I (Mrs Pals) am the one who is typically online here. I kinda run this Swingular show. But Mr Pals got online the other day and his comment afterword reminded me of one reason that I don't visit here much anymore. His comment?
"Wow, I was just online on that Swingular site. I think I'd rather visit someplace more uplifting. Do you know if the morgue's open?"
I mean, seriously, the topics here on the forum aren't too bad today, as I post this, But in recent history the posts seem to have become negative and maudlin and, when I am on, I just can't stand to post. "Oh, everyone doesn't want to fuck me, woe be unto me, I'm so f'ing beautiful why don't they want to fuck me? Why aren't people flocking to my nest of love?"
It's like many folks expect to sign on to a free website and immediately obtain blow-jobs or dick from people who look like Kim Kardashian or Channing Tatum.
Huh? YOU had to PAY to join this website? **blush** Well maybe if you OWN a website you CAN just log on and obtain blowjobs from those clientele that want free access?! Oh for GAWD sakes folks, I'm just kidding, I paid for this website too. Or at least I think I did. But I'm actually not sure. So if I did, it couldn't have been a hell of a lot of money and must have damn well been worth it. Anyhoo ...
We've met lots of cool people. We've been to some awesome parties (and we're not even wild outgoing conversationalists like many of you, but we still had fun). We've witnessed and participated in some hot sex. We've found friends and continue to hang with some of them as a couple -- even though we don't have sex. Cool.
But then there's the thread police who believe that their next contribution, their own tiny bit of advice, is gonna be the game-changer that saves someone's life, and my goofy response on that thread is in their way. Excuse me if I respond, "What? It's too big for 'em? Well bring that damn thing over here and I'll test it out for you" on that post entitled, "My pecker won't fit in most Swingular women." Yes, I'm sure that dumb SOB needs advice as to proper foreplay and preparation, but hopefully he'll not kill anyone with his pecker before he makes it through my trite response. And hell, lets be honest, even if he does need some basic training, if his pecker is so big that it won't fit into one of us experienced girls, then my response is only half trite. He really should bring that damn thing over here, I'll throw some lube on it, and we'll give it a go!
Mr Pals just has a lil' one but even he likes to witness such things. Oops, did I just mention Mr Pals endowment? Oh, crap, I've been bad, I may need a spanking later!
See? Damn-it, I can't even stay serious all the way through my OWN damn thread!
Well, I guess that's why I subtitled this "A hypocritical Post?" because I guess I am bitching here. There used to be some light-hearted whacky funsters that posted here frequently and so many of them have disappeared. I miss them.
Perhaps they're down at the morgue.
"Wow, I was just online on that Swingular site. I think I'd rather visit someplace more uplifting. Do you know if the morgue's open?"
I mean, seriously, the topics here on the forum aren't too bad today, as I post this, But in recent history the posts seem to have become negative and maudlin and, when I am on, I just can't stand to post. "Oh, everyone doesn't want to fuck me, woe be unto me, I'm so f'ing beautiful why don't they want to fuck me? Why aren't people flocking to my nest of love?"
It's like many folks expect to sign on to a free website and immediately obtain blow-jobs or dick from people who look like Kim Kardashian or Channing Tatum.
Huh? YOU had to PAY to join this website? **blush** Well maybe if you OWN a website you CAN just log on and obtain blowjobs from those clientele that want free access?! Oh for GAWD sakes folks, I'm just kidding, I paid for this website too. Or at least I think I did. But I'm actually not sure. So if I did, it couldn't have been a hell of a lot of money and must have damn well been worth it. Anyhoo ...
We've met lots of cool people. We've been to some awesome parties (and we're not even wild outgoing conversationalists like many of you, but we still had fun). We've witnessed and participated in some hot sex. We've found friends and continue to hang with some of them as a couple -- even though we don't have sex. Cool.
But then there's the thread police who believe that their next contribution, their own tiny bit of advice, is gonna be the game-changer that saves someone's life, and my goofy response on that thread is in their way. Excuse me if I respond, "What? It's too big for 'em? Well bring that damn thing over here and I'll test it out for you" on that post entitled, "My pecker won't fit in most Swingular women." Yes, I'm sure that dumb SOB needs advice as to proper foreplay and preparation, but hopefully he'll not kill anyone with his pecker before he makes it through my trite response. And hell, lets be honest, even if he does need some basic training, if his pecker is so big that it won't fit into one of us experienced girls, then my response is only half trite. He really should bring that damn thing over here, I'll throw some lube on it, and we'll give it a go!
