Are you the kind of person who never quite reaches your New Years goals? Do you pretty much accomplish everything you set out to do in the New Year? Or do you make a big long list and bag it about two weeks in? What are your resolutions this year?
1) Finally lose those last pesky 75 pounds.
2) Quit smoking.
3) START smoking.
4) Finally get LAID! I mean who the fuck do you have to blow to get laid around here?
5) Move somewhere warm.
6) Cut back on your meth habit to twice a day.
7) Drag the Thighmaster out of the closet and finally get in shape.
8) Learn all those kinky Kama Sutra sex positions.
9) Learn to deepthroat.
10) Learn to chill out a little and not get so fucking pissed off when you don't get laid.
11) Finally get your cassette tape collection sorted and categorized...and make a kickass mix tape fer screwin'.
12) Stop reading Evil's stupid forum posts.
13) Start eating healthy shit like organic bacon and stuff.
14) Start wearing condoms when you swing.
15) Stop wearing condoms when you swing.
16) Finish reading all the Harry Potter books.
17) Stop watching so much tv.
18) Stop watching so much porn.
19) Be kinder to your fellow man...especially if it'll get you laid.
20) Swear off swinging and buy an anatomically correct sex doll.
1) Finally lose those last pesky 75 pounds.
2) Quit smoking.
3) START smoking.
4) Finally get LAID! I mean who the fuck do you have to blow to get laid around here?
5) Move somewhere warm.
6) Cut back on your meth habit to twice a day.
7) Drag the Thighmaster out of the closet and finally get in shape.
8) Learn all those kinky Kama Sutra sex positions.
9) Learn to deepthroat.
10) Learn to chill out a little and not get so fucking pissed off when you don't get laid.
11) Finally get your cassette tape collection sorted and categorized...and make a kickass mix tape fer screwin'.
12) Stop reading Evil's stupid forum posts.
13) Start eating healthy shit like organic bacon and stuff.
14) Start wearing condoms when you swing.
15) Stop wearing condoms when you swing.
16) Finish reading all the Harry Potter books.
17) Stop watching so much tv.
18) Stop watching so much porn.
19) Be kinder to your fellow man...especially if it'll get you laid.
20) Swear off swinging and buy an anatomically correct sex doll.
My NY resolution is to stay a tubby mexican and like it