Swingers Forum - This happened to me.. Can it happen to you?

They are no doubt jealous of you. Perhaps, they resent you for something and tried to humiliate you.

Wow! Talk about fucked up!!

crazy .... some people can't stop themselves from acting like immature jerks... this crosses the line.. all this is, is an attempt to hurt someone beyond the swing scene....this can affect jobs, family, and personal lives... this went to far! miss k, both miss b and i cant believe someone would do this..

For anyone who thinks that this person shouldn't be outed here on the site, I'm sorry, something like this should lose whoever did it their right to the privacy of their real identity. I have a sort of core belief that this lifestyle only works when you can commit to complete honesty, with your partner, your playmates, and with anyone you meet, or even see, in this particular world. This includes honesty about following the rules, because anyone who meets you is going to be assuming that they can trust you to do so. If they can't, then you've lied just by being there, and you have no right to be part of this community, because people like you can destroy it. Not to mention the fact that being there probably won't do you a whole lot of good anyway, since you're also mean spirited and juvenile. Mean spirited because of what you have done, and juvenile because you obviously think that beauty and attractiveness are limited to physical appearance, and the people you meet will, sooner or later, realize that about you and have nothing more to do with you. Being invited to meet someone in this lifestyle, or being invited or allowed to attend any lifestyle event, is a privilege, and it is one you do not deserve if you abuse it. Why on earth should someone's identity be protected by the same rule, directive, philosophy, whatever you want to call it, after he (or she or they) ignored it himself, especially when he did it in such a hateful way, obviously trying to hurt someone? And there is another consideration here. If people on the site don't know who did this, they can't protect themselves by making sure this absolute jerk isn't given the opportunity to do it again to someone else. Edmund Burke said, many years ago, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." What this person did was, in MHO, an evil.

I would like to add...
This was not posted by a "disguntled Male" that may have been rejected.
it was much more on the level
of ... TAMCA said it well..

Mean Spirited and Junenile

behavior of "some" that cycle in the Salt Lake area..

JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:

EVILDOERS wrote:

Whoever did this to you should be spayed AND neutered. I'd like to volunteer my services to help you do so. Oh, and I know you're not supposed to "out" anyone publically here in Swingularland and I think in all but the most grievous circumstances (someone has AIDS or something) this "prime directive" should be followed but I think this is one instance where naming this person is more than justified. If they're members here they deserved to be outed and to be ostracized. I will totally stand behind you in any beef with ADMIN if you get in trouble. Let's see who the rat bastard is!

You need to be more evil. I say beyond spayed and neutered. I say we give him the full Theon Greyjoy.

Who the fuck is Theon Greyjoy? Oh wait, is he that dude in Fifty Shades of Gay?

I think we should find someone with a huge, big ass, ginormous air compressor and shove the hose tip up their urethra and hit "play".
(That evil enough for ya?)

IDK

maybe its just me
but when i read those written words
what screams in my ears is
ITS A FEMALE !!!
Not the words of a male
it sounds like words a jealous, envious, immature, spoiled little teenage girl that didn't get her way and is somehow and lashing out to be mean.

IDK

I understand not naming the persons (i say female or females)
but truely !!! They should be !!!
this is exactly what we are fear to happen
so many profiles say
We want to meet people that will be discreet
this is so far from discreet it breaks all the rules
i don't want to know people like this on this site. it scares me there is people here that have no regard for privacy.
wonder how they would feel if kandyk did the same thing to them.
betting they would want to call her out
I for one, want them publically called out, outed and removed from this site

This is the one bad apple in a community of good people
one bad apple spoils it for all..

You don't have to out the person my their real name. You could just say who it was by their screen name. They would still have their privacy so you wouldn't be stooping to their level and being as you say as inappropriate as them. Yet there will still be justice as they will be shunned from this community for not playing by the rules.

