We are having some frustration with sending a message to someone genuinely expressing an interest and a desire to communicate and see if there could be a connection and never receiving a response. We get messages daily from single guys even though our profile nicely asks for them to let us find them, so we understand the need to ignore a message or two, but we are a real couple genuinely interested in other couples, single women, and some select single males. Does anyone else feel as if your effort to be real, honest, detailed, and respectful in your messages is lost in the wind and ultimately a waste of your time?
Meh. Whatcha gonna do. More than a few tire kickers around here. The titillation of being on the site and being close to all the naughty sex is more than enough excitement for them. If they actually ever met anyone...well, the mere thought of that would give them the vapors and they'd faint dead away.
Millville is by logan
Millville is just south of Logan.
We rarely get a response to messages too. It's very frustrating sometimes!!!!
Everyday. We have found it is just part of the game. Some people just don't click and don't want to respond out of fear of hurting others feelings. Others may not respond because they are fearful of actually finding somebody that is real. There are some that aren't really couples at all and just the husband posting pics of his wife.
Don't let it get you down. We have request out there that have not been responded to. There are some that we have even met and rather than just letting us know we are not their type for whatever reason we get led to believe that we are.
Finally there are those that are real and genuine and when you find them you all click and when you do it is awesome. Those are the people that make it worth the grief. There are some absolutely great people on here. Play friends and those that are just great friends and incredible people.
Don't let it get you down. We have request out there that have not been responded to. There are some that we have even met and rather than just letting us know we are not their type for whatever reason we get led to believe that we are.
Finally there are those that are real and genuine and when you find them you all click and when you do it is awesome. Those are the people that make it worth the grief. There are some absolutely great people on here. Play friends and those that are just great friends and incredible people.
You guys gotta realize something...... 90% of the profiles on here are no longer active. You also can't pay attention to the "last logged in" date... The site admins have admitted in the past that they "login" to accounts for "testing" purposes, which effectively means that date is meaningless. (I suspect they do it to keep the "members online" numbers artificially inflated.. I guarantee you there aren't 1,600 people online on this site right now.. for example.. But nobody wants to hang out on a site with only a few hundred active people)
So when you send a message and it never gets open, and never gets a response.. it's likely a couple that is either A) fake.. or B) no longer interested in the site and/or swinging.
It's a numbers game... send out Y messages, and you'll get X in reply... we've found the ratio is about 7:1.
So when you send a message and it never gets open, and never gets a response.. it's likely a couple that is either A) fake.. or B) no longer interested in the site and/or swinging.
It's a numbers game... send out Y messages, and you'll get X in reply... we've found the ratio is about 7:1.
If you go to your sent mail box, you can see if a message has been read.
Bmshell.....you bring up a good point. We for one would much rather the sight have accurate numbers and know what we have to deal with than be hopeful about someone you'll never hear from. To bad the site doesn't have a feature that would list someone as inactive after a certain period of not logging it.
We have checked our sent messages to see if they have been read and that is where most of our frustration comes from because many of them have not.
If people don't respond to our kind email solicitations we start sending them multiple emails, each one a little more acerbic than the last, finally culminating in calling them names like "weak", "low energy", "crazy", "liar", "disgusting", "lightweight", "little", and "loser". 
We think that people are basically nice, and probably are not comfy telling people no thank you. We have been doing this for 18 years, and we have seen it all and heard it all. Don't take it personally. Just let them come to you. If you are pushing super hard, sometimes that scares folks away. We realize that our particular brand of kink is not for everyone either. Be patient, take nice pics, post a good profile and slow down.
