I was about to go to bed, checked the emails, saw one I needed to answer, and one other new one, so I looked at it, too. It was from a single guy, and all it said was "hi sexy can we play". Nothing else. And his avatar was one of those "no pictures" things. And he's NOT anyone Dana's been talking with in the past. A complete stranger, he says nothing about himself or why he's interested in Dana, and he doesn't even have any pictures in his profile. And he obviously either didn't bother reading our profile, which says she's taking a break from the LS until May, except for people we already know, or he just ignored what she said.
OK, this isn't the first time something like this has happened, and it's happened often enough that I'm actually wondering, do some guys just send out emails to all the females who are either single or who play alone, and hope, if they send enough, they'll get lucky? Just some version of, "hey, let's fuck", with a profile that doesn't even have any pictures? Are there really men who think that there are any women on this site, whether single or part of a couple, that are so hard up for sex that they're going to want to hook up in a situation like that?
If this kind of thing happened maybe once in a great while, I'd put it down to some guy who just wasn't thinking, but it isn't all that rare. So does anyone know what the heck guys like that are really thinking? Do they believe that they're going to get "sure, let's do it" as a reply? And do they also believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, and the Easter Bunny? Sheesh. ~ Terry
OK, this isn't the first time something like this has happened, and it's happened often enough that I'm actually wondering, do some guys just send out emails to all the females who are either single or who play alone, and hope, if they send enough, they'll get lucky? Just some version of, "hey, let's fuck", with a profile that doesn't even have any pictures? Are there really men who think that there are any women on this site, whether single or part of a couple, that are so hard up for sex that they're going to want to hook up in a situation like that?
If this kind of thing happened maybe once in a great while, I'd put it down to some guy who just wasn't thinking, but it isn't all that rare. So does anyone know what the heck guys like that are really thinking? Do they believe that they're going to get "sure, let's do it" as a reply? And do they also believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, and the Easter Bunny? Sheesh. ~ Terry
I wonder if occasionally they are thinking that it's one step better than sending a friendship request with no contact attempt. Since most of us state that we don't approve those- perhaps they are trying Bare Minimum..... Not wanting to "waste time" with a detailed introduction. To a degree, I understand that. I'm sure a lot of singles have worked the mumbers on emails that got nowhere vs emails that netted a friendship/play date.
Personally, I'm very influenced by the written word, so while I may respond to a brief email, if things devolve, I get bored and wander off.
Personally, I'm very influenced by the written word, so while I may respond to a brief email, if things devolve, I get bored and wander off.
They obviously believe in unicorns, so it must be.
This is exactly why I left my mail carrier position at the Post Office years ago.....I either lost interest, or was consistently amazed at similar writing styles, and realized that I no longer held an interest in what people had to say while reading their mail....
......and YES, that really is my butt !!
Easily over 90% of the emails we get from single guys are obvious spam. Nothing whatsoever that would indicate they read (or even skimmed) our profile and know what we are and aren't looking for. Personally I don't understand that approach. Maybe they're involved in direct sales and have been taught that technique. We simply ignore these emails. Nothing screams "I just wanna get laid, don't care how or by who." more than a spammed first contact. Not sure which is worse, a generic spam email or an unsolicited Friend Request. For all the unfair abuse single men get in swinging THIS one is more than deserved. Sorry guys.
Terry, you misread the email. It was to you. Why jump to conclusions he failed to read your profile about Dana taking a break. Everyone knows older males that sport flowing locks are secretly harboring bi fantasies. Go with it. Have a night out!
When we get anything like that from a single male we just block them. We used to have a general single male block but ended up wanting to communicate with a couple of single males so we lifted the ban.
Wish there was a way to restore the block and just allow the couple access we wish to talk with.
When we get anything like that from a single male we just block them. We used to have a general single male block but ended up wanting to communicate with a couple of single males so we lifted the ban.
Wish there was a way to restore the block and just allow the couple access we wish to talk with.
It's as though penises learned to write. The simple thought process; 'They're on Swingular for sex. I want to have sex. They will want my sexy sex b/c Swingular = indiscriminate sex-wanters.'
It's over half of the messages I get and if you extrapolate the attitude to its extreme it's why a woman's sexual history was used against her in sexual assault cases. Once you indicate an interest in sex that's all you are (to very small-minded people).
It's over half of the messages I get and if you extrapolate the attitude to its extreme it's why a woman's sexual history was used against her in sexual assault cases. Once you indicate an interest in sex that's all you are (to very small-minded people).
Just like with spammers, it's a numbers game. If he can get one out of every 250 people to actually REPLY to that email, all he has to do is send out 250 of them and he's got a bite!
You'd think he could increase his response rate by writing a more thoughtful form-letter, however.
You'd think he could increase his response rate by writing a more thoughtful form-letter, however.
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
Perhaps the dude sends out shot gun emails because he is a French theoretical physicist that thinks he is capable of super positioning.
Paul Adrien Maurice Dirac stated
"The general principle of superposition of quantum mechanics applies to the states [undisturbed motions] ... of any one dynamical system. It requires us to assume that between these states there exist peculiar relationships such that whenever the system is definitely in one state we can consider it as being partly in each of two or more other states. The original state must be regarded as the result of a kind of superposition of the two or more new states, in a way that cannot be conceived on classical ideas. Any state may be considered as the result of a superposition of two or more other states, and indeed in an infinite number of ways. Conversely any two or more states may be superposed to give a new state..."
His emails are a possibility wave until someone observes him to be fuckable and says yes at which time he can be observed having sex. If the multiverse theory is correct then he is getting laid in some universe and in a sea of infinite possibilities he is fucking all of our wives in some universe other than ours.