Mr Pals just has a lil' one but even he likes to witness such things. Oops, did I just mention Mr Pals endowment? Oh, crap, I've been bad, I may need a spanking later!See? Damn-it, I can't even stay serious all the way through my OWN damn thread!
Well, I guess that's why I subtitled this "A hypocritical Post?" because I guess I am bitching here. There used to be some light-hearted whacky funsters that posted here frequently and so many of them have disappeared. I miss them.
Perhaps they're down at the morgue.
I always know to take yours and Evildoers posts tongue in cheek!
Hey...I'm pretty funny. When I get undressed folks always laugh.
Or run.
Or run.
PALS4FUN wrote:
"Oh, everyone doesn't want to fuck me, woe be unto me, I'm so f'ing beautiful why don't they want to fuck me? Why aren't people flocking to my nest of love?"
(Oh what one can do when you take things out of context. LOL)
Personally I have a long list of people that want to fuckwith me. Starting with the I.R.S. They are at the top of my list and I will bet that they are on yours.
Will SOMEBODY just go and fuck Mr. CPLINTOOELE already? 
No, "seriousity"...I mean it.
WETANDHARDUTCPL wrote:Thanks ... I love like-minded people!
Love the post.. AWESOME!!!
UTARD61 wrote:What the hell are you talking about. EvilDoers is one of those ultra serious people that I was referring to! You CAN NOT get those people to crack a smile. Oh wait, no, what I meant was, no matter how hard Mr Pals and I work at it we can't seem to get in their cracks. Same difference I guess.
I always know to take yours and Evildoers posts tongue in cheek!
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:OMG, a car freak? Can I play with your shift lever? How big is your lever? How many gears? I won't play with anything less than 5. Ehem. Ah, you might wanna get that, it's prolly the queen.
We are doing a Top Gear (British Version) marathon and we still have a few seasons to go before we are up to speed. So between that, work, calls from world leaders and family we just do not have time to be funny right now.
SUGARSANDSPICE wrote:I know you're playing around with me but those tax bastards SERIOUSLY are after me! I'm finally given up and I'm just sending them there damn 75 dollars for no reason. Or it may be the State tax morons -- either way, every year they want us to prove the same thing, every year we send them a bucket full of paperwork which they accept, then the next year they don't remember it. Oh sheeez, I"m geeing too serious here. Never mind!
Personally I have a long list of people that want to fuckwith me. Starting with the I.R.S. They are at the top of my list and I will bet that they are on yours.
EVILDOERS wrote:Hey, I did notice there was another fella in that same thread also looking. I'm gonna leave it up to you to suggest they both get together and work it out! And although I claimed otherwise above, I could maybe admit that YOU are one of those people I enjoy 'cause you can be serious when it's warranted but can very much go the other way as well. What I'm trying to say is that I like how you swing both ways. Ehem. Yeah.
Will SOMEBODY just go and fuck Mr. CPLINTOOELE already?
Boy...THAT really frosts my ass when I make a comment to the op and I get get ignored! Hmmmmmmph!!
I better start a thread about that...
I better start a thread about that...
TIFFND wrote:LOL, I gotta admit, I'm a little partial to those who can toss some self-deprecating humor into things! While I've exposed otherwise here, my sexy husband always claims to be hugely-endowed. Recently he says he knows it's true 'cause, "When I drop my pants womens' eyes always get big and they say things like 'Oh-My-God I've never seen one like that', so it MUST be huge, right?" All it took was a raised eyebrow from me and he changed his story, "Well it COULD be something else I suppose. Do you think, by some weird coincidence, that they could have all stepped on sharp tacks just as I was dropping my drawers?" Yep, it's now official, I TRULY am bad and deserve a good spanking! I'll get my husband to read this thread of mine and I'm pretty sure I'll get it! LMAO
Hey...I'm pretty funny. When I get undressed folks always laugh.
Or run.
TIFFND wrote:LOL, I KNOW, you beat me to the post by three minutes, I was quoting and pasting and missed yours along the way! Well I guess I deserve a good spanking from you too! (I'm really not into s/m or anything so I don't really know how all these spanking references are jumping out of me!! )
Boy...THAT really frosts my ass when I make a comment to the op and I get get ignored! Hmmmmmmph!!
I better start a thread about that...
But more seriously, I love your light-hearted response to my poor cutting/pasting ability, and your 2nd response here is actually a great example of someone who can be more easy going about it and not take EVERY FREAKING thing here so seriously.
I don't know about other folks but I'd way rather play with playful swingers than uptight ones
Ok...forgiven....but should we ever meet you must promise to just laugh...not run! I'm mostly harmless, anyway. Thanks for the laughs today, btw!
I think you mean seriousity SHADOW.
