Swingular - Swingers

Swingers Forum - Here's something Ive been curious about

line
Previous Post Next Post
Is it really swinging if your single? Or does that just mean you want to fuck lots of people and have orgies?
It depends, I have seen singles get with other singles that are into the scene and they stay here when they get together. I guess it depends on how they embrace/approach it. If it's just I'm gonna go fuck their husband/wife then chances are probably not. If they are respectful and understanding, I would have to say yes. We do go to events and we are active as well. I guess that's just our opinion.
If they know what the lifestyle is and are playing with a couple then our answer is yes...
Oooohhh this is one of my favorites. Please pass the popcorn.
Like the new pic Evil.
If they know what the lifestyle is and are playing with a couple then our answer is yes...
My definition of "swinging" is two couples meeting and swapping partners. Anything else is just having sex. Nothing wrong with that. It just doesn't meet my definition of "swinging".
So is it more polyamory then? Whats the difference?
So is it more polyamory then? Whats the difference?
You can't be a "real" swinger unless you're official. We answered an ad in the back of a Spiderman comic book, sent in a quiz and a drawing (boobs and a penis) and they told us we would be AWESOME swingers and to send them 19.95 plus P&H. Now we're card carrying swingers.

If our certification ever expires we're just gonna be plain old wife swappers.
EVILDOERS wrote:

You can't be a "real" swinger unless you're official. We answered an ad in the back of a Spiderman comic book, sent in a quiz and a drawing (boobs and a penis) and they told us we would be AWESOME swingers and to send them 19.95 plus P&H. Now we're card carrying swingers.

If our certification ever expires we're just gonna be plain old wife swappers.


You were that kid who sent off for the "sea monkeys" huh? I always wanted a colony of sea monkeys.
NAUGHTYELFS wrote:

we have discussed this and we feel it is possible for the ever elusive unicorn to be a swinger. however, for our money a single male cannot be a swinger he is just another horny male who is often single for a reason lol
That's the dumbest fuckin thing I ever heard!! A single (unicorn) female can be a swinger, but a single male is "just another horny male who is often single for a reason"???
What about a single female that's single for a reason? Whatever that reason might be...it's no different. Just different parts. That was such a huge chauvinistic statement from some fucker that's probably sittin home on his couch covered in potato chip droppings, wackin his fuckin pud as he picture-surfs everyone on here!!!
It's people just like you that make it so hard for some of these really decent guys to get a dialogue going with a couple at least, or a friendship at best. There's no damn difference in a single male or a single female being considered a "swinger". The COUPLE is the "swinging" part of the equation, not the single...they're just wanting to get they're "fuck" on, male or female, for whatever reasons they might have.
So do me a favor...hurry up and get your nut, wipe the chip grease off your fingers so you don't fuck up your keys too bad when your wife needs to check her email, and go hang yourself!!! I have no patience for fucktards like you that have no idea what this really is!!! Play your own game, but don't ruin it for other's that are trying like hell to play within the rules!!! Wanna borrow a rope???
I am a SF. I enjoy playing with couples and with single males. I hate the bull shit that single guys on other sites put us single ladies through! Most of the SM's I have met on here have been really respectful and understanding. There have been couples I have met that are not so respectful. To me, swinging is about meeting with like minded people to enjoy yourself. Regardless of if play is involved or not. I enjoy the openness of the lifestyle, the opportunity to meet people who feel the same way I do and the ability to have the option of play if all involved feel so inclined. Whether male or female, swinging is a lifestyle. If they are living that lifestyle, they are swingers in my book.
NAUGHTYELFS wrote:

we have discussed this and we feel it is possible for the ever elusive unicorn to be a swinger. however, for our money a single male cannot be a swinger he is just another horny male who is often single for a reason lol


WOW! Really? You are right I am single for a 'reason', mine happens to be I have not found her (YET). Thank god my friends / playmates don't share you narrow minded ideas. [sarcasm] And lets be honest, if it's single and has a clit it can't be single for a 'reason' OR just be a horny female. [/sarcasm]
Similar curiosity. If couples on here are only looking to add a third (female) and have no intentions of ever playing with males half. Are they really swingers? And, should they be on a swinging website? I personally don't think it's fair!
PEBBLEROCK wrote:

[quote=NAUGHTYELFS]we have discussed this and we feel it is possible for the ever elusive unicorn to be a swinger. however, for our money a single male cannot be a swinger he is just another horny male who is often single for a reason lol
That's the dumbest fuckin thing I ever heard!! A single (unicorn) female can be a swinger, but a single male is "just another horny male who is often single for a reason"???
What about a single female that's single for a reason? Whatever that reason might be...it's no different. Just different parts. That was such a huge chauvinistic statement from some fucker

