The more i read profiles these days the more discussed i get in some people's attitude. Why do so many couples and singles have such a negative attitude toward other people? It's one thing to say what you are looking for and what you are not looking for, but it's another thing to put people down and call them names just because they are not like you. The authors of some profiles end up degrading themselves while describing the people they don't want to associate with. The quote below came from a profile from another adult site, but it represents the attitudes of so many. To those who author respectful profiles, thanks! I totally enjoy reading nice profiles without all the negative comments.
Almost everytime I login and read stuff on this site, it makes me wonder, why am I a member.
With agreement I would like to say that being a single male has been a belittling experience. Try as I have, I always feel as though I have to appear before a parole board. I was even told that there must be a reason I am divorced twice, thanks to judge, jury and executioner.
well it isn't only in some people's profile but it is also in some of the people responses on the forum post also the degrade and talk about people to,if you read some of the post you will see some people say's if you cant spell right than quote (you to stupid for them) but what they dont know is the person or couple may could be the best friend they ever had if people would give them the chance like we do.rather they are a single male or a couple.
joe and carol
joe and carol
WELCOME TO THE HUMAN RACE
I know you have all heard the ole' saying .................................................................
People would BITCH if you didn't HANG THEM with a NEW ROPE.
I know you have all heard the ole' saying .................................................................
People would BITCH if you didn't HANG THEM with a NEW ROPE.
IMHO, any profile that shows negativity is not a profile that we would be interested in anyway. We joined this site to meet open-minded, sexually fun people that we can chat with, meet with, share good times with, and become friends with. All positive things. We are fun loving and want to enhance our already awesome relationship. Chrissy and I have had enough negativity in our past, we do not want that going forward.
Here is a pic to remind others what it all comes down to.
Ron
Here is a pic to remind others what it all comes down to.
Ron
I also would like to add to this string. If you are an asshole you won't get any!!! It's that simple. People come on complaining about how people don't want to do anything with them and sometimes when I read their posts, i wonder why anyone would want to do ANYTHING at all with them (i.e. cup of coffee, stand in an elevator), negativity and anger are obvious things you read right away about other people. ESPECIALLY if the readers are people who spend time intimately with others.
I'm not condoning Negativity or anything, but its just a sign of frustration. You can tell the ones who get flooded with Emails form Single guys and arent interested. They put the 'No Single guys' lines in their profile. The ones who never get replies put " We reply to all messages", then there are those who are just having a hell of a time and aren't patient. Those are the ones who put every kind of restriction on themselves, by posting restrictions in the profile.
I'll admit our profile sways like a tree in the wind, sometimes we get frustrated and change our profile and few days later we go back and change it. To be honest we havent found any specific combination that works better. We've tried with photos, without, with specific and then vague. We still don't get mail and if it werent for the hope we have that we will eventually find someone through this site, we wouldnt be back.
I jsut love how we have read post after post about profiles and the use of mail but yet it doesnt change anything. We're still waiting to meet someone from this site.
p.s. the Quick tip on this page says "Upload a photo and get 20 times the response". We have photos, yet 0 responses before X 20 for photos now still equals 0
I'll admit our profile sways like a tree in the wind, sometimes we get frustrated and change our profile and few days later we go back and change it. To be honest we havent found any specific combination that works better. We've tried with photos, without, with specific and then vague. We still don't get mail and if it werent for the hope we have that we will eventually find someone through this site, we wouldnt be back.
I jsut love how we have read post after post about profiles and the use of mail but yet it doesnt change anything. We're still waiting to meet someone from this site.
p.s. the Quick tip on this page says "Upload a photo and get 20 times the response". We have photos, yet 0 responses before X 20 for photos now still equals 0
Our profile depicts US and our attitude, we have been writing it for 10 years and as we evolve, it evolves.
If people read our profile and leave with a negative feeling then it served it's purpose. If on the other hand they read it and feel they have true insight into our personalities then it served it's purpose WELL.
People in the lifestyle are simply a piece of the big pie, we have proportional numbers of negative, positive, the good the bad and the UGLY as found in the general population.
Expecting different will cause one disgust.
If people read our profile and leave with a negative feeling then it served it's purpose. If on the other hand they read it and feel they have true insight into our personalities then it served it's purpose WELL.
People in the lifestyle are simply a piece of the big pie, we have proportional numbers of negative, positive, the good the bad and the UGLY as found in the general population.
Expecting different will cause one disgust.
I can understand the frustration as well. We got pics too and no responses. :-) Gee I must be scaring them off. LOL
nobody perfect in this world ...but too many peope think they are ...
