We have had some issues with other couples in the past not many but a few. Our profile is really thorough and discribes us well to a tee. So here is my ?
We had a couple one time got involved with us and it so happened to be with them that they didn't want us to get too attached to them LOL. Well that was fine with us our relationship is very solid. Then after about a month we noticed them getting all bent outta shape when we would hook up with other couples. Here is where it gets very interesting and Funny as well. They actually demanded us not to see anyone but them. Really kinda funny how the thing they feared most was loseing us and the object of their fear was what inturn pushed us away due to there demand.
Let us know your Horror stories they can be very comical and educational for others to see and learn from.
kisses,
Tre and Jessica
We had a couple one time got involved with us and it so happened to be with them that they didn't want us to get too attached to them LOL. Well that was fine with us our relationship is very solid. Then after about a month we noticed them getting all bent outta shape when we would hook up with other couples. Here is where it gets very interesting and Funny as well. They actually demanded us not to see anyone but them. Really kinda funny how the thing they feared most was loseing us and the object of their fear was what inturn pushed us away due to there demand.
Let us know your Horror stories they can be very comical and educational for others to see and learn from.
kisses,
Tre and Jessica
We had friends that happened to LOL....they were seeing this cpl on a casual basis,doing things with the kids involved waterparks etc. All was going well until the female in the cpl told my friend I think its time we "committ" to each other and see nobody else. My gf was taken aback and ask "you mean like married the other woman was like yeah exactly",when they got home they called Jimmy and I and she was telling me about it. Now bear in mind these folks were plationic friends only so it meant nothing to me either way since I didn' t think she was talking about ALL their friends in the lifestyle playmates or other wise. Long story short she meant exactly that,even wanted my friend to wear a "ring" from her hubby and vice versa,it was really WEIRD. They decieded right then and there to break it off with the cpl but to this day 3 yrs later they still call wanting to "hook-up" she tells my gf all the time she is inlove with her. Thank goodness we have never experianced anything like that.
Becky and Jimmy
Becky and Jimmy
There are a lot of swingers out there that
1) should consider themselves Poly. meaning they want a meaningful relationship with others.
or
2) they have spent so much time and energy in trying to find a match that once they do they make bad judgements calls in regard to how to handle the relationship.
The best thing to do is lots of communication. However if that does not work run fast. Some people do have attactment issues.
1) should consider themselves Poly. meaning they want a meaningful relationship with others.
or
2) they have spent so much time and energy in trying to find a match that once they do they make bad judgements calls in regard to how to handle the relationship.
The best thing to do is lots of communication. However if that does not work run fast. Some people do have attactment issues.
they should have taken their own advice and not got hooked up on ya
Wouldn't the world be a far simpler place if we could all just be in it for the sex? hehh
It hasn't happened to us - we actually have had limited experience thus far anyways - but we both recognize that it ~is~ a possibility (that some people might unexpectedly develop feelings for others in the group). Kinda a natural progression, I guess, when you're conditioned to believe that 'making love' is a very special (and emotional) experience from your very first days of sexual awareness.
That being said, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have happen. But then again, I'm totally and completely in love with my wife, and feel absolutely certain that she is with me. Whatever pleasures she derives from other men (or women) we meet is totally fine with me, because in my mind it could never interfere with what she and I have spent years and years developing. I have way too much of a head start hehh.
I'm a person who believes that one (other) person shouldn't be the one who gives you 100% of your joy to you. It's quite a nice change of pace to get 96% of your satisfaction (emotional and physical) from one person, and the remaining 4% from one or two others.
However, we are truly in this for the physical side only - whatever develops emotionally would have to happen over a period of time with others, and in that situation you're pretty much 'in a relationship' with these other people anyways, right?
Just my few pennies
)
It hasn't happened to us - we actually have had limited experience thus far anyways - but we both recognize that it ~is~ a possibility (that some people might unexpectedly develop feelings for others in the group). Kinda a natural progression, I guess, when you're conditioned to believe that 'making love' is a very special (and emotional) experience from your very first days of sexual awareness.
That being said, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have happen. But then again, I'm totally and completely in love with my wife, and feel absolutely certain that she is with me. Whatever pleasures she derives from other men (or women) we meet is totally fine with me, because in my mind it could never interfere with what she and I have spent years and years developing. I have way too much of a head start hehh.
I'm a person who believes that one (other) person shouldn't be the one who gives you 100% of your joy to you. It's quite a nice change of pace to get 96% of your satisfaction (emotional and physical) from one person, and the remaining 4% from one or two others.
However, we are truly in this for the physical side only - whatever develops emotionally would have to happen over a period of time with others, and in that situation you're pretty much 'in a relationship' with these other people anyways, right?
Just my few pennies
)most of our problems have been with single females... but we had a our share odd couples out there...that mostly happens when the couple in question has issues they have not worked out between themselves... also, there is the asshole facter, anyone can be one, married or single... we try to meet people based on as much of regular living and commen interest, and facter sex appeal to a min if we can help it, yes for swinging to work there has to an attraction, but for it to be fun, all need to be able to enjoy the company... i think that is how we feel about it for now, i am sure we will change our minds tomarrow...lol
RICHSERENA wrote:
Wouldn't the world be a far simpler place if we could all just be in it for the sex? hehh
It hasn't happened to us - we actually have had limited experience thus far anyways - but we both recognize that it ~is~ a possibility (that some people might unexpectedly develop feelings for others in the group). Kinda a natural progression, I guess, when you're conditioned to believe that 'making love' is a very special (and emotional) experience from your very first days of sexual awareness.
