Last night Greg and I ventured out together into the "straight bar scene" again (*Edit-We went to Club Vegas for the Meet & Greet, and did have a good time over all, just for the record. Suz & Dre do a bang up job!!!), it was an interesting evening to say the least. Prior to our first swing party I joked with Greg about it being our "Coming Out Party" LOL. We were both so excited about our first party and did have a good time. However, once there I came to a sudden realization that I had not been in a straight club for over 15 years. In college and after, even now really, I always chose to hang out with girlfriends or my eternal "gay boyfriends" just because I always felt comfortable there. Yes, I was the picture perfect "Fag Hag" in college and that probably led me to places and things that broadened my horizons and introduced me to many more things that I could possibly imagine and I am so thankful for all of that experience. However, it does kind of taint you to the "straight world".
I have always lived my life kinda "balls to the wall" so to speak. Never really feeling self conscious about who I was, about my bi-sexuality or about how I looked. People love me for me and if they don't "Fuck 'Em!". But last night being thrust back into the "dating" scene for the first time in 8 years was quite the eye opening experience. The kind that makes you feel like a complete idiot the next morning...although leaves you still questioning yourself; Hence the need to blog. (The writer comes out in many forms sometimes LOL).
I was trying to explain this to a friend of mine but it didn't come out well and even as I formulate the words you are reading right now it still may not make sense. If it doesn't just "go with it" (oh how those words have gotten me into trouble in the past hehe). But I digress...
Now, you may be asking yourself, "Why would going to a straight bar be so different?". That, dear reader, is what has been perplexing me all day. So, let me try to describe some of the differences I see and have felt.
When I walk into a Girl bar I feel like I am walking into a situation on equal footing. No matter what I look like, no matter what I am wearing, no matter what my size is. Now, many of you might think "Yea right, it
I have always lived my life kinda "balls to the wall" so to speak. Never really feeling self conscious about who I was, about my bi-sexuality or about how I looked. People love me for me and if they don't "Fuck 'Em!". But last night being thrust back into the "dating" scene for the first time in 8 years was quite the eye opening experience. The kind that makes you feel like a complete idiot the next morning...although leaves you still questioning yourself; Hence the need to blog. (The writer comes out in many forms sometimes LOL).
I was trying to explain this to a friend of mine but it didn't come out well and even as I formulate the words you are reading right now it still may not make sense. If it doesn't just "go with it" (oh how those words have gotten me into trouble in the past hehe). But I digress...
Now, you may be asking yourself, "Why would going to a straight bar be so different?". That, dear reader, is what has been perplexing me all day. So, let me try to describe some of the differences I see and have felt.
When I walk into a Girl bar I feel like I am walking into a situation on equal footing. No matter what I look like, no matter what I am wearing, no matter what my size is. Now, many of you might think "Yea right, it
Hi there Amy,
Just one little bit of info that I didn't get from your post. Was this a vanilla stright bar by any chance. Or was this like a swinging MnG bar?
I may not be Yoda (frankly I'm tall and white, not short and green) but I do know what you mean about vibes.
Just one little bit of info that I didn't get from your post. Was this a vanilla stright bar by any chance. Or was this like a swinging MnG bar?
I may not be Yoda (frankly I'm tall and white, not short and green) but I do know what you mean about vibes.
Well I am no prize whine ether but I don
Amy,
Anyone who wouldn't be attracted to your beautiful smile and the spirit in your eyes is simply not worth worrying about. As a slightly country friend of mine used to say, "Don't pay them no nevermind. They ain't no kin to you."
Glen
Anyone who wouldn't be attracted to your beautiful smile and the spirit in your eyes is simply not worth worrying about. As a slightly country friend of mine used to say, "Don't pay them no nevermind. They ain't no kin to you."
Glen
Welcome to Utah! I feel the same way when we go to these parties and we have been in this lifestyle for over 10 yrs. We came from an area where it was not as noticeable. There it did not feel like you had to fit in a clique here you do. It makes it very hard but when you find the right people it is very much worth it.
I don't want it to sound like we were soured on the experience, because it was a lot of fun, but it has that feeling of dating all over again, which, both Amy and I are out of practice with. The good news is that I've learned that I have a bit of rhythm and we met some fantastic people that we'd been chatting with and saw quite a few people who we'd like to get to know better! 
All in all, it was very much a learning experience and I think that once Amy and I get back into the "dating groove", we'll feel more ourselves and ready to conquer the world!
Being a slow starter can always be a problem in these situations because I find it hard to read body language and get a feel for the situation. Amy, however seems VERY adept at it and more able to figure out the "vibes" from people, but because we're rusty, it's taking a little bit more time, which I'm glad people are being patient with us for.
I can always count on Amy to take the lead in these situations because I'll be the first to admit that I'm relatively socially retarded and sometimes wouldn't catch a hint unless she was there to spell it out for me. Usually, I just add a couple beers and it doesn't matter as much that I can't dance or that I can't get the hint. I just focus on her and everything else fades out. Is there such a thing as social tunnel vision?