If he is right take comfort in knowing that in some other universe you yourself are getting it on with any and all of the women you desire. It makes the rejections in our own and most of the multiverse seem less important when you know that somewhere in existence Hello Kitty thinks you are hot.
If that's the case, he's probably a great fan of Schroedinger's cat, too. But even if he's operating all the way down at the quantum level, how the Hell does he think anyone's going to observe him as being fuckable when they can't observe ANYTHING about him other than the fact that he doesn't understand that sentences are supposed to begin with a capital letter and end with a punctuation mark? ~ Terry
BMSHELL wrote:
Just like with spammers, it's a numbers game. If he can get one out of every 250 people to actually REPLY to that email, all he has to do is send out 250 of them and he's got a bite!
You'd think he could increase his response rate by writing a more thoughtful form-letter, however.
I dunno. I do know that some guys think they're so hot that any girl would have to be insane not to want to screw them, so all they have to do I say "Hey, look, here I am", but even if he's the twin of whoever's the current male sex idol, and has a dick that's 12 inches long and 12 inches in circumference and stays hard as a rock for 2 hours at a time, together with a 6 inch long and incredibly agile tongue, how can he think it's going to do him any good without even a single picture in his profile?
I think that guys who think they're that hot are a little removed from reality, but I do at least understand what they're thinking. But hitting on a girl and not even providing a picture? THAT's what really got me wondering "what the Hell?" this time. ~ Terry
I can't keep track of how many no picture, no details, never talked to em before emails we get where the entirety of the email is "let me fuck her". My asshole tendencies really want to reply and totally blast them out of the water, but I've found that they view ANY response as encouragement. Ah Delete button, what a true friend you have become...
Gotta tell you.. after hearing all these stories, I sure do enjoy just having all single males completely blocked.
Wait... You guys are talking about single MALES? Our problem is all these sex crazed single Women!!! ...said no one. Ever.
BMSHELL wrote:See, therein lies the shame of the worst ruining it for the better. There are great single guys on here who'd be horrified to get lumped in w/ the cro-magnon shotgun emailers; they write thoughtful, prosaic and enjoyable messages. But there's no weeding out the putzes, besides taking note if their titles are well-written or witty. And for that, you have to look at the single males in the first place.
Gotta tell you.. after hearing all these stories, I sure do enjoy just having all single males completely blocked.
I've been a single guy in and out of the lifestyle for...damn, almost 20 years...didn't realize it had been that long till I had to quantify it. Most of that time has been outside the lifestyle. I've never had a gf that wanted to be active in the lifestyle. I've had a few that dabbled with me, but never more than one or two experiences.
Here's what it breaks down to. When 'cold calling' (contacting someone without any previous correspondence) one strategy I've tried is to carefully peruse a lady/couple's profile and compose a customized email that addresses their desires/fetishes etc. and accent my attributes that would fulfill their desires. This is a tactic I used in my previous sales career and it works well--quality over quantity. However, it's very problematic when applied to swingular. First, the dick to chick ratio here has got to be at least 20:1. The fact that I'm a single guy makes it quite likely that my email will never be read. Second, most all of the ladies/couples dance cards are already full so even if they are impressed by the email there's just not a spot open. Given these facts, it's more about a numbers game. Writing personalized emails takes a lot of time, and over 90% of them won't even get a response. The responses that are far more likely to be 'not interested' than anything else. So it's a numbers game. The challenge is to contact a lady/couple who happens to be looking for a single guy at that moment and convince them you're their guy.
This brings us to the 'spam' email. I'm not going to go into details as to not encourage such things, but it can be effective given the long odds against the single guy.
My advice to the single guy trying to make a go of it here. Go to the meet and greats and other functions that will actually have you. It's far more effective than any fool hearty email campaign you could design.Flirt, but don't be pushy. Always insist on meeting her partner. Future contact with a couple should be with him unless he directs you otherwise. Realize and accept that you are most likely just a sex toy to these people. Some ladies and a few couples want more, but it's the exception, not the rule.
Bottom line, this lifestyle is a lot of work for a single guy. It's doable, but is it worth it? I really don't think so. I stay in touch for amusement and the rare tryst that comes along.
Happy hunting boys...
Here's what it breaks down to. When 'cold calling' (contacting someone without any previous correspondence) one strategy I've tried is to carefully peruse a lady/couple's profile and compose a customized email that addresses their desires/fetishes etc. and accent my attributes that would fulfill their desires. This is a tactic I used in my previous sales career and it works well--quality over quantity. However, it's very problematic when applied to swingular. First, the dick to chick ratio here has got to be at least 20:1. The fact that I'm a single guy makes it quite likely that my email will never be read. Second, most all of the ladies/couples dance cards are already full so even if they are impressed by the email there's just not a spot open. Given these facts, it's more about a numbers game. Writing personalized emails takes a lot of time, and over 90% of them won't even get a response. The responses that are far more likely to be 'not interested' than anything else. So it's a numbers game. The challenge is to contact a lady/couple who happens to be looking for a single guy at that moment and convince them you're their guy.
This brings us to the 'spam' email. I'm not going to go into details as to not encourage such things, but it can be effective given the long odds against the single guy.
My advice to the single guy trying to make a go of it here. Go to the meet and greats and other functions that will actually have you. It's far more effective than any fool hearty email campaign you could design.Flirt, but don't be pushy. Always insist on meeting her partner. Future contact with a couple should be with him unless he directs you otherwise. Realize and accept that you are most likely just a sex toy to these people. Some ladies and a few couples want more, but it's the exception, not the rule.
Bottom line, this lifestyle is a lot of work for a single guy. It's doable, but is it worth it? I really don't think so. I stay in touch for amusement and the rare tryst that comes along.
Happy hunting boys...