So I was on chat last night and someone whispered to me that someone is telling people I'm a single guy pretending to be a couple. We were supposed to meet this couple at a Meet n Greet a few months ago and I showed up alone and said Dana got sick and couldn't come, so they decided I was an imposter.
Then at a recent Meet n Greet people were talking about the people who post a lot on the discussions, my name came up, and this couple apparently told everyone I was an imposter, or that they thought I was, or something.
Dana had gotten sick that afternoon, by the time we should have left was too sick to go, but I had to go anyway 'cause I'd told a single girl friend that I'd be there. We really worry about ever telling someone we're going to do something and then not doing it, so we felt bad, and Dana wrote a little note explaining and apologizing. When I got to the Meet n Greet I located the couple we were supposed to meet, explained what happened, gave them Dana's note, said I hoped we could get together another time, and went over to the girl who I'd told I'd meet her there and spent the evening with her and some people she was with.
I can kind of understand what they thought, "the wife got sick" is such a cliche used by imposters that it's bound to make a couple suspicious, but it seems they didn't really think things through. First, from what I've heard, imposters don't usually set up meetings at Meet n Greets, they set up a private meeting. Second, an imposter wouldn't have just explained what happened and then gone over to someone else, he would have tried to hang with the couple. Finally, we're verified, with the VIP, verified in person, meaning someone from the site actually met us.
Now, I'm not pissed at these people. If anything, it's a little funny. But I do wish they'd thought about it some instead of just reacting, and especially before starting to tell other people. We don't know tons of people here yet, and things like this can spread like wildfire. I know who they are, but can't remember the username, and since email history only goes back 3 months I can't get it from the emails. If I could, I'd email them, and get this straightened out, refer them to some people who do know us, give them Dana's cell number so they can talk to her, or something. But I can't. So I'm hoping they'll see this and get hold of me before the rumor gets out of hand. Especially since I DO sometimes show up somewhere alone if "single men" are allowed because of Dana's weird work schedule, like I did at a NYE party I was lucky enough to be allowed to go to at the last minute, when she had to work that night.
Meanwhile, it might help if t some of the few people who DO know us stick a reply on this post saying that we are a couple, and I'm not some single guy imposter. ~ Terry
Then at a recent Meet n Greet people were talking about the people who post a lot on the discussions, my name came up, and this couple apparently told everyone I was an imposter, or that they thought I was, or something.
Dana had gotten sick that afternoon, by the time we should have left was too sick to go, but I had to go anyway 'cause I'd told a single girl friend that I'd be there. We really worry about ever telling someone we're going to do something and then not doing it, so we felt bad, and Dana wrote a little note explaining and apologizing. When I got to the Meet n Greet I located the couple we were supposed to meet, explained what happened, gave them Dana's note, said I hoped we could get together another time, and went over to the girl who I'd told I'd meet her there and spent the evening with her and some people she was with.
I can kind of understand what they thought, "the wife got sick" is such a cliche used by imposters that it's bound to make a couple suspicious, but it seems they didn't really think things through. First, from what I've heard, imposters don't usually set up meetings at Meet n Greets, they set up a private meeting. Second, an imposter wouldn't have just explained what happened and then gone over to someone else, he would have tried to hang with the couple. Finally, we're verified, with the VIP, verified in person, meaning someone from the site actually met us.
Now, I'm not pissed at these people. If anything, it's a little funny. But I do wish they'd thought about it some instead of just reacting, and especially before starting to tell other people. We don't know tons of people here yet, and things like this can spread like wildfire. I know who they are, but can't remember the username, and since email history only goes back 3 months I can't get it from the emails. If I could, I'd email them, and get this straightened out, refer them to some people who do know us, give them Dana's cell number so they can talk to her, or something. But I can't. So I'm hoping they'll see this and get hold of me before the rumor gets out of hand. Especially since I DO sometimes show up somewhere alone if "single men" are allowed because of Dana's weird work schedule, like I did at a NYE party I was lucky enough to be allowed to go to at the last minute, when she had to work that night.
Meanwhile, it might help if t some of the few people who DO know us stick a reply on this post saying that we are a couple, and I'm not some single guy imposter. ~ Terry
We can confirm that they are a couple. The mrs waxes them and we have met them both. Sometimes things happen whether it be someone gettin sick, work, injured, menstrating, or whatever it be.
