So this has been discussed a few times, but I'm surprised how few people here have heard of it..
The black-ring on the right-hand has quickly become the new "standard" on how to tell if someone's a swinger in public. (No, it's not a sure-indicator, but it's gaining traction FAST in the swinger community).
- It started off as a discussion on Kasidie a few years ago.
- Several swingers bloggers and podcasters picked it up and endorsed it.
- Almost all of the larger online swinger communities are now endorsing it.
- It's even been mentioned a few times on PBTV's show "Swing".
- We recently went on a swingers cruise and saw LOTS of couples wearing them.
It's actually got some real traction..... The great thing is that it's small. It's cheap. It's not obvious to anyone else. It's easy to 'deny' if you ever ARE caught ("Oh.. I just liked the ring..")..
My wife and I both wear them now... But we've never seen them "in the wild" in Utah... We found that they made a great conversation starter.
More Info here:
- http://www.okswing.com/index.php/en/easyblog/entry/black-ring-right-hand-how-to-find-swingers-in-public
- http://www.lifestylerings.com/faqs.html
- http://swapfu.blogspot.com/p/black-ring-right-hand.html
The black-ring on the right-hand has quickly become the new "standard" on how to tell if someone's a swinger in public. (No, it's not a sure-indicator, but it's gaining traction FAST in the swinger community).
- It started off as a discussion on Kasidie a few years ago.
- Several swingers bloggers and podcasters picked it up and endorsed it.
- Almost all of the larger online swinger communities are now endorsing it.
- It's even been mentioned a few times on PBTV's show "Swing".
- We recently went on a swingers cruise and saw LOTS of couples wearing them.
It's actually got some real traction..... The great thing is that it's small. It's cheap. It's not obvious to anyone else. It's easy to 'deny' if you ever ARE caught ("Oh.. I just liked the ring..")..
My wife and I both wear them now... But we've never seen them "in the wild" in Utah... We found that they made a great conversation starter.
More Info here:
- http://www.okswing.com/index.php/en/easyblog/entry/black-ring-right-hand-how-to-find-swingers-in-public
- http://www.lifestylerings.com/faqs.html
- http://swapfu.blogspot.com/p/black-ring-right-hand.html
Here is a link to amazon that lists them.
http://www.amazon.com/Swinger-Black-Ring-Available-Including/dp/B00EDFOVC6
Here is a much cheaper version. Black stainless. The party groups should provide than as part of the fee we pay to attend.
http://theswingerstore.com/index.php?route=product%2Fproduct&product_id=50
http://www.amazon.com/Swinger-Black-Ring-Available-Including/dp/B00EDFOVC6
Here is a much cheaper version. Black stainless. The party groups should provide than as part of the fee we pay to attend.
http://theswingerstore.com/index.php?route=product%2Fproduct&product_id=50
Okay if we a set what is the best way to confirm that the others swing also or should we have a secret language as well
jv666playful wrote:
Okay if we a set what is the best way to confirm that the others swing also or should we have a secret language as well
Unfortunately, there's no good answer to this.. you'll have to go out on a limb at some point...
However, if you see a couple out, together, BOTH wearing black rings on the right hand, it's pretty much a given.
If you're TOO coy about it, their first instinct will be to deny.. I'd just come right out and ask.. "Hey, love the black rings.. are you guys swingers?"
SIMPLEPLEASURES wrote:
The party groups should provide than as part of the fee we pay to attend.
Working on a new party group as we speak that will do exactly this... Stay tuned.
We used to go to the occasional lifestyle takeover/trip and would invariably be issued a wristband upon arrival so that we could get into events at the hotel or resort. It usually took about half a day for word to leak out, first among hotel employees and then later the general public, that swingers were around the area and that they could be identified by their wristbands. I guarantee if the black ring thing took off that very soon there would be multiple internet stories as well as likely regular news outlets that "swingers" wear black rings on their right hands and there goes any anonymity. The VAST majority of swingers would then not dare wear the accessory for fear of being seen/identified in public as a swinger. MUCH easier to just attend private swinging events where you have a reasonable assurance that all or most in attendance are indeed swingers rather than spend a lot of time cruising the bars or whatever looking for people wearing black rings. 
