How do you feel when you get an email from a prospective playmate who refuses to share pics with you, especially if you yourself have pics posted on your own account?
How do you feel about the people who claim to have "high public profile" jobs and therefore can not post pics? Is it fair that they can see you but you must take them at their word for a physical discription and potentially meet with them sight unseen?
How do you feel about people who have had the same pics on their account for a year or more, and have not taken newer pics to reflect how they look now?
These are a few of the things I ponder about pictures...(as someone I know once said)....there are others....LOL
How do you feel about the people who claim to have "high public profile" jobs and therefore can not post pics? Is it fair that they can see you but you must take them at their word for a physical discription and potentially meet with them sight unseen?
How do you feel about people who have had the same pics on their account for a year or more, and have not taken newer pics to reflect how they look now?
These are a few of the things I ponder about pictures...(as someone I know once said)....there are others....LOL
We don't mind if they feel they cannot post pics on the net but we must have them emailed to us, clear face pics and preferably together "G" fine.
No pic no individual meet ... BUT... go to a club we are at and come up to introduce yourself is fine.
Old pics=lazy...New or changing pics= probably more fun people
In fact we use this in our profile:
" Looks are important but must also have compatible personality. Pictures are required before any meeting "G" are fine. We also believe that couples that do not have a scanner or digital photography should not be involved in the lifestyle on the internet and for those that send genitalia shots we are always happy to recommend a good gynecologist. "
No pic no individual meet ... BUT... go to a club we are at and come up to introduce yourself is fine.
Old pics=lazy...New or changing pics= probably more fun people
In fact we use this in our profile:
" Looks are important but must also have compatible personality. Pictures are required before any meeting "G" are fine. We also believe that couples that do not have a scanner or digital photography should not be involved in the lifestyle on the internet and for those that send genitalia shots we are always happy to recommend a good gynecologist. "
It would be a very tough sell for us to meet someone without seeing their picture first. We never understand why you cant post a picture, g rated is fine, these days. Gone are the days when people dont have digital cameras or scanners. Even if you dont, there are a million places that scan them for you or when you get your film developed you can get a dick or cd of all the pics along with the prints! We can understand if people want to be discreet and not post them on a site, but once you have made contact and emailed each othre back and forth and are comfortable then it should be a no brainer. It helps in the process too, although looks are not everything there has to be an attraction, why go through the laborous process of setting up a meeting and getting to gether just to have to tell someone thanks but no thanks!
Hi
Please respect the privacy of other couples. Here in the Netherlands, our tiny little country, its very normal that faces are hidden. A couple will send you always a face picture via email and if not, you know where to throw that email in...
Never had problems with that.
We do find that every couple should at least have some pictures (without face if desired) with their profile. Just to give an idea..:m
Bea and Alex
Please respect the privacy of other couples. Here in the Netherlands, our tiny little country, its very normal that faces are hidden. A couple will send you always a face picture via email and if not, you know where to throw that email in...
Never had problems with that.
We do find that every couple should at least have some pictures (without face if desired) with their profile. Just to give an idea..:m
Bea and Alex
Speaking as 2 ppl who do have one of those "high profile public" jobs,g-rated pics are not a issue with us. The way I look at it if they are here and looking then well damnit they are looking for the same thing we are. In my job *becky*,I don't run into ppl in the lifestyle all that often at the office but there is a chance everytime I have to city hall or the jail that someone who works there may just reconzie me from a site....my thinking like stated above they must be looking also. Jimmy on the other hand is out and in the public eye all the time so chances are greater for him but he feels the same way and besides if you saw him at work and then saw him on a site or in a club well lets just say 
you reconize him you are GOOD and deserve to. I can however understand why some ppl who live in postage stamp size towns don't want a pic on the profile those places can be vicious everyone knows everyone and their grandmas LOL. But sending through email after several emails or conversations via the net or phone should constitute a degree of trust to get them that way. As for no pic,no meet well makes sense you wanna know what they look like that way you aren't sitting there looking goofy waiting to order a drink because you are "waiting on someone to join you". Just our 2 cents.
