Is there a Forum location where users can list profile names of members who have no intention of meeting?
We've had several (single males and couples.. BTW, we understand some "couples" are just the husband) who contact us... we do the email back and forth a few times, set up a date/time and then they either don't show or there's no reply to texts or site emails. They just virtually evaporate!!
We moved here from SoCal, where we had very few problems. People were (for the most part) polite, cordial and straightforward. That was with SLS and not this site.
We understand something like this could be problematic, but we're just checking to see if something is already established?? Thanks!!
We've had several (single males and couples.. BTW, we understand some "couples" are just the husband) who contact us... we do the email back and forth a few times, set up a date/time and then they either don't show or there's no reply to texts or site emails. They just virtually evaporate!!
We moved here from SoCal, where we had very few problems. People were (for the most part) polite, cordial and straightforward. That was with SLS and not this site.
We understand something like this could be problematic, but we're just checking to see if something is already established?? Thanks!!
So you're looking for something like a Flake-o-dex? For you young kids, a Rolodex was what your grandparents used to store info instead of a database. It was hella-fun to spin around and around.
What I think EVILDOERS is trying to say Islander2 is, there is no place to store such a list other than on your own computer or in one of them rolly things the dinosaurs used to keep track of their appointments, or to recall those snooty Triceratops who would just never show up.
I can only assume that Swingular prefers users of the site to not punish other users for committing the crime of no show. But there is hope. They say if you contact enough people and make enough dinner appointments, you might get someone to appear in person. That's what I'm shooting for, at least.
I can only assume that Swingular prefers users of the site to not punish other users for committing the crime of no show. But there is hope. They say if you contact enough people and make enough dinner appointments, you might get someone to appear in person. That's what I'm shooting for, at least.
LILMISSRIDINGHOOD wrote:
What I think EVILDOERS is trying to say Islander2 is, there is no place to store such a list other than on your own computer or in one of them rolly things the dinosaurs used to keep track of their appointments, or to recall those snooty Triceratops who would just never show up.
I can only assume that Swingular prefers users of the site to not punish other users for committing the crime of no show. But there is hope. They say if you contact enough people and make enough dinner appointments, you might get someone to appear in person. That's what I'm shooting for, at least.
OMG, you read my mind! Yes, sadly there are flakes in every walk of life and the fun part is trying to decide who is and isn't a flake. Unfortunately, once swinging went digital, the cost to play went WAY down. I'm not talking about the monthly fee you pay to Swingular. I'm talking about the ease with which someone can hide behind their 'puter and pretend to be something they are not.
Back in the day (grab your Rolodexes kiddies), to meet other swingers you usually had to buy a swinger magazine with ads in it, rent a P.O. box, take some naughty Polaroids and send off a bunch of snail mail. It was WAY too much work for someone who just gets their jollies punking people. Sure there were still flakes, but the amount of effort people had to put in just to CONNECT with other couples made flakes far less ubiquitous.
I mean for all you know now, the people who didn't show up for drinks at Applebees wasn't a hot, sexy couple but, in reality, a 600-pound transvestite defrocked pedophile priest with a ferret fetish. You probably totally dodged a bullet when he didn't have the guts to show up!
Thanks to both. I figured I would get some feedback from evildoers and I wasn't disappointed.
Again, thank you....
Again, thank you....
Keep in mind, Utah pervs just might have a bit more to lose with a higher than average percentage of the population committed to judging their neighbor's every action. If I were to guess, even the established party planners in the LS only see about 40% turnout rates. Personally, self esteem, the workday, weather patterns, sleep cycles and family all play into my decision making process. It's rather awkward to stick to a sexy promise if your libido forgets to show up on time. And, truthfully, I'm not gonna fake an interest and nobody should be forcing that.
Is a 'No-Show' common in the lifestyle? Does everyone get this reaction from others or are there people here so sexy their pheromones seep through the screen and infect anyone who chats them? Because, if that's possible, I would like you to please pass on their profile name. (Note to self: Buy one of those Rolodex Thingys EVILDOERS wrote of)
We empathize with much of what we have read in this topic so far ... Unfortunately, fakes who try to deceive their way into your bedroom and flakes who get their kicks setting up false dates are all too prevalent, not only on Swingular but throughout the entire swingers' community online. For the past three months, we have wasted tremendous amounts of our precious spare time perusing countless profiles and advts, and writing and responding to countless emails and text messages. Despite our concerted almost-daily effort,` we have met only two genuine couples. The vast majority of people we have had contact with over the past 3 months have been fakes or flakes ... and we refuse to play their game any more.
