As a openly sexual single female, who as I have heard is one of the few women on here open to meeting most single males, I have run across some very surprising behavior that I felt I needed to comment on today. Since joining Swingular a few years ago at the urging of another single female on this site, I have always shared my love of the single man and the wonderfully respectful behavior I have received in comparison to the rude demanding men of "vanilla" dating sites. This week though, I was shocked by the ungracious comments of two single men. I am not going to crucify them on this public venue, but I would like to state my personal online dating rules and hear what other single women on here have to say about their experiences.
1. I have to meet you before I agree to anything. I am certainly not attracted to every man and do not expect every man (or couple) to be attracted to me. I will always schedule a coffee or a evening drink meeting in a public setting to start out our friendship. Do not expect it to be a sex hookup, although it might turn into one if we connect, but DO NOT EXPECT IT.
2. I will not send you naked pussy shots if I have not met you and decided that I want to sleep with you. The few times I have done this, I have regretted doing so and I will not do it again.
3. If you stand me up for a scheduled date, we are done. Isn't it just plain common courtesy to call or text or email me if you can't make it or you just change your mind? If I save time in my busy schedule for you, the least you can do is show me respect and let me know you will not be making it. I have a lot of men trying to meet me and I am doing the best I can to fit those in that I want to meet or spend time with. I cannot keep rescheduling around your schedule if you do not show your true intent to meet me, especially if I want to go to the gym after work or spend time with friends. And if you are running late and I decide to wait for you, as happened this very morning, do not get upset with me because you made me wait an hour for you and I am now not at your beck and call for the rest of the day. We can reschedule to spend more time if we feel attraction in the few minutes we do have to meet.
4. Please send a face picture with an introduction email before asking to be my friend. Especially if you say very little on your profile about who you are, I want to see your face, learn what you are all about and what you are looking for from me by writing. I do not bloke single males and really do want to play with those of you who I connect with, but I am a real woman and I have feelings, likes and dislikes, preferences and desires. It is not brain science, if you are nice to me, I am nice to you. If you turn me on, I purr... and so will you.
1. I have to meet you before I agree to anything. I am certainly not attracted to every man and do not expect every man (or couple) to be attracted to me. I will always schedule a coffee or a evening drink meeting in a public setting to start out our friendship. Do not expect it to be a sex hookup, although it might turn into one if we connect, but DO NOT EXPECT IT.
2. I will not send you naked pussy shots if I have not met you and decided that I want to sleep with you. The few times I have done this, I have regretted doing so and I will not do it again.
3. If you stand me up for a scheduled date, we are done. Isn't it just plain common courtesy to call or text or email me if you can't make it or you just change your mind? If I save time in my busy schedule for you, the least you can do is show me respect and let me know you will not be making it. I have a lot of men trying to meet me and I am doing the best I can to fit those in that I want to meet or spend time with. I cannot keep rescheduling around your schedule if you do not show your true intent to meet me, especially if I want to go to the gym after work or spend time with friends. And if you are running late and I decide to wait for you, as happened this very morning, do not get upset with me because you made me wait an hour for you and I am now not at your beck and call for the rest of the day. We can reschedule to spend more time if we feel attraction in the few minutes we do have to meet.
4. Please send a face picture with an introduction email before asking to be my friend. Especially if you say very little on your profile about who you are, I want to see your face, learn what you are all about and what you are looking for from me by writing. I do not bloke single males and really do want to play with those of you who I connect with, but I am a real woman and I have feelings, likes and dislikes, preferences and desires. It is not brain science, if you are nice to me, I am nice to you. If you turn me on, I purr... and so will you.
(M) Looks to me like your a single woman that just might last in this fish tank.You have no sign of weakness and don't come off as a B ad girl if you know what I mean. But don't give out to many details some need to be discovered.
You go girl! You are 100% on with all of what you wrote. The last point can be said for everyone though, single or attached. I get tons of friend requests and nothing else. I'm not here to collect friends to see how many I can find.
I am new to this site and I have been taking it very slow for multiple reasons. My reluctance to jump into bed with someone has irritated more than one person. I'm not talking about dragging communications on for weeks and being an illusive tease, I mean saying right off that I would not be able to meet for a week or more (this was during the holidays). I am single and I am a mother of three, time and location can be difficult!