Jimmy and Becky
you reconize him you are GOOD and deserve to. I can however understand why some ppl who live in postage stamp size towns don't want a pic on the profile those places can be vicious everyone knows everyone and their grandmas LOL. But sending through email after several emails or conversations via the net or phone should constitute a degree of trust to get them that way. As for no pic,no meet well makes sense you wanna know what they look like that way you aren't sitting there looking goofy waiting to order a drink because you are "waiting on someone to join you". Just our 2 cents.Jimmy and Becky
If you are wanting to meet a new couple, how could you hook up if you don't know what they look like. We don't think it would be cool or fair for the prospective couple to be checking you out anonymously, knowing what you look like, while you are clueless. Seeing as everyone must have some kind of email to be on the internet and into one of these sites, some type of photo exchange must take place prior to meeting.
We tend to be careful about sending our pic because there seem to be a lot of collectors out there, but I think most people realize it's part of the process, especially if you're getting serious about meeting a couple. We usually prefer to exchange emails or chat first because we want the other person's picture to be part of the impression we get of them, not the whole thing. But our rule of thumb when somebody IMs us is, if one of their first three messages is "got a pic?", either they're phony or we're not looking for the same thing, so it's best to move on.
We don't post public pics because o my job, but we never expect another couple to meet us with out seeing a pic, and we don't meet anyone without it. We broke that rule one time only and he had NO teeth and she looked like she had not had a bath in weeks SO we do see a pic before we meet face to face.
Sugar
Sugar
We always expect to see pics first before meeting. Today with Kinkos, walgreens, walmart, BJ's and such all having scanners there is no reason not to have a current pic to send when you are serious about meeting someone.
High profile jobs/comfort level can prevent from posting pics to a profile, but it's not a valid excuse to not email them. If they are g-rate there is nothing to worry about.
High profile jobs/comfort level can prevent from posting pics to a profile, but it's not a valid excuse to not email them. If they are g-rate there is nothing to worry about.
We nearly always require a photo of both before meeting. Not to seem shallow here, but if there is no physical attraction, no initial chemistry, the odds of anything developing later are slim indeed.
Having said that, we did meet one couple without seeing a pic and it developed into a wonderful, ongoing relationship!
Hugs & nibbles,
S & G
Having said that, we did meet one couple without seeing a pic and it developed into a wonderful, ongoing relationship!
Hugs & nibbles,
S & G
We agree with everyone on this one. We always insist on seeing a pic of them TOGETHER before we will agree to meet. We have only agreed to meet one couple sight-unseen and thank god they turned out to be great (you know who you are down there in Pt Charlotte 
)
I will mention though that it is becoming really common to get pics emailed to us... BUT they are pics of the couple one at a time, no pics of them together. We are starting to notice a pattern here, it seems that every time we get pictures like this and try to arrange to meet, the couple either mysteriously disappears and never writes again, or they stand us up. (My guess is it's probably single people pretending to be couples to lure couples to palces where they can go sit and watch them sitting there wondering where their dates are!)
Anyone else see this pattern?
Ry and T
)I will mention though that it is becoming really common to get pics emailed to us... BUT they are pics of the couple one at a time, no pics of them together. We are starting to notice a pattern here, it seems that every time we get pictures like this and try to arrange to meet, the couple either mysteriously disappears and never writes again, or they stand us up. (My guess is it's probably single people pretending to be couples to lure couples to palces where they can go sit and watch them sitting there wondering where their dates are!)
Anyone else see this pattern?
Ry and T
One of the best features about this site as well as a few others is the private photo album. It allows the profile owner s) to give access to the photos in question to only those they chose. If you are uncertain about who is real and who is fake, again that is an easy call to make too. There are symbols on profiles who have already been verified ...like ours .VIP verified in person. The REAL symbol is vouched for to be real by an existing verified member. As far as pics are concerned, if someone wants to meet us they will have to find a way to get us a recent photo. The private photo album just makes that so easy. Then a short conversation on the telephone with a persective couple, set a dinner date and then if all are willing....well...use you imagianation!
