Just a weird thought but I wonder how many of you had a "moment" on your first play time as a couple. Many of us go into a party or meet and greet with an idea of how things might go but sometimes you can get caught off balance or have things happen on your first time that you weren't ready for. For us it came at a party and the wife actually got into a little lap dancing and had some fun with a guy who was just enjoying the show. Yeah, it caught me unprepared and in the end I enjoyed the show and realized that I enjoyed watching her in the act and getting pleased for as far as it went.
It was after the party that I came to the realization that we were not as prepared as I thought but it really did come out to a positive conclusion and we have been able to talk about that night several times. Just thought it was funny that in the end I was speechless and really did not know how to respond or even how to get involved. Whew, it was really something though!
It was after the party that I came to the realization that we were not as prepared as I thought but it really did come out to a positive conclusion and we have been able to talk about that night several times. Just thought it was funny that in the end I was speechless and really did not know how to respond or even how to get involved. Whew, it was really something though!
We had our first "group" experience recently. While I know we both enjoyed the moment, there were thing that happened that has made the aftermath a bit uncomfortable. We both threw our inhibitions to the wind and did things we had discussed that made us uncomfortable. While it was not her first time seeing me with another woman, i think it was the over-stimulation of seeing me with another woman while she had just entered the room that made her uncomfortable.
For me it was her doing things we had said were "saved" for us that caught me off guard. Also when she did things with another man that she doesn't allow me to do.
I know we are really new, and young, to the "lifestyle", but I still feel we might have jumped too far, too fast. I am not saying we are done, but i would love some feedback and advise.
LOST IN BRIGHAM
For me it was her doing things we had said were "saved" for us that caught me off guard. Also when she did things with another man that she doesn't allow me to do.
I know we are really new, and young, to the "lifestyle", but I still feel we might have jumped too far, too fast. I am not saying we are done, but i would love some feedback and advise.
LOST IN BRIGHAM
Performance anxiety? How do you deal with it? To me it was one of life's most embarrassing moments.
SECKSIECHICA wrote:Some of the same things have happened to us. Him seeing me do things with another man and his feelings of jealousy. He has never been a jealous type, so this threw me for a loop. but now it has kind of put a stop to our playing. He's not ready to relive those experiences again. So be careful with each others feelings. they are real and they do hurt. But this all started out as fun but ended up so much more. I'm hoping with time that we can experience some good swinging times again. Good Luck
We had our first "group" experience recently. While I know we both enjoyed the moment, there were thing that happened that has made the aftermath a bit uncomfortable. We both threw our inhibitions to the wind and did things we had discussed that made us uncomfortable. While it was not her first time seeing me with another woman, i think it was the over-stimulation of seeing me with another woman while she had just entered the room that made her uncomfortable.
For me it was her doing things we had said were "saved" for us that caught me off guard. Also when she did things with another man that she doesn't allow me to do.
I know we are really new, and young, to the "lifestyle", but I still feel we might have jumped too far, too fast. I am not saying we are done, but i would love some feedback and advise.
LOST IN BRIGHAM
Communication, communication, communication. Swinging is advanced stuff for relationships and deserves a LOT of intense heart to heart discussions before, during (if feelings or issues arise) and definitely after. Debriefing each other after a playdate and talking about what went well and what didn't not only helps clarify potential stumbling blocks but can also help relive the excitement and lead to some pretty hot "reconnection" sex. :-) Swinging is NOT for everyone. Just like some people can't handle alcohol or drugs without going off the deep end I would venture to say that MOST people can't handle swinging. Jumping in with both feet and going balls to the wall (no pun intended) often leads at very least to burn out and often major relationship issues. YMMV
Well said by doers...I think its normal for different approaches to this as well. We've been members on here for quite sometime now, but we really havent done anything in this while...I guess we wouldn't call ourselves "swingers" either but we do enjoy going to the occasional party/event from time to time and catching up with old friends...both of you need that communication as one maybe "ready" whereas the other may not be...that being said...the one that feels "ready" should never be pushy...just take it slow...have fun..and in time, things will happen 
good honest feelings, this could be a great thread for a lot of couples...especially new couples to express some of the 'self doubt', anxiety and concerns that are inevitable as the decision(s) are made to move forward...gently... (in my opinion) should be a key word in the process. Don't damage a great relationship for a moment of pleasure! Make sure all are on board and look for beautiful experiences that include everyone. For Ms. Karma and I we went friendship first and foremost and some intimacy and connection with good people that we trust...maybe even speak at my funeral when the man up stairs says it is time; but those that force anyone into something they are not ready for really need to think about the long term implications. Make it a great experience that you can both talk about with a 'big' smile on your face the next morning!.