These people only exist and thrive on sites like this, and make our pastime difficult and unpleasant, because we allow them to. Evildoers is correct in his/her statement that digital technology has made it easier for people to pretend to be something they are not ... But that depends entirely on the technology being used, which we will discuss in a moment.
We (genuine couples) cannot eradicate flakes and fakes from sites like this one, but there are simple commonsense steps we can all take to take the fun out of their participation here.
1. Only communicate with certified/verified couples or females. This is not infallible, but it will reduce the amount of fakes/flakes you come into contact with.
2. Publicly expose and shame all fakes and flakes using the forum. If Swingular doesn't like the forum being used this way they can delete the countless number of posts they will receive, else provide another suitable avenue.
2a. If Swingular doesn't come to the party, start up an online "Flake-o-Dex". It's not as problematic as it sounds if you already have website hosting (
). The major problems with this are getting the site known so people will use it, and moderating the site to ensure that only genuine complaints are posted. But these problems are not insurmountable.
2. Screen your prospects. Stop communicating in text or email after the initial contact ... Advise them by text, email (or on your profile page) that you will want to meet them on webcam (Skype or Swingular videochat) before any real-life meeting. For the most part, fakes and flakes won't contact you again, but if they do, a no-show on cam is far less inconvenient and costly than a no-show in real-life. If a couple or single female are genuine swingers who truly interested in a real life sexual encounter, they should have no inhibitions in meeting you privately on cam.
3. If you only want to meet real couples or females, put yourselves in a place where you will only meet real people and where real people can meet you. Fakes thrive in the anonymity of text-only groups and hate videochat because they can't hide who they are ... So make use of the Swingular Video chat room and stop using text-only groups like Kik to meet people. We both met in a video/text chat room in 2008 (and were living in two separate countries at the time). Many of the people in the room were hiding their faces until they got to know each other (including us, initially) but, from day 1, we could determine everyone's gender and general appearance. Still anonymous (for those that wanted it that way) but no fakes there and none of the problems that are occurring on this site.
Well that's our view on the matter ... Whether you choose to consider and try our suggestions is entirely up to you.
These people only exist and thrive on sites like this, and make our pastime difficult and unpleasant, because we allow them to. Evildoers is correct in his/her statement that digital technology has made it easier for people to pretend to be something they are not ... But that depends entirely on the technology being used, which we will discuss in a moment.
We (genuine couples) cannot eradicate flakes and fakes from sites like this one, but there are simple commonsense steps we can all take to take the fun out of their participation here.
1. Only communicate with certified/verified couples or females. This is not infallible, but it will reduce the amount of fakes/flakes you come into contact with.
2. Publicly expose and shame all fakes and flakes using the forum. If Swingular doesn't like the forum being used this way they can delete the countless number of posts they will receive, else provide another suitable avenue.
2a. If Swingular doesn't come to the party, start up an online "Flake-o-Dex". It's not as problematic as it sounds if you already have website hosting (
). The major problems with this are getting the site known so people will use it, and moderating the site to ensure that only genuine complaints are posted. But these problems are not insurmountable.2. Screen your prospects. Stop communicating in text or email after the initial contact ... Advise them by text, email (or on your profile page) that you will want to meet them on webcam (Skype or Swingular videochat) before any real-life meeting. For the most part, fakes and flakes won't contact you again, but if they do, a no-show on cam is far less inconvenient and costly than a no-show in real-life. If a couple or single female are genuine swingers who truly interested in a real life sexual encounter, they should have no inhibitions in meeting you privately on cam.
3. If you only want to meet real couples or females, put yourselves in a place where you will only meet real people and where real people can meet you. Fakes thrive in the anonymity of text-only groups and hate videochat because they can't hide who they are ... So make use of the Swingular Video chat room and stop using text-only groups like Kik to meet people. We both met in a video/text chat room in 2008 (and were living in two separate countries at the time). Many of the people in the room were hiding their faces until they got to know each other (including us, initially) but, from day 1, we could determine everyone's gender and general appearance. Still anonymous (for those that wanted it that way) but no fakes there and none of the problems that are occurring on this site.
Well that's our view on the matter ... Whether you choose to consider and try our suggestions is entirely up to you.
It sounds as though there are people who are hurt because they have a plan in mind that didn't work out the way they planned. I understand that can be frustrating. Maybe you have expectations that won't be met.
I'm new here, but I have seen that there are numerous events at the bottom of the home page that you can attend to meet people. I've signed up for one myself. If meeting someone from this site isn't working, try that.
Or, do as I did. Invite people to join you at a place where you'll be having fun with or without them. You meet in the open with others there to make sure you feel safe and you're already having a good time. If they don't show, no problem. You had a great time anyway. Cross them off the list.
Hanging your happiness on the actions of others will never make you satisfied. Never does. It will only serve to frustrate you more. Be the one who has a good time no matter who you're with or where you are.
