My wife has fantasized about doing a three-some or soft swap for a while now, but for various reasons hasn't wanted to actually do it yet. We are traveling in a couple of months to Hawaii and she is considering trying it out then. One big must for her is that we don't do it with anyone that either of us could build a relationship with since we have such a good marriage and don't want to create any problems with one of us building an emotional relationship elsewhere. Therefore, doing it away from home is extra appealing to her.
Is there a way to let people in a specific location know we'll be there and available other than a booty call or individually emailing those that show up in a zip code search? Is one better than the other? Any thoughts or advice? Thanks
Is there a way to let people in a specific location know we'll be there and available other than a booty call or individually emailing those that show up in a zip code search? Is one better than the other? Any thoughts or advice? Thanks
She's not worried about hurt feelings as much as her or I starting to develop a relationship with someone or getting to know someone well enough that you want to be with that person more than your spouse, even if the other partner doesn't even know. That way, if it is a one time thing, less likely to develop that relationship.
How does craiglist work, never thought of that. Just post in the personals what we're looking for?
Thanks, you guys rock BTW!
How does craiglist work, never thought of that. Just post in the personals what we're looking for?
Thanks, you guys rock BTW!
Your comments make me wonder if you should be in this lifestyle at all. Controlling how close you get to someone is part of the territory. You solve that like any other problem by talking and making decisions togheter.
One time threesomes are as often a flop as they are a thumbs up encounter. A lot depends on what you are looking for along that line. If you have never had one you may not even know exactly what you are looking for. The two of you need to sit down and discuss what you want to have happen. For some it is just the size of the dick while the opposite end of the spectrum is some skill and the two of you working together to give her an earth shaking experience.
But, unless you are a minute man and pretty lousy in giving her what she needs in the bedroom I would not worry too much about it. But that is just me. If you are a stingy tight wad, or abuse her, or just a general putts and the two of you are always fighting then you might have a lot to fear.
Swingers do get divorced but stats will show that there is just as much danger from someone in your neighborhood that you do not know about than there is from a swinging with a couple that you know. In general you will find that relationships in and out of this lifestyle are a funny and complex thing. There is no such thing as a typical relationship. In general, although someone might give up a bad marriage for a relationship with someone else that is a better spouse. it is rare that someone gives up a good marriage just for someone else that is just better in bed.
One time threesomes are as often a flop as they are a thumbs up encounter. A lot depends on what you are looking for along that line. If you have never had one you may not even know exactly what you are looking for. The two of you need to sit down and discuss what you want to have happen. For some it is just the size of the dick while the opposite end of the spectrum is some skill and the two of you working together to give her an earth shaking experience.
But, unless you are a minute man and pretty lousy in giving her what she needs in the bedroom I would not worry too much about it. But that is just me. If you are a stingy tight wad, or abuse her, or just a general putts and the two of you are always fighting then you might have a lot to fear.
Swingers do get divorced but stats will show that there is just as much danger from someone in your neighborhood that you do not know about than there is from a swinging with a couple that you know. In general you will find that relationships in and out of this lifestyle are a funny and complex thing. There is no such thing as a typical relationship. In general, although someone might give up a bad marriage for a relationship with someone else that is a better spouse. it is rare that someone gives up a good marriage just for someone else that is just better in bed.
I completely understand how she feels. And just for what it's worth, you two are at an age where a lot of couples head for divorce court anyway. There's no sense in driving in that direction if you don't have to. So, in my opinion, if you communicate really well, and are just looking for a little bedroom spice once in a while, going where you're unlikely to build a relationship isn't a bad idea. There are bunches of swinger sites all over the country. I'd suggest looking up a few swingers clubs in the area you want to visit and ask them what the predominant swing sites are in their area.
Once you get comfortable with the lifestyle, and feel like the risk is less, doing it closer to home is fun, and more convenient.
Mr. Sexperimentors
Once you get comfortable with the lifestyle, and feel like the risk is less, doing it closer to home is fun, and more convenient.
Mr. Sexperimentors