I do mental health, sexual health, and pro-relationship activism. I couldn't help but have my heart sink reading this man. He's been so heavily gaslighted and emotionally abused he has no clue his partner is using him as a babysitter while she runs around and fucks other guys for kicks.
If you have to use an ideology to emasculate yourself to therefore be ok with an alternative lifestyle, you're doing it for the wrong fucking reasons.
He doesn't understand monogamy, open relationships, polyamory. He has no clue what a healthy relationship looks like. And he has NO CLUE what women go through in being SAHMs, or the perception they get.
I can't anymore this is a steeping pile of dogshit.
Ladies don't do this to your men, and men don't do this shit to your ladies.
http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/07/what-open-marriage-taught-one-man-about-feminism.html
If you have to use an ideology to emasculate yourself to therefore be ok with an alternative lifestyle, you're doing it for the wrong fucking reasons.
He doesn't understand monogamy, open relationships, polyamory. He has no clue what a healthy relationship looks like. And he has NO CLUE what women go through in being SAHMs, or the perception they get.
I can't anymore this is a steeping pile of dogshit.
Ladies don't do this to your men, and men don't do this shit to your ladies.
http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/07/what-open-marriage-taught-one-man-about-feminism.html
Meh, aren't most married guys closet cucks anyway? At least those involved in swinging? What kind of self respecting dood would willingly let his woman fuck another dood...under ANY circumstances? 
Clickable link: Married Doods Are Wimpy Little Cucks
Clickable link: Married Doods Are Wimpy Little Cucks
EVILDOERS wrote:
Meh, aren't most married guys closet cucks anyway? At least those involved in swinging? What kind of self respecting dood would willingly let his woman fuck another dood...under ANY circumstances?
Clickable link: Married Doods Are Wimpy Little Cucks
Different strokes for different folks. The language he uses, the tone of the piece suggests he's an unwilling participant and doesn't feel he can tell her that. Notice she had already started emotionally cheating BEFORE they even discussed an open relationship. If you put this man in a therapist's chair and started asking questions he would start lamenting he has to live a lifestyle he doesn't agree with because he thinks that the ideology he has to follow to be a good person tells him to.
Now if you didn't catch the analogy to conservative Christian (especially Mormons) thought then....
It's not ok when organized religion does it, it's not ok when spouses do it to each other.
Yes, my comment was meant facetiously. It was in reference to a very common misconception about swinging husbands who would "allow" their wives to fuck another man. But I do find the comments to the article quite amusing. From a historical perspective it's only been very recently that many women have dared to do things that men have done openly or not so openly for millennia. And yes, the influence of most religions can't be overlooked as to their propagation of patriarchal privilege when it comes to male sexual dalliances.
Like it or not the younger generation places far less stock in monogamy than their parents and grandparents. It's likely a result of having seen first hand divorce after divorce and being part of the fallout from so many failed marriages. That's one reason I find it so disingenuous that some people claim same sex marriage will somehow devalue heterosexual marriage. It's been devalued plenty all by itself. It sounds like this gentleman has free rein to play on his own but simply doesn't do so very often. Probably supply and demand just like in swinging where single (or hall pass) ladies have FAR more opportunities than do men.
Reading the article, it is obviously lacking any input from the wife, so it slants heavily to "this guy is a whiner". I can;t decide if he is happy with the situation, unhappy, just hoping it is a phase for her or what.
He does mention, briefly, that he gets to go out and play as well. he comments that he does not as often as his wife, but as we all know, it is certainly easier for a woman to find a man (or many men) than for a guy on his own to find a woman. (Ask me how I know
) Again, he just sounds blah, blah, of woe is me.
And it would appear that they can never go out a swing together since they won;t hire a sitter and instead have to have one of them home with the kids , mostly him.
Overall, I have no idea why he wrote this unless he is looking for sympathy (and maybe a woman to offer to help him out)
He does mention, briefly, that he gets to go out and play as well. he comments that he does not as often as his wife, but as we all know, it is certainly easier for a woman to find a man (or many men) than for a guy on his own to find a woman. (Ask me how I know
) Again, he just sounds blah, blah, of woe is me.And it would appear that they can never go out a swing together since they won;t hire a sitter and instead have to have one of them home with the kids , mostly him.
Overall, I have no idea why he wrote this unless he is looking for sympathy (and maybe a woman to offer to help him out)
There are many in agreement w/ you, OP. I think the writer has a few good points about the patriarchy and misogyny but no, he hasn't embraced what he thinks he's embraced. He's rationalized away what will eventually eat the relationship alive and it's nothing to do w/ feminism or lack thereof.
I know more than a few people (some even here in Swingular Land) who consider ANY form of marriage (open or otherwise) akin to castration. 
And fwiw I don't think that allowing your wife the freedom to express herself sexually necessarily emasculates a man or lowers him to the level of cuckold (despite my tongue in cheek link title). And I think the OP is being more than a little judgmental making such sweeping statements about another man and his relationship based solely on reading a short one page web article.
