Mr here. So, the party that we went to before Halloween was a good party. It seemed much like another orgy that I participated in a few years ago, except this time I had Ms. Honeybunny with me 
That made me a little more aware of how people were interacting with each other, and I have a few questions about etiquette in those situations.
Obviously, protection is important for a number of reasons, and pretty much everybody there was using condoms, cleaning toys after use, etc.
However, one thing that I did not notice anybody using was dental dams or any kind of protection for oral sex. In a world where 70% of Americans have some form of herpes, for example, how do you deal with the risk of contracting it if you don't? Or what if you have other STDs? I would hope that if you have a temporary STD like chlamydia you would avoid lifestyles events until it cleared up, but nobody was talking about it. What if you have a more permanent STD, like the herpes mentioned above? Or AIDS? Or HPV? Two of those are really common, but also relatively harmless; do people just assume that other swingers do/don't have them or that the risk in not meaningful? I didn't really hear anybody talking about it, but I"m not sure if that's unusual or not. What's the typical protocol for situations like that?
Also, now that I'm thinking about it. What would be the protocol if you DID pick something up from an event?
That made me a little more aware of how people were interacting with each other, and I have a few questions about etiquette in those situations.Obviously, protection is important for a number of reasons, and pretty much everybody there was using condoms, cleaning toys after use, etc.
However, one thing that I did not notice anybody using was dental dams or any kind of protection for oral sex. In a world where 70% of Americans have some form of herpes, for example, how do you deal with the risk of contracting it if you don't? Or what if you have other STDs? I would hope that if you have a temporary STD like chlamydia you would avoid lifestyles events until it cleared up, but nobody was talking about it. What if you have a more permanent STD, like the herpes mentioned above? Or AIDS? Or HPV? Two of those are really common, but also relatively harmless; do people just assume that other swingers do/don't have them or that the risk in not meaningful? I didn't really hear anybody talking about it, but I"m not sure if that's unusual or not. What's the typical protocol for situations like that?
Also, now that I'm thinking about it. What would be the protocol if you DID pick something up from an event?
Contact with another human being has a certain degree of risk. There is no way to eliminate all of the risk. You just have to decide if the reward of sexual activity outweighs the risk of getting STI.
I was about to say the same ABC. We use condoms for everything and limit the number of people we play with.
So if someone does have an STI, is it expected that they tell you before you play, even if you are using protection? Or does everyone just kind of assume there's risk and it's something you have to decide to mitigate by asking?
Not only should they it's actually the law that if you have an STD you're supposed to tell.
The problem is that most people who are seropositive for HSV are unaware of the fact. And as far as HPV, well, statistically most of us have already been exposed. And an STI panel is pretty much only a snapshot in time of the minute you got your blood drawn. Like it or not, fucking other people has inherent risk. Do your homework, protect yourselves accordingly or just stay home and watch porn if the possibility of coming in contact with sex cooties just scares the bejeezus out of you. It's the only truly safe sex. Sorry to be a buzzkill.
We agree with Deliciouslywet. Most of the couples we have met, are open and honest, and trust they would tell us if they had something ( same goes for us ). However there is always a risk to participate in this lifestyle. Being as safe as possible, and finding respectful friends is the key to a safe and enjoyable experience. Oh and it is very enjoyable!!!!!