We try to answer any messages we get, even if, for whatever reason, the answer we send isn't going to be wonderfully positive. We even send a note when we get messages from people we have no intention of ever meeting. Most blind FRs, for example, or FRs from people 2000 miles away, and/or people with absolutely no pics. But with the exception of blind FRs from single males, we do try to send a note. "Sorry, but we don't accept fRs from folks who have no pics at all, are so far away we'd never be able to meet, and who have never been verified. No offense meant, but those kinds of things sound too much like picture collectors." Or "Sorry, but you guys are 9 states away from here, we don't see how we could ever meet, so doing the Friend thing would amount to no more than pic swapping, which we aren't really much into." Sometimes we even reply to a blind FR from a single male if Dana thinks the guy is hot. But sometimes we might not check Swingular for a while. This past year, we mostly just weren't on the site 'cause Dana had some health problems. So we have failed to read some messages for quite a while.
So a lot of the never even read messages are likely people who haven't even seen them because they haven't been using the site lately, or, as others have pointed out, have left the site altogether.
I do wish there was some honest indicator of activity, like "active within past week", of month, or 3 months, etc., meaning the profile owners themselves actually signed on in that period. It would not be hard to put a routine like that into the software, all the profiles would still be on the site so the membership numbers wouldn't drop, and it would sure help the people who are active if they knew they weren't wsting time messaging someone who hasn't been here in the last 6 months.
So a lot of the never even read messages are likely people who haven't even seen them because they haven't been using the site lately, or, as others have pointed out, have left the site altogether.
I do wish there was some honest indicator of activity, like "active within past week", of month, or 3 months, etc., meaning the profile owners themselves actually signed on in that period. It would not be hard to put a routine like that into the software, all the profiles would still be on the site so the membership numbers wouldn't drop, and it would sure help the people who are active if they knew they weren't wsting time messaging someone who hasn't been here in the last 6 months.
EVILDOERS wrote:
If people don't respond to our kind email solicitations we start sending them multiple emails, each one a little more acerbic than the last, finally culminating in calling them names like "weak", "low energy", "crazy", "liar", "disgusting", "lightweight", "little", and "loser".
New Poll:
Trump looks most likely a close relative of:
A: A Beaver
B: A Rabbit
C: A Naked Mole Rat (that squint dues suggest eyesight as bad as theirs)
D: A Buck Toothed Squirell (he has been called a little squirelly)
E: A "normal" Rat
F: A Nutria that forgot to apply the red lipstick to his teeth this morning (he does seem to often forget that he was in favor of something 5 minutes ago which he is currently against (or vice versa); he might alao forget his teeth lipstick, too)
G: Another, extinct except for him (they were hunted out for their pelts and their blubber), Rodent
There's a bit of a disconnect, I think, when it comes to one's expectation after sending a message. No one is entitled to a response, this is not a romantically transactional relationship like a monogamous one might be; these are strangers one has almost certainly not met and though one might prefer to think they live in a polite society the fact is this is the internet. Spilling one's heart out to a potential partner, no matter how well done or hard come by does not earn one an iota of attention. Send a message in the sure knowledge that person may NEVER reply and go on about your life in the way that makes you most happy at the least expense of others. If they get back to you, what an unexpected delight that will be.
"But it's just the nice thing to do when someone says 'hi i need to get blown real bad' or sends you a pic of a dick that looks even more like a naked mole rat than Drumpf the Fascist!", one might bemoan while shaking their fist at clouds and wearing onions on their belt (as was the fashion of the day).
That's simply bullshit.
"But it's just the nice thing to do when someone says 'hi i need to get blown real bad' or sends you a pic of a dick that looks even more like a naked mole rat than Drumpf the Fascist!", one might bemoan while shaking their fist at clouds and wearing onions on their belt (as was the fashion of the day).
That's simply bullshit.
What I find intriguing is when a couple initiates contact then after a few messages they ghost you.
JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:
What I find intriguing is when a couple initiates contact then after a few messages they ghost you.
Our scene - a person wandering through a produce market; we hear internal dialogue over the action.
PERSON: Maybe I would like a cantaloupe.
CANTALOUPES (in unison): Pick me! Pick me!
