...orgasm?
1) I invoke the name of my Creator. There's never a bad time to give glory to Him.
2) I scream the name (if I can remember it) of the person I happen to be fucking at that particular moment.
3) I don't say anything...I'm too busy drooling and looking like I'm having a severe seizure. (Hey YOUR "O" face ain't all that pretty either, bucko!)
4) I shout out a bunch of gibberish or alternatively a string of swear words that would make a sufferer of Tourette's Syndrome proud.
5) I recite sexually explicit love poems that I've extemporaneously composed for that particular moment.
6) I burst into song, singing the Hallelujah Chorus...or Prince's "Pussy Control" depending on how good the orgasm is.
7) I don't really know what I say or do. I'll have to check the video from the hidden cameras.
8) "Biscuits and gravy!"
9) "Ay! Jodeme, Papi!"
10) Jodeme...er I mean, fuck me...and find out for yourself.
11) Who the fuck cares? All I know is I'm NOT gettin' my fair share of swinger nookie and Donald Trump (or at least his hair) is still ahead of Rev. Huckabee in the polls. Fuck my life!
12) "Madalyn Murray O'Hair (oh my!)". (Spoken in the cadence of "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!")
1) I invoke the name of my Creator. There's never a bad time to give glory to Him.
2) I scream the name (if I can remember it) of the person I happen to be fucking at that particular moment.
3) I don't say anything...I'm too busy drooling and looking like I'm having a severe seizure. (Hey YOUR "O" face ain't all that pretty either, bucko!)
4) I shout out a bunch of gibberish or alternatively a string of swear words that would make a sufferer of Tourette's Syndrome proud.
5) I recite sexually explicit love poems that I've extemporaneously composed for that particular moment.
6) I burst into song, singing the Hallelujah Chorus...or Prince's "Pussy Control" depending on how good the orgasm is.
7) I don't really know what I say or do. I'll have to check the video from the hidden cameras.
8) "Biscuits and gravy!"
9) "Ay! Jodeme, Papi!"
10) Jodeme...er I mean, fuck me...and find out for yourself.
11) Who the fuck cares? All I know is I'm NOT gettin' my fair share of swinger nookie and Donald Trump (or at least his hair) is still ahead of Rev. Huckabee in the polls. Fuck my life!
12) "Madalyn Murray O'Hair (oh my!)". (Spoken in the cadence of "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!")
"oooooaaawwwwww, quit it, that tickles"
Hmmmm, not sure but you MAY be doing it (sex) wrong.
Hmmmm, not sure but you MAY be doing it (sex) wrong.
Jeff, the God of Biscuits.
ILLUSTRATOR wrote:
Definitely 1. with a side of 8. (Yes, Yes, Yes...) My Ecumenical upbringing requires verbal offerings to Him whenever reaching exaltation.
What's funny is that now that I'm sexing an atheist on the regular and consider myself an atheist my exultant ecumenical exhortations take us both right out of the moment. I'm seriously thinking of going back to filthy talk. :/
ETA: I do say, "Mercy." quite a bit and his response of, "I'll show you none." gets me going more.
CHEFFETTE wrote:ILLUSTRATOR wrote:
Definitely 1. with a side of 8. (Yes, Yes, Yes...) My Ecumenical upbringing requires verbal offerings to Him whenever reaching exaltation.
What's funny is that now that I'm sexing an atheist on the regular and consider myself an atheist my exultant ecumenical exhortations take us both right out of the moment. I'm seriously thinking of going back to filthy talk. :/
ETA: I do say, "Mercy." quite a bit and his response of, "I'll show you none." gets me going more.
I added one just for you CHEFFY...(#12)
EVILDOERS wrote:CHEFFETTE wrote:
[quote=ILLUSTRATOR]Definitely 1. with a side of 8. (Yes, Yes, Yes...) My Ecumenical upbringing requires verbal offerings to Him whenever reaching exaltation.
What's funny is that now that I'm sexing an atheist on the regular and consider myself an atheist my exultant ecumenical exhortations take us both right out of the moment. I'm seriously thinking of going back to filthy talk. :/
ETA: I do say, "Mercy." quite a bit and his response of, "I'll show you none." gets me going more.
I added one just for you CHEFFY...(#12)[/quote]
Good gracious, that is wonderful and I'm so going to use it during cunnilingus.
ETA: I wonder how much he'd hate, 'Oh my heck!'
CHEFFETTE wrote:EVILDOERS wrote:
[quote=CHEFFETTE][quote=ILLUSTRATOR]Definitely 1. with a side of 8. (Yes, Yes, Yes...) My Ecumenical upbringing requires verbal offerings to Him whenever reaching exaltation.
What's funny is that now that I'm sexing an atheist on the regular and consider myself an atheist my exultant ecumenical exhortations take us both right out of the moment. I'm seriously thinking of going back to filthy talk. :/
ETA: I do say, "Mercy." quite a bit and his response of, "I'll show you none." gets me going more.
I added one just for you CHEFFY...(#12)[/quote]
Good gracious, that is wonderful and I'm so going to use it during cunnilingus.
