There are some non platinum members I am interested in meeting. What would you do to verify? (I'm thinking skype or something before)
ILLUSTRATOR wrote:
Usually, it's the couples who are trying to verify because of the single men who pretend they're single women or couples to see their privates or collect photos. Sometimes, men will pretend they're a couple then show up without their "wife" with some lame excuse as to why she couldn't be there. I've never seen a single male trying to verify a woman or a couple. They typically feel lucky if the single female or couple even shows up.
How can single men pretend to be single women? Men have outies and women have innies. Should be pretty obvious to most people...I assume.
I'm thinking more some troll or something with a "bronze" membership.
I vet the bejeezus out of everyone before I consider meeting them, as best I can before I contact them. Partnered-playing-single guys that I want to avoid are typically found out before phone numbers are exchanged; they're so excited about the possibility of sex w/ a new person the blood drains from around their brain into their crotch and all their thinking goes out the window. #dubiousscience
While you're less likely to get physically harmed on a date than I am, OP, it never hurts to ask to meet someone over Skype; at least you can get a feel for them, listen for hints they're really a sketchy person who's looking to rob or blackmail you, see if there's basic chemistry and it will probably ramp up the excitement to meet in person. That said, please don't then ask them to perform cam sex or the like unless you want to get put on Ignore immediately.
While you're less likely to get physically harmed on a date than I am, OP, it never hurts to ask to meet someone over Skype; at least you can get a feel for them, listen for hints they're really a sketchy person who's looking to rob or blackmail you, see if there's basic chemistry and it will probably ramp up the excitement to meet in person. That said, please don't then ask them to perform cam sex or the like unless you want to get put on Ignore immediately.
Yes, everyone PLEASE vet your lifestyle play partners carefully. I didn't do my due diligence one time and was roofied, dressed up like Gayle Ruzika, and forced to vote for Donald Drumpf in the Republican Caucus. I'm still in intensive inpatient therapy weeks later and suffering severe PTSD.
Meeting isn't the issue its verifying your clean for sex and that normally takes a couple of meets in high vanilla public places.
POET_RAYL wrote:
Meeting isn't the issue its verifying your clean for sex and that normally takes a couple of meets in high vanilla public places.
How does meeting "in high vanilla places" verify that someone is "clean for sex"?
Meeting in public not the issue the person producing a test result of clean has been the more challangeing part for us.
Not sure, but plenty of communication in general is required for us. Also, if another party seemingly cannot construct a sentence or not willing to answer simple questions if asked...does tend to send up a red flag. We received the following message from another couple over the weekend and thought it was a unique way of verification. What do you think?
"Hopefully, you don't find this offensive, but would you consider maybe writing down today's date on a piece of paper and sending us a picture of the paper say on her belly near panty line. You don't have to show your face on it just something like that and we will also do it as well?"
The other couple ended up doing the same. As well as writing the words "conference weekend" under the date.
"Hopefully, you don't find this offensive, but would you consider maybe writing down today's date on a piece of paper and sending us a picture of the paper say on her belly near panty line. You don't have to show your face on it just something like that and we will also do it as well?"
The other couple ended up doing the same. As well as writing the words "conference weekend" under the date.
SOMEWHERENTIME wrote:
Not sure, but plenty of communication in general is required for us. Also, if another party seemingly cannot construct a sentence or not willing to answer simple questions if asked...does tend to send up a red flag. We received the following message from another couple over the weekend and thought it was a unique way of verification. What do you think?
"Hopefully, you don't find this offensive, but would you consider maybe writing down today's date on a piece of paper and sending us a picture of the paper say on her belly near panty line. You don't have to show your face on it just something like that and we will also do it as well?"
The other couple ended up doing the same. As well as writing the words "conference weekend" under the date.
Well they might very well be homicidal maniacs but they are apparently aware of the date. I say go ahead and fuck 'em.
I mean really, what more do you need in common than both being oriented to time, date and place?
EVILDOERS wrote:SOMEWHERENTIME wrote:
Not sure, but plenty of communication in general is required for us. Also, if another party seemingly cannot construct a sentence or not willing to answer simple questions if asked...does tend to send up a red flag. We received the following message from another couple over the weekend and thought it was a unique way of verification. What do you think?
"Hopefully, you don't find this offensive, but would you consider maybe writing down today's date on a piece of paper and sending us a picture of the paper say on her belly near panty line. You don't have to show your face on it just something like that and we will also do it as well?"
The other couple ended up doing the same. As well as writing the words "conference weekend" under the date.
