Thanks and appreciation to everyone who came, and for the goodies you brought to help make it a better party.
Special thanks to the two who came early to help me get everything ready. With Dana having had unexpected surgery the past week and just getting home late Saturday, I had to do all the shopping and food related stuff as well as all the yard work and stuff, and if you hadn't shown up I'd never have gotten things ready on time.
And Dana has asked me to tell everyone she's really sorry she couldn't participate, but she still wasn't feeling at all well and, as you know, was in the house sleeping during the barbecue.
For those who had said they were coming but couldn't, and let me know, thanks. This thing took a lot of preparation, from figuring out how many tables and chairs were needed and getting them to figuring out what and how much food to buy. It was really important to know both how many were actually coming and what they wanted and who wasn't going to be able to make it.
For the few people who said, through either a party RSVP or message, that they were coming then didn't, and never contacted me, including not answering my request for confirmation on Wednesday, which included a specific request for a response if you weren't going to come, or my follow up request on Thursday, you should really have a little more consideration for others. This wasn't a commercial enterprise sponsored event, where the hosts routinely expect about 50% of the RSVPs to actually attend, and who have the resources on hand in case more than expected show up.
When it's just regular people putting something together, it means investing their time, work, and money to try to ensure that everyone who comes has an enjoyable experience. When someone says they're coming and doesn't let the hosts know that they can't make it, doesn't even reply to requests for either confirmation or regrets, it makes things harder. At the least, it results in someone buying unneeded stuff just in case the non-repliers do actually show up. I can only hope you'll keep these things in mind the next time you say you're attending something being put together by just ordinary people, then for whatever reason do not or cannot attend.
Special thanks to the two who came early to help me get everything ready. With Dana having had unexpected surgery the past week and just getting home late Saturday, I had to do all the shopping and food related stuff as well as all the yard work and stuff, and if you hadn't shown up I'd never have gotten things ready on time.
And Dana has asked me to tell everyone she's really sorry she couldn't participate, but she still wasn't feeling at all well and, as you know, was in the house sleeping during the barbecue.
For those who had said they were coming but couldn't, and let me know, thanks. This thing took a lot of preparation, from figuring out how many tables and chairs were needed and getting them to figuring out what and how much food to buy. It was really important to know both how many were actually coming and what they wanted and who wasn't going to be able to make it.
For the few people who said, through either a party RSVP or message, that they were coming then didn't, and never contacted me, including not answering my request for confirmation on Wednesday, which included a specific request for a response if you weren't going to come, or my follow up request on Thursday, you should really have a little more consideration for others. This wasn't a commercial enterprise sponsored event, where the hosts routinely expect about 50% of the RSVPs to actually attend, and who have the resources on hand in case more than expected show up.
When it's just regular people putting something together, it means investing their time, work, and money to try to ensure that everyone who comes has an enjoyable experience. When someone says they're coming and doesn't let the hosts know that they can't make it, doesn't even reply to requests for either confirmation or regrets, it makes things harder. At the least, it results in someone buying unneeded stuff just in case the non-repliers do actually show up. I can only hope you'll keep these things in mind the next time you say you're attending something being put together by just ordinary people, then for whatever reason do not or cannot attend.
We had a good time at the bbq. For those who missed it hopefully next time. Unfortunately it is common for some to say they will attend and then not have the courtesy to atleast call to cancel. Money and time is wasted because you can't take one minute. Can you say disrespect?
What I wouldn't give for a publicly-available list of people who do this..... The Swinger List of Shame....
I have found that because it's considered (highly) taboo to publicly out people who do this, the same people do it again, and again, and again. Fool us once, shame on us... fool us twice, we must be swingers where we defend and protect people who do that kind of shit.
I have found that because it's considered (highly) taboo to publicly out people who do this, the same people do it again, and again, and again. Fool us once, shame on us... fool us twice, we must be swingers where we defend and protect people who do that kind of shit.
I guess I'm trying to point out that there's a difference in the effects between RSVPing then just not going to an event or party where you pay for going, or even if it's free, like MnGs, where the hosts do things regularly and already expect about half the people who responded to not be there, and doing the same thing when it's just some couple having something at their house.
I understand that stuff can come up unexpectedly, it even did for us when Dana had to have surgery a few days before the BBQ, so nobody can expect every person who responds a couple weeks before the party to show up. But preparing some things, like A BBQ, requires knowing how many people will be there. That's why I sent everyone a message asking for a confirmation on Wednesday (actually real early Thursday morning) or to reply telling me they couldn't come. And another message on Friday to anyone who didn't reply to the first.
Because there can even be a legitimate reason for someone not re[plying to either even when they are going to come, like the computer being down fo a couple days or something, the hosts really can't assume any non-responder won't be there. So they have to include them in the preparations just in case they do show up. It's different than a "commercially" sponsored party or event.
It isn't as bad as making a date then not showing up and not letting the people or person know, but at many levels it's really the same thing.
I understand that stuff can come up unexpectedly, it even did for us when Dana had to have surgery a few days before the BBQ, so nobody can expect every person who responds a couple weeks before the party to show up. But preparing some things, like A BBQ, requires knowing how many people will be there. That's why I sent everyone a message asking for a confirmation on Wednesday (actually real early Thursday morning) or to reply telling me they couldn't come. And another message on Friday to anyone who didn't reply to the first.
Because there can even be a legitimate reason for someone not re[plying to either even when they are going to come, like the computer being down fo a couple days or something, the hosts really can't assume any non-responder won't be there. So they have to include them in the preparations just in case they do show up. It's different than a "commercially" sponsored party or event.