Like I said, I'm not mad at them or something, I completely understand why they thought that, but wish they'd thought a little further. I only posted this because there aren't a whole lot of people who've actually met us yet, and because Dana works at night I DO sometimes show up, if it's allowed, by myself, and I know how easy it is for a story like "that guy's really a single guy" to spread, especially when it's about something that people do get burned by occasionally, everyone knows happens, and lots of people worry at least a little about. And since not a whole lot of people actually know us yet, witness the fact that nobody at that recent Meet n Greet was able to say "No, we know them, they really are a couple", in this case it could end up getting around to a whole lot of folks.
So I'm just hoping that the couple, as well as anyone they might have told this to, see this post and either realize that they jumped to a wrong conclusion or contact me so I can get it straightened out. ~ Terry
So I'm just hoping that the couple, as well as anyone they might have told this to, see this post and either realize that they jumped to a wrong conclusion or contact me so I can get it straightened out. ~ Terry
You know, Terry, this actually being a couple and then looking to horn in on all the single guy action has got to stop! Since us single guys are so scarce and sought after, I can understand you wanting to get some of the action, but it has a bad affect when people just can;t rely on getting a single guy and then find out they have to deal with a couple.....especially a couple with a hot woman.
I mean really, you just have to deal with having a beautiful wife and being a couple. I get that it makes it difficult for you, but if you are VIP, then just live with that and quit attempting to pass yourself off as single.
I mean really, you just have to deal with having a beautiful wife and being a couple. I get that it makes it difficult for you, but if you are VIP, then just live with that and quit attempting to pass yourself off as single.
We will confirm you are definitely a couple. . People shouldn't worry about you as a rogue single male.
This is a great use of the forum. Looks like the misconception should be resolved.
CB
CB
Ha ha you took a note!! Like an excuse to the teacher from mama 
love it that's taking great steps to not be a fraud and still your called one people suck!
love it that's taking great steps to not be a fraud and still your called one people suck!AWHOOTY wrote:
Ha ha you took a note!! Like an excuse to the teacher from mama
Thing is, we REALLY feel bad about saying we'll do something then not doing it, no matter what the reason. So we wanted to do whatever we could so they'd know we weren't just flaking them off or something. But it apparently backfired somehow, I guess the note was so strange. ~ Terry
GOODFUN2 wrote:
You know, Terry, this actually being a couple and then looking to horn in on all the single guy action has got to stop! Since us single guys are so scarce and sought after, I can understand you wanting to get some of the action, but it has a bad affect when people just can;t rely on getting a single guy and then find out they have to deal with a couple.....especially a couple with a hot woman.
I mean really, you just have to deal with having a beautiful wife and being a couple. I get that it makes it difficult for you, but if you are VIP, then just live with that and quit attempting to pass yourself off as single.
I'm just waiting now for someone to start a rumor that I'm really a single girl. Not sure, though, how I'd pull that one off when actually meeting people. I mean, I do have the hair and could get the beard waxed off, and have a name that would work, but none of the other stuff. Any REALLY good TVs out there got any advice for me? ~ Terry
CBUTAH wrote:
This is a great use of the forum. Looks like the misconception should be resolved.
CB
Boy, I sure hope so. ~ Terry
If people could not make judgements and spread gossip then what fun would life be. It is actually kinda humorous because I have been in a similar circumstance. I actually met a couple and told the Olga would not be with me of course they met her later became less suspicious. You got to laugh at those situations, at some point they will realize they made the mistake by passing judgement.
The problem is, if you've been in the lifestyle for any length of time, you've probably been the victim of the ol' bait and switch and so you get a little bit gun shy. It's happened to us numerous times and it just keeps gettin' funnier and FUNNIER every time. 
I think about the only way you could have avoided the situation you describe would have been to contact this couple prior to the meet and greet explaining the situation and TELLING them you didn't want them to think you were a single dude pretending to be a couple. Maybe further explain that you still plan on going to the meet and greet because you promised someone you would go (hell, you could offer to meet them as a "couple" with the single girlfriend in Dana's stead) and that you would really like to meet them another time when Dana was feeling well.