GOODKARMA1211 wrote:
good honest feelings, this could be a great thread for a lot of couples...especially new couples to express some of the 'self doubt', anxiety and concerns that are inevitable as the decision(s) are made to move forward...gently... (in my opinion) should be a key word in the process. Don't damage a great relationship for a moment of pleasure! Make sure all are on board and look for beautiful experiences that include everyone. For Ms. Karma and I we went friendship first and foremost and some intimacy and connection with good people that we trust...maybe even speak at my funeral when the man up stairs says it is time; but those that force anyone into something they are not ready for really need to think about the long term implications. Make it a great experience that you can both talk about with a 'big' smile on your face the next morning!.
You have a dude who lives in your attic that wants to kill you too? Hate those fuckers!
yea probably...but as long as we keep him locked up, and allow his mom to visit on the weekends we keep it under control
It only seems kinky the first time. Relax have fun see where you end up.
WHEW!!! Damn EVIL I thought somebody had knocked off the sarcastic smart ass you and replaced you with a kinder, gentler version that actually cared. Then I read your second post and all is right in the world again!
Fear not TEEJ. I live in Utah. Sarcasm is the only thing that keeps me even remotely sane in this Flying Spaghetti Monster forsaken place. 
TJ69NAZ wrote:
WHEW!!! Damn EVIL I thought somebody had knocked off the sarcastic smart ass you and replaced you with a kinder, gentler version that actually cared. Then I read your second post and all is right in the world again!
I don't think he was kidding we actually both do have a dude that lives in our attic (mine has better manners, but body odor often is a problem)...kind of hard to sleep sometimes though.
I understand that you are talking about first time experiences but, this reminds me of "getting experience under your belt". My husband is blown away by how uninhabited I have become with every encounter we experienced. This is an adventure and it is a lot of fun!
Have to agree with the comments from all! And like Evil said it is all about communication. We came away with a couple of thoughts and the first one I had in mind was that I enjoyed being able to watch her and the action. That one by itself was pretty intense. After the party we had mixed communication and there was the problem. We fixed it and have gone on and although we have gone to other parties we haven't found the opportunity for another play time yet. Now the wife has come up with the idea of finding the mythical female to join us. Well communication, here we go...
Oh, about forgot. Lapua, I think you meant "uninhibited". Just trying to help.. Lol.
If uninhibited was meant I bet we could help with though. 
LAPUA wrote:
I understand that you are talking about first time experiences but, this reminds me of "getting experience under your belt". My husband is blown away by how uninhabited I have become with every encounter we experienced. This is an adventure and it is a lot of fun!
That's because you're sexy as hell too!!!
Thank you for calling me out on my poor spelling. I was educated in Utah. Maybe I'll stick to reading and not responding on the Forum don't want to appear too dumb... I am blonde after all...
Oh by the way..Thanks for the compliment UGTARD61 - how are you anyway?
LAPUA wrote:
Oh by the way..Thanks for the compliment UGTARD61 - how are you anyway?
We're doing very well. And don't let that stop you from posting!!! If you're uninhabited you always know I'll inhabit you anytime!!!
You are so sweet!
Aw... Just trying to help. And Utard was right, you look awful nice to "inhabit" so please keep posting. I am not the smartest rock in the box so I am sure that you will have your chance to correct me if I get on here enough...
When my wife (now deceased) and joined the LS back in the 80';s it was I who entered with some tredpidation. However, we spent four months alking to others in the SL, going to meet-n-ggreets, and even having a swing time a some friends. We finally went to a coub and I disvovered I enjoyed watching my wife engge with othr men. Then a natural readhead asked me to dance and I was hooked. IT IS ABOUT COMMUNICATION, TRUST AND COMMITMENT.
Now I gotta ask, for Lapua and everyone else. Same room or separate rooms? Which do you prefer and why?
When we are lucky enough to find a couple that we both click with it is same room. Thats all part of the fun is being able to share in each others experiences.
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
Same room is our preference. We are really willfully and joyfully tethered to one another and so we like to be near each other and enjoy each other even as we are enjoying time and sex with others.
We are pretty much good with either, same, or different rooms, depending on the situation. Sometimes different rooms seems to work better for our play partners. Our real preferance tho, is same room..For exactly the same reason as DELICIOUSLEYWET mentioned!
I have to agree that the same room thing is what gets many of us started with the LS and to watch your partner in the "moment" is an awesome event. Always loved the ability to watch her face when she reaches the magic "O" moment and the expressions she gets when it hits. But to watch her from right next to her or even just close to her is a whole new desert and I love the way that Delicious and Simple put it. Sex is about an adventure in life and this is a whole new adventure that only takes us all to a much higher level. Whew, didn't think I was going to get that one out..... To me the interest was that some only want separate room experience. Does that mean that they share the experience with each other later? Just a thought.
For us we want to have a fun adventure together and in the same bed.....yet we are certainly not everyone however want "us" to both be active in the fun without one sitting on the side lines for the score...let alone a punt to share later if in separate rooms 
!!
!!