Swingers Forum - tired of the run around

same problem here!!

We have had our nice share of success and a nice share of frustration. What I think the problem is there are some that are extremely choosy. I get that to have some adult fun that you want some attractiveness but then don't say that you are looking for friends for outside of the bedroom as well. The other thing that I have noticed with the ones we have been frustrated is that they seem to look for and make dumb excuses as to why they shouldn't. If you don't want to then why try. It's okay because obviously there is something going on with them like insecurity in their relationship, or the male and female are not on the same page with each other, or the male is looking to play without his woman, or the male is looking to cheat, or they are going to bring drama. This being the case we are better off ourselves not playing with you. We have made some awesome long term friends and had some awesome 1 time adult fun with others. We are both working professionals with lives! We are available most evenings and on the weekends. Just because we can't get available right now doesn't mean that we aren't interested. We can plan a date and time for tomorrow or in a week or two from now and won't flake out as long as your honest and don't BS us. Is this to much to ask for? If anyone wants to meet for at least dinner we will never flake out and then after dinner we will see what happens. If anyone is interested they can text us at 8016690501

You could always try the orgy pit at The Red Rooster. The last time we were there (admittedly some years ago) we peeked in and it didn't look like too many people were sitting around chatting. There was ONE woman sort of running around...but it was probably because 3 guys were kind of chasing her. They caught her. Yeah, not a lot of pretense or wasted time. Just indiscriminate fucking.

Our problem is similar to Sexperimentors. It's lack of time. Now that our kid is out of the house, the only issue was work. My schedule is changing and it'll be a lot easier now to meet people now.

HOTCPL34 wrote:

Can't stand texting, figure if you don't have the nerve to call you won't have the nerve to show up.

Never though of it that way, but you are so right!!!

CPL4OTHERS wrote:

JND4FUN wrote:

I hate messaging back and forth and think things are going good.. then they just stop and you don't hear from them again. Just don't understand it.

Happens ALL the time

Really? Then it's their loss. You two are sexy!

we are tired of being stood up or being told at the last moment were to old or to fat or it was all in fun where are the real people on this site not the plastic people that are all about looks or clubbing we have kids but try to swing twice a month but never any takers on booty calls or we send out an email to someone that we would like to meet for a drink and see where it goes and nothing no response at least tell us no thanks there is a few of you in this forum we have emailed and nothing ever came back. We are almost to the point of saying to hell with it whats the point. If there is any one that wants to get together and play let us know.

Just a suggestion to those who seem to find no one to play with.

As cruel as it seems....it is often because your expectations are just too high. At least that has been our experience. We have found that very few couples want to play with anyone heavier, or older than themselves.
If you have in your profile that you are really only interested in another female to play with both of you..you also cut your "chances" way down. There is a reason they are called unicorns. They can be hard to find.

We have been fortunate to have found some very nice exceptions to these statements...but it has only been because we adjusted our expectations, as well. We have put ourselves out there, and got to know people..actually met them and conversed face to face. We learned that all the previous "expectations" were really a hinderance to meeting some great couples. This dosen't happen in a booty call....As long as we have been here...booty calls are still very hit and miss...and most often..a miss.

Just our opinion, and experience..of course. Your milage may vary.

I think one factor is distance. If you realize you need to drive an hour each way then it really puts time constraints if you need to get back home that evening. As a single female I'm hesitant to drive an hour alone and meet up, and then drive an hour back home late in the evening, and if I have had drink then it is a NO. I really loved the speed swinging party Friday because there were many fun, and hot couples and there was plenty of options to hook up if you wanted all in one place. So, I guess what I'm saying is that if you offer a place to stay for the evening if there is an hour drive time then it might help. I could be way out there on my thoughts and thinking, but surely do not want to offend anyone. I'm in a really talkative mood.

ORALSENSATION885 wrote:

Im not new to this scene but I have to say im so tired of the run around. Emailing and texting before anyone ever even commits to meet let alone just have some adult fun. Does anyone else have this same problem. Whats the point to a booty call if noone commits. Just venting I thought this was an adult site, if you dont like someone just say so.

I know for a fact that it has nothing to do with you. You are just simply beautiful, and oozing sensual energy! Wow, I find pregnant woman to be in a class all their own.

TIFFND wrote:

Just a suggestion to those who seem to find no one to play with.

As cruel as it seems....it is often because your expectations are just too high. At least that has been our experience. We have found that very few couples want to play with anyone heavier, or older than themselves.
If you have in your profile that you are really only interested in another female to play with both of you..you also cut your "chances" way down. There is a reason they are called unicorns. They can be hard to find.