Sucks

I posted a reply to this a couple days back. But then I sent an email to KandyK. And now I know that it was females that did it, and I also think it was posted on some lifestyle site. She didn't actually say it was, but I inferred that from her reply. While I had considered the possibility that it had been a woman, couple, or women, I had decided it was probably some guy, and that it might have been posted on some non-lifestyle site, in an attempt to out her to the vanilla world. My original post here was based on that assumption, and so was my email to her, but the email was maybe a little more detailed in explaining why (IMHO) it was such a horrible thing to do, a complete violation of trust, trust without which this lifestyle cannot function. It turns out it was actually a case of backbiting, no doubt driven by some kind of jealousy (maybe their men wanted to play with her more than they did with these girls?), and is something I'd expect to find in some Junior High girl's locker room, NOT here in a community of, supposedly, adults. So I'm cutting and pasting that email I sent her into this reply. I hope the girls who did this see it, and I hope that they realize what a nasty and horrible thing it is that they tried to do, and that they never do anything like this again. And the ONLY reason I'm not still trying to urge KandyK to out them is that it wouldn't be fair to their partners, who apparently had nothing to do with this and weren't even aware of it. I hope they do know about it now, and have done something about it.


After seeing that "This happened to me, and posting something about it, I finally took a look at your profile. Just wanted to say, from what can be seen from your public pix, you are NOT "hideous" In fact, you're one hot looking lady, but I'm sure you already know that. And you're in your mid fifties but look "a lot older"? In the first place, who the Hell cares, I'm in my mid sixties, and in the second place this idiot has obviously confused looking a lot older with looking a lot younger. Not too surprising, for a guy who doesn't even have 5th grade English skills, confusing "rode" with "road" when he says you've been "road hard" and who says "they" use the screen name Wershi and "is" on a site. And any guy who isn't totally, completely, girl-hatingly, homosexual, or maybe a pedophile or strictly into bestiality or something, would have to be "passed out drunk with the lights out" to NOT want to do you. This evil, ignorant jerk's post, with terms like "mass orgies" sounds like some right wing religious fanatic who has "infiltrated" the community in order to destroy it, who is targeting someone who has been helping people get together. And I truly believe that you SHOULD out the guy. It would not be a case of being inappropriate. For one thing, you wouldn't be telling anyone about his sexual proclivities or anything, which is really what that "prime directive" is all about, in this society where the plain vanillas really come down on people who aren't completely "normal" like they are. And even if you were telling people something like that, you'd be doing it on this site, where everyone already knows that everyone else here enjoys things that society thinks are wrong. So you wouldn't be endangering his social standing, career, marriage, or any of the other things that talking outside the lifestyle about someone that is in it can endanger. I'm assuming he didn't post his nasty comments on another lifestyle site. If he did, though, it's just as bad, but in a different way. If his post is on some lifestyle site, he's trying to hurt you within this community, which would itself be bad enough, but he's trying to do it to a nice lady who, from what I've seen on the site, goes out of her way to help other people enjoy this lifestyle. But the most important reason for you to out him is that if he will do this to you he will absolutely do it again to others, sooner or later, and if people do not know who he is, they have no way to protect themselves. He NEEDS to be outed. If you, for example, discovered some day that some guy who says he's absolutely straight does, in fact, when in bed with a couple girls and another guy, like to play with the guy as much as with the girls, would you out that, even here? Of course you wouldn't. But... if you discovered that some guy who knew he was HIV positive was having unprotected sex with people and keeping his infection a secret, would you out that? I think you would. So what's the difference? That second guy is knowingly endangering others, and people need to know to protect themselves by not associating with him. What this jerk did puts him in the same category as that second guy. And in this case, he doesn't even have the "poor me, if I tell people, I'll never be able to have sex again" excuse. That not much of an excuse, but it is at least an excuse, and he doesn't even have one that bad. Outing whoever did this would not be a betrayal of trust, it would be an act of self defense on behalf of everyone in this lifestyle. I really hope you decide to tell everyone who he is, at least his user name on the site. And I really hope his nastiness didn't actually hurt you, but I kinda think you're probably too sure about yourself and your worth for that to have happened, and know that this says a whole lot about him, but not a thing bad about you.

SIMPLEPLEASURES wrote:

What I hate, we hate if folks that want to complain about how bad they ahve been treated but then not willing to say by who. Either someone treated you badly and you should share that information to help fellow pervs keep clear or

SHUT THE FUCK UP and quit complaining!

If you are so scared that someone will find out you fuck your neigbors wife then perhaps this is not for you. Sure if folks found out about us it could be uncomfortable. But we are not afraid of it and I suspect we have as much to loos as anybody onthe site.

So pleas SHUT THE FUCK UP OR QUIT PUTTING ON THE PITTY PARTY!!!!!!!

