realize we hadn't even replied to it. LOL Oh well, that's what we get for sharing names in all the sites 
LOL. Ya'll have fun.
LOL. Ya'll have fun.It's hard to believe people would not answer you back!
It's not just a problem on this site. It happens on the sites like this one. We have sent out over 100 letters in one 30 day period, all we got back was one letter
I can't speak for all areas but I believe most of the people in our area are fakes :$: Well life goes on. Happy hunting 
I can't speak for all areas but I believe most of the people in our area are fakes :$: Well life goes on. Happy hunting We put a standard, "please reply either way" and still only get 1 to 2 for every 100 we send out. Then when we send a follow up e-mail saying "haven't heard from you yet" as a reminder still nothing.. I mean these sites are like a bar in which you find someone attractive and give it a shot, but at least at a bar you get some sort of response back.. This problem also leaves a sinking feeling that most of the people on these sites are either picture collectors or just plain fakes!!
That is the biggest pet peve I have in the whole swinger website thing. When you see a couple you may beinterested in you take your time to write a nice proper note to them and than not get any response it kind of shoots you down. I dont care if they just write to say "No Thanks" just have some common courtesy to write something back. Im sorry this is happening to you but trust me if you wrote us you would Deffinatley be getting letter after letter back!!
XoXOXOX
XoXOXOX
We can relate to the frustrations of YNGNJCOUPLE in getting responses for messages. We must admit that they are more persistant than we are in making contact. We don't send follow-up messages because we feel if there was no response to the first, why waste time and effort. It kinda lets you know what kind of relationship those individuals would bring. It also might others feel you might be "pushy" or too aggressive by repeatedly messaging them. Our feeling is it is their loss
First we wait for others to email us most of the time and no matter the interest level we always respond politely. We think it is a bit rude not to get an answer from someone truly interested in you...sometimes it is better because you find out the type of people they are on the NO answer...so maybe you saved time...LOL
I guess we are kind of guilty about the whole not reply thing. We make sure to give replies back either way if someone took the time to write us an actual email or message, but we just send the generic or pre-made letters straight to the trash can. So basically with us, you get the same time and consideration in regards to a reply as was put into the initial message.
Couldn't agree more. I think it is jst plain rude not to respond. Doesn't take much just to say no thanks or OK
Now if it is a single male with a dick pic first we will NOT respond, rather delete and block if that is all the the guy thinks he is worth...LOL
I agree a simple reply of no or not interested would be fine. I think that the people who can't reply are not being honest or are not actually secure wih this lifestyle. Jo
i know. Whay is up with that? We take the time to write them and they don't take the time to write back just to say "no tanks."
We agree with DESTINFLCPL as to the dick pics. There is already a penis in this relationship and we're not impressed by the fact that someone else has one, too. Nothing against single guys as a rule, just not interested in playing with one. Let them find a lady friend, them message us. Besides, if they would take the time to read our profile they would see that we are not interested in meeting single guys. Just because you're single doesn't mean you can't read.
I just posted the same thing almost. definetly check ours out too. but I beleive i have a answer that goes. We believe the guys wants the lifestyle and the girl has not a freakin clue so he wants to just get off on the thought it could happen so they are fake as a wedding cake kisses to ya if your ever in the ftmyers area look us up trebang
kisses
kisses
We have the same experience in The Netherlands. Think its a worldwide item. Shouldn't be so, as we are all swingers (hope so), a respectfull bunch of people!
Since being a member of this site, one week now, all our emails to other couples were replied. For us a great experience! And if we get no reply, we simply send an email why.
That helps!!!
That helps!!!
If you think you have trouble getting someone to answer your mail as a couple, try being a single male. When I put together a nicely written, well educated, intelligent email to a female or couple to inquire about their desires towards a single man, it would be nice to have an even 1 % return rate for the effort. As a gentleman, it gets frustrating to be kind and sincere in placing your heartfelt thoughts into the hands of couples of singles who have in their profile "single men". Not all single men are just looking to "score". Some are into a group scene, or enjoy the pleasures of sharing with a couple or single female. This site is not alone in its trouble in this regard. I've been a paid member of several sites both single and swinger and have found over time that the few emails have ever been replied to. I've always been polite, honest, and tactful yet the majority of my fulfillment in the areas described has come from my own daily journeys through life. No sour grapes here, just a perceptive inquiry. Enjoy!
