So...having just recently turned 93 years of age, I have a few questions.
1. I enjoy the meet and greets but thinking it is going to be more and more difficult to find a "parking" spot for my walker when I'm out "break" dancing.
2. Are swingers really kind enough to help me up off the dance floor after I "break" something, and get tired of "peeking up skirts?"
3. What are the chances of a pretty girl actually getting close enough to me to allow such a peek?
And, finally...
4. Is there ANY real chance I'm still gonna get any "action" here? I have lots of popcycle sticks and rubber bands..so that isn't an issue. I have a hot 42 year old wife to reward anyone that helps....
Ahhh..so many concerns...and questions. Maybe it's just time to "hang up the spats" and stick with the nurses in the ER for the extra curricular stuff....
~Mr TiffnD~
1. I enjoy the meet and greets but thinking it is going to be more and more difficult to find a "parking" spot for my walker when I'm out "break" dancing.
2. Are swingers really kind enough to help me up off the dance floor after I "break" something, and get tired of "peeking up skirts?"
3. What are the chances of a pretty girl actually getting close enough to me to allow such a peek?
And, finally...
4. Is there ANY real chance I'm still gonna get any "action" here? I have lots of popcycle sticks and rubber bands..so that isn't an issue. I have a hot 42 year old wife to reward anyone that helps....
Ahhh..so many concerns...and questions. Maybe it's just time to "hang up the spats" and stick with the nurses in the ER for the extra curricular stuff....
~Mr TiffnD~
Hmmmm good questions. Unfortunately no easy answers. I recently ran into a grad student whose thesis postulates a complex mathematical formula that factors in age, man boob to beer belly ratio, average flatulent episodes per hour and amount of time watching Fox News and yelling at the television set to determine when you should hang up your swinging spurs and concentrate on honing your napping in the
La-Z-Boy skills.
La-Z-Boy skills.
To answer your (very difficult) questions:
1 - This is an asset, not a problem. Now that you require the use of a walker, when dancing you'll NEED to have two women with you at all times in order to support you while dancing. Having a third Kneeling in front of you acting as a tripod to, stabilize other, ummm, appendages, may be required as well.
2 - NO, they are NOT kind enough. As an example, THIS particular swinger will likely just mount you, totally abusing your prone and helpless body, then leave you in a heap on the dance floor. I hate to be the one to inform you of this, but rigorous honesty is important to me.
3 - Again, NONE. unless you're severely near-sighted. It seems it would be very difficult to "Peek" at something that is actually sitting on your face. Sorry to, once again, be the bearer of bad news.
4. This one is more difficult. For one thing? Those popcycle sticks and rubber bands? Your gonna need those for a wiener-splint after #1 & #2 up above occur. Hang onto 'em, you won't regret it.
BTW, Don't worry about that hot 42 year old wife. While you're "injured," prone on the floor, I've a sneaking suspicion that the male swingular "members" here will be doing their best to console her. Poor dear!
1 - This is an asset, not a problem. Now that you require the use of a walker, when dancing you'll NEED to have two women with you at all times in order to support you while dancing. Having a third Kneeling in front of you acting as a tripod to, stabilize other, ummm, appendages, may be required as well.
2 - NO, they are NOT kind enough. As an example, THIS particular swinger will likely just mount you, totally abusing your prone and helpless body, then leave you in a heap on the dance floor. I hate to be the one to inform you of this, but rigorous honesty is important to me.
3 - Again, NONE. unless you're severely near-sighted. It seems it would be very difficult to "Peek" at something that is actually sitting on your face. Sorry to, once again, be the bearer of bad news.
4. This one is more difficult. For one thing? Those popcycle sticks and rubber bands? Your gonna need those for a wiener-splint after #1 & #2 up above occur. Hang onto 'em, you won't regret it.
BTW, Don't worry about that hot 42 year old wife. While you're "injured," prone on the floor, I've a sneaking suspicion that the male swingular "members" here will be doing their best to console her. Poor dear!
SCOTT84067 wrote:
Nothing better to make Monday more tolerable than some great humor. I have met TIFFND at a few parties and if I were a pretty girl I would allow a peek if your hot wife would reward me.....B-)
Hmmmm..Thanks for the kind words about Mrs TiffnD..I'll pass them on...as for the peek.....appreciate the offer..but had something a little different in mind..sorry! LOL
Good Points Mr Evil! I would be interested in how that formula works out for me. Both my man boobs and beer belly have been shrinking lately...not sure if they are maintaining the proper ratio, tho...damn..one more thing to worry about.
As for flatulance..I will have to admit that is working perfectly! Yessirrie "clean as a squawking clarinet" here...
Gave up yelling at "Faux" news a long time ago..bad for my hypertension....Actually do use that time to hone my Lazy Boy nap skills!
Ahhh..Mrs Pals! Knew I could count on you for good advice! Glad you could "weigh" in...hope it's not too much tho..my nose is a little battered already as a result of the brown nosing efforts at work. Cheap bastards still didn't give me a Christmas bonus! But I digress....