PERSON (picking up a cantaloupe): This is the size of cantaloupe I could eat before it gets over ripe.
(PERSON weighs cantaloupe)
CANTALOUPE: Score! I have been picked up and will now go to my destiny, whatever that may be! Oh fraptious day!
PERSON (sniffing cantaloupe): I can't smell if this is ripe or not and I don't want to open a cantaloupe that isn't ripe, that would be a waste.
(PERSON shakes cantaloupe near their ear as they saw others do in their lifetime but is unaware what this is supposed to tell them. They look pensive.)
CANTALOUPE: That was fun, I don't get to do that very often.
PERSON: On second thought, this cantaloupe is clearly not the cantaloupe I want; without tasting it I have determined it is not ripe and though I already forgot how much it weighed I'm sure it is more than I can eat even if it is ripe. I'll find a cantaloupe that is better suited for me.
(PERSON puts CANTALOUPE back on pile, looks around pile at others.)
CANTALOUPE (irritated): Well, THAT was intriguing.
END SCENE
We like it when someone just says thank you for the email but we don't think we are not a match rather than ignoring it. It is respectful and does not take that long to do. We reply to every email we get. It might not be for several days since we don't get on here as much but we still reply. We have had several people get mad and want to know why we don't want to meet them which can be awkward. But honesty is the best policy. The tire kickers and singles pretending to be a couple on swing sites are the hard ones to deal with. Just an FYI we are real and like to meet up for fun. 😉
CHEFFETTE wrote:
There's a bit of a disconnect, I think, when it comes to one's expectation after sending a message. No one is entitled to a response, this is not a romantically transactional relationship like a monogamous one might be; these are strangers one has almost certainly not met and though one might prefer to think they live in a polite society the fact is this is the internet. Spilling one's heart out to a potential partner, no matter how well done or hard come by does not earn one an iota of attention. Send a message in the sure knowledge that person may NEVER reply and go on about your life in the way that makes you most happy at the least expense of others. If they get back to you, what an unexpected delight that will be.
"But it's just the nice thing to do when someone says 'hi i need to get blown real bad' or sends you a pic of a dick that looks even more like a naked mole rat than Drumpf the Fascist!", one might bemoan while shaking their fist at clouds and wearing onions on their belt (as was the fashion of the day).
That's simply bullshit.
Esteemed CHEFFETTE,
I hereby promise to never send you any more pics of my mole rat, naked or otherwise, since by my count you already have the previous 237 that I've sent over the past year or so. Having said that, however, I DO still need to get blown real bad. If you could accommodate me it would be greatly appreciated and your efforts would be rewarded with your choice of a free Arctic Circle kiddie cone or a coupon for 5 dollars off your next oil change at Jiffylube.
Sincerely,
Evil
Chefette: From what they said, I think the original problem wasn't so much not getting responses as it was the nmessages not even being read. Which could seem a bit strange, until you think abput how many profiles belong to people who aren't really using the site anymore.
But it does seem kind of polite to acknowledge messages even if it's a "thanks, but no thanks", with or without a reason. Assuming it's a decent, respectful message. As for the other kind, if someone messages that they need to get blown real bad, answer that, too. Tell them that there are periodic wind storms in this part of the country, so all they have to do is go stand outside and wait until the next one.
But it does seem kind of polite to acknowledge messages even if it's a "thanks, but no thanks", with or without a reason. Assuming it's a decent, respectful message. As for the other kind, if someone messages that they need to get blown real bad, answer that, too. Tell them that there are periodic wind storms in this part of the country, so all they have to do is go stand outside and wait until the next one.
THISLILMISS wrote:
You also have to keep in mind not all users are at home using a computer. For example the only way I am able to check my messages is through the browser on my phone. Since the sight is terrible on cellphones, try to be understanding. Think of it this way-If it takes about 10 minutes to load each message, you cant scroll or zoom into the message at all and you have 50+ emails- are you truely going to read and reply to each and everyone of them? It's not them trying to be a jerk or offensive. Some times it's frusterating on their part too.