We agree......alot of fakes and flakes on this site and all the rest. Its to bad people have to act like kids on an adult site. We have the same problem on all the sites we are members. If a couple like you wrote us we would write back in a heart beat. You are what we are looking for . And some day when people grow up or just get tired of playing games and move on, we will find someone or ones.
. And some day when people grow up or just get tired of playing games and move on, we will find someone or ones.It is simple common courtsey to write someone back to say either GREAT lets chat or thanks for the interest but we aren't interested. You cannot begin to explain the irritation when you take the time to compose a sincere honest letter to a couple and wait for some sort of response. We are not looking for single men but if one does write I personally *becky* take the time to compose a letter back telling him thanks but not what we are looking for nothing personal against the guy just not our cup of tea. Sometimes I think ppl tend to forget everyone has feelings and a no is alot better than nothing in response. Of course this is just MHO *my humble opion*
Becky
Becky
We agree, that one should answer there email. The hand little links at the bottom of the page make it super easy to say no, if that is what you want to say. I think we have all probably experienced this firsthand if you have been a member of a swinger site for any amount of time. But, if the cpl or person wont write you back, maybe it is a good thing, you probably wouldnt like their personality anyway.
I have sampled several websites and found the same problem. I think that when ppl get frustrated with a certain site, they stop using it so they may not even know that you have sent them any email. I prefer sites that will alert you via your everyday email that you have new mail so that you know even without checking everysite that you belong to on a daily basis.
Interesting thread. We don't usually send letters out first, but we've never intentionally not replied to an email. Since I handle all the email, I have to admit that there have been times where I'll check emails on one of our couples accounts when I can't reply (say, from work or late at night) and completely forgotten about it. Even if it's a while later, if I realize it I'll send a reply out of courtesy. I guess some people feel that if the situation isn't perfect (whether it's looks, interests, whatever), it's easy to just become invisible. Seems odd to me, but we don't take it personally... well, most of the time LOL.
Well we have to agree with the majority that it can be quite rude if someone doesnt respond. But....Darla made a great point, alot of poeple dont get on to the site that often to check mail as much as others. We defintiely fall into that catagory at times, its hard not to get caught upin day to day life. So although it may seem rude and intentional its not, just that people dont sign on. I dont know about others but I dont get email notification when I get new mail or I would log in and try to respond. But if you have seen that someone has read your mail and has been a long time with no response, either a lets talk more or a no thanks, we definitely think its rude.....
A response is always nice. I don't know about this site, but I do know that other sites if you don't have a paid membership they will not allow you to respond to messages. We always try to determine a profiles membership status sending them a message the ones that have an expired account might or might not be about to read or respond to messages.
From what I have read on this site it will allow you to see if your message has been read. Does anyone know if it will allow you two know if the message has been deleted?
From what I have read on this site it will allow you to see if your message has been read. Does anyone know if it will allow you two know if the message has been deleted?
Administrators, we agree that you need to be honest and tell someone if you're not interested. However, we think that you guys know very well that sometimes you're very busy or not able to get online for a while so things can certainly go unanswered for a while. So people shouldn't take offense if it takes a little while to get a response from someone you might be talking to.
We certainly understand that and hope we hear back more often from the Administrators!!
We certainly understand that and hope we hear back more often from the Administrators!!
And its not only happening in the USA, but here in Europe too. We experienced several unreplied emails. In our small country we sometimes think; Hey, they know us from something else and are afraid to tell they swingers too!
Bea and Alex
Bea and Alex
Hello there... I saw your post and wanted to add my 2 cents if i may... This system has that "blow a kiss" thing which I believe some people confuse with sending mail. We get tons of messages from people blowing kisses... to us, that is not emailing... If that's everyone's idea of contacting other members, then I would suggest you follow up with a short note to the people to introduce yourselves. After all, you wouldn't walk around town kissing people you don't know and then just walking away without even saying hello, would you? We rarely reply to a blown kiss without any other form of contact.
Is anyone else seeing this pattern here?
Ry and T
Is anyone else seeing this pattern here?
Ry and T
Too many people are into JUDGING people by a simple pic and or word or two in a profile OK if thats how they want to do it fine but at LEAST have the common curtosey to send a No thanks what we do if they live too far away we tell them to give us a shout when they come this way if they live close by we say lets meet over a cup of coffee.