I LIKE the walker idea! Do you think I could really make something like that happen?? Has there ever been a book written on "Safe Walker Sex?" Hmmm...
As for "mounting me"...I sincerely hope you are not talking about alongside the deer and ferret heads on the wall! I'll keep my rubber bands and popcycle sticks handy..just in case! Oh..and by the way? I found a really "slick" plastic popsicle stick! That sliver thing was tough on a weiner...
And..again for the "weighing in"....Just remind me to take my glasses off....could ya? Last time the were bent around my ears so bad I couldn't hear any ones moaning but my own.
And you are right...my hottie wife seems to manage things JUST fine...hehehe As long as she remebers to take me home..I'm good!
As for flatulance..I will have to admit that is working perfectly! Yessirrie "clean as a squawking clarinet" here...
Gave up yelling at "Faux" news a long time ago..bad for my hypertension....Actually do use that time to hone my Lazy Boy nap skills!
Ahhh..Mrs Pals! Knew I could count on you for good advice! Glad you could "weigh" in...hope it's not too much tho..my nose is a little battered already as a result of the brown nosing efforts at work. Cheap bastards still didn't give me a Christmas bonus! But I digress....
I LIKE the walker idea! Do you think I could really make something like that happen?? Has there ever been a book written on "Safe Walker Sex?" Hmmm...
As for "mounting me"...I sincerely hope you are not talking about alongside the deer and ferret heads on the wall! I'll keep my rubber bands and popcycle sticks handy..just in case! Oh..and by the way? I found a really "slick" plastic popsicle stick! That sliver thing was tough on a weiner...
And..again for the "weighing in"....Just remind me to take my glasses off....could ya? Last time the were bent around my ears so bad I couldn't hear any ones moaning but my own.
And you are right...my hottie wife seems to manage things JUST fine...hehehe As long as she remebers to take me home..I'm good!
SIREROS wrote:
Great questions!
I have found in my own person quest that by using the popsicle sticks and rubber bands in what I must say is not less than ingenuous and really inexpensive bio-mechanical spring loaded support system for my knees and hips. This system allows me to leave my walker out in my sweet yellow mini bus. The break dance action I get on the dance floor is pretty ding dang amazing if I dont say so myself! If you send me just two dollars in a self addressed envelope, I will return detailed instructions on how to attach the rubber bands and "stiffing sticks" to your own joints with guaranteed results! Also, because you are a swingular member, I will add the secret sealed section on how you can quickly attach the stiffeners and bands to your member! The bio-mechanical support you get out that little super secret is priceless! It will save your retirement rather than paying for the little blue pill! Totally Awesome! I do advise tweezers as part of your medical travel kit. Easy to add with the oxygen, and continence pads..
Now this is GREAT advice! Thanks a lot! You're not trying to horn in on my action, are you, tho? All your fancy ideas, and mechanical inginuity...Pay no attention ladies...he's obviously old..AND a geek! But damn..again..he does have good ideas!
VOYEURS4U wrote:TIFFND wrote:
So...having just recently turned 93 years of age, I have a few questions.
To heck with the questions, I say CONGRATS!!!! Tell us your secret to looking young. I wouldn't have guessed you were a day over 50All the best and Happy Birthday.
Awww well..THANKS! The secret??? LIE..Lie....lie....hehehe
ALWAYSFUNCPL wrote:TIFFND wrote:
So...having just recently turned 93 years of age, I have a few questions.
1. I enjoy the meet and greets but thinking it is going to be more and more difficult to find a "parking" spot for my walker when I'm out "break" dancing.
2. Are swingers really kind enough to help me up off the dance floor after I "break" something, and get tired of "peeking up skirts?"
3. What are the chances of a pretty girl actually getting close enough to me to allow such a peek?
And, finally...
4. Is there ANY real chance I'm still gonna get any "action" here? I have lots of popcycle sticks and rubber bands..so that isn't an issue. I have a hot 42 year old wife to reward anyone that helps....
Ahhh..so many concerns...and questions. Maybe it's just time to "hang up the spats" and stick with the nurses in the ER for the extra curricular stuff....
~Mr TiffnD~
Hilarious Mr. TiifnD. I sincerely doubt you will have any problems with your extra curricular activities. I have personally witnessed you at....ahem 93... Molest Mrs. Always with Greta gusto and satisfaction by all! LOL
Ohhhh...I ABSOLUTELY love molesting Mrs Always! And when she brings Greta..it's even better! Thanks for the encouragement Mr Always!
Thanks for all the great advice! There is a meet and greet coming up! Gonna try and put some of these ideas in motion. Sure hope Mrs Pals shows up! Thinking I might like her game plan!
Ohhhhh...sure hope that was Mrs Oldcowboy! I Love peeking under her skirt! Mr Oldcowboy...hmmm...not so much.
Just learned there will be an area for walker parking at the meet and greet...and close to the restroom, too! Whoooho!!