We have been fortunate to have found some very nice exceptions to these statements...but it has only been because we adjusted our expectations, as well. We have put ourselves out there, and got to know people..actually met them and conversed face to face. We learned that all the previous "expectations" were really a hinderance to meeting some great couples. This dosen't happen in a booty call....As long as we have been here...booty calls are still very hit and miss...and most often..a miss.

Just our opinion, and experience..of course. Your milage may vary.

very well put Tiff. we have found this also to be the case and we have also re evaluated who we are as swinger and who we want to hang with. you guys are awesome and we love the friendship with you two and we've meet some awesome people thru your effortst&D to meet new people also. we also feel that expectations have been a big limiter that lead to big disappointments to who we have meet and the quality of those we meet.

people if your not having the successes ur expecting then you might want to try something new. host a party, go to some parties go to the meet and greets those seem to be fun and you get to meet lots of people of all sorts of lives. K&K work hard to put on meet and greets for everyone!!!!! so use them and happy friend finding folks.

Personally, I'm too old and too fat for everyone here, yet we've still met some cool people. Hell, once folks complained that I should take my photo down 'cause my body was so huge it was filling their computer screen and they couldn't see anything else. I'm pretty sure other folks only wanted to date me so as to get a potential "seniors discount" at restaurants and hotels.

More seriously, ORALSENSATION885, you really don't have any photos online that reflect your physique, and you're mainly interested in single females? That seems limiting? It's just my own personal situation -- but I don't have time to meet the slew of cool folks here one-by-one so before I'm meeting someone I'm going to have seen at least an overall pic of them + been able to discern, either from profile or through email exchanges, as to whether we're compatible.

But that's just silly ol' quirky me! I hope things get totally wild and crazy for ya soon!

SCOTT84067 wrote:

OBXLOVERS4U wrote:

Swinging is like a box of rasin bran, you must sift thru the flakes to find the goodies. And every year they put fewer goodies in the box. If you not willing to put forth an effort to get out and meet people, be it thru parties or just a dinner meeting. You need to stop and review the reasons you want to be in the lifestyle. Were all here to meet people of like mind, and enjoy our free time with such people. If you're in a big hurry to get naked and pile up, go to clubs that cater to the orgy crowd. If you're wanting friends to hang out with, both in and out of the bedroom. That takes a bit more time. To build a relationship it takes time and interest, not just lust. Sincerely, Vickie & Larry.

Very well put!

that's a BIG DILDO woops I mean DITDO

Thanks DDriver! We have enjoyed your company as well!

Um weve had several hot sexuality charged chat conversions with other couples. Even played picture proof t or D .

SCOTT84067 wrote:

DDRIVER03 wrote:

We've meet all kind of people and have been told sorry not our type many times and yes believe it or not even we have told others that same thing. We just wipe our tears away and go have sex with each other and talk about what we can do to make ourselves more MARKETABLE yes marketable, but not changing who we are and who were searching for. a lot of times its simply because our interest r just not the same its that simple.

DDRIVER03 to those who have told you "not our type" their loss. Your wife is shy, nothing wrong with that, but she is very beautiful. I love people of all "shapes and sizes" (I don't know how else to put it) but Marilyn Monroe said something to the effect "Our scars and blemishes make us who we are". I believe that, and looks alone do not create chemistry for me. Looks are the first thing I see, but personality and other factors play an important role (for me). There is nothing wrong with having preferences, but I want to meet someone before forming a final opinion on someone.

Thanks Scott and i agree look aren't everything but we also know we're not everyone's cup of tea and that'd fine with us. Weve even like the honest feeback from those said this to us. Weve asked for their feed back and thanked them and went on with life.this have given us great advice for the future.

To those having trouble meeting people, get out to some og the meet n greets and events out there. You would be surprised how many there are.
As an example, there are the K n K meet n greets. The puddlejumpers do a lot of bike rides, and a couple campouts that are open to everyone.
We've found this site is great for making initial contacts, but if you want to get serious about meeting like minded people, get out to some of the events. You will like the results.