N&S
N&S
That is a big problem sometimes. It is not hard to reply back saying no thanks. We had a couple blow us a kiss and when we replied to that we didn't hear from them. On another site they say someone likes you well when you reply to them you get nothing back from them. If you aren't interested or aren't going to reply don't blow someone a kiss or anything like that it is just not polite. If we aren't interested we let the people know. Well i should say he lets them know cuz he is on here more than i am. It is a rare thing for me to be on here. :h
We try to reply to all actual e-mails. However, that is a recent development on this site.
We were in a similar situation Darla mentioned. We didn't even know we were members of THIS site until we received an e-mail from a friend 2 weeks ago telling us to sign up on Swingular to take advantage of the lifetime membership offer.
So we tried to start a NEW membership and were disappointed to find that our profile "handle" was taken, especially since it's the same handle we have on other sites (where we answer e-mails fairly quickly).
After changing our profile name, I was quite surprised to find that the e-mail address we gave was already in use! So then I figured it out and signed in as an existing customer using our standard handle and PW.
Lo and behold we were already members AND HAD BEEN SINCE MARCH!! Admin eventually explained the history of a split with a previous web site where all the existing customers were automatically set up on two different sites. We knew about the other site but didn't know about this one, for some reason.
So, we had mail going back for months that we never had even known of its existance. And some hot ones, I tell ya. Damn, we missed out on some good action! We tried to answer most of them but I'm sure our excuse sounded kinda lame.
So, normally we answer actual e-mails (NOT those silly "kisses") quickly.
Also, I don't know how many others are on this site and they don't even know it. Might be good for Admin to send a bulk e-mail to ALL and remind them they are missing out...
We were in a similar situation Darla mentioned. We didn't even know we were members of THIS site until we received an e-mail from a friend 2 weeks ago telling us to sign up on Swingular to take advantage of the lifetime membership offer.
So we tried to start a NEW membership and were disappointed to find that our profile "handle" was taken, especially since it's the same handle we have on other sites (where we answer e-mails fairly quickly).
After changing our profile name, I was quite surprised to find that the e-mail address we gave was already in use! So then I figured it out and signed in as an existing customer using our standard handle and PW.
Lo and behold we were already members AND HAD BEEN SINCE MARCH!! Admin eventually explained the history of a split with a previous web site where all the existing customers were automatically set up on two different sites. We knew about the other site but didn't know about this one, for some reason.
So, we had mail going back for months that we never had even known of its existance. And some hot ones, I tell ya. Damn, we missed out on some good action! We tried to answer most of them but I'm sure our excuse sounded kinda lame.
So, normally we answer actual e-mails (NOT those silly "kisses") quickly.
Also, I don't know how many others are on this site and they don't even know it. Might be good for Admin to send a bulk e-mail to ALL and remind them they are missing out...
some people are probably not comfortable and feel they will hurt others feelings. sometimes people do get pissed about rejection. we once chatted with someone on yahoo and when they finally sent pics we were not interested and they went off on us wasting their time. but in reality they were really wasting our time by not sending pics sooner.
We say its only common courtesy to answer all BUT if you are simply blowing a kiss thats all you willget back from us. People would also save a whole lot of time by just messaging cpls who live a reasonable distance from you unless you plan to travel in that area sometime in the not too distant future. Nothing worse than seeing you got mail and reading this grerat letter only to find out this great cpl is half way across the U.S.! So if you live within a couple hundred miles from Pensacola FL. contact us even if you live far away we will answer just don't expect to meet us anytime soon if you live more than a couple hundred of miles away. If your looking for CAM FUN please bypass us we do it for real or not at all LOL.
Norm&Sharon
Norm&Sharon
its not only their e-mail but there seems to be a problem of replying to an I.M that your sure they have received while on line, and yes, the I.M. was in regards to their "what we are looking for"....
Sad, is it to much trouble to just say "not interested" or we are busy, ? Is not replying some kind of hidden statement?
shame shame on you "non-replyers"..... lol
Sad, is it to much trouble to just say "not interested" or we are busy, ? Is not replying some kind of hidden statement?
shame shame on you "non-replyers"..... lol
It's not all on the people that don't answer.
Some aren't full members and can't answer. Also, some of the people that send email can't read the profile, especially when it would say something like: "No couples", or "Not looking for anyone outside my area" and also say, "I will not respond."
Also, I never mind getting a nice email from somone that say they enjoy my pic and profile, and always try to respind with at least a thanks. But I lost count of how many times I've gotten just plain rude emails that say they have an allegedly big cock or just what I need or that I nee dto pack up and travle 2000 miles right there and then...