EVILDOERS wrote:
We used to go to the occasional lifestyle takeover/trip and would invariably be issued a wristband upon arrival so that we could get into events at the hotel or resort. It usually took about half a day for word to leak out, first among hotel employees and then later the general public, that swingers were around the area and that they could be identified by their wristbands.
When swingers are densely populated in an area.. yes.. that's bound to happen.. However, a tiny fraction of the population are actually swingers.. so when you're talking about something "in the wild" (versus at a meet-up), this isn't likely to be a problem.
EVILDOERS wrote:
I guarantee if the black ring thing took off that very soon there would be multiple internet stories as well as likely regular news outlets that "swingers" wear black rings on their right hands and there goes any anonymity. The VAST majority of swingers would then not dare wear the accessory for fear of being seen/identified in public as a swinger.
I'd say we're years (decades?) away from that ever becoming a problem. Black rings would need to be EVERYWHERE before the general populace catches on to it... and then you just move on to something else.
EVILDOERS wrote:
MUCH easier to just attend private swinging events where you have a reasonable assurance that all or most in attendance are indeed swingers rather than spend a lot of time cruising the bars or whatever looking for people wearing black rings.
I'm not sure which part of the black-ring suggestion takes "spending a lot of time"... Attending meetups is DEFINITELY the preferred way to find swingers (well, and web-sites, like this one)... But talking to people who've actually seen the black-ring in the wild and MET swingers in open, public, spaces... there's a certain excitement that comes from that.
Maybe I'll just wear my "I <heart> swingers" t-shirt, instead.
Don't underestimate the power of the internet and social media to disseminate information (especially information considered salacious by most of the world) VERY quickly. All it would take would be one pissed off swinger who didn't get laid or something to lash out by telling everyone the dirty little secret. 
And personally we don't find it very inhibiting to walk into a bar or a restaurant and not be able to tell immediately who is and isn't a swinger. It would be interesting to poll people and ask them if they would be likely to wear a black ring on their right hand in otherwise vanilla situations to be able to be identified by and to identify others as swingers. We'll start. We wouldn't do it. We enjoy the fact that our little hobby is known just to us and a few friends. It's our naughty little secret. We wouldn't advertise our vanilla sex life to friends and family so why would we want to do it as swingers? JOHO
And personally we don't find it very inhibiting to walk into a bar or a restaurant and not be able to tell immediately who is and isn't a swinger. It would be interesting to poll people and ask them if they would be likely to wear a black ring on their right hand in otherwise vanilla situations to be able to be identified by and to identify others as swingers. We'll start. We wouldn't do it. We enjoy the fact that our little hobby is known just to us and a few friends. It's our naughty little secret. We wouldn't advertise our vanilla sex life to friends and family so why would we want to do it as swingers? JOHO
EVILDOERS wrote:
And personally we don't find it very inhibiting to walk into a bar or a restaurant and not be able to tell immediately who is and isn't a swinger.
You've never met a hot couple in a grocery store and thought "Damn.. those two are HOT.. I wonder if they are swingers.."
If you say no, I don't believe you. =)
Of course we have. But we're just as content to find out the old fashioned way. Chat them up...invite them for a drink...SLOOOWLY bring up the subject of sex and the fact that we're a little more "liberal" about our sexuality than the average person.
Love it
Bwhwhahahahahhaahah I forgot how funny that sketch is DeliciouslyWet!!! Thanks for that. 