Jesus Dwarf Tossing Christ! Who stole all the marshmallows out of YOUR Lucky Charms? Harsh, dude. Very harsh. Hopefully you will never have to experience something like the OP did. I would suggest maybe a nice cup of camomile tea and some anger management classes.

Thank you everyone for your comments. they are very interesting in many ways and some very inspiring.
and thank you to the many many people that emailed me on the back side. there are so many people expressing their opinions and all mirror what my thoughts had been more than not.

OH.. and i do owe 2 giant yells out of thanks to two members that actually alerted me to the wrong doing. unfortunately in my shock, i forgot to get the name of the one in Chicago. But i do still have his/her number and will send a message privately to update whats happening.
but one, who according to his profile here, is 1969 miles away in New Jersey, whom I still talk with on phone, texts and email. someone that helped me keep my thoughts straight and my anger in check. A stranger.. who just emailed me and said this post was a "Home Run"
although i am not sure what his opinion was when i told him i was going to do it.. lol I think he was skeptical.. lol

But Thank you Seth of New Jersey.. for watching my back, and continuing to watch my back, and checking in here and there over the last couple months to see how i was doing with all this, even tho we have never met

and actually, with that said, there are few local friends, that are also informed, that have also helped me keep my anger in check. and you know who you are
I thank you all for your support through this ... in this case we all have met lol xo

I was thinking, if people wouldn't mind, that I would like to copy, paste and post the words of some the emails I am getting on the flip side (discreetly of course) removing any thing that may lead to the persons identity that emailed me. since they chose emailing me privately, instead of posting, which was their way of saying, they wanted to make private comment but every ones comments matter and if not being openly public was an issue, then me posting the words still leaves them in sense private.. including some of the original posts on the original forum that were deleted when i deleted the thread .. if there are any that has emailed me that would rather i not post the words of their emails, do let me know. some of your thoughts, and concerns are worth mention.

there has been so many that say, out them. I just want to mention, that the remarks made, were directly driven an me in this instance..
yes, maybe the same could happen to you and maybe not. or maybe it even has..
but this isn't like they have HIV, or have some super weird fetish that people should beware of..
personalities do differ.. someone that gets along with me may clash with you and visa versa. for me to throw them to the wolves openly makes me as less of a person,as they were when they threw me to the wolves..
The sad part is, when people get along for years then suddenly they do something this malicious. one has to wonder if they are glad they showed their true colors or be saddened by it. Since I did like them.. I think both..

And yes, i have had so many friends emailing asking.. if they should be worried... what am I to say??
I have no idea.. maybe they should be worried maybe not.
who am i to say, when or if they will be the next target or if there even will be a next target..
I just dont know.

My mind is heavy with all these thoughts and decisions..
Not asking for Pity, just asking for your thoughts. and who knows.. once i understand what the majority thinks.. I will sing like a canary.. who knows..

*** And not intending to high jack my own thread.. LOL .. But hope to see you all at my MeetNGreet this Friday ***
***And.. not to disappoint you all.. But they are NOT massive orgies*** sorry.. lol

If the culprit is willing to attempt to burn you in this manner, they will likely do the same thing to others. We have often talked about a need to compile a list of members here who are flakes or misrepresent themselves on their profiles, much in the same way we use comments to vouch for other members.

That said, I think people who choose to do things like this need to have their names and information posted on the site, not as retribution, for the the privacy and protection of everyone else.

That's why some people don't put pictures on here! I have 200 realities in utah.maybe that's why I dont get any action

Big Juan. I would like to clarify.... The picture that was posted was NEVER posted on this website. That picture was taken on a cell phone at a bar in west Jordan.. There was only a very small group of people hanging out. I know exactly from where the picture originated..

LOL Evildo ..
I will remember that.. although...
apparently...
I am so hideously old, rode hard, and hung out to dry, that I might not be capable to ....
LOL LOL

Well KandyK,
I think we've just about beat this dead horse into glue. I'll just chime in one last time (unless someone writes something that deserves a totally snarky response, then all bets are off). If you altruistically want to follow the TOS to the letter of the law and not out this person you might want to at least shoot off an email to Rob (ADMIN) and let him know what happened (including all screen shots, etc.). I think he'd be very interested to know about a person like this who is on his site. Just a thought.