It's a two way street, people.
Some aren't full members and can't answer. Also, some of the people that send email can't read the profile, especially when it would say something like: "No couples", or "Not looking for anyone outside my area" and also say, "I will not respond."
Also, I never mind getting a nice email from somone that say they enjoy my pic and profile, and always try to respind with at least a thanks. But I lost count of how many times I've gotten just plain rude emails that say they have an allegedly big cock or just what I need or that I nee dto pack up and travle 2000 miles right there and then...
It's a two way street, people.
Can't understand why some don't answer either. We answer every mail we get, and oft times, answer the blown kisses. It's not that difficult, even if it's a "no thanks", knowhatImean?
A&J
A&J
i personaly feel even if it is a canned message at least reply the person might not be that good at thinking of something to write at that very moment but if there next letter is canned can them but just my .02 cents
We would have to say this realy upsets us.
We do not know about this site sence we just joined.
But another site that we have been on for three months is like this.
We e-mailed 14 people and so fare no one has e-mailed us back.
This is upseting because we are very new to the lifstyle.:v
We do not know about this site sence we just joined.
But another site that we have been on for three months is like this.
We e-mailed 14 people and so fare no one has e-mailed us back.
This is upseting because we are very new to the lifstyle.:v
There is another side to the coin. We have answered from people that are WAY outside our likes. But they don't get it. They someback asking why. Or, worse yet they won't leave it alone, and just keep sending pretty much the same e-mail over and over. One single guy from another site kept sending messages asking us to meet at our house at 7am on Wednesday's. Apperantly it was a time he was free. We said no several time, and finaly just blocked his mail
We usually answer our e-mails, but sometimes we wish we hadn't.
We usually answer our e-mails, but sometimes we wish we hadn't.
We have to echo the last post. We always try to answer all emails, except someone likes you, with a courteous response. We have gotten nasty responses back saying that we were obviously superficial or stuck-up, responses asking us why we were not interested and everything in-between. Now, some have actually written back and thanked us just for replying and that is great.
Why would someone reject you???? Simple...you are trying to get two couples to find each other mutually attractive and that is a tough mix. Maybe it was looks or something you put in your profile...just move on.
We are to the point of considering not replying if we are not interested. A shame when you are polite and others cannot return the kindness.
Why would someone reject you???? Simple...you are trying to get two couples to find each other mutually attractive and that is a tough mix. Maybe it was looks or something you put in your profile...just move on.
We are to the point of considering not replying if we are not interested. A shame when you are polite and others cannot return the kindness.
We answer all email except the "Someone Likes You" "Blow a kiss" kind. If you want to communicate with us, then take some time and send a meaningful introduction. Sometimes it appears that there are a few that just "Blow a kiss" to everyone in their area on a regular basis, just hoping they will get a response. That isn't going to peak our interest enough to even open it.
We have had a few, mostly single guys that have sent us the same cut and paste email 4, 5, and 6 weeks in a row. We do like single guys, but let's be real. Trolling might hook someone eventually, but most will get wise on the second pass. And don't send it to us especially if we are already emailing you. And that has happened to us too.
We have had a few, mostly single guys that have sent us the same cut and paste email 4, 5, and 6 weeks in a row. We do like single guys, but let's be real. Trolling might hook someone eventually, but most will get wise on the second pass. And don't send it to us especially if we are already emailing you. And that has happened to us too.
I have to say that we agree.
It is rude not to send a simple no thanks not intersted, but when someone mails you first and you respond back then they never say anything more to you is just as aggervating. they can send a simple we changed our minds or like you said a simple no thanks
they don't have to go into detail and they don't have to be rude in not being interested.
well just wanted to state our opnion. YOu all take care and be safe.............
It is rude not to send a simple no thanks not intersted, but when someone mails you first and you respond back then they never say anything more to you is just as aggervating. they can send a simple we changed our minds or like you said a simple no thanks
they don't have to go into detail and they don't have to be rude in not being interested.
well just wanted to state our opnion. YOu all take care and be safe.............
Personally, I think that someone who can't take the time to respond has done us a favor.
Let's face it, it takes time to weed through people and find out what's real and what's contrived in their profiles. Someone who doesn't take the 30 seconds to respond has taken all the guesswork out of the searching we might otherwise do. They have summed themselves up for us!!!
If we don't answer a letter, it's because they have gone out of their way to ignore something we've stated in our profile. One prime example is "Single males, don't call us, we'll call you."