It isn't as bad as making a date then not showing up and not letting the people or person know, but at many levels it's really the same thing.
TMACA wrote:
Thanks and appreciation to everyone who came, and for the goodies you brought to help make it a better party.
Special thanks to the two who came early to help me get everything ready. With Dana having had unexpected surgery the past week and just getting home late Saturday, I had to do all the shopping and food related stuff as well as all the yard work and stuff, and if you hadn't shown up I'd never have gotten things ready on time.
And Dana has asked me to tell everyone she's really sorry she couldn't participate, but she still wasn't feeling at all well and, as you know, was in the house sleeping during the barbecue.
For those who had said they were coming but couldn't, and let me know, thanks. This thing took a lot of preparation, from figuring out how many tables and chairs were needed and getting them to figuring out what and how much food to buy. It was really important to know both how many were actually coming and what they wanted and who wasn't going to be able to make it.
For the few people who said, through either a party RSVP or message, that they were coming then didn't, and never contacted me, including not answering my request for confirmation on Wednesday, which included a specific request for a response if you weren't going to come, or my follow up request on Thursday, you should really have a little more consideration for others. This wasn't a commercial enterprise sponsored event, where the hosts routinely expect about 50% of the RSVPs to actually attend, and who have the resources on hand in case more than expected show up.
When it's just regular people putting something together, it means investing their time, work, and money to try to ensure that everyone who comes has an enjoyable experience. When someone says they're coming and doesn't let the hosts know that they can't make it, doesn't even reply to requests for either confirmation or regrets, it makes things harder. At the least, it results in someone buying unneeded stuff just in case the non-repliers do actually show up. I can only hope you'll keep these things in mind the next time you say you're attending something being put together by just ordinary people, then for whatever reason do not or cannot attend.
So... you had a barbecue at your place a couple of days after your wife had emergency surgery? Am I the only who thinks that's some bizarre shit? Did you let our guests know that she wasn't going to be attending? If not, you failed to communicate a change in plans, just like your no-shows did.
I agree that not giving you a heads up is discourteous, but this is the LS, and it happens. Stop your long winded whining and get over it.
We have rsvped to parties or events and have never gotten any response back from the host which is telling us that we are either not the type of people they want at their party or west ever.
We hosted a very fun party this weekend which i wish to thank those who came.
We had both kinda responses your talk about and for the most part those who couldn't make it let us know and others simply didn't show but either way we plan accordingly and have found that having a open party postc on the party board pepole tend to RSVP to them hoping for a confermation and are also showing their interest in attending. We find it much simpler and effective to send out personal invites. Sorry you had done bad feelings and hope you have a better exsperance next time.
We hosted a very fun party this weekend which i wish to thank those who came.
We had both kinda responses your talk about and for the most part those who couldn't make it let us know and others simply didn't show but either way we plan accordingly and have found that having a open party postc on the party board pepole tend to RSVP to them hoping for a confermation and are also showing their interest in attending. We find it much simpler and effective to send out personal invites. Sorry you had done bad feelings and hope you have a better exsperance next time.
Experienced_Virgin wrote:
So... you had a barbecue at your place a couple of days after your wife had emergency surgery? Am I the only who thinks that's some bizarre shit? Did you let our guests know that she wasn't going to be attending? If not, you failed to communicate a change in plans, just like your no-shows did.
I agree that not giving you a heads up is discourteous, but this is the LS, and it happens. Stop your long winded whining and get over it.
I guess it wasn't "long winded" enough since you aren't aware that, first, the thing had been in planning for a month, a whole lot of prep (including food that wouldn't have gotten used otherwise)HAD BEEN DONE, and the peoplre coming had made plans to be there that weekend. And we didn't even know there was a real problem until late Tuesday night, and until Friday afternoon we both had thought Dana'd be home and at the BBQ. And when we found out she'd be home but wouldn't be in good enough shape to actually be at the BBQ we decided to go ahead rather than tell everyone it was cancelled at the last minute. And as for a change in plans, you seem to be unaware that it was made clear to everyone that it would NOT be a play party, just a BBQ, so nobody was coming thinking they'd be playing with her or anyone else. If it was a play party then yes, the host wife not attending would have been a change that might have affected someone coming or not, but it wasn't.
And yeah, it "is the lifestyle", and you have to expect to run into flakes sometimes. But you don't expect it when you made a point of telling everyone that you would be asking for confirmations a couple days before and needed replies one way or the other, explained why the replies were important, did send out the confirmation requests, and even sent a second one to anyone that didn't reply to the first. And again explained why an answer was important. All of which makes it just a little more inconsiderate than the typical "yes, well meet you at such and such a place at such and such a time," then not showing or even communicating that can happen sometimes.
How is Dana this week, feeling better I hope? She must have been pretty frustrated to have all this go on at the same time, no one likes to feel they're letting their guests down and she had to have been feeling awful to finally say, "I can't do this, go ahead w/o me." And I'm sure you were frustrated as well, since you looked forward to doing it together and then your attention was split w/ great concern for her well-being and the enjoyable time of your guests.
After getting stuck w/ a bunch of cooked meat from a very wrong head count, I will only have BYO meat parties, b/c the frustration isn't worth the effort and takes a lot of the fun away.
After getting stuck w/ a bunch of cooked meat from a very wrong head count, I will only have BYO meat parties, b/c the frustration isn't worth the effort and takes a lot of the fun away.