That being said, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have happen. But then again, I'm totally and completely in love with my wife, and feel absolutely certain that she is with me. Whatever pleasures she derives from other men (or women) we meet is totally fine with me, because in my mind it could never interfere with what she and I have spent years and years developing. I have way too much of a head start hehh.
I'm a person who believes that one (other) person shouldn't be the one who gives you 100% of your joy to you. It's quite a nice change of pace to get 96% of your satisfaction (emotional and physical) from one person, and the remaining 4% from one or two others.
However, we are truly in this for the physical side only - whatever develops emotionally would have to happen over a period of time with others, and in that situation you're pretty much 'in a relationship' with these other people anyways, right?
Just my few pennies
Totally 2nd this people get way to picky in what they want out of the Lifestyle.
I will try to make this as brief as possible. We were completely new to swinging and trying to move slowly and figure out our boundaries. We met a couple on here who go to quite a few of the events. We went four or five times for drinks/dinner. They were very respectful of our slow progression...or seemed to be. Spontaneously after dinner one night, we decided to do same room and some kissing with them. We had a great time, no regrets.
We planned an actual future play date. We went to dinner and a show. We didn't have a lot to drink. My husband had only two Utah beers at dinner and I had two Utah Margaritas. We went back to the hotel room where we each had a shot and then we made the mistake of trusting the other husband to make our drinks. My husband was handed a cocktail in a highball glass. It was a mix of Dr. Pepper and 99 Cherries. He finished his. I hate Dr. Pepper and only had two sips from mine. The rules were the same for this date night...some kissing, no swapping, and taking it slow. After the drink, we got started and although we were going at it for 2 hours, my husband completely lost time and can'r remember a lot of details during most of the evening. I had periods of fogginess. My husband is a tall and big. I am not petite. The amount of alcohol that we had to drink could not explain any of the symptoms we had. I spent a lot of the night in a weird fog but conscious of what was going on and making sure that I was keeping boundaries with the other husband. He was quite aggressive in his desires and was pushing boundaries constantly. My husband can't remember much of anything. We were in the same room the entire time and I remember things that he has no recollection of. We believe 100% that we were given something in our drinks. I just happened to get lucky enough to hate what he was mixing.
If anyone has ever experienced being drugged like this, they know what I am saying. Although I was aware and could try to keep all those boundaries, I felt very much not in control. My husband is much worse. For being a man who feels like he can handle most situations, he was unable to even be mentally present. I believe this was done because they knew our boundaries were firm and they wanted more. They kept telling us that they wanted more and if we only changed our minds......
Be aware out there. The people you party with and think you know....you may not really know. It makes you feel helpless to think you trusted someone (naive on our part), and we were betrayed. I know...sounds stupid...we're in this to experiment and have sex...but our decision making in that department was taken from us.
We planned an actual future play date. We went to dinner and a show. We didn't have a lot to drink. My husband had only two Utah beers at dinner and I had two Utah Margaritas. We went back to the hotel room where we each had a shot and then we made the mistake of trusting the other husband to make our drinks. My husband was handed a cocktail in a highball glass. It was a mix of Dr. Pepper and 99 Cherries. He finished his. I hate Dr. Pepper and only had two sips from mine. The rules were the same for this date night...some kissing, no swapping, and taking it slow. After the drink, we got started and although we were going at it for 2 hours, my husband completely lost time and can'r remember a lot of details during most of the evening. I had periods of fogginess. My husband is a tall and big. I am not petite. The amount of alcohol that we had to drink could not explain any of the symptoms we had. I spent a lot of the night in a weird fog but conscious of what was going on and making sure that I was keeping boundaries with the other husband. He was quite aggressive in his desires and was pushing boundaries constantly. My husband can't remember much of anything. We were in the same room the entire time and I remember things that he has no recollection of. We believe 100% that we were given something in our drinks. I just happened to get lucky enough to hate what he was mixing.
If anyone has ever experienced being drugged like this, they know what I am saying. Although I was aware and could try to keep all those boundaries, I felt very much not in control. My husband is much worse. For being a man who feels like he can handle most situations, he was unable to even be mentally present. I believe this was done because they knew our boundaries were firm and they wanted more. They kept telling us that they wanted more and if we only changed our minds......
Be aware out there. The people you party with and think you know....you may not really know. It makes you feel helpless to think you trusted someone (naive on our part), and we were betrayed. I know...sounds stupid...we're in this to experiment and have sex...but our decision making in that department was taken from us.
SUPPOSE2BEFUN, that is awful. You don't mention whether you went to the cops so I assume you didn't; that choice was entirely yours and whichever you made was the right one for you.
For those who don't know, race from date rape drugs can break down very quickly in your body, so if you're going to go to the cops it needs to be as soon as you are physically able.
If Bill Cosby is a huge example of anything, it's that people who drug and exploit others do it for as long as they can; I doubt you were the first or last victims of this couple.
For those who don't know, race from date rape drugs can break down very quickly in your body, so if you're going to go to the cops it needs to be as soon as you are physically able.
If Bill Cosby is a huge example of anything, it's that people who drug and exploit others do it for as long as they can; I doubt you were the first or last victims of this couple.
This seems to be happening with more and more frequency. WTF is wrong with people? I guess if you're a giant turd sandwich then drugging someone is the only way in hell you'll ever get laid. This is a spectacular argument for getting to know people...getting to know them WELL, before even thinking about getting in bed with them, or accepting a drink apparently. 
Oh, and sorry to spoil your Swingular main page Yahtzee, CHEFFETTE.
Oh, and sorry to spoil your Swingular main page Yahtzee, CHEFFETTE.