A day doesn't go by that we don't get mail from a single male... should we write back to them?
Let's face it, it takes time to weed through people and find out what's real and what's contrived in their profiles. Someone who doesn't take the 30 seconds to respond has taken all the guesswork out of the searching we might otherwise do. They have summed themselves up for us!!!
If we don't answer a letter, it's because they have gone out of their way to ignore something we've stated in our profile. One prime example is "Single males, don't call us, we'll call you."
A day doesn't go by that we don't get mail from a single male... should we write back to them?
The ONLY emails that we will not reply to are the ones that are obviously SPAM or those smallminded individuals who think that being insulting is funny. A simple "thanks, but no thanks" takes no time at all and with the standard letters available as a response, there is NO valid reason not to provide some type of response.
I have to agree. I am a large man, in body size only, sadly to say. I think we have only had 5 - 7 replies from our e-mails we have sent. I know I am not the slimest, trimmest & most hung man out there, & I have been Rejected many times, but I would rather be rejected than Blown totaly off & treated like I don't matter. The way I see it is like this, if you don't atleast answer, then you have no Idea what your missing out on.
I'm a 44 y.o. single black man. When I check people in my area and it says they would like to met single guys I then pull up the profile and read that, just to make sure they really want to meet single guys.
I'll go ahead a send an e-mail and in 3 months I've gotten 4 responses, probably 10-12 were just ignored.
Either you serious about this or your not,if your not then you should delete your profile and keep people from wasting their time.
I'll go ahead a send an e-mail and in 3 months I've gotten 4 responses, probably 10-12 were just ignored.
Either you serious about this or your not,if your not then you should delete your profile and keep people from wasting their time.
Like pretty much everyone else who has posted, we also feel it is rude, unpolite, not to respond to someone's email. We also agree there are some emails that do not deserve a reply either such as those that are rude or nasty, or single guys who email us without reading our profile to see we are not interested.
I will tell you why most people do not respond to email we get too much spam BUT If you are a true lady ond or gentleman you will spend the 30 seconds it takes to send a no thanks. I will tell you I have a very good friend so said no thanks and I responded with a thank you for the no thanks. we are now friends We do not have sex but we do share info and have meet and enjoyed eachother with out sex. It is a wonderful thing. I was the only person to ever say THANK YOU FoR A NO THANKS So politness is always rewarded. And I hope if I am ever not polite I hope some one will call me on it
George
George
I think if someone blows you a kiss you don't need to reply.
I believe you should reply to all messages that someone actually takes time to write.
I believe you should reply to all messages that someone actually takes time to write.
one thing we have noticed here, is there are alot of profiles where the members have joined, set up the profile and NEVER come back to the site, we don't bother with those, as for the others, its just plain ignorant.......only takes a second to type "no thanks". we can assure you all, if you do not recv a reply fairly quickly, either our computer has crashed or we are out of town. when someone doesnt take the time to reply to us, we get the idea that they are under the impression that they are somehow too good for us.......so just as well they remain silent.
Arica & Mark
Arica & Mark
email us....we'll get the party started!
This is a topic that has been bothering me for months, I'm glad someone brought it up.I mean really what does it take to just say No Thanks!!!! I really think it is rude and very disrespectful not to answer at all.... at least if ya get an answer, you wouldnt have to keep sending emails asking if there interested or not.... It really does make it seem like there are alot of fakes or pic collectors out there...and it gets rather discouraging to keep looking.... but honestly who ever didnt respond to you is just stupid.....lol cuz you are beautiful.... well good luck to you in your search... take care all ....Liz
well good luck to you in your search... take care all ....Liz:s wow, this is an old topic that got revived!
I got to agree on this topic. It is seriously rude to not to reply to emails. However, I don't get to this boar often enough and I feel bad that I might be leaving some people hanging. One that I don't get is when someone sends you an email expressing intrest and exchanges another email and then just stops writing. I don't get it. Please everybody. Try to respond.
From the first page of this topic. If DARLA2585 want's to use that horse wip on me, I'm up for it.
I got to agree on this topic. It is seriously rude to not to reply to emails. However, I don't get to this boar often enough and I feel bad that I might be leaving some people hanging. One that I don't get is when someone sends you an email expressing intrest and exchanges another email and then just stops writing. I don't get it. Please everybody. Try to respond.
From the first page of this topic. If DARLA2585 want's to use that horse wip on me, I'm up for it.