I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends or public holidays off
I work in damp environment
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work high places
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis,
After assesing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep after brief work periods
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
You do not take initiative--you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave your workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You will retire well before you are 65
You are unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task
And if all this is not enough, you have been seen constantly entering exiting the work place carrying two suspicious-looking bags
Sincerely,
The Management
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends or public holidays off
I work in damp environment
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work high places
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis,
After assesing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep after brief work periods
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
You do not take initiative--you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave your workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You will retire well before you are 65
You are unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task
And if all this is not enough, you have been seen constantly entering exiting the work place carrying two suspicious-looking bags
Sincerely,
The Management