Not excusing their rush to judgment but we probably would have viewed a guy we've never met who showed up with a "note" with a raised eyebrow too. We once had a guy show up to meet us who explained that his girlfriend actually lives in Idaho and had to cancel her plans to come down to meet us. Then he proceeded to pull out a picture of her that had been cut out of a magazine. We both started laughing and he explained that she was a part time model.
The REAL kicker was that we eventually met her. She WAS a part time model/hairdresser and the guy was telling the truth. Unfortunately the guy turned out to be a total douchcopter. He treated her like shit (making derogatory comments,
etc.) so we told them that we didn't want to see them anymore. Perception is EVERYTHING in the lifestyle.
I think about the only way you could have avoided the situation you describe would have been to contact this couple prior to the meet and greet explaining the situation and TELLING them you didn't want them to think you were a single dude pretending to be a couple. Maybe further explain that you still plan on going to the meet and greet because you promised someone you would go (hell, you could offer to meet them as a "couple" with the single girlfriend in Dana's stead) and that you would really like to meet them another time when Dana was feeling well.
Not excusing their rush to judgment but we probably would have viewed a guy we've never met who showed up with a "note" with a raised eyebrow too. We once had a guy show up to meet us who explained that his girlfriend actually lives in Idaho and had to cancel her plans to come down to meet us. Then he proceeded to pull out a picture of her that had been cut out of a magazine. We both started laughing and he explained that she was a part time model.
The REAL kicker was that we eventually met her. She WAS a part time model/hairdresser and the guy was telling the truth. Unfortunately the guy turned out to be a total douchcopter. He treated her like shit (making derogatory comments,
etc.) so we told them that we didn't want to see them anymore. Perception is EVERYTHING in the lifestyle.
Hello-This is Dana. I figured I would reply to this thread because it concerns me in some way. First, I am a real woman. I do work full time (graveyards) and I attend college full time as well. Because of my work/school schedule I do not get out often as I like. And when I do, I am so damn tired! My husband has my "permission" to attend events and parties without my being there. He is an adult, and therefore no need to be watched like a child. For those of you who don't know, I will not be going to any more meet n greet events for a little while. This upcoming semester I will be taking 18 credit hours! Sorry, but I just want to graduate college before I am 80! However, I will NOT be going this summer semester and therefore I will have more time for a social life. We will still host the Ogden/Roy Coffee meet-ups on Sundays and for those people who are intrested in my actual excistance, you are more than welcome to come down and see Terry and myself. Also, when a friend of ours on this site has his next party, I will most likely will show up there as well. But otherwise I am on the "off the radar" till May 1, 2015. I hope you all will understand. And when I am "active" again, I will write a post. ~Dana
Good luck with school!
Go Dana!! My wife does that college stuff (yuck) you gotta put in alotta work to make it happen so sadly swinging becomes the 1st thing to cut
We don't do much swinging unless they come to Price Utah and we catch someone in our web lol
PS I drive truck you don't need edumcation ta shift and turn
Mr. Whooty
We don't do much swinging unless they come to Price Utah and we catch someone in our web lol PS I drive truck you don't need edumcation ta shift and turn
Mr. Whooty
EVILDOERS wrote:
The problem is, if you've been in the lifestyle for any length of time, you've probably been the victim of the ol' bait and switch and so you get a little bit gun shy. It's happened to us numerous times and it just keeps gettin' funnier and FUNNIER every time.
I think about the only way you could have avoided the situation you describe would have been to contact this couple prior to the meet and greet explaining the situation and TELLING them you didn't want them to think you were a single dude pretending to be a couple. Maybe further explain that you still plan on going to the meet and greet because you promised someone you would go (hell, you could offer to meet them as a "couple" with the single girlfriend in Dana's stead) and that you would really like to meet them another time when Dana was feeling well.
Not excusing their rush to judgment but we probably would have viewed a guy we've never met who showed up with a "note" with a raised eyebrow too. We once had a guy show up to meet us who explained that his girlfriend actually lives in Idaho and had to cancel her plans to come down to meet us. Then he proceeded to pull out a picture of her that had been cut out of a magazine. We both started laughing and he explained that she was a part time model.