I hate to admit this, because it seems so darn shallow, but there is something inside me that reacts to seeing pictures. In the absence of pictures, there isn't the same level of excitment.
I guess I've always been a visual learner, and meeting partners is no different!
I guess I've always been a visual learner, and meeting partners is no different!
Hmmmmmm....We love visual learners!
If you love visual learners, then I'm your girl! I like to watch, be watched, and do. Does that cover all the options?
xoxo
xoxo
That covers them all! Maybe a visual teaching aid or two is in order...lol
While I am a visual learner, I am perhaps a slow learner. It might take more than 2 or 3 lessons!!!!!!!!
xoxo
Lizzi
xoxo
Lizzi
We absolutely have to see pictures or web cam with any couple before we meet. Most of us believe similarly that part of the enjoyment of the lifestyle is the friends we make, but lets face it, this is about sex and you don't have sex without attraction (unless you're getting paid for it).
Bottom line is, if they aren't comfortable sharing pictures then we simply won't meet them. They either have something to hide or can't be honest with us.
If they don't "have" any pictures, then they aren't worth our time. If they can't make an effort to provide some of the basic elements of this type of website or environment for meeting, then again, we simply won't meet them.
We support the Administrators efforts to try and get everyone to put pictures with their profile.
Bottom line is, if they aren't comfortable sharing pictures then we simply won't meet them. They either have something to hide or can't be honest with us.
If they don't "have" any pictures, then they aren't worth our time. If they can't make an effort to provide some of the basic elements of this type of website or environment for meeting, then again, we simply won't meet them.
We support the Administrators efforts to try and get everyone to put pictures with their profile.
Sometimes it isn't high profile jobs. In 7 states there are "morales standards" that can be used to remove a nurses licience and their ability to work. The same applies to others in the medical/dental profession and many others that require a board to monitor their life on and off the job.
We do use our picture and send one usually of what we will be wearing taken before meeting. However we find people that are more interested in a persons picture instead of how they think a turn off. And meetings in most cases have proved this to be true. In well over 30 years in the lifestyle trading a nude photo was very uncommon often no pictures at all were used. Postal letters were exchanged and a meeting in a public place were the norm. I have taken many newspapers apart so we could be the ones holding two newspapers.
We do use our picture and send one usually of what we will be wearing taken before meeting. However we find people that are more interested in a persons picture instead of how they think a turn off. And meetings in most cases have proved this to be true. In well over 30 years in the lifestyle trading a nude photo was very uncommon often no pictures at all were used. Postal letters were exchanged and a meeting in a public place were the norm. I have taken many newspapers apart so we could be the ones holding two newspapers.
only 2 or 3 lessons....what if we're slow teachers?
You're right - 2 or 3 lessons aren't likely to be nearly enough! I suspect I'll need dozens of lessons, even if you're outstanding teachers.
Having said that I want to respond to the thoughts about being into this for the mental, as well as the physical.
Those that know me well know that I subscribe to the theory that men are physical lovers and women are mental lovers. (Of course this is a general statement, not 100% factual for every living and breathing person.)
Women tend to be more sensual, men more sexual.
Having said that, I've also admitted that I'm a visual learner. Words, mannerisms, character, intellect, wit are all attractive to me.
But, the simple reality here is that most men, women and couples that participate in sites such as Swingular aren't necessarily looking for a long term, let's have a family relationship.
When you get to that reality, the physical increases in importance.
Truth be told, however, if you stimulate my mind, you do stimulate my body.
Okay, okay, I'm rambling here - pictures are important because of this medium. But, if I was meeting you in a coffee shop or a bar or a restaurant or at a symposium your mind would be important to me, too!
Having said that I want to respond to the thoughts about being into this for the mental, as well as the physical.
Those that know me well know that I subscribe to the theory that men are physical lovers and women are mental lovers. (Of course this is a general statement, not 100% factual for every living and breathing person.)
Women tend to be more sensual, men more sexual.
Having said that, I've also admitted that I'm a visual learner. Words, mannerisms, character, intellect, wit are all attractive to me.
