Hello all, ok, here's the question, I would like my girlfriend to become a submissive, so how do I go about training her to become a submissive?
Honestly you're in the wrong place. Fetlife.Com is a much better resource for kink information. The swinger and fetish/kink community are very different.
MAVERICK0509 wrote:
Hello all, ok, here's the question, I would like my girlfriend to become a submissive, so how do I go about training her to become a submissive?
You don't train people you care about to please you, you talk to them and see if you can find agreement (if your girlfriend is a Golden Retriever please ignore this statement). In a non-sexual moment, tell her what it is about her being a submissive that you imagine you would enjoy and see if she would like to role play it. If she says yes, do that thing and see where it takes you both. If she says no, then your fantasy lives in your head while you stay together or you break up.
When you picture yourself training her to be a submissive does that look like controlling her?
Send her to Afghanistan.
GOLDENSPIDER wrote:
Send her to Afghanistan.
Might want to loosen your looney pants a smidge.
what do you mean by girlfriend? Seems you are asking others for information based on no facts.If I had to guess I would imagine you have none either. Think you watched 50 Shades too many times. Unfortunately it doesn't work like the movies. That movie has brought out more misconceptions than anything positive. Why don't you work on the relationship first, if you truly want her as a girlfriend rather than trying to mold her into your personal project. Not being discrimitory regarding your age but if she is close to yours, you are not going to "change" her into anything just based on an opinion from here or fetlife. Imagining also she didn't come to you and asked if you could change her into a submissive.
I would like my boyfriend to become a minotaur; how shall I proceed?
The BDSM community is quite different from those that dabble here. Try one of the two dungeons in SLC. Both have classes you both can attend. Important that you enter the path together and determine as a coup,e what role suit you best.
Have fun.
Simples
Have fun.
Simples
MAVERICK0509 wrote:
Hello all, ok, here's the question, I would like my girlfriend to become a submissive, so how do I go about training her to become a submissive?
We don't make anyone do anything. Ugh.
Meh. Sometimes people deserve to have their knees jerked and/or brows beaten when they post something that sounds controlling/coercive, demeaning and just plain obnoxious. All it would have taken was for the OP to chime back in and perhaps explain or clarify that he didn't mean it to come off sounding quite so misogynistic and that this was something his girlfriend had expressed a desire to explore instead of something HE wanted her to do. This is still our community and I think we have the right to call people out when they appear to violate the 'prime directive' of swinging. I know other's would seemingly prefer it be the wild west where pretty much anything goes. But, for my part, I'd prefer to keep topics a little less rapey.
ILLUSTRATOR wrote:
Besides, Maverick0509 lives in Florida. He's in DeepMoan's territory, not ours.
Oh My God, do we have swinger gangs now??
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
The OP ask how to "train her" not "Make her". If he and she are both interested in just such an arrangement, but they don't exactly know what to do, the question is legitimate for this forum, since there are members doing the submissive dominate arrangement. Again, it seems complicated. If two people, with a standing relationship, of a more traditional sort, both discover and disclose an interest in this type of arrangement how hard would it be to actually do it?
Entirely possible that he meant it in a way that wasn't coercive or forced. Again, all he'd have to do is clarify (hell, he could totally fucking LIE for all any of us would ever know) that this is something that she also desires or is curious about. The only reason some of us jumped on it like we did is because we're tired of the threads that ignore consent. I'm sure there are plenty of other websites where people can get tacit approval and act out their misogyny or masochism.
Spending too much time being jerked around by a Floridiot, he has been on the site daily I am sure. Sadly this 58 year old Floridiot has nothing better than dropping the poison pill and sneaking around. Please trust me when I say we may live in the same state, and that is definitely a maybe, but he would never be in my territory.
ILLUSTRATOR wrote:
So, Wait, this guy, the OP, is trolling you, too? Are you the one he wants to become his submissive?
No he is not trolling me, was unaware he was trolling you.
I suggest you try playing at first. Tie her with ties or scarfs. Pleasure her.
See if it floats her boat. Tell her how excited you are when she is exposed and vulnerable
Combine it it with a bit of tantra
This is about control. Not pain
If her body responds you have a chance. If she is not aroused by it stop
And cum up with another fantasy
See if it floats her boat. Tell her how excited you are when she is exposed and vulnerable
Combine it it with a bit of tantra
This is about control. Not pain
If her body responds you have a chance. If she is not aroused by it stop
And cum up with another fantasy
UTAHBARBIE wrote:
I'm submissive!
Mmmmm...I'm dominate! Come on over and I'll break out the toys!!!
Mrs. FunTD_NINE wrote:DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
[quote=TD_NINE]It is something that she would want as a fantasy for you two to try. I would think anyway.
Not for the two of us. Never been a fantasy in either one of our minds. Anyone who knows Mrs. Delicious knows that the thought of her assuming the role of a submissive is preposterous. That does not make the fantasy a bad thing. Our cup of tea, is just that, just what we like. It does not invalidate anyone else's choice. As a "choice" all the parties desire, in a relationship, the dominant and submissive sexual relationship does not seem to us inappropriate in any way so long as it is what they both "choose".
I agree that it has to be away to be chosen by both people involved in the relationship. Everyone has their own thing and as long as both enjoy it, then so be it [/quote]
Agreed; no one should take one for the team, that way lies madness and an unpleasant life.