Sex Addiction or Enjoyment Compulsive?
Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterised by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts (psychcentral.com). Sex addiction is exploiting others for sex. It’s going through life hurting other people and ultimately being self-destructive.
Sure there are people that fall into this category but from all scientific and researched accounts they form a very small minority – very small.
It is generally thought that a sex addict suffers the disorder because they are never satisfied. This is something I do not necessarily believe, in fact, let me go as far to say, this is a misconception.
A new study from researchers at UCLA reveals that sexual "addiction" may be nothing more than a strong sexual desire. A Compulsion rather than an addiction.
The ‘sex addict’ is in reality a sexual athlete, the goal is always orgasm, sex the constant training regime. The relentless quest for sex is life on the high wire. Everything else is a safety net. Life without sex becomes a treadmill that takes the addict laboriously through one thing after another – waking, working, all the routines of daily life - walking, eating, sleeping, shopping – forever waiting for the next gut-wrenching, heart-stopping moment of orgasmic climax.
A sex addict sees everything through the prism of sex. A stranger across the room is instantly weighed up, judged, measured. Will he - or she - be available, good? Does that twinkle in his eye say he is looking back across the room and measuring you up for a potential sexual pas de Deux? Like the drug addict craving their next fix, the sex addict waits breathlessly for their next orgasm.
Orgasm for most of us being that moment when the body melts and the soul becomes one with the universe. For the addict – just another high or maybe, just another conquest, a notch.
Being a sex addict makes it hard on relationships, as Michael Douglas discovered when he admitted his addiction, upsetting his wife Catherine Zeta-Jones. Tiger Woods, another high-profile sexual athlete with a sad result. But, sadly, or happily, depending on your point of view, it is one addiction that seemingly has no cure ... ... again Tiger Woods.
For most of us, we take sex far too seriously. Sure there is a place for this but sex is also fun, enjoyment, the forbidden happiness we don’t usually allow ourselves to enjoy. We have unfortunately been told from almost day one that sex is something dirty, something to be preserved at all costs until marriage, the forbidden fruit of Adam and Eve.
But we love to have sex. We love to share our sexual exploits. Sex is good, and its healthy, it’s the best.
So what is wrong with that? Nothing in my book – with one caveat, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else and is totally consensual. Sex is not something that is meant to be taken seriously all of the time. Let go of the past – enjoy, have some fun. We are animals born to have sex and not always for breeding. Sex is our birthright.
For me as a man being able to enjoy my partner, treat her/him with respect, knowing how to indulge in my partner’s desires is the ultimate sexual high – with or without orgasm. I am told by my lebensgefahrtin – my life’s fellow traveller, my goddess that there is nothing more feminine than being on her knees giving really good head or taking a man, new or known into one of her moist openings.
And it’s not just women who tell that feeling desired is a great confidence builder and that most reported enjoying being seduced and desired. This goes for men as well. History has placed the male partner as the hunter. Today that is both historical and hysterical. It’s all about everyone. It should be all about your partner. It’s about enjoyment, fun and above all making each participant happy.
It’s not sex compulsion – rather enjoyment compulsion!
©JM 2016
Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterised by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts (psychcentral.com). Sex addiction is exploiting others for sex. It’s going through life hurting other people and ultimately being self-destructive.
Sure there are people that fall into this category but from all scientific and researched accounts they form a very small minority – very small.
It is generally thought that a sex addict suffers the disorder because they are never satisfied. This is something I do not necessarily believe, in fact, let me go as far to say, this is a misconception.
A new study from researchers at UCLA reveals that sexual "addiction" may be nothing more than a strong sexual desire. A Compulsion rather than an addiction.
The ‘sex addict’ is in reality a sexual athlete, the goal is always orgasm, sex the constant training regime. The relentless quest for sex is life on the high wire. Everything else is a safety net. Life without sex becomes a treadmill that takes the addict laboriously through one thing after another – waking, working, all the routines of daily life - walking, eating, sleeping, shopping – forever waiting for the next gut-wrenching, heart-stopping moment of orgasmic climax.
A sex addict sees everything through the prism of sex. A stranger across the room is instantly weighed up, judged, measured. Will he - or she - be available, good? Does that twinkle in his eye say he is looking back across the room and measuring you up for a potential sexual pas de Deux? Like the drug addict craving their next fix, the sex addict waits breathlessly for their next orgasm.
Orgasm for most of us being that moment when the body melts and the soul becomes one with the universe. For the addict – just another high or maybe, just another conquest, a notch.
Being a sex addict makes it hard on relationships, as Michael Douglas discovered when he admitted his addiction, upsetting his wife Catherine Zeta-Jones. Tiger Woods, another high-profile sexual athlete with a sad result. But, sadly, or happily, depending on your point of view, it is one addiction that seemingly has no cure ... ... again Tiger Woods.
For most of us, we take sex far too seriously. Sure there is a place for this but sex is also fun, enjoyment, the forbidden happiness we don’t usually allow ourselves to enjoy. We have unfortunately been told from almost day one that sex is something dirty, something to be preserved at all costs until marriage, the forbidden fruit of Adam and Eve.
But we love to have sex. We love to share our sexual exploits. Sex is good, and its healthy, it’s the best.
So what is wrong with that? Nothing in my book – with one caveat, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else and is totally consensual. Sex is not something that is meant to be taken seriously all of the time. Let go of the past – enjoy, have some fun. We are animals born to have sex and not always for breeding. Sex is our birthright.
For me as a man being able to enjoy my partner, treat her/him with respect, knowing how to indulge in my partner’s desires is the ultimate sexual high – with or without orgasm. I am told by my lebensgefahrtin – my life’s fellow traveller, my goddess that there is nothing more feminine than being on her knees giving really good head or taking a man, new or known into one of her moist openings.
And it’s not just women who tell that feeling desired is a great confidence builder and that most reported enjoying being seduced and desired. This goes for men as well. History has placed the male partner as the hunter. Today that is both historical and hysterical. It’s all about everyone. It should be all about your partner. It’s about enjoyment, fun and above all making each participant happy.
It’s not sex compulsion – rather enjoyment compulsion!
©JM 2016