M
M
The hostility in some of the forums and a little unsettling. Can't we all get along comes to mind. LOL I would imagine that a new person to the lifestyle might be turned off by a lot of the hostility. There are so many other good things we can discuss why not do so and leave the hostility behind.
We just got home from our usual Sunday party at the local swing club. We had numerous conversations with a few friends about "conversation". You never hear of people talk about conversations. Everyone just wants to have sex, but since many of us are couples and the other part are just horny, they forget that you have to have some sort of chemistry to get to the point of wanting sex.
This leads to conversation. The whole 'courting' of a mate has been removed from the expectations of many. We never just go have sex with people, atleast now through the internet. We expect to sit down and find chemistry, find out if we click. In the swing club world you have the oppurtunity to engage in sex without this, but through a website meeting format, its almost required.
If people would get off the internet thought process and get back to the face to face communication skills, we all would probably be happier. How many people have been pissed off by a forum post, or a profile, when infact they read the words wrong. If they would hear it with their own ears, the way the writer intended the meaning would be completely different. Things like sarcasm or words meant from the heart are always misread. So the person reading it gets the wrong impression which leads to more tension.
So quit reading into profiles, look at the pics, find the desires you want and tell them you want to meet. Once you meet in person, thats the only way to truly know if you have a bond.
This leads to conversation. The whole 'courting' of a mate has been removed from the expectations of many. We never just go have sex with people, atleast now through the internet. We expect to sit down and find chemistry, find out if we click. In the swing club world you have the oppurtunity to engage in sex without this, but through a website meeting format, its almost required.
If people would get off the internet thought process and get back to the face to face communication skills, we all would probably be happier. How many people have been pissed off by a forum post, or a profile, when infact they read the words wrong. If they would hear it with their own ears, the way the writer intended the meaning would be completely different. Things like sarcasm or words meant from the heart are always misread. So the person reading it gets the wrong impression which leads to more tension.
So quit reading into profiles, look at the pics, find the desires you want and tell them you want to meet. Once you meet in person, thats the only way to truly know if you have a bond.
well our view of the lifestyle is honesty if you cant be honest with us like we are you then dont even take up our time.if you cant be that way then why are you even in the lifstyle?
joe
joe
Wanted to jump in on this subject badly...we have been on both ends of this so many times we can't count. The point was made about meeting and honing face-to-face skill and we have to agree...we have found even when we go out it is hard to put aside that "search by categories" mode. So far as writing a profile, we have changed ours several times thru the years to reflect what goes on in our lives. We have a profile on another site that I had just changed again, due to the frustrations. We had put up a long detailed description in each heading, what we look like, what we like to do and look for, and a few specific fantasies as well...nothing...over 5000 online at a time at times, and nothing. Our paid time ran out on the site so we took down our photos and trimmed our responses to a couple words or one-liners at most, and have gotten more mail ini the last couple weeks than we have in the 3 prior years on that site. I guess it just goes to show how capsulated our lives have become...products of the MTV generation, instant-gratification-oriented with no patience and little reading skills....
Negative comments that we hav eposted in profiles have gotten us some responses also and have to agree that if they reflect a specific portion of one's life, then they do serve a purpose to let others know about it.
Just as an aside here, we have been members on this site for quite a while and have not ever met anyone form this site. There are of course reasons for this....like we are quite far from a majority of the members here. This forum section on this site is one fo the finest we have seen on the internet sites and the posts we have read have shown us that we are not alone in all the things we seek and feel. Our thanks go out to all who have shared at many levels for just that.
Negative comments that we hav eposted in profiles have gotten us some responses also and have to agree that if they reflect a specific portion of one's life, then they do serve a purpose to let others know about it.
Just as an aside here, we have been members on this site for quite a while and have not ever met anyone form this site. There are of course reasons for this....like we are quite far from a majority of the members here. This forum section on this site is one fo the finest we have seen on the internet sites and the posts we have read have shown us that we are not alone in all the things we seek and feel. Our thanks go out to all who have shared at many levels for just that.
I have to say that even though I would not be that negative in my profile, they do have a very legitimate point in every issue they brought up. It is as simple as this, there are a lot of people out there who are trying to cash in on the benefits of this lifestyle without following the basic rules of etiquette. They don't belong in the lifestyle. I can see where some people get fed up. Just because you call yourself a swinger doesn't mean you are one. Attitude, trust and respect are very important , and some just don't seem to consider this. There is plenty room for differences in the lifestyle if you want to follow a few rules and be respectful.