ETA: I wonder how much he'd hate, 'Oh my heck!'[/quote]
I double dog dare ya to say, "Oh my heck, that flippin' feels so fetchin' good! Keep frickin' doin' that to my dainty little flower! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Cheese and crackers!"
That is classified information we give out, in person, on a need to know basis. We are often happy to share it with people that think that they might need to know.
Number 1 and for sure number 7
Sometimes #1.....
Sometimes "ooooo eeeeeee, baby!
Sometimes I even stand up and beat my hands on my chest and do the Tarzan yell
It all depends....
And Her?? I think it's something in Japanese....
Sometimes "ooooo eeeeeee, baby!
Sometimes I even stand up and beat my hands on my chest and do the Tarzan yell
It all depends....
And Her?? I think it's something in Japanese....
I admit it. I have a bro crush on Rev. Huckabee. Or "my little Huckleberry" as I call him. But to answer your question, yes, Trump's hair qualifies as an aberrant fetish.
Hey now, that's enough! For all we know that furry little symbiotic creature who lives on the top of his head is a friendly, benevolent being who wants to help us and doesn't intend to enslave mankind and ultimately raise us like livestock to feed to the others of his species.
I just bite down on my canoli and suck out the mascarpone. MMMM. Mascarpone. Only a truly good religious person would hate mascarpone!
JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:
I just bite down on my canoli and suck out the mascarpone. MMMM. Mascarpone. Only a truly good religious person would hate mascarpone!
Seriously? You can do that? I'm so jelly! You must be like double jointed or into yoga and shit. Ya caught me. Yup, I'm a closeted General Authority. I was gonna just get an Ashley Madison account but I thought, "Go big, or go home." so I got a full on swinger account and I go to orgies and secretly pray for (I anoint them with oil too but they think I'm just sharin' my lube) the souls of those disgusting filthy perverts fucking each other around me. But I'd totally give up my sweet gig as a GA if I could autofellate like you, bro.
And as far as mascarpone...I mean what's up with shit that sounds like it should be something you scrape off your nuts when you haven't showered for a week or two?
If you only knew the benefits of Mascarpone, you'd suck down 20 gallons per day.
JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:
If you only knew the benefits of Mascarpone, you'd suck down 20 gallons per day.
Nice try. I once tried to tell my wife that swallowing Mascarpone (we actually call it semen, but whatever you crazy kids are callin' it these days...) was good for her skin, burned fat and cured split ends. She didn't believe that one either.
So I Googled nutrition facts for Mascarpone cheese. It has about 125 calories per ounce. There are 128 ounces in a gallon. So that's about 320,000 calories a day. Based on an average metabolism you'd gain aprox. 100 pounds per day "suck(ing) down" that much of that vile substance.
But as nasty as it is, it's still better than marzipan. I can't even begin to explain how disgusting THAT stuff is.
EVILDOERS wrote:JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:
If you only knew the benefits of Mascarpone, you'd suck down 20 gallons per day.
Nice try. I once tried to tell my wife that swallowing Mascarpone (we actually call it semen, but whatever you crazy kids are callin' it these days...) was good for her skin, burned fat and cured split ends. She didn't believe that one either.
So I Googled nutrition facts for Mascarpone cheese. It has about 125 calories per ounce. There are 128 ounces in a gallon. So that's about 320,000 calories a day. Based on an average metabolism you'd gain aprox. 100 pounds per day "suck(ing) down" that much of that vile substance.
But as nasty as it is, it's still better than marzipan. I can't even begin to explain how disgusting THAT stuff is.
Ah, Evil being smart! Btw, wrong kind of ounce. They're referring to the measure of weight, not the measure of volume. You need to find the density of mascarpone for an accurate conversion! Yes, I'm aware that this will probably result in more calories than you estimated.
Well I'll ask Martha Stewart or Paula Deen the next time I see them. In the mean time, enjoy this photo of a young lady hoping to cash in like Jared Fogle did by sculpting her body with the all Mascarpone diet.
How the fuck did Mascarpone and autofellatio devolve into monkey dick chewing?!!?
Oh the humanity!
Oh the humanity!
And on a wholly unrelated note...be prepared for a HUGE influx of men looking for NSA nookie now that it's been revealed (along with their email addys and other pertinent info) that they were hitting on bots over on the Ashley Madison site. Word is out that there is free poontang to be had here on Swingular and they'll be signing up in DROVES...just as soon as they figure out HOW in the world a person can have TWO email addresses (and different passwords!).
EVILDOERS wrote:
And on a wholly unrelated note...be prepared for a HUGE influx of men looking for NSA nookie now that it's been revealed (along with their email addys and other pertinent info) that they were hitting on bots over on the Ashley Madison site. Word is out that there is free poontang to be had here on Swingular and they'll be signing up in DROVES...just as soon as they figure out HOW in the world a person can have TWO email addresses (and different passwords!).
Monty Python!
OH! I wet 'em.
I knew an atheist woman who would scream "Oh my God". I always though that was funny.