The REAL kicker was that we eventually met her. She WAS a part time model/hairdresser and the guy was telling the truth. Unfortunately the guy turned out to be a total douchcopter. He treated her like shit (making derogatory comments,
etc.) so we told them that we didn't want to see them anymore. Perception is EVERYTHING in the lifestyle.
Yup. That's why I didn't get mad at them or something, I completely understood why it happened. But I did need to do something to try to short stop the rumor before it got any further than it already had, and since I couldn't remember their username, this was the only way I could think of. And I get the perception thing, I recently was supposedly going to go to an event when Dana was working, gonna be "sponsored" by someone and her date, who suddenly did a 180 and said "not comfortable sponsoring me". The day of the event some complications had cropped up, I guess I got a little anxious trying to find out whether or not I'd be going, 'cause of the time element, and got a little something, I dunno the word, maybe too intense, and it scared her off. I was still the same guy she'd thought was a nice person (which most folks think I am), but the perception changed.~ Terry
EVILDOERS wrote:
Not excusing their rush to judgment but we probably would have viewed a guy we've never met who showed up with a "note" with a raised eyebrow too.
Amen.
A married guy who shows up to a party without a date is a single male. (At least for the length of the party, anyway!)
You can dress it up however you want (wife couldn't make it, girlfriend gave me a hall pass, etc.) ... but the simple reality is that if you've got a guy standing there, all by himself, with no date, hoping to interact with couples, he's a single male for the purposes of that event / evening. (No idea how you can possibly call it anything else!)
We've been to events where a guy wanders over wanting to play with the female-half of us... (with no date in sight) and NOTHING gets my blood boiling more... "Dude.. this is not 'anyone can fuck my wife' night... go get a date and come back". And in that moment, it doesn't really matter if the guy's date is 100 feet away, 100 miles away, has given him a "note", or doesn't exist at all.. The reality is that he's standing there ALL ALONE hoping to score with my wife.
My wife and I do this as a couple... so a single guy with no girl standing next to him is an instant deal-killer (no matter how good the penmanship on the note is).
I'm sure there are others who do this for different reasons / have different rules... so I offer just one perspective here on why showing up without a date might be frowned upon.
AWHOOTY wrote:
Go Dana!! My wife does that college stuff (yuck) you gotta put in alotta work to make it happen so sadly swinging becomes the 1st thing to cut
PS I drive truck you don't need edumcation ta shift and turn
Mr. Whooty
And there's a decent chance I WILL keep going during the Summer semester while Dana takes a semester off, and MIGHT be performing in Summer Stock besides.
If that all happens, our situations will be sort of reversed, with Dana having more free time for a change.
And I used to have one of those drive anything that's on the road licenses (a New York Class 1 Chauffeur's license with MC endorsement), but I was in Germany from '82 through '89 and when I came back to the states discovered they'd gone to that national commercial drivers license thing and since I wasn't here when it happened I hadn't gotten grandfathered in. That license used to be my ticket to making some extra money whenever I needed to, and it was suddenly gone. It's a good thing I don't really have to work anymore, but even so, I wish I still had it. ~ Terry
BMSHELL wrote:EVILDOERS wrote:
Not excusing their rush to judgment but we probably would have viewed a guy we've never met who showed up with a "note" with a raised eyebrow too.
Amen.
A married guy who shows up to a party without a date is a single male. (At least for the length of the party, anyway!)
You can dress it up however you want (wife couldn't make it, girlfriend gave me a hall pass, etc.) ... but the simple reality is that if you've got a guy standing there, all by himself, with no date, hoping to interact with couples, he's a single male for the purposes of that event / evening. (No idea how you can possibly call it anything else!)
We've been to events where a guy wanders over wanting to play with the female-half of us... (with no date in sight) and NOTHING gets my blood boiling more... "Dude.. this is not 'anyone can fuck my wife' night... go get a date and come back". And in that moment, it doesn't really matter if the guy's date is 100 feet away, 100 miles away, has given him a "note", or doesn't exist at all.. The reality is that he's standing there ALL ALONE hoping to score with my wife.
My wife and I do this as a couple... so a single guy with no girl standing next to him is an instant deal-killer (no matter how good the penmanship on the note is).