But, the simple reality here is that most men, women and couples that participate in sites such as Swingular aren't necessarily looking for a long term, let's have a family relationship.
When you get to that reality, the physical increases in importance.
Truth be told, however, if you stimulate my mind, you do stimulate my body.
Okay, okay, I'm rambling here - pictures are important because of this medium. But, if I was meeting you in a coffee shop or a bar or a restaurant or at a symposium your mind would be important to me, too!
We think if you will not at least email pics to us "G" fine of the 2 of you together you are fake or ashamed or hiding something. In this day and age a pic, face it, Swinging is based on attraction, is mandatory before meeting and those that will not send them are OFF our list to meet. Bottom line is we really want to see you before much talking is done, having a great personality is not enough in the Lifestyle, you have to attract us too!
I agree with everything that is said here. It is also funny how some people try to get away with using porn pics. Like I'm not going to be able to tell the difference. 8)
We live in an instant gratification, visual society. Those that can't adjust to this world will get left sitting on the sidelines of life - not just here at Swingular, but everywhere!
xoxo
L
xoxo
L
We think that you should have to atleast submit some g-rated pics....we have been burned many times and we are very careful in what we do and who we do it with....if you have a highg profile job etc etc....we understand that but atleast g-rated pics should be traded.
It seems reasonable to expect pics before meeting. We guess though, that you have to accept that showing faces to unknown people can be difficult for some really nice people that it could be a pleasure to meet.
We wouldn't meet another couple without some sort of picture swap first. We respect the need not to have your face published on the web for everybody to see - but after a few exchanges of e-mails in order to sift through the real fakes we would expect at least a couple of G-rated photos. There has to be some sort of attraction for both of us prior to any meeting.
Nothing wrong with meeting a couple or a single whatever but. Remember everyone thinks they are the cats meow, and nothing is wrong with that but would you say the same about them? I learned long ago to not meet without a pic and even if you seen a pic or two one never knows if its their pic or if its from ten years ago.I have meet couples without pics and even had a party with em and had the best time ever but. I asked myself if i saw their pic would i had meet them in the first place. And the answer would have been no. But like I always had said, were not getting married to the other cpl or single were just trying to have a good time. So I guess I am saying is its like a box of cracker jacks. You never know what the prize is if you dont open the box. Food for thought
Pics are nice to get a idea of who you willbe meeting but if you judge a cpl or person soley on a pic you will miss out on a whole lot of fun. We have been with some good looking cpl that SUCKED when it came to really having fun andf on the other hand we have been with soime average lookers or BBW's that spun circles around the KEN&BARBIE types. We send facial shots to REAL cpls that we intend to meet with.
N&S
N&S
We like to exchange pics through email if they don't have it posted on there profile. If they don't want to exchange than it would make me think what are they trying to hide. We never came across this so i don't know how i would react but i know it would seem very odd to us especially if they can't email a pic. Being discretee is one thing but when you are going to meet someone that sort of gets thrown out of the water because you are MEETING.
Pictures are most definitely a requirement -- but that being said, a couple who can 'hold their own' in a witty conversation really makes a night enjoyable in the 'getting to know you' stage. We met a very attractive couple who (in our opinion) were a bit too serious on counting their ab muscles. At our first dinner, they could hardly talk about ~anything~ unless it was relating to having sex with other tremendously fit people roll eyes. Yeah, we're fit people and love our sex as much as anyone, but ya know we have other interests too ya know!
We've not run into the problem of someone not having a pic. However I think if after IM'ing with someone and we hit it off with them, that I would agree to meet without a pic. Can't say for sure since we haven't run into that. I do find the statement that someone made that "if you don't have a scanner or digital camera, then you shouldn't be in the lifestyle. I mean what is that? :* So if you don't have up to date technology in your home then you need to outdate your thoughts and go back to monogamous sex only.
Without a doubt we need to see a picture before we will even consider. A blocked out face will work to get initial chit chat started but a face and body pic (can be clothed) are a necessity if a meeting is expected. If there is any suspicion at all, a couple picture is needed, too. Lot's of pictures of each partner by themselves and no couple pictures is a give-away for a fake.