SHADOWINGWHISPERS wrote:Ha! No, I think Evil is having a good time making fun of the new word that I made up! But I like your thinking ... it really fits for a sex site. That way I could say things like, "Hey, I'm having some seriousity as to what's under the ShadowingWhisperers swimwear! (and towel)"EVILDOERS wrote:
I think you mean seriousity SHADOW.
haha would that be serious curiosity?
I am still waiting for my three month Blow Job certificate,they said I should get it in the mail close to my three month anniversary. Just my luck this holiday mail will slow it down and I will have to wait another three weeks before I can turn it in and receive my first blow job. damn mail man anyway.
SHADOWINGWHISPERS wrote:Nope. I'm NOT believing you. I'm afraid I'll have to verify personally or you'll forever be known on this site as a big fat liar, so neener-neener-neener.
This makes complete sense! it's perfectly normal seriousity to have.. and if I told you there was a beard, would you believe me?
People say that I sometimes come across as a bit immature on this site. Go figure.
KRAZYGIRL wrote:That is SOO weird, I had the same issue except that in order to receive my Blow Job Award, for which I had to give a dozen blow jobs, which I did, but then they lost the proof in the mail, so now I have to redo it. If Mr Pals reads this, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I am still waiting for my three month Blow Job certificate,they said I should get it in the mail close to my three month anniversary. Just my luck this holiday mail will slow it down and I will have to wait another three weeks before I can turn it in and receive my first blow job. damn mail man anyway.
MINKNIGHT wrote:I ain't getting within 10 feet of ya, and not just because folks think I'm some kinda size-queen. Lets just say that this story, entitled "Mice With Bigger Penis Bones Sire More Babies" pretty much tells the tale for this lady.
I always say hung like a mouse then people won't be disappointed either way, but to know the truth you will have to check
You dont get it just for singing up, They told me with my free membership and three months of onsite involvement I would get the free blow job, and then if I pay I would get a free f--k after three months, I have to give ten blow jobs to get it free? hum thats a lot of work, ok ok how do I sign up, and do I have to give them in any particular time frame? Damn another internet scam that has sucked me in.
...by math if you ended up getting 30 blowjobs for your $30 subscription (of course you have to add in the gas to get to ladies/couples house) that's a buck a blow job all day. You don't get that kind of spankin' deal at Wal-Mart....and if you get 60 blow jobs...that's uhm...not very much $ per blow job.
That's a helluva deal!
That's a helluva deal!
801COUPLE4FUN wrote:Awww, stop it, yer gonna make me go all red. Oh wait, I already am, at least on the landing strip!
Mrs. Pals.....never met you.....but crazy hot for you at this moment!!! Thank you!
(Thank you!)Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute here. I dont get on this site as much any more (deleting messages from people who dont read your profile gets old) and I guess I'm missing some things. But is there really a guy out there saying his pecker is as big as at least a 7 pound baby??
"My pecker won't fit in most Swingular women."Because I'd really like to see/try that too! Dilated of course ;-)
Dear Mrs Pal Abby,
I recently...well ok..not so recently joined a website with the promise of receiving 30 blowjobs...i am sorry to report I never received this "free gift". What I'm wondering is if I should start a scathing thread on said website. I realize it would help no one there, as they've already joined, but it would make me feel better....and just might entice someone to help the cause....
Signed,
Mr. Blowjobless
I recently...well ok..not so recently joined a website with the promise of receiving 30 blowjobs...i am sorry to report I never received this "free gift". What I'm wondering is if I should start a scathing thread on said website. I realize it would help no one there, as they've already joined, but it would make me feel better....and just might entice someone to help the cause....
Signed,
Mr. Blowjobless
OCEANCOUGAR wrote:ROFLMAO, <- I mean that literally, OceanCougar! I did make up that post just to have an example to use of an obnoxious post without using a real example and pissing someone off! But if this person does exist, maybe we could share him....seems like there must be enough to go around?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute here. I dont get on this site as much any more (deleting messages from people who dont read your profile gets old) and I guess I'm missing some things. But is there really a guy out there saying his pecker is as big as at least a 7 pound baby??"My pecker won't fit in most Swingular women."Because I'd really like to see/try that too! Dilated of course ;-)
PALS4FUN wrote:OCEANCOUGAR wrote:ROFLMAO, <- I mean that literally, OceanCougar! I did make up that post just to have an example to use of an obnoxious post without using a real example and pissing someone off! But if this person does exist, maybe we could share him....seems like there must be enough to go around?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute here. I dont get on this site as much any more (deleting messages from people who dont read your profile gets old) and I guess I'm missing some things. But is there really a guy out there saying his pecker is as big as at least a 7 pound baby??"My pecker won't fit in most Swingular women."Because I'd really like to see/try that too! Dilated of course ;-)
Isn't that the guy they call the "Bald Headed Champ"? He scares Tif.....Along with the one they call the "Anaconda". He got in the hot tub and I swear it was still floating on top the water....We BOTH got out....damn!