Ineedmore you aren't the only single fish in the pond, email me if you ever want to chat or need to vent to someone who is going through the same thing!
H.
I am new to this site and I have been taking it very slow for multiple reasons. My reluctance to jump into bed with someone has irritated more than one person. I'm not talking about dragging communications on for weeks and being an illusive tease, I mean saying right off that I would not be able to meet for a week or more (this was during the holidays). I am single and I am a mother of three, time and location can be difficult!
Ineedmore you aren't the only single fish in the pond, email me if you ever want to chat or need to vent to someone who is going through the same thing!
H.
You totally get it!!!!!!!
I am like you...schedule to meet someone and they flake out ...just is rude...
As for hopping into bed at first sight......this may happen on Mars...but not so much here....real people have real lives.....
I have met some wonderful women on Swingular.....but some not so wonderful as well.....
But I still try to be the nice guy I am......
I am like you...schedule to meet someone and they flake out ...just is rude...
As for hopping into bed at first sight......this may happen on Mars...but not so much here....real people have real lives.....
I have met some wonderful women on Swingular.....but some not so wonderful as well.....
But I still try to be the nice guy I am......
Nice guy always seem to finish last, be that will not change who I am, and a real man should always be respectful and nice to a women no matter what has happened. It doesnt meen you have to like her but you should always be nice. chivalry seems to be fading away in this country. You make plans keep them, you cant keep them you give plenty of notice so they can change their plans, shit hapends but it seems to be all the time.
Guys, seriously, don't even rely on pics or profile pics. I've run into so many people with pics from 7 or 8 years ago, from people catfishing me. It happens a lot. Seriously, you want to see what they actually look like, make sure you see them on a cam.
Ineedmore there is or should be a #5. If you are married and put single as your status I hope your wife is available to confirm your hall pass or open relationship status.
As a single gal I'm tired of being treated like I'm a dumb slut by married playing single guys. I'm neither. My time is valuable, my bs detector is fully functional and unless you're a professional poker player most people are just not that good at lying.
As a single gal I'm tired of being treated like I'm a dumb slut by married playing single guys. I'm neither. My time is valuable, my bs detector is fully functional and unless you're a professional poker player most people are just not that good at lying.
Ineedmore there is or should be a #5. If you are married and put single as your status I hope your wife is available to confirm your hall pass or open relationship status.
As a single gal I'm tired of being treated like I'm a dumb slut by married playing single guys. I'm neither. My time is valuable, my bs detector is fully functional and unless you're a professional poker player most people are just not that good at lying.
As a single gal I'm tired of being treated like I'm a dumb slut by married playing single guys. I'm neither. My time is valuable, my bs detector is fully functional and unless you're a professional poker player most people are just not that good at lying.
i think this can go with almost any profile on here not just single men.! ! it is not about being picky it is about respect and others respecting you.
As for reading profiles more people need to read more than just the first line lol! Good luck!
As for reading profiles more people need to read more than just the first line lol! Good luck!
While I appreciate this site as an opportunity to express one's orientation or expectation, it should not however be a chat room for bashing or humiliation. I think you should certainly report the offenders to the administrator.
In my opinion this is a site where free expression is expected and should be protected.
I am here to express my desires without ridicule or harmful acts and would pray for those who disrespect.
In my opinion this is a site where free expression is expected and should be protected.
I am here to express my desires without ridicule or harmful acts and would pray for those who disrespect.
INEEDMORE is completely on what I have been going through. It's frustrating and makes it feel like why take the time to schedule anymore times when you keep getting stood up.
Kudos to you INEEDMORE for putting it plain and simple. The amount of friend requests by someone without even a hello is staggering. Probably as being therapeutic I reply to all of these requests and state exactly why that will not happen. My location makes vacationing couples and males for many of these. With no pictures on their profile or private pictures in a hope of a face picture they expect a friend request after stating when they will be in town and we can meet and have sex.