Well they might very well be homicidal maniacs but they are apparently aware of the date. I say go ahead and fuck 'em.
I mean really, what more do you need in common than both being oriented to time, date and place?
No se! Perhaps someone that looked like their profile pics? Or had a flat tummy like the Mister and Mrs might have been looking for?
"No se! Perhaps someone that looked like their profile pics? Or had a flat tummy like the Mister and Mrs might have been looking for?"
Aunque la mona se vista de seda mona se queda. Yeah, know whatcha mean. We aren't so much 'bout an uber flat tummy as we are whether or not they both have a big ole wad of chaw in between their lip and their gum and are wearin' matching "Make America Great Again" trucker hats.
And as for lookin' like their profile pics...well, we kinda like to be surprised. It's like openin' a present on Christmas from yer Great Aunt Matilda and wonderin' if it'll be that cool new Transformer you've been wantin' or a sweater she made herself...with a picture of her cats on it.
Aunque la mona se vista de seda mona se queda. Yeah, know whatcha mean. We aren't so much 'bout an uber flat tummy as we are whether or not they both have a big ole wad of chaw in between their lip and their gum and are wearin' matching "Make America Great Again" trucker hats.
And as for lookin' like their profile pics...well, we kinda like to be surprised. It's like openin' a present on Christmas from yer Great Aunt Matilda and wonderin' if it'll be that cool new Transformer you've been wantin' or a sweater she made herself...with a picture of her cats on it.
On the flip side, how do we get verified as a real couple if we don't know anyone, not having been to any parties? I've learned from other dating sites that if you ask for pictures within the first 3 messages, you're a man posing as a woman and just picture hunting. I'm not interested. We have talked about going to parties, but I'm not comfortable with being with other men, and I don't expect a man to share his wife without something in return... damn I feel like I'm in high school again, I'm so new! :/
LOVE2LICKHER236 wrote:
On the flip side, how do we get verified as a real couple if we don't know anyone, not having been to any parties? I've learned from other dating sites that if you ask for pictures within the first 3 messages, you're a man posing as a woman and just picture hunting. I'm not interested. We have talked about going to parties, but I'm not comfortable with being with other men, and I don't expect a man to share his wife without something in return... damn I feel like I'm in high school again, I'm so new! :/
There's a clear description of the process via webcam or email in the FAQ, isn't there?
From the short description of your foremost concerns, it sounds like you're most interested in being able to have consequence-free sex with a woman who isn't your wife rather than being open to a shared experience for your wife to have sex with another man while you either join in or sit back and enjoy her enjoyment; is couples' swinging truly what you want? Your wording almost sounds like an even trade of wifely resources with another guy - 'something in return'.
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
When we meet a couple in person, we show them pictures, some of which have store fronts, trees or rivers and some of which don't. We ask them to pick out the pictures which include those items. If they can't get it right then we know they must be robots. If they are robots we most certainly expect them to have flat stomachs and exceptional skills in bed or we refuse to fuck them.
I laughed until my stomach hurt picturing this process in person, perhaps at an Applebee's over a sizzling plate of fajitas... 'Now that we've dispensed with the pleasantries, here are nine pictures; please point to those that contain street signs.'
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
Spot on, we usually go to Applebee's
What keeps you going back, the bottomless fries or the topless servers?
To get back on topic a wee bit, I'd like to remind folks that verification itself is not a guarantee. Run their name(s) through the Utah's Right To Know sites to confirm what they tell you is true, preferably before you meet them.
CHEFFETTE wrote:LOVE2LICKHER236 wrote:
On the flip side, how do we get verified as a real couple if we don't know anyone, not having been to any parties? I've learned from other dating sites that if you ask for pictures within the first 3 messages, you're a man posing as a woman and just picture hunting. I'm not interested. We have talked about going to parties, but I'm not comfortable with being with other men, and I don't expect a man to share his wife without something in return... damn I feel like I'm in high school again, I'm so new! :/
There's a clear description of the process via webcam or email in the FAQ, isn't there?
From the short description of your foremost concerns, it sounds like you're most interested in being able to have consequence-free sex with a woman who isn't your wife rather than being open to a shared experience for your wife to have sex with another man while you either join in or sit back and enjoy her enjoyment; is couples' swinging truly what you want? Your wording almost sounds like an even trade of wifely resources with another guy - 'something in return'.