EVILDOERS wrote:
We used to go to the occasional lifestyle takeover/trip and would invariably be issued a wristband upon arrival so that we could get into events at the hotel or resort. It usually took about half a day for word to leak out, first among hotel employees and then later the general public, that swingers were around the area and that they could be identified by their wristbands. I guarantee if the black ring thing took off that very soon there would be multiple internet stories as well as likely regular news outlets that "swingers" wear black rings on their right hands and there goes any anonymity. The VAST majority of swingers would then not dare wear the accessory for fear of being seen/identified in public as a swinger. MUCH easier to just attend private swinging events where you have a reasonable assurance that all or most in attendance are indeed swingers rather than spend a lot of time cruising the bars or whatever looking for people wearing black rings.
Yeah, i point this out every time this is brought up. As soon as the secret hand shake is out, it becomes useless.
I heard about the black ring, upside down pine4, flamingo, and white rocks almost twenty years ago, before I ever dreamt of considering swinging. (I keep seeing people say it was created recently, but it has been around for a long time).
Thing is, you can think you've got some kind of secret code, or secret meeting place, but the public already knows.
But if people want to wear black rings, I say go for it. Unfortunately, I still have to value discretion, so advertising of any kind in public won't be happening any time soon.
Wait wait wait!!! There's a hand shake? WTF..
I've tried the pineapple upside down trick and have had no one even bat an eye at it. Is there a certain way to put it? And where is the manual on this damn hand shake?
I've tried the pineapple upside down trick and have had no one even bat an eye at it. Is there a certain way to put it? And where is the manual on this damn hand shake?
Lol, Jeff has been wearing a black ring on his pinky finger of his right hand for almost 10 year's. We heard it was a swinger thing way before we were Swingers but he kept wearing it to mess with people at the time. Definitely not a new thing.
ASHLEYSCOTT wrote:
Lol, Jeff has been wearing a black ring on his pinky finger of his right hand for almost 10 year's. We heard it was a swinger thing way before we were Swingers but he kept wearing it to mess with people at the time. Definitely not a new thing.
While it may not be new, it's definitely gaining traction.. And some of the sillier things (like the upside down pineapple) are going the way of urban legends. =)
Would like to see it more in Utah, since it's definitely a "thing" when you get outside the lowly shelter of Utah-centric Swingular. (SLS, Kasidie, etc, are all at least mentioning it regularly now, if not downright pushing / endorsing it).... And the OTHER online communities (like reddit) are pushing it pretty hard.
Even when it comes to swinging, it seems Utah is sheltered. =)
However, worth adding, that based on my observations, it's gaining traction mostly with the under-40 crowd. (Not coincidentally, the same crowd that's more active in the social-media circles).
You need somebody to be wearing a black ring to give you the confidence to walk up & start chatting with them?????
If you see someone that is attractive & friendly, strike up a converstaion. If things go well, beat around the bush a little & see if they pick up on the hints.
You don't need to make this more complicated than it actually is. Even if someone does not classify themselves as a swinger, they may still be looking for some play. Do you only play with people that identify themselves as swingers? If you do, you will be limiting your available variety of partners.
If you see someone that is attractive & friendly, strike up a converstaion. If things go well, beat around the bush a little & see if they pick up on the hints.
You don't need to make this more complicated than it actually is. Even if someone does not classify themselves as a swinger, they may still be looking for some play. Do you only play with people that identify themselves as swingers? If you do, you will be limiting your available variety of partners.
Here's a link for a 6mm titanium black ring that they'll engrave for you, for $15.95.