We can relate to some of what you have said with singles and couples, courtesy and respect is huge we have family and personal stuff and you add work and all the other things of life in, we don't get as much time as we would like to meet people or play. And when we do and we get stood up or lied to about looks or whetever were done. We used to have the base ball rule three strikes your out! But now we have learned if you burn us once it hurts so we won't get burned again, well at least by the same person. That being said we would love to be friends with more single women to have come to our monthly parties and meet the other couples and singles that we have over. Good luck to all out there and hope YOU find what YOUR looking for!!!
we've addressed single and couples. Normally give us the cold shoulder after getting the dinner date set up for a m-n-g. Since the singles and couples are normally only looking for a 1 night or just the wife. So in 10 years we've only had 2 stick around long enough to help fulfilling our fantasy's to the fullest. We have found that Most singles & couples have to bounce between couples or other singles instead of fulfilling 1 or 5 of our fantasy list.
Fulfilling fantasy's has to do with Trust, Respect, Honesty & some time commitment.
Our last attempt to get a single male to help out lead to sorry can't get hard less I go bare back. Well Bare back is time, respect, honesty 1st.
Now we get blind friends request where 90% sit on the friends request page. We send out a few hellos to some single males that the wife like the looks of and nothing come back in return so. we've done friend things with couples and all it does is sit there and look at each others pic since the wife isn't into girls.
So its a 2 way street of complaints singles Vs. couples or couples complaining about singles and singles complaining about singles so hang in there just maybe you will find the best single or couple to help you fulfill your fantasy's.
Fulfilling fantasy's has to do with Trust, Respect, Honesty & some time commitment.
Our last attempt to get a single male to help out lead to sorry can't get hard less I go bare back. Well Bare back is time, respect, honesty 1st.
Now we get blind friends request where 90% sit on the friends request page. We send out a few hellos to some single males that the wife like the looks of and nothing come back in return so. we've done friend things with couples and all it does is sit there and look at each others pic since the wife isn't into girls.
So its a 2 way street of complaints singles Vs. couples or couples complaining about singles and singles complaining about singles so hang in there just maybe you will find the best single or couple to help you fulfill your fantasy's.
I am not sure why you would "Blah blah blah" this BIKE_CPL4FUN, This is an actual item that some of the single guys seem to be completely missing. The single women and several of the couples on this site I chat with regularly have had to deal with several different men on the site that seem to keep missing this point. I have the same rules myself with meeting women and couples from here and every site I am on. It is because it is not just men that can be predators, and it has saved my ass on multiple occasions.
This is really something that All people on All sites should use as their common rule of engagement to meet new people. Especially guys.
This is really something that All people on All sites should use as their common rule of engagement to meet new people. Especially guys.
EVILDOERS wrote:
Rarely has a Kirk gif been so perfectly deployed.
This sums up the OP imo.
RUSTIEZ wrote:
This sums up the OP imo.
Hear Hear. And more Deployment of the Kirk!
SEXED103 wrote:
EVILDOERS... LOL, Now to clean up the coffee I spit on my screen from laughing =ox
I have done so on several of Evildoers posts myself.
we herd another site got shut down and a lot of the ones from that site came here not saying that is bad because we always love meeting new couples no matter where they are from however we would agree since this has happened the environment has changed I the male half have nothing against bi men however I can say in the last week I have been hit up several times requesting to meet male male only and we have come across several claiming couples that are only male half either saying have hall pass or she is constantly never around if it really is that way we feel for you but sure does seem like alott of fakes lately. also as far as she is concerned "who is sitting right here" she would like the males to just consider if talking to us respect goes a long ways and will get you alott further she says the first thing you say to her is what you are going to do to her doesn't turn her on conversations go places and might lead to that point but first she would like a conversation.
It's common sense... we all know how we should speak and interact with people we don't know. It doesn't matter if there is a potential for sex or not... people are not objects for fucking... Treat people with respect and you get the same in return. Even if you want to fuck someone, being a neanderthal is not the way to go about doing it...
STANSBURYCPL wrote:
OK single peoples I could use some advise. My ex and I divorced 3 months ago. We were active swingers and that did not have anything to do with the divorce. We are still best friends and hang out all the time just live separate places and are following our different paths in life which was one of the things that led us to our divorce. Now upon divorce we talked about our Swingular profile and swinging in general. We love it and want to continue to attend parties together and be each others "wingman" per say. I have clearly outlined this on our profile in our description. Now to where I need advise. Now as a single man I would like to also find a single lady to have some fun with as well. I messaged and emailed and well to say the least the majority think I'm lying and trying to cheat, or wont talk with me because I do not have a profile picture. I explain that I cant post a public picture as it could cost me my job if the wrong person were to see it, but I'm happy to email one if requested.