-Greg
All in all, it was very much a learning experience and I think that once Amy and I get back into the "dating groove", we'll feel more ourselves and ready to conquer the world!
Being a slow starter can always be a problem in these situations because I find it hard to read body language and get a feel for the situation. Amy, however seems VERY adept at it and more able to figure out the "vibes" from people, but because we're rusty, it's taking a little bit more time, which I'm glad people are being patient with us for.
I can always count on Amy to take the lead in these situations because I'll be the first to admit that I'm relatively socially retarded and sometimes wouldn't catch a hint unless she was there to spell it out for me. Usually, I just add a couple beers and it doesn't matter as much that I can't dance or that I can't get the hint. I just focus on her and everything else fades out. Is there such a thing as social tunnel vision?
-GregWe know all to well how that goes, but we have learned to say hey if they dont like us so be it let them be that way. We look for the person on the inside and not the outside if we did it that way we wouldnt have never met some of the coolest people in our life..
Utah isnt nothing try idaho you would think We where the captital of MORMONVIL. We had one Bikini bar and now its closed so we have to travel over a 100 miles just togo to a swinger friendly club.
Ignore the vib that others put out and be yourself. Its a hard task to master but we have learned todo it and now enjoy life to the fullest of our time limit...
TnB
Utah isnt nothing try idaho you would think We where the captital of MORMONVIL. We had one Bikini bar and now its closed so we have to travel over a 100 miles just togo to a swinger friendly club.
Ignore the vib that others put out and be yourself. Its a hard task to master but we have learned todo it and now enjoy life to the fullest of our time limit...
TnB
For us here in Texas we feel the same way, I almost everytime feel like an outsider whenever we attend a party. It seems (to us anyway) that if your not part of a clique then NO ONE is seriously interested.
I think we all feel that way. Most of the time I am faking my way through it. I was teased by my sister so bad when we were kids, and I think it has stuck with me. My hubby is so great about making me feel sexy and desired. I wish everyone would try to get to know a person be for they judge!! Lynn
Keep in mind too that some in this 'vanilla' bar scene may wish they could be like you too. :-)
Reading all the posts here and looking at the photos on the profiles make us wish we were in utah.You truely are a lovely lot.
The couple in Spring Hill look good too...And Texas.......stc
We went to a swingers club once..ONCE!!We found it rather cliquy.
We didn't know what to do there,people were wandering off to rooms,we didn't know if we should follow,wait to be invited or whatever.
My wife got more interest than I did(from single guys usually),and being basically shy,I just stood back.Everyone seemed to be chatting and ignoring us.
We travelled quite a way to get to this place,and we won't go again that's for sure.
It seems to us that house parties are the best way to go to meet new people.we tried those with some success.
We once went to a lesbian bar just to see what it was like.I tell you,they were really friendly.People chatted to us,wanted to know where I was from because of the accent.We didn't go to pick anyone up(fat chance for me,they were all gay girls..LOL)But had a great time.
The couple in Spring Hill look good too...And Texas.......stc
We went to a swingers club once..ONCE!!We found it rather cliquy.
We didn't know what to do there,people were wandering off to rooms,we didn't know if we should follow,wait to be invited or whatever.
My wife got more interest than I did(from single guys usually),and being basically shy,I just stood back.Everyone seemed to be chatting and ignoring us.
We travelled quite a way to get to this place,and we won't go again that's for sure.
It seems to us that house parties are the best way to go to meet new people.we tried those with some success.
We once went to a lesbian bar just to see what it was like.I tell you,they were really friendly.People chatted to us,wanted to know where I was from because of the accent.We didn't go to pick anyone up(fat chance for me,they were all gay girls..LOL)But had a great time.
I, the guy part of this couple, read your post with great interest. It threw me back to thoughts of modern day polictical correctness and the appropriateness of peoples actions (or inactions). I started to ponder myself in the same situation many years ago. I started to think of how I may have been guilty of being cold to a new comer. However much it may have been unintended.
THEN, I thought
............ she sure has nice tits. Have fun.
Ralph (and Nancy too)
THEN, I thought
............ she sure has nice tits. Have fun.
Ralph (and Nancy too)
Well thank you ALL for such great responses to this post. Since it was done we have ventured out a couple more times and are feeling a little more at ease. In fact I can not WAIT for the Club Vegas Party on 3.10.06. I definitely need to get my groove on and feel that I will be much better prepared this time. Plus I just really can't wait to dance my ass off!!!
As for my Tits...thank you soooooo much. I do so love it when someone finds them fun toys to play with hehe.
Hope to meet alot more people this time around...:z
/grabs her dance card and dancin' shoes
~Amy~
As for my Tits...thank you soooooo much. I do so love it when someone finds them fun toys to play with hehe.
Hope to meet alot more people this time around...:z
/grabs her dance card and dancin' shoes
~Amy~