And if someone is a single female, if she only has 50 messages it was probably a slower than usual day. Everyone knows about the trials and tribulations of single males on the site; does anyone ever think about what single females have to deal with? Like the people who assume that if she's on a swinger site she MUST be a nymphomaniac who wants to screw anyone who's interested?
TMACA wrote:
Chefette: From what they said, I think the original problem wasn't so much not getting responses as it was the nmessages not even being read. Which could seem a bit strange, until you think abput how many profiles belong to people who aren't really using the site anymore.
But it does seem kind of polite to acknowledge messages even if it's a "thanks, but no thanks", with or without a reason. Assuming it's a decent, respectful message. As for the other kind, if someone messages that they need to get blown real bad, answer that, too. Tell them that there are periodic wind storms in this part of the country, so all they have to do is go stand outside and wait until the next one.
I was referring primarily to the post I quoted; as far as polite, respectful, etc - those are conventions and this site is for people stepping outside several deeply entrenched societal conventions and you can't pick and choose which to apply to anyone who isn't you like a buffet without getting frustrated and resentful. Shrug off ghosting and move on to better people, is my point.
As far as them not being read AT ALL, I'm inclined to believe what BMSHELL says; those folks haven't seen them b/c they haven't actually logged in when it appears they have or alternately have logged into some version of the site where they can't see or read messages, like the Messenger app. It would seem strange for a site member to see they have a message from a category of person they've marked on their profile they're interested in and ignore it, but that's what has appeared to happen to me several times as well. For my ego's sake I assume they haven't seen that there's a new message.
For those following that didn't quite catch the concern that inspired this post. we were frustrated by the lack of opening and answering of messages that we have recently sent out. Due to being 100 miles from most parties and not being able to attend them often to meet people in person, We went in search of couples and single women that we were interested in, all of which showed a log in within 30 days. Very few of these messages have been opened and even fewer have been answered in any way, positive or negative. We understand people are busy and we understand that some people get an overwhelming number of messages, although the percentage of these massages not opened or responded to by people that show recent login was disappointing to us!
If they are active and the people simply don't respond, it's tacky, rude, impolite, whatever you want to call it... but you probably wouldn't want to be with them anyway. Basically, they're jerks...and will always be that way...
I respond to many of the messages I receive, although I imagine some of those people wish I hadn't replied.
My all time favorite -
Man #1: Hey sexy what are you doing tonight?
Me: Not you.
Examples from this week-
Man #2: Hey Girl!...
Me: Hey Boy! Not interested.
#3: Tell me something about yourself.
Me: My profile shows a lot of information about me. That's why it exists.
Faceless Man #4: Accept my friend request. Chat with me.
Me: Provide a reciprocal face pic.
Him: Tell me how to attach a pic .
Me: Google it. I won't do your work for you.
# what am I on now, 4? 5?: I'm new here. I don't know what I want.
Me: *radio silence* *delete*
Gotta have fun with it or I'd get fed up with the BS.
My all time favorite -
Man #1: Hey sexy what are you doing tonight?
Me: Not you.
Examples from this week-
Man #2: Hey Girl!...
Me: Hey Boy! Not interested.
#3: Tell me something about yourself.
Me: My profile shows a lot of information about me. That's why it exists.
Faceless Man #4: Accept my friend request. Chat with me.
Me: Provide a reciprocal face pic.
Him: Tell me how to attach a pic .
Me: Google it. I won't do your work for you.
# what am I on now, 4? 5?: I'm new here. I don't know what I want.
Me: *radio silence* *delete*
Gotta have fun with it or I'd get fed up with the BS.
Even if we're not interested we respond, thank them for their interest and tell them they're not what we're looking for, but we respond. We've had the same issue with people not responding as well FUNLUV
Yeah, I don't have time to open let alone respond to messages, yo.