Now several months later I have not received one invite, one friend request, its radio silence. I would like to change this but I don't know how. Its led me to feelings of maybe I'm just not attractive enough sob story sob story bla no one wants to hear that crap, but I'm super frustrated.
Any advise would be welcome.
Thanks in advance.
Aaron
This might sound simplistic, but I have been approached by government agents, school principals, Fortune 500 CEO's and CFO's that are unable to provide a face picture but will email one as you mentioned. Why can't you put your face picture in your private pictures. The only people that would see it is the ones you granted access to? I am given some reasons for this from them, but most stem because of government conspiracy theories. Hoping that is not you. If you can be fooled granting access you can also be fooled sending your picture by email. I don't want to give out my email to single men or newly single men with or with out a wing woman. Assuming you are verified and I haven't checked that, but this would also insure the person you are communicating with that the picture is indeed you.
Just a thought.
I agree 100%, but with the more detailed profile single guys profiles being short and lame, at the same time that's how we men are as you women are alot more detailed and perfectionist when comes to talking about yourself. We're from Mars, you're from venus. Anywho, I'm drunk and just got home so I'm gonna zip it now and possibly read what I wrote tomorrow. GOOD NIGHT YOU SEXY MOTHER fuckers 
I totally agree with everything that INEEDMORE said in her original post. Those are perfectly reasonable rules that I myself share. I think one really good thing about females being in such high demand on here is that they can set high expectations and be picky about who they meet. There are always plenty of guys out there for them to choose from. So if they request pics and to meet face to face and not send naked photos, etc. That is absolutely their right and if a guy cannot respect that, then she can ignore him and move on to the next one in line. So, well said INEEDMORE. And to all the people out there (not just single guys) let's all be safe and courteous and make this a fun and positive experience. Asking for basic things like INEEDMORE has listed in here is perfectly reasonable and indeed very smart. I for one applaud it and wish everyone were as upfront and straightforward about their rules and expectations.
I agree wholeheartedly with INEEDMORE. To me, it seems like common sense and courtesy. Which leads me to believe some people lack such.
My pet peeve is dick pics. When I meet a person, I look at their face. When I have sex with a man, I still cannot see his penis (I'm just not that flexible
). I don't choose a sexual partner based on the appearance of his equipment. Therefore, dick pics are unwanted. My 2
My pet peeve is dick pics. When I meet a person, I look at their face. When I have sex with a man, I still cannot see his penis (I'm just not that flexible
). I don't choose a sexual partner based on the appearance of his equipment. Therefore, dick pics are unwanted. My 2I have been on this site for few YEARS AND SEEMS Nice guy always finish last, It doesnt meen you have to like her but you should always be nice. I BELIVE chivalry is DEAD. I am certainly not attracted to every women and do not expect every women too be attracted to me I have too have a connection to be attracted to you. I like to go to coffee or a evening meeting in a public setting to start out our friendship.
[quote=TREETREE]I agree wholeheartedly with INEEDMORE. To me, it seems like common sense and courtesy. Which leads me to believe some people lack such.
My pet peeve is dick pics. When I meet a person, I look at their face. When I have sex with a man, I still cannot see his penis (I'm just not that flexible ). I don't choose a sexual partner based on the appearance of his equipment. Therefore, dick pics are unwanted. My 2
My pet peeve is dick pics. When I meet a person, I look at their face. When I have sex with a man, I still cannot see his penis (I'm just not that flexible
). I don't choose a sexual partner based on the appearance of his equipment. Therefore, dick pics are unwanted. My 2[quote=TREETREE]I agree wholeheartedly with INEEDMORE. To me, it seems like common sense and courtesy. Which leads me to believe some people lack such.
My pet peeve is dick pics. When I meet a person, I look at their face. When I have sex with a man, I still cannot see his penis (I'm just not that flexible ). I don't choose a sexual partner based on the appearance of his equipment. Therefore, dick pics are unwanted. My 2
My pet peeve is dick pics. When I meet a person, I look at their face. When I have sex with a man, I still cannot see his penis (I'm just not that flexible
). I don't choose a sexual partner based on the appearance of his equipment. Therefore, dick pics are unwanted. My 2FITNERD wrote:
I understand your desire to do just that and appreciate your restraint.