I'm sure there are others who do this for different reasons / have different rules... so I offer just one perspective here on why showing up without a date might be frowned upon.
I think you might have missed something here. I had to go to that MnG 'cause I'd promised another girl I'd be there. And I didn't even try to hang around with that couple, after spending maybe 3 minutes total with the couple we were supposed to have met as a couple, I spent the rest of the time with her and her friends. Believe me, I KNOW a guy by himself is for all practical intents and purposes a single guy, period. With Dana's work schedule, I have to be that singe guy sometimes. The only difficulty here was that the couple decided I was a single guy masquerading on the site as a couple, and started passing that on to other people. ~ Terry
JUST_RACH wrote:
Also- if they lie/deceive you about both of them being there and one doesn't show up - makes you wonder what else they are willing to deceive you about.... D/D free? Really a swinger or just a cheater?
I don't know about you guys- but if a "couple" told me they were going to meet me- but only the male half showed up ..... I would be thankful I insisted on a public greet and was wearing my ankle holster..... Its just dangerous-scary-threatening-awkward.
Yup. Which is why my wife, who does play alone, never meets a single guy or even a couple without me being there. Then if everything looks OK I just leave. But we don't use ankle holsters. My Glock is usually on my hip, unless it's cold enough for a coat, then the 1911 might be under my shoulder instead. But I ain't tellin' anybody where her S&W might be hidden.
But shit happens sometimes, like the wife getting sick and deciding at literally the last minute she can't go, when it's too late to get hold of whoever you're supposed to meet 'cause all you have is their Swingular email and they will have already left the house. So once in a while, especially if the guy had to go anyway for some other reason, nobody is deceiving anybody. ~ Terry
I don't understand why it's so difficult to just say what you really are- a single male playing without the wife. Accounts here aren't expensive- make a seperate one and a couple one. that way expectations are clear!
Also
Sometimes they do that 'cause they figure a single guy won't get as many responses as a couple will, and think when they meet someone, they're so hot that the couple or girl will want to play anyway, or that they can talk their way around it. ~ Terry
So, I'm at the club, drinking. So please forgive... I totally thought you were the girl in the relationship because you write a fucking novel every time you post. To each his or her own, but damn, condense that shit. Sometimes the guilty ones talk the most, or at least has been my experience. I'm with the other posters, show up alone at too many events and you are a single guy. Post a pic in this thread with you holding hands with your lady and maybe that will slow the accusations. Just my three cents.
You liars!!! How dare you lie after you are verified VIP as a couple!? o.O
A. I do write. I guess I want to make sure I cover every if and or but. At least it's It's handy at school when they say write a 5 or 10 page paper, and everyone groans. All I have to do is write the thing, then spend a hour editing it to make it smaller.
Part of the problem is that I tend to just write as I'm thinking it, and that I can't type for spit. It actually takes me a whole lot longer to fix typos than it does to write whatever it was in the first place. If I also tried to edit it down after that (I have actually considered doing just that) and then fix all the new typos I caused doing that, something as long as this reply could take me well over an hour, I'm that bad.
B. You obviously haven't read the OP. I've been to a total of maybe 3 things single, and at one of those I wasn't REALLY single, it was a MnG that I took Dana to to meet her date and once I was sure he was OK (not dangerous) we went separate ways. This isn't about being called single 'cause I've gone to "too many" things by myself. This happened because we were supposed to meet a couple at a MnG, Dana got sick and decided she couldn't go at the last minute, but I had to go anyway 'cause I'd promised a single girl friend I'd be there. After spending maybe 3 minutes with the couple telling them what had happened, I left them and spent the rest of the time with that girl and her friends. But the couple thought I was a single guy pretending to be a couple and started telling people I was.
And I wonder if maybe I now know who created that new profile on what, Dec 24th, was it? If I do know, good for you. It was good for a couple laughs. But excuse me, now than someone else has added their two bits worth, I think I have a better idea who created that profile. ~ Terry
Part of the problem is that I tend to just write as I'm thinking it, and that I can't type for spit. It actually takes me a whole lot longer to fix typos than it does to write whatever it was in the first place. If I also tried to edit it down after that (I have actually considered doing just that) and then fix all the new typos I caused doing that, something as long as this reply could take me well over an hour, I'm that bad.
