...calling in the ward?
1) Ward skank. Mow my lawn and/or do other stuff in skimpy, non-garment approved clothing. It's a very important job in that it makes the other ward members feel better about themselves, superior if you will.
2) Ward outcast. After years of trying to get me to do other stuff (like even my home/visiting teaching) they gave up and made me the lowest caste in the ward. Now nobody is allowed to touch or even talk to or acknowledge me. It's actually a pretty sweet gig.
3) Ward project. They're constantly trying to get me (us) to come back to church or go to Relief Society or the root beer social the Elder's Quorum is putting on.
4) We're the ward no-Mo's. Not Mormon, never have been, never will be...but that doesn't stop them from trying to convert us. CONSTANTLY!
5) I'm the Bish, duh! It's because I'm really awesome and a winner and I'm rich, really rich. And everybody likes me. They knew that if they made me Bish I'd make the ward so awesome that everyone would get sick and tired or being so awesome...and winning so much! I even made hats..."Make Sugarhouse 3rd Ward Great Again".
6) I'm the muscle. I go around and break a few knees if people don't pay enough tithing or fast offerings.
7) Ward gossip. I know ALL the dirt on EVERYBODY! That's why they don't dare ex me.
8) We were in the Young Mens and Young Womens...unTIL we suggested "Naughty School Girl" for the stake dance. Hey, a few of the girls dress that way already.
9) Ward? What's a ward? Is it anything like those stake centers that don't actually serve steak?
10) Relief Society Homemaking coordinator. Wait till the sisters show up next Tuesday night and see it's a sex toy party!
11) Ward Welfare Director. Go around and make sure any of the hot young single women in the ward's 'needs' are taken care of. Aw, what the hell, I'd do it for a few of the married ones too.
12) Scout leader. Hey if gays can do it why not a swinger? I'll teach those scouts how to tie a knot in a cherry stem with their tongue. WAY more useful than a square knot.
13) I WAS Primary chorister until they caught me trying to teach the kids In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida for the Primary program. I'm pretty sure that song is about God or something.
14) Actually, the ward just got done building a huge fence all the way around my property...and they got Mexico to pay for it.
15) I'm starting my own competing ward. Only 1 and 1/2 hours of meetings, wine instead of water (and hors d'oeuvres and tapas instead of bread). Oh, and a coffee kiosk in the back corner of the chapel. Nobody falls asleep in MY ward during Sac. mtg.!
1) Ward skank. Mow my lawn and/or do other stuff in skimpy, non-garment approved clothing. It's a very important job in that it makes the other ward members feel better about themselves, superior if you will.
2) Ward outcast. After years of trying to get me to do other stuff (like even my home/visiting teaching) they gave up and made me the lowest caste in the ward. Now nobody is allowed to touch or even talk to or acknowledge me. It's actually a pretty sweet gig.
3) Ward project. They're constantly trying to get me (us) to come back to church or go to Relief Society or the root beer social the Elder's Quorum is putting on.
4) We're the ward no-Mo's. Not Mormon, never have been, never will be...but that doesn't stop them from trying to convert us. CONSTANTLY!
5) I'm the Bish, duh! It's because I'm really awesome and a winner and I'm rich, really rich. And everybody likes me. They knew that if they made me Bish I'd make the ward so awesome that everyone would get sick and tired or being so awesome...and winning so much! I even made hats..."Make Sugarhouse 3rd Ward Great Again".
6) I'm the muscle. I go around and break a few knees if people don't pay enough tithing or fast offerings.
7) Ward gossip. I know ALL the dirt on EVERYBODY! That's why they don't dare ex me.
8) We were in the Young Mens and Young Womens...unTIL we suggested "Naughty School Girl" for the stake dance. Hey, a few of the girls dress that way already.
9) Ward? What's a ward? Is it anything like those stake centers that don't actually serve steak?
10) Relief Society Homemaking coordinator. Wait till the sisters show up next Tuesday night and see it's a sex toy party!
11) Ward Welfare Director. Go around and make sure any of the hot young single women in the ward's 'needs' are taken care of. Aw, what the hell, I'd do it for a few of the married ones too.
12) Scout leader. Hey if gays can do it why not a swinger? I'll teach those scouts how to tie a knot in a cherry stem with their tongue. WAY more useful than a square knot.
13) I WAS Primary chorister until they caught me trying to teach the kids In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida for the Primary program. I'm pretty sure that song is about God or something.
14) Actually, the ward just got done building a huge fence all the way around my property...and they got Mexico to pay for it.
15) I'm starting my own competing ward. Only 1 and 1/2 hours of meetings, wine instead of water (and hors d'oeuvres and tapas instead of bread). Oh, and a coffee kiosk in the back corner of the chapel. Nobody falls asleep in MY ward during Sac. mtg.!
...channel tuned to?
A. FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. WE BOTH LOVE IT!!!
A. FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. WE BOTH LOVE IT!!!
CLASSYPASSION wrote:
...channel tuned to?
A. FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. WE BOTH LOVE IT!!!
You guys seem like our type of people! Sunday Football all DAY!
1,2,&3. It's a tough job, but hey somebody's gotta do it! Oh and I can't wait to dig in to that apple crisp the relief society brought over yesterday. Thank goodness I was braless in a tight tanktop when they showed up. Today's lesson in modesty pretty much wrote itself.
GLITZY wrote:CLASSYPASSION wrote:
...channel tuned to?
A. FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. WE BOTH LOVE IT!!!
You guys seem like our type of people! Sunday Football all DAY!
Glitzy loves football! LOL...we have got to hang with you two! wink wink!
football, hot tub, sex. dont get any better.
Firmly in the #4 camp. I'm happy to say my calling usually involves being called back to bed by a guy anxious for me to have more orgasms than he does.