Thanks KY couple. We will sure keep that in mind. :-) We looked at trailers this weekend. HAve to set up some camping fun. :-)
We agree with Lustytwo and feel that respect and consideration of others would go a long way.
We agree with Lustytwo and feel that respect and consideration of others would go a long way.
FL4FUN: that is one hell of a profile! I know it is true to your experiences and desires, but I had to laugh my ass off reading it. It does say you know what you are looking for!!! It is a far cry from the "New to the site, exploring the lifestyle." The humor was great. Thanks for the laugh and nope, not interested in ya. You can just fast forward passed this message. 
Christian
PS. Before I get flamed, read their profile and enjoy it for what it is. Don't read into it.
Christian
PS. Before I get flamed, read their profile and enjoy it for what it is. Don't read into it.
I full blown laughed outloud and blew milk through my nose reading that profile. I think i have an idea for a new thread, the most entertaingin profile on swingular!
lol that was the funniest profile i ever read,but it looks like it was the guy who typed it to me.and kinda of sounds like to me there better than anyone else and they are perfect,wrongggggg sorry your not perfect.you talk about others and put them down for what they want and are seeking i thought one of the old saying's ive heard is you dont know untill you ask and what is wrong with free trial and trying to make friends hmmmmmm.and what is wrong with wacthing p.p.v wrestling?and by the way you spelled a word wrong also.and yes i know i cant spell never said i did,and sorry and if your thinking we are a stupid ignorant couple well i dont think so she is in her second year of collage and going to be graduating in april with a 3.97 gpa and we also dont have to work for people and make them money(amway)lolwe own our own buisness to be exact for 6-years now.but that is my two cents.
joe
joe
damn forgot, the reason why people say "no this, and no that" is simple. And people who think we are more closed minded than "vanillas" is pretty simple. We know what we want, and what we do not want, and unlike vanillas, we are not afraid to say it. It is not negativity, it is positive....like I am POSITIVE that I do not like to be chained to a wall and flogged with chains....not bagging on people who do, just not what we want ya know.
I'm all for being specific and stating exactly what you are and are not looking for. It makes it so much easier!
But when you get into sticking a label on someone because of what they are "into", you're just making yourself out to be a closed minded bitch/asshole. What in the world happened to politely acknowledging that it's not for you, but still being able to celebrate our differences?
"You shouldn't be in the lifestyle, shame on you!" I thought the great thing about the lifestyle is that there are so many varying levels. So many options. Room for growth, regression, what have you.
But when you get into sticking a label on someone because of what they are "into", you're just making yourself out to be a closed minded bitch/asshole. What in the world happened to politely acknowledging that it's not for you, but still being able to celebrate our differences?
"You shouldn't be in the lifestyle, shame on you!" I thought the great thing about the lifestyle is that there are so many varying levels. So many options. Room for growth, regression, what have you.
Whether on this site, or another, anyone with a bad attitude is not going to meet many people. But, they have the right to thier opinion, i guess.
Yes i agree with negative attitudes and wonder why we are on here to meet people.I have wrote a few negative thoughts on here only cause of what people has said and i dont think im wrong about it.
Ive allways been very up front with people on this site, theres tons of negative people on here, my thing with people is they dont care who or what they meet, but then allways down you or the way you look. Make any sense?
"My whole attitude on people like that, hell with you i dont need you or anyone else. I can get a piece of ass weather it be with you or not "
This is all for pleasure(or more pleasure in the bedroom).
Ive allways been very up front with people on this site, theres tons of negative people on here, my thing with people is they dont care who or what they meet, but then allways down you or the way you look. Make any sense?
"My whole attitude on people like that, hell with you i dont need you or anyone else. I can get a piece of ass weather it be with you or not "
This is all for pleasure(or more pleasure in the bedroom).
It's always interesting and humorus a bit to see people get upset about the topics and things that are said on this site. The bottom line is there are all types of people in this world, good-bad-indifferent, or what have you. You can not control what others will say or do,(nor would we want to) but we do however have the ability as adults to choose how to react or not to them. Who cares what negative comments others have in their profiles,why let it get at you? It tells us that we are not interested and have nothing in common with them and we move on. Sometimes we wonder why there is always so much drama .... brush it off!!! You only live once, live it up while you can!!!
*cnkiss- we are glad your POSITIVE about not wanting to be chained to a wall, ya had us wondering .. lol.
*cnkiss- we are glad your POSITIVE about not wanting to be chained to a wall, ya had us wondering ..
lol.