http://www.forevergifts.com/personalized-6mm-titanium-black-band-ring/?gclid=Cj0KEQiAiamlBRCgj83PiYm6--gBEiQArnojD5MSFNt71dPe0k5cWOwzHByuR8cgg5ogsDTBiqPbt0oaAvq88P8HAQ
~ Terry
http://www.forevergifts.com/personalized-6mm-titanium-black-band-ring/?gclid=Cj0KEQiAiamlBRCgj83PiYm6--gBEiQArnojD5MSFNt71dPe0k5cWOwzHByuR8cgg5ogsDTBiqPbt0oaAvq88P8HAQ
~ Terry
The thing is, even though people in the vanilla world may know about something like black rings on the right hand, they probably won't notice it, especially with all the people wearing multiple rings nowadays. Most people just aren't all that observant. On the other hand, swingers who know about it will probably look for them. And if someone who doesn't also have one on asks you what's with the black ring, you can just say,"I like it." And if they then say "Did you know that it can mean ....?", you can say something like "Why do you think that?", or "Where'd you hear that?", which can lead to them saying they swing, or let you get out of the conversation without admitting anything yourself.~ Terry
TMACA wrote:
The thing is, even though people in the vanilla world may know about something like black rings on the right hand, they probably won't notice it, especially with all the people wearing multiple rings nowadays. Most people just aren't all that observant. On the other hand, swingers who know about it will probably look for them. And if someone who doesn't also have one on asks you what's with the black ring, you can just say,"I like it." And if they then say "Did you know that it can mean ....?", you can say something like "Why do you think that?", or "Where'd you hear that?", which can lead to them saying they swing, or let you get out of the conversation without admitting anything yourself.~ Terry
That may be true up to a point but think about what other cues you see when you see an attractive couple and wonder if they're swingers. Dress a little sexier than normal, act a little flirtier or maybe dance a little dirtier (if they're at a club), are constantly looking around checking out other people. That doesn't happen in the vanilla world. Most guys would at very least get an elbow to the gut if their lady caught them openly checking out an attractive girl. In swinging, the lady will often check out the attractive girl right along with her husband. I still think that the majority of swingers wouldn't wear the rings even if they became "a thing". As someone mentioned this isn't a new concept. People have been talking about ways to make it easier to identify other swingers when out and about almost since the day we started swinging decades ago. On another swing site we're on they even made a mobile app that people could put on their smart phones that would alert them if another swinger was nearby and also had the app turned on. If the app showed (by GPS) another swinger near you you could send them a text. It was a colossal failure to say the least. I know there are definitely a small percentage of swingers who would wear black rings and/or use an app but the majority would likely not due to fear of discovery. Why do you think many or most profiles have face pics only in the locked sections and mention discretion so ubiquitously? Especially here in Utah where the prevailing religion has such strict morality codes, many people would rightly be afraid of losing their jobs and social standing if discovered. JMO
We're going to buy them anyway...worn selectively of course.
CLASSYPASSION wrote:
We're going to buy them anyway...worn selectively of course.
EXACTLY... get it and wear it when appropriate.
Based on the feedback here you'd think I just told people they were now required to participate in this little trend. =)
We love our black rings. =)
By the way, we may try to buy a few hundred in bulk and sell them at the "Black Ring Society" social events.. We may not have them in time for the "Meet, Eat, & Bowl" event on the 16th, but probably the ones after that.
OMG! Just had a client walk in and notice my black tungsten wedding ring (I've had one for a couple of years now.) He told me that it I were to wear it on my right hand it would indicate I was gay. I told him I had heard that it indicated other things (didn't elaborate) and he assured me, and I guess he would know since he and his partner have been together over 20 years and finally were allowed to get married last winter, that it meant gay at...least among his friends and acquaintances. Maybe we swingers are too little too late to the party. Besides, Ms. Evil said she'd never wear anything that dark and colorless. Oh, and fwiw, when we first started swinging (back about the time Madame Curie was JUST starting to glow in the dark a little) the big thing was a necklace, or ring, or t-shirt, or even a tattoo of an apple with a bite out of it. Saw a few people wearing them at conventions/takeovers but never once have we ever seen anyone wear them in a vanilla public venue.
EVILDOERS wrote:
OMG! Just had a client walk in and notice my black tungsten wedding ring (I've had one for a couple of years now.) He told me that it I were to wear it on my right hand it would indicate I was gay.
There are some gays who wear their wedding rings on their right hands (solidarity against "the man" who doesn't let them marry, etc.) -- but "black" isn't a specific thing in the gay community as far as I can tell from some quick research.
The middle finger on the right hand is apparently reserved for the asexuals. (People who aren't interested in sex). Although given that there are roughly 8 such people in the United States, I wouldn't stress too much over being confused with that community.