While I do appreciate your feedback Cheffette, I will point out that your assuption is incorrect because I AM the wife! This is our profile, but being that I am bisexual and completely satisfied with my husband being the only man I will be with, my soul reason for being here is to look for a girlfriend. He is well aware and very happy to allow me to quench my thirst so to speak. The search for the quintessential unicorn as it were. I did read your profile and chose not to message you, out of respect for your clearly marked requests. I am navigating this site from my phone, which is not very user friendly in this format, but I will jump on my computer and search through the FAQ's as you suggested, so thank you
LOVE2LICKHER236 wrote:CHEFFETTE wrote:
[quote=LOVE2LICKHER236]On the flip side, how do we get verified as a real couple if we don't know anyone, not having been to any parties? I've learned from other dating sites that if you ask for pictures within the first 3 messages, you're a man posing as a woman and just picture hunting. I'm not interested. We have talked about going to parties, but I'm not comfortable with being with other men, and I don't expect a man to share his wife without something in return... damn I feel like I'm in high school again, I'm so new! :/
There's a clear description of the process via webcam or email in the FAQ, isn't there?
From the short description of your foremost concerns, it sounds like you're most interested in being able to have consequence-free sex with a woman who isn't your wife rather than being open to a shared experience for your wife to have sex with another man while you either join in or sit back and enjoy her enjoyment; is couples' swinging truly what you want? Your wording almost sounds like an even trade of wifely resources with another guy - 'something in return'.
While I do appreciate your feedback Cheffette, I will point out that your assuption is incorrect because I AM the wife! This is our profile, but being that I am bisexual and completely satisfied with my husband being the only man I will be with, my soul reason for being here is to look for a girlfriend. He is well aware and very happy to allow me to quench my thirst so to speak. The search for the quintessential unicorn as it were. I did read your profile and chose not to message you, out of respect for your clearly marked requests. I am navigating this site from my phone, which is not very user friendly in this format, but I will jump on my computer and search through the FAQ's as you suggested, so thank you[/quote]
You're absolutely right, I assumed it was a man writing due to interest in women; that's my own hetero-normative bias showing and I need to check it. I'm sorry I wasn't more mindful.
This site is THE WORST on phones, no matter what model. Absolutely hateful, so I personally save it for when I'm at a computer any more, hardly worth the frustration.
Site works GREAT on my pre-paid 7-Eleven Trac Phone.
POET_RAYL wrote:
Meeting in public not the issue the person producing a test result of clean has been the more challangeing part for us.
Now that brings up a different, but related question. How recent do test results need to be? Most folks don't have the money (or sometimes the time) to get tested, say, every week. Or, probably, even every month. In my case, the testing doesn't cost me a cent, but it has to be "medically necessary", so I need to tell teh Dr. I had unprotected sex, which I couldn't get away with doing on any kind of regular basis.
So I have to be hinest with the Dr. And if someone wanted to see my "test results" (for which I'd need a little notice, I don't carry stuff like that in my wallet), I'd explain that if I have unprotected sex with anyone I wait 2 to 3 weeks, then get tested, and until I've done that and gotten the redults I just don't play with anyone. So my latest results might be a week old, or they might be 6 months or more old. Depends on what has or has not happened lately. And even if that's OK with whoever it is, how do they know I'm not lying, and do "it" all the time with all kinds of ladies?
Unfoertunately, it seems like unless you want to make what might be unresonable demands time-wise for tests, you still end up having to believe someone at some point.
With some STD's on the rise in Utah we tend to date before the sex part ever happens and 98% of it is protected sex. We get tested about every 6 months depending on how many partners we have. A hard copy test result takes 2 weeks to show up at your house since depending on the culture you're haven done a full screen with insurance is about 250. thru inter mountain. We tend to have long term 3rd to help out if we decide no protection and for the couple we prefer long term date and geting to know each other before fucking it tends to be more enjoyable than a fling. We don't do a new couple ever week or every day type of connections. An yes trust is a big factor in being in the life style. We look for the long term connections vs the opps did we just get something since everyone is normally on the same page and wanting to stay clean to have more sex and ta live another day.
An in the time we've been meeting people thru this web site 10% care and the other 80% don't so we will stick with the 10%ter to stay clean and enjoying safe sexual fulfillment.
We don't drink or do drugs and we do all our encounters 100% sober so there is no opps.
Hope that give ya a better idea of what my 1st post was meaning.
An in the time we've been meeting people thru this web site 10% care and the other 80% don't so we will stick with the 10%ter to stay clean and enjoying safe sexual fulfillment.
We don't drink or do drugs and we do all our encounters 100% sober so there is no opps.
Hope that give ya a better idea of what my 1st post was meaning.