B. You obviously haven't read the OP. I've been to a total of maybe 3 things single, and at one of those I wasn't REALLY single, it was a MnG that I took Dana to to meet her date and once I was sure he was OK (not dangerous) we went separate ways. This isn't about being called single 'cause I've gone to "too many" things by myself. This happened because we were supposed to meet a couple at a MnG, Dana got sick and decided she couldn't go at the last minute, but I had to go anyway 'cause I'd promised a single girl friend I'd be there. After spending maybe 3 minutes with the couple telling them what had happened, I left them and spent the rest of the time with that girl and her friends. But the couple thought I was a single guy pretending to be a couple and started telling people I was.
And I wonder if maybe I now know who created that new profile on what, Dec 24th, was it? If I do know, good for you. It was good for a couple laughs. But excuse me, now than someone else has added their two bits worth, I think I have a better idea who created that profile. ~ Terry
NEWCOUPLE4FUN wrote:
So, I'm at the club, drinking. So please forgive... I totally thought you were the girl in the relationship because you write a fucking novel every time you post. To each his or her own, but damn, condense that shit. Sometimes the guilty ones talk the most, or at least has been my experience. I'm with the other posters, show up alone at too many events and you are a single guy. Post a pic in this thread with you holding hands with your lady and maybe that will slow the accusations. Just my three cents.
We couldn't agree more! There are 3 or 4 on here that think they need to comment to every post or start a new one. Just talking to hear themselves talk! So tired of the same people and their novels.
And I'm so tired of people who have nothing better to do than bitch about people who do something that has absolutely no effect on them at all. Nothing anyone writes on here keeps you from writing whatever you want. And nobody forces you to read anything. So what's the problem? Every OP and Reply has a username at the start. If you don't like reading what certain people have to say, when you see their usernames, just skip whatever it is.
Or are you a masochist? Quite a few people are, after all. If that's the case, keep reading the stuff and I, for one, am happy to help you out.
If that's not the case, you sound like a 14 year old girl who enjoys trying to cut down her classmates because it makes her feel better about herself. Not sayin' that you are, just that you sound like it, bitching about something someone does that doesn't hurt you, or anyone else, in any way. ~ Terry
Or are you a masochist? Quite a few people are, after all. If that's the case, keep reading the stuff and I, for one, am happy to help you out.
If that's not the case, you sound like a 14 year old girl who enjoys trying to cut down her classmates because it makes her feel better about herself. Not sayin' that you are, just that you sound like it, bitching about something someone does that doesn't hurt you, or anyone else, in any way. ~ Terry
Bwahahahahahahahahahah!!
JUST_RACH wrote:
I'm sorry - not trying to egg anything on here- I just have to point out the irony of calling someone a 14 year old girl then signing your name with a ~~~ .
Thats all ... carry on .
??????
What, does a tilde symbolize something? I just figure it's a good way to separate the text from the name, one which, as far as I know, doesn't mean anything at all.
SEYMOR_BUTZ wrote:
I read an article about a woman who has a horribly deceptive boyfriend. I imagine he lurks on swinger sites posing as a couple. Here is the link....Article link
Met that dude. He claims he has a really big "weiner".
We have found LOTS of 'couples' on here that are really single guys. We ask one basic question to weed them out. Sometimes they say they have a hall pass, sometimes they say she isn't interested, sometimes 'she's running late', sometimes she doesn't want her picture out there because she's being discreet (which cracks me up, because if you're a member of a swinger website, you're not being THAT discreet.) It's pretty easy:
"Can we have a non-nude picture of the two of you together holding a sign with today's date?" If 'they' can't do this one simple thing in the age of smartphones, then they are probably fake. It's a simple request, it's not an X-rated request, it's easy to comply with, and shouldn't offend. Voice verification with the females is always a bonus. Since we don't really attend Meet n' Greets, this is the way we like to 'couple'.
"Can we have a non-nude picture of the two of you together holding a sign with today's date?" If 'they' can't do this one simple thing in the age of smartphones, then they are probably fake. It's a simple request, it's not an X-rated request, it's easy to comply with, and shouldn't offend. Voice verification with the females is always a bonus. Since we don't really attend Meet n' Greets, this is the way we like to 'couple'.