Damn.. me too, where fuck is my 3 month blowjob certificate. Is that cumming with my free Obama phone? Well shit, I posted lame ass shit, never put up a picture, wrote emails to 1200 swingular friends saying "wanna fuck?" and I just can't seem to figure out why I can't get laid, or get my 3 month blowjob. So I thought it would be a good fucking idea to go into the forums and post all about how this site sucks and the people here are assholes... well that didn't help either... aaah shit.. maybe I should come across like more of a fucking douche bag, that certainly would help.... It's called situational awareness folks, people can pick up on it in about 1 millisecond. Well godddamn.. enough of this fucking place 
I have to go pick up a couple of dead bodies and take em to the morgue, do some embalming and paint their faces up pretty.. see you guys after I get done in the basement.....
I love swingular and have met nothing but great people here... Sometimes folks have to look in the mirror... (I need one of them skinny mirrors but it always make my dick look smaller than it really is)
Good day my friends!
I have to go pick up a couple of dead bodies and take em to the morgue, do some embalming and paint their faces up pretty.. see you guys after I get done in the basement.....I love swingular and have met nothing but great people here... Sometimes folks have to look in the mirror... (I need one of them skinny mirrors but it always make my dick look smaller than it really is)
Good day my friends!
GOODKARMA1211 wrote:
...by math if you ended up getting 30 blowjobs for your $30 subscription (of course you have to add in the gas to get to ladies/couples house) that's a buck a blow job all day. You don't get that kind of spankin' deal at Wal-Mart....and if you get 60 blow jobs...that's uhm...not very much $ per blow job.
That's a helluva deal!
Wait Wait.. I missed something.... you can get blow jobs at Walmart? What aisle? I'd graciously pay double
MINKNIGHT wrote:
I always say hung like a mouse then people won't be disappointed either way, but to know the truth you will have to check
I tell em all I'm hung like a horse, when they get to actually see it I have to explain about Sea Horses......
TIFFND wrote:
Dear Mrs Pal Abby,
I recently...well ok..not so recently joined a website with the promise of receiving 30 blowjobs...i am sorry to report I never received this "free gift". What I'm wondering is if I should start a scathing thread on said website. I realize it would help no one there, as they've already joined, but it would make me feel better....and just might entice someone to help the cause....
Signed,
Mr. Blowjobless
But did you get the free toaster? or did you choose the mix master 1000?
Wait Wait.. I missed something.... you can get blow jobs at Walmart? What aisle? I'd graciously pay double [/quote]
Uh...ya might wanna wait and see who it is that's actually performing the blowjobs at Walmart before offering to pay double.
[/quote]Uh...ya might wanna wait and see who it is that's actually performing the blowjobs at Walmart before offering to pay double.
EVILDOERS wrote:
Wait Wait.. I missed something.... you can get blow jobs at Walmart? What aisle? I'd graciously pay double
Uh...ya might wanna wait and see who it is that's actually performing the blowjobs at Walmart before offering to pay double. [/quote]
Good point now that you mention it, my luck it's the old gray haired greater missing half of his teeth.........uuuggghh
I don't know the quality of blowjobs u would get at Wal-Mart?! Might need sanitizer and a tetanus shot.. I myself, prefer my blowjobs at smiths ..
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:Wow, ya'll must have a lot of time on your hands. Hubby's always in a hurry so, if I'm not available or amenable, he's a "Stop-n-Go" kind of guy!CANDJ23 wrote:
I don't know the quality of blowjobs u would get at Wal-Mart?! Might need sanitizer and a tetanus shot.. I myself, prefer my blowjobs at smiths ..
We prefer organically produced non genetically modified wind powered blow jobs at Whole Foods or the Good Earth. Namaste bitches!
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:Damn you Delicious, now you both cracked me up AND got my dirty mind going. If a man were to go the Peach route, doesn't he then need some kind of coring tool to use first?PALS4FUN wrote:If you are in hurry and still want really quality frankly they have great bjs at Rancho Market and their peaches were absolutely the best anywhere in Utah this past year. Never much of a wait and the prices are great too!
Wow, ya'll must have a lot of time on your hands. Hubby's always in a hurry so, if I'm not available or amenable, he's a "Stop-n-Go" kind of guy!