EVILDOERS wrote:
And fwiw I don't think that allowing your wife the freedom to express herself sexually necessarily emasculates a man or lowers him to the level of cuckold (despite my tongue in cheek link title). And I think the OP is being more than a little judgmental making such sweeping statements about another man and his relationship based solely on reading a short one page web article.
I never said allowing your wife to express herself sexually emasculates a man, I said he's not really ok with it, at least on a subconscious level.
If you've ever been in a sexually abusive relationship it's plain as day that this man is being manipulated and emotionally abused for her sexual gratification. I'm not making sweeping judgements out of malice or contempt for him. I'm making a very pointed argument based on my experience with abuse.
"I'm not making sweeping judgements..."
Well alrighty then...I guess I mistook your kind comments at the start of this thread.
Well alrighty then...I guess I mistook your kind comments at the start of this thread.
Well fuck him. He needs to grow up and be a man! I don't think he will get a sympathetic ear on here. A fundamental concept of the lifestyle is mutual consent. If it is missing then as we often see on here they will eventually split.
Consent is far more than seeking out some strange at a party. It has be begin at home. We know couples that if in the week before a party they have not had great sex then they forgo the party. For us if we're having any type issue we never play or party.
Perhaps my comments are self serving as with all of us were seeking that all elusive unicorn and he may be in the process of creating one.
Consent is far more than seeking out some strange at a party. It has be begin at home. We know couples that if in the week before a party they have not had great sex then they forgo the party. For us if we're having any type issue we never play or party.
Perhaps my comments are self serving as with all of us were seeking that all elusive unicorn and he may be in the process of creating one.
EVILDOERS wrote:
"I'm not making sweeping judgements..."
Well alrighty then...I guess I mistook your kind comments at the start of this thread.
Nice. I love to be taken out of context for your amusement.
Taken out of context? What part of "heavily gaslighted", "emotionally abused", "emasculate yourself", "wrong fucking reasons", "he has no clue", "he has NO CLUE", and "steeping pile of dogshit" did I misconstrue? Look, for all I know you're right. This guy could be a ginormous twatwaffley cuck who cowers when his wife walks into the room and demands to wear his boxer briefs as she gets ready to go fuck the Brisbane Broncos rugby team. I simply think that basing your harsh diagnosis on a one page internet article is presumptuous at best and yes, entirely judgmental. You don't know these people and you don't know their relationship. To say that it rises to anywhere near the level of a sexually abusive relationship is simply your personal bias showing through.
The use of the word feminism has no use in this article. Being a male or female feminist has no point in this article. I think he uses the word as his excuse for letting it begin and continue. Even after long talks and an ocean of wine. Geez.
Am not sure when you think the abuse started, was it after he thought he was now a feminist or after drinking all that wine with her while their children had to deal with their immature parents?
The only abuse in this article is how the children are talked about, an after thought.
His only justification for his apparent situation is listening to her new found sex life.
They both made a choice, as stated it was a decision made by both. Personally, the abuse is that he wrote this pointless article and I lost a few minutes of my life reading it.
Am not sure when you think the abuse started, was it after he thought he was now a feminist or after drinking all that wine with her while their children had to deal with their immature parents?
The only abuse in this article is how the children are talked about, an after thought.
His only justification for his apparent situation is listening to her new found sex life.
They both made a choice, as stated it was a decision made by both. Personally, the abuse is that he wrote this pointless article and I lost a few minutes of my life reading it.
EVILDOERS wrote:
demands to wear his boxer briefs as she gets ready to go fuck the Brisbane Broncos rugby team.
Evil, I feel you have gone to far here.
it is an established fact that the Brisbane Broncos prefer their women to wear tighty whities before they fuck. Geeze, you have to watch everything these days or the Internet will start all kinds of wild rumors.
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:EVILDOERS wrote:
Meh, aren't most married guys closet cucks anyway? At least those involved in swinging? What kind of self respecting dood would willingly let his woman fuck another dood...under ANY circumstances?
Clickable link: Married Doods Are Wimpy Little Cucks
Totally disagree, but I know it's just humor. Swinging husbands are actually often damned good lovers and therefore not easily threatened.
Mrs. Delicious
AND have Damn Good lovers, at least thats what I noticed
GOODFUN2 wrote:EVILDOERS wrote:
demands to wear his boxer briefs as she gets ready to go fuck the Brisbane Broncos rugby team.
Evil, I feel you have gone to far here.
it is an established fact that the Brisbane Broncos prefer their women to wear tighty whities before they fuck. Geeze, you have to watch everything these days or the Internet will start all kinds of wild rumors.
Shit, you're right. I was thinking of the Canberra Brumbies. Those blokes from Brisbane are a bunch of bloody wallaby wankers who unceremoniously dumped Savage Garden on an unsuspecting world.