We were stood up twice in one weekend. Not from the same couple either.Are we just too damn sexy? We are here to make friends sure, but more than just the occasional text of hey how's it going. Or the people ask what we're into as if it's not clearly spelled out on our profile. When we do tell them we get an"ummmmm....sorry that's a bit more than we are comfortable with." We are up front and clear about what we like, and if we ask a series of questions we aren't being pushy, we are curious and interested. There are a few profiles we've seen where everything is left blank, which explains the questions ~her it really ruins the moment if you have to stop in the heat of things to make sure it's ok to do certain things with the other's partner. ~him if it's gonna happen let it happen no questions no uneasiness we are naked and already doing stuff, if we were uncomfortable we would still have our clothes on lol. The other reason for the questions,we completely understand the frustration. Yet we are kinda picky when choosing play time friends; but if we aren't interested we have the balls to say it!!!

yea it's hard allot have to chat forever of almost start a relationship with you .. hell we just want to have fun in a variety of ways with a couple or a single women , with us both together or just one of us trading or playing .. anyway if you think you are that open to just get to fuc---g then give us a holler

BADBOY8P wrote:

If your putting up a booty call then you can expect this !!! New people are scared it all sounds good talking about swinging but then when its going to happen that's when you see the drama or excuses at the last minute !!!! 90% of the people on this web site are not swingers it just sounds good and makes their own sex life better when they talk about it . And pregnant women are very sexy but you should of put that you were looking for a soft swap couple or a single female cause really you were just looking for some ones wife to please you and what fun is that for the man ?? I say get out to the house parties meet real people , relax a little we are not here to steal your spouses we are here for sex and friendships . Happy Humping

J

Ohhhh...don't want to steal your wife, either..nope! Have to say I wouldn't mind "borrowing" her sexy self for a bit, tho...hehehe

D

BADBOY8P wrote:

Honestly I think most couples that put up a booty call then they get a blind friends request its mostly because you have no face pics or just a pic of the woman . I know we do this just to see if we are attracted rather then have to text pics then find out there is no attraction and waste a lot of time . I have seen a lot of profiles lately where nothing is filled out put yes or no on what your looking for there are so many freaking rules with people this would make finding the right fix a lot easier !!!!!!!!

Absolutely agree! Hard to make a decision whether you are interested or not, if there is nothing to base the decision on! We always pass this type of profile up!

What I find funny is the people who are complaining about the run around, yet they only want the female half of a couple for MFF hookups. If you have such stringent rules for play, how can you be picky about others rules or wants?

We don't really understand either I thought everybody on here were adults? Even when somebody says they'll be there they don't always show up. You can text and text and text and then they stop talking (the texting BS is for comfort until we meet and to make plans). Is there a problem everyone has with JUST BE HONEST!!! It's like everyone forgot how to talk? Or just want to talk forever and never meet! It's crap!!!

We can understand the frustration, however the texting isn't what bothers us. We do try to set something up in advance (those of you that know us know what we mean) we have shown up to a few meetings just to be stood up or they have "something come up" last minute. We have met a couple of great awesome wonderful couples here. We have also met some flakes. We do have kids so setting something up does take some planning to make sure our schedule coincides with the other couple's schedule. It's not that we DON'T want to meet, we just have to schedule it accordingly.

Funny, this is an old thread, but we read all of the comments.

The VERY people complaining on here are.....

1) People who we've sent texts with for weeks then they just stopped texting.
2) People who have actually set dates with us, then cancelled last second.
3) People who we've asked "if you are not interested, just say so", have indicated they are very interested, then drop of the face of the planet.

We will refrain from listing the handles (although we should) but c'mon people. A little calling the kettle black aren't we?

801COUPLE4FUN wrote:

It's true....up north here we are all DTF!!! ;-)

hotties for sure!

btw I think we have all experienced some version of the run around in one way or another... some have legitimate reasons for not being able to meet up and others are just players...we do the majority of our surfing from our cell phones which makes it more difficult to write back n forth... and after a few years now we've met so many people from going to numerous parties n meet and greets that alot of our networking now takes place through texting... so sometimes our responses are delayed unintentionally... but those that know us know we are real ;-)

SHADOWINGWHISPERS wrote:

SEXYRIDERS wrote:

...but those that know us know we are real ;-)

Yes you are very real Sexy and real buwahaha

back at you both ;-)

SEXYRIDERS wrote:

... but those that know us know we are real ;-)

You two are real? Sweet, it wasn't a wet dream... that time :-)

SIMPLEPLEASURES wrote:

It's us, really. We actually decided a couple monts to "date" soto speak. Invited a coupe to dinner. All seemed to go well. Then the next week we get a message that swinging was not for them.

So we figured we are bad for the program.

Sorry!

Simples

we've been to your parties too...it's not you! ;-)

I have experienced the same issues. I do send a pic with emails and since I am so incredibly handsome that may be my problem. It would be nice to find people interested.

I just removed friends that don't even respond to my request; thinking because they agreed to befriend me we would at least meet but, no response. It must mean they are not interested and I clearly state that I'm looking friends and lovers.


or maybe I'm just better to look at than met??????????