Life is too short to have a hate list. Forget those who don't come to the party and embrace those who do.
I'm new here, but I have seen that there are numerous events at the bottom of the home page that you can attend to meet people. I've signed up for one myself. If meeting someone from this site isn't working, try that.
Or, do as I did. Invite people to join you at a place where you'll be having fun with or without them. You meet in the open with others there to make sure you feel safe and you're already having a good time. If they don't show, no problem. You had a great time anyway. Cross them off the list.
Hanging your happiness on the actions of others will never make you satisfied. Never does. It will only serve to frustrate you more. Be the one who has a good time no matter who you're with or where you are.
Life is too short to have a hate list. Forget those who don't come to the party and embrace those who do.
Very wise words LilMissRidingHood, but a little misdirected if you were referring to us. Our life is wonderful in so many ways and while we would like to enhance it by having others in it, we certainly don't rely on others for our own happiness. The issue is not about having our hopes and expectations not work out the way we planned, or even being rejected (it's impossible to get along with everyone so rejection is inevitable), but having our "desire" (not "need") to meet new people impeded by others for their own self gratification and having our valuable leisure time wasted because of them. Meeting people here is a lot harder than it should be, not just for us, but for all genuine couples on this site ... So why shouldn't we express our distaste of this and try to make it easier for us and others?
I understand why some might want a way to "out" flakes whether by online Flake-O-Dex or some other means, but unfortunately, after hanging around this funny little hobby for as long as we have, I'm afraid there are many who would abuse it. We've seen plenty of people say all manner of "evil" about others, not because they were flaked on or any other unpardonable sin. Sadly, there are those who get EXTREMELY butthurt when someone, for whatever reason, declines to play with them. We've personally been the objects of online witch hunts when we've politely declined to play with people.
I guess what I'm saying is, be careful what you wish for because something that was ostensibly meant for good could just as easily be used for bad...and it could be used against you. #askmehowiknow
I guess what I'm saying is, be careful what you wish for because something that was ostensibly meant for good could just as easily be used for bad...and it could be used against you. #askmehowiknow
ROCKYMOUNTINHI wrote:Enough said!
Well that's our view on the matter ... Whether you choose to consider and try our suggestions is entirely up to you.
I think it's pretty much all in how you perceive life in general.
Ms. Evil, the last time somebody stood us up.
Me, the last time somebody stood us up.
Ms. Evil, the last time somebody stood us up.
Me, the last time somebody stood us up.
Where can we post the tools and d-bags that when told no thank you, all of a sudden you're a prude or a bitch or an asshole because you said no. What ever happened to the common courtesies and the rules that no means no. Just because this is a swingers site does not mean we will fuck you just because we have a profile here. Is there a tool-o-dex for that? Nothing more makes us say "OH DEAR GOD I MADE A HORRIBLE MISTAKE LETS FUCK" like being called names after politely turning you down.
Wow.. Great comments!! "In general", we agree with what ROCKYMOUNTAINHI is saying. It's the "fake/flake" the pretender. It's not the people who say "no". We've met with couples and had a great conversation, but either they said no or we said no. Neither us, nor the other couples have had a problem with it.
It's those who lead you on, setting up an appointment to meet and chat. No sex. It gets down to the time, which you've set aside and there's no one there. At least when I text, just prior and they don't respond, we don't go. Follow up texts or emails bring no response. Nothing.
We've talked about attending a meet and greet (actually went to one of K and Rs three years ago), but generally, we don't go to parties (the problem when you have two introverts). By the same token, we'd have to warm up to video chat. The parties would are a stretch, video chat would be more difficult. However, we do have options! Thank you for the ideas....
It's those who lead you on, setting up an appointment to meet and chat. No sex. It gets down to the time, which you've set aside and there's no one there. At least when I text, just prior and they don't respond, we don't go. Follow up texts or emails bring no response. Nothing.
We've talked about attending a meet and greet (actually went to one of K and Rs three years ago), but generally, we don't go to parties (the problem when you have two introverts). By the same token, we'd have to warm up to video chat. The parties would are a stretch, video chat would be more difficult. However, we do have options! Thank you for the ideas....
So, I'm recently divorced and exploring. Unfortunately, I'm now a single male. I have learned that I'm not super welcome in a swinger lifestyle alone. Yet, being alone sucks.
I'm not a flake. I'm also working on myself before I go get myself into a new relationship. Until then, do you all have any recommendations for how to proceed and meet open minded people that won't judge?
I'm not a flake. I'm also working on myself before I go get myself into a new relationship. Until then, do you all have any recommendations for how to proceed and meet open minded people that won't judge?