As a usually dreaded single male on this site who now is a permanent lifetime member, I first want to mention I am a close personal friend of the very first commenter on this thread......UTAHCOUPLE4PLAY. I am confident that she has known me long enough to agree that I am NOTHING like what the stereotype of a single male swinger has become due to the duds that I am constantly hearing about. I cant say that I am the perfect choice if anyone might be seeking the company of a single male swinger, but when it comes to friendship, being good company and not being ANYTHING like the stereotype, I am confidently one of the rare ones who has studied the nature of the lifestyle for many many years as it is so arousing and what I want to experience in my life. I'm NOT here to fuck anybody's wife. I would never have the balls to say such disrespectful comments that I constantly hear some douchebags post on this site and AFF. I am MUCH more interested in becoming special close friends with couples and single women with ZERO expectations in hopes that if and when the Cupid of Swingular decides I have waited long enough and somehow an erotic encounter becomes a surprise special event when I least expect it, that is exactly the way I hope it would be. I just want to shout out to all the couples and females who might be often or just occasionally seeking the company of a single male, to please try and not be so instantly suspicious when I am online or if I send you an introductory message because THIS SINGLE MALE is a great friend and will never make you feel pressured or awkward under ANY circumstances (right T?) THANK YOU!!!!!
AFRIENDOFAFRIEND wrote:When it comes to believable recommendations UTAHCOUPLE4PLAY putting a positive comment on your profile goes further than anything you write.
As a usually dreaded single male on this site who now is a permanent lifetime member, I first want to mention I am a close personal friend of the very first commenter on this thread......UTAHCOUPLE4PLAY. I am confident that she has known me long enough to agree that I am NOTHING like what the stereotype of a single male swinger has become due to the duds that I am constantly hearing about. I cant say that I am the perfect choice if anyone might be seeking the company of a single male swinger, but when it comes to friendship, being good company and not being ANYTHING like the stereotype, I am confidently one of the rare ones who has studied the nature of the lifestyle for many many years as it is so arousing and what I want to experience in my life. I'm NOT here to fuck anybody's wife. I would never have the balls to say such disrespectful comments that I constantly hear some douchebags post on this site and AFF. I am MUCH more interested in becoming special close friends with couples and single women with ZERO expectations in hopes that if and when the Cupid of Swingular decides I have waited long enough and somehow an erotic encounter becomes a surprise special event when I least expect it, that is exactly the way I hope it would be. I just want to shout out to all the couples and females who might be often or just occasionally seeking the company of a single male, to please try and not be so instantly suspicious when I am online or if I send you an introductory message because THIS SINGLE MALE is a great friend and will never make you feel pressured or awkward under ANY circumstances (right T?) THANK YOU!!!!!
Ops
This sometime is hard being a single/Unicorn, I have reported someone who just doesnt get it and since I replyed once to him I cant block him. And when I dont respond to his emails and IM's he doesnt still get it, that he's gotten Stalke-ish, Every time I log in he's quick to IM me, Dude IM NOT INTERESTED. I almost hate friending Single guys for this reason anymore. I enjoy this life style and I will continue to be on here But all it takes is ONE BAD APPLE to ruin it for all single guys for me.. But I know NOT ALL SINGLE guys are like this bad one..
ONEHOTMESS wrote:On the website you can block people regardless; go to their profile, click on the hand w/ the plus sign on its side, you should see a minus sign appear. That's blocked. How can he IM you, unless you haven't deleted him from your Friends list?
This sometime is hard being a single/Unicorn, I have reported someone who just doesnt get it and since I replyed once to him I cant block him. And when I dont respond to his emails and IM's he doesnt still get it, that he's gotten Stalke-ish, Every time I log in he's quick to IM me, Dude IM NOT INTERESTED. I almost hate friending Single guys for this reason anymore. I enjoy this life style and I will continue to be on here But all it takes is ONE BAD APPLE to ruin it for all single guys for me.. But I know NOT ALL SINGLE guys are like this bad one..
EVILDOERS wrote:
(Slow, dramatic applause)