If this gets any more complex, we're going to need a right-hand-ring governing body. =)
I view the black-ring on a swinger-looking couple as the final checkbox of "oh.. yup.. definitely swingers... look.. both wearing black rings on the right hand". If I just saw a random person with a black ring on a right finger, I wouldn't think anything of it. I would just like to see it become more of a thing in Utah, like it is elsewhere in the country. =) My wife and I wear ours when we go out together for date-night... otherwise we don't bother with them.
I know none of this will stop folks from screaming and yelling at how ridiculous it is -- But if you ARE going to scream and yell, don't forget to continuously remind as many people as possible how much credibility you have on the matter because you used to swing with the Flinstones.
(On our swingers cruise recently, we DID enjoy the many stories from the elderly about what it was like to swing before the days of the internet... so this thread has become a bit like a free tropical vacation, in that sense!).
BMSHELL wrote:CLASSYPASSION wrote:
We're going to buy them anyway...worn selectively of course.
EXACTLY... get it and wear it when appropriate.
Based on the feedback here you'd think I just told people they were now required to participate in this little trend. =)
We love our black rings. =)
By the way, we may try to buy a few hundred in bulk and sell them at the "Black Ring Society" social events.. We may not have them in time for the "Meet, Eat, & Bowl" event on the 16th, but probably the ones after that.
Thank you!
And no to the other comment about "giving one confidence when wearing the ring." I put it on and took it off 5 times...not once did my confidence change...lol...must've bought the wrong ring...damnit...where's that receipt?
We bought a pair because we think its a fun idea. And yes, to help meet others. Why not? We enjoy meeting new people. All the better if it makes us more approachable to some.
Neither of us care for the idea of needing to remember to take it on and off so we wear them all the time. Suffice it to say we have been doing it for a while now without incident. They have been mentioned once, by another swinger couple while we were out dancing. And only after we approached them!
I don't personally see the sense in worrying about what others will say or think about such a benign thing. If someone mentions it in public and they aren't tactful it's easy enough to play off. "It's a sourvenir", "it's a gift", "I like it"; there are any number of reasonable explanations. No harm no foul. They can claim whatever meaning they want. It doesn't mean I nor anyone else must agree with it. Conversely, if they any couth then it will show in their approach and we'll likely end up talking about it if it's appropriate for the time.
Neither of us care for the idea of needing to remember to take it on and off so we wear them all the time. Suffice it to say we have been doing it for a while now without incident. They have been mentioned once, by another swinger couple while we were out dancing. And only after we approached them!
I don't personally see the sense in worrying about what others will say or think about such a benign thing. If someone mentions it in public and they aren't tactful it's easy enough to play off. "It's a sourvenir", "it's a gift", "I like it"; there are any number of reasonable explanations. No harm no foul. They can claim whatever meaning they want. It doesn't mean I nor anyone else must agree with it. Conversely, if they any couth then it will show in their approach and we'll likely end up talking about it if it's appropriate for the time.
GREAT idea KENNEDY0408 ! same here ~
KENNEDY0408 wrote:
Maybe we should get Tshirts with our profile pics printed on them? I would recognize more boobs than faces on here anyway....
HAHA that is a great idea!
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
A lot of people secretly wish they could self liberate sexually and socially enough to do some of the things "swingers" do. If they know enough about the Utah swing scene to know why we are wearing a black ring on our right hands then there is a pretty good chance they envy our liberation maybe just a little.
I would not be surprised!
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
I recently had a very LDS middle aged friend who knows we swing tell me when he grows up he wants to be me. We don't flaunt it before our vanilla friends and we are not trying to be spokes persons for swinging but we are really not ashamed of it.
Out of curiosity, do you consider wearing black rings all the time flaunting it?
What a great idea! We will be getting our rings soon!
Has anyone seen others out in public wearing them or been approached by someone who recognized them for what they are?
Has anyone seen others out in public wearing them or been approached by someone who recognized them for what they are?