If the person is too secretive to give us a face picture, even via separate e-mail, then they should pass us by. I can't see how a face picture of a man in a business suit or jeans is going to compromise a sensitive job or situation.
If the person is too secretive to give us a face picture, even via separate e-mail, then they should pass us by. I can't see how a face picture of a man in a business suit or jeans is going to compromise a sensitive job or situation.
We're probably one of those that are overly protective of our face pics for what we consider very valid reasons... at least to us and thats what really matters. We do however share them with people that we are seriously considering meeting in real life after chatting with them or trading a couple of emails and things seem to click with everyone at that point. We wouldn't expect anyone to meet us without seeing a recent face pic nor would we ever meet anyone without seeing theirs.
We do our best to screen out the fakes and pic collectors or the curious before sending our face pics to anyone or opening up our private pics to them. We operate with the simple rule that if you contact us first you should show your pics first and if we contact you first we'll do the same and trust that you will respect our need for discretion. It's a simple rule that works well for us.
We don't feel obligated to open up our private pics just because someone either added us to their friends list or blew us a kiss and don't buy into the reasoning that if someone "blew your cover" all you have to do is ask why they were on a site like this to begin with. For us thats a pretty simplistic way of looking at it and didn't address the fact that anyone can bypass the copy controls on the pics on this site and send an annonymous email to your friends, family or employer. I can imagine what problems it could cause those that live in a small town and once that info gets out the entire town has copies of your pics and lifestyle profile.
So for us taking the extra steps helps to protect us and if by chance we do miss out on someone real just because they couldn't understand that is much better than the potential nightmare that could have happened and we probably wouldn't have wanted to meet them in the first place if they were that pushy to begin with.
May not work for others but it certainly has worked well for us. Everybody we've met has been a good experience for us and we've never been stood up in the 3 years we've been in the lifestyle (knock on wood).
Just our thoughts on the subject.
We do our best to screen out the fakes and pic collectors or the curious before sending our face pics to anyone or opening up our private pics to them. We operate with the simple rule that if you contact us first you should show your pics first and if we contact you first we'll do the same and trust that you will respect our need for discretion. It's a simple rule that works well for us.
We don't feel obligated to open up our private pics just because someone either added us to their friends list or blew us a kiss and don't buy into the reasoning that if someone "blew your cover" all you have to do is ask why they were on a site like this to begin with. For us thats a pretty simplistic way of looking at it and didn't address the fact that anyone can bypass the copy controls on the pics on this site and send an annonymous email to your friends, family or employer. I can imagine what problems it could cause those that live in a small town and once that info gets out the entire town has copies of your pics and lifestyle profile.
So for us taking the extra steps helps to protect us and if by chance we do miss out on someone real just because they couldn't understand that is much better than the potential nightmare that could have happened and we probably wouldn't have wanted to meet them in the first place if they were that pushy to begin with.
May not work for others but it certainly has worked well for us. Everybody we've met has been a good experience for us and we've never been stood up in the 3 years we've been in the lifestyle (knock on wood).
Just our thoughts on the subject.
unless you are the president you dont have a high profile job...well..not necessarily, but still, if people do not want to share pics they have something to hide or are not ready. we have made the mistake before of not seeing pics and it is a waste of everyones time. if no one will share the pics forget and move on. for those with high profile jobs...its a job...and if you see the peoples pic then you have to trust them on discresssion.
we dont mind if the people on the site don't have a pic but what gets us is when they write an say We would love to meet you two if you can send pics of you to ****** we will be glad to send ours back to . an ours are posted one as a cpl an two of my wife whats up with this
No photos makes it a deal breaker for us !!
Phots are a must. no pics means no chance. We made the same mistake that sme others here made, and it turned out all bad. There must be a physical attraction before we agree to meet.
nothing more to really add, i just wanted to post this pic with a background i have seen recently lol.... hmmm... TWOTOPLAYNFL