I agree with PEBBLEROCK on this. I'm single and pair up with other single males or females. I walk among you, party with you, I find pleasure being with singles, couples and groups. Then I share my partner with you, and you share your partner with me. That is all swinging. We are swapping and sharing the same goodies. We all have a great time, and my partner and I say good-bye and hope you had as much fun as us and want to get together again.
I think over the years we've pretty much seen and heard it all in regards to this subject and who is and isn't a "real" swinger. It kind of all boils down to semantics, doesn't it? Is it really that important to label it and each other? If swinging is a more of a mindset then yes, singles (male and female) are swingers too. I think, perhaps, that what some of the couples might be trying to get at (inelegantly IMO) is that in many ways perhaps singles don't really have as much invested in the process as couples do. As a swinging couple (remember it used to be called "wife swapping") you are in effect opening your relationship to some very real risk. If you don't think that's the case you either are in denial or haven't been around the scene that long. Singles simply aren't running the same risk although it could be argued they do have some risks, especially single females who at very least have some safety issues going into sometimes unknown situations alone. I guess you could argue single males also have a few risks as well. Also, of course, there is the whole argument of singles "not bringing anything to the table". An oft quoted argument to denote they don't have a partner to "swap". True enough in some regards but not entirely true in that they bring themselves and variety to the table for those couples not looking for a couples swap or who want to fulfill other fantasies or who have difficulty finding a fourway connection or attraction. Ultimately I think it's unnecessary for couples who don't want to play with singles (most often it's just single guys, a double standard perhaps?) to diss singles by saying they aren't swingers. And it's also probably not necessary for a few singles to complain that they aren't given an equal place at the table when they indeed do not come prepared to risk the same that couples must risk. Bottom line. Swing how you want to swing and don't swing how you don't want to swing. There's actually room for everyone even if we aren't all necessarily sitting at the same table.
EVILDOERS wrote:

I think over the years we've pretty much seen and heard it all in regards to this subject and who is and isn't a "real" swinger. It kind of all boils down to semantics, doesn't it? Is it really that important to label it and each other? If swinging is a more of a mindset then yes, singles (male and female) are swingers too. I think, perhaps, that what some of the couples might be trying to get at (inelegantly IMO) is that in many ways perhaps singles don't really have as much invested in the process as couples do. As a swinging couple (remember it used to be called "wife swapping") you are in effect opening your relationship to some very real risk. If you don't think that's the case you either are in denial or haven't been around the scene that long. Singles simply aren't running the same risk although it could be argued they do have some risks, especially single females who at very least have some safety issues going into sometimes unknown situations alone. I guess you could argue single males also have a few risks as well. Also, of course, there is the whole argument of singles "not bringing anything to the table". An oft quoted argument to denote they don't have a partner to "swap". True enough in some regards but not entirely true in that they bring themselves and variety to the table for those couples not looking for a couples swap or who want to fulfill other fantasies or who have difficulty finding a fourway connection or attraction. Ultimately I think it's unnecessary for couples who don't want to play with singles (most often it's just single guys, a double standard perhaps?) to diss singles by saying they aren't swingers. And it's also probably not necessary for a few singles to complain that they aren't given an equal place at the table when they indeed do not come prepared to risk the same that couples must risk. Bottom line. Swing how you want to swing and don't swing how you don't want to swing. There's actually room for everyone even if we aren't all necessarily sitting at the same table.
Absolutely agree. Well said Mr Evil! BTW...Do you know if those X-Ray glasses really worked?? I always wondered...still do. I have particulair attraction to "landing strips"....They could be real handy sorting out potential play partners!
i am a single swinging guy but not not see it that way always its a chance to get to know couples to hang out with if things happen great if not at least u r freind sex is not everything
Seems like there is a lot of judgemental issues going on here. We agree that the single person does not have anything to "trade" for but their services are important in many cases just the same. It is also true that some of the same people are always in the position of being that judgemental person and it makes me wonder sometimes about some of the issues. Another fun item is the non response from those same people who stand there making those judgements. Talk is always big but the real answer is in the pudding!
DRAGONFLIES wrote:

Two singles meeting up to have sex with a couple doesn't make them swingers. It makes them friends of convenience.
I could use that line to describe many married couples. I don't just randomly pair up with someone to have sex with or to meet other couples with. I care about my partners, and their well-being. We have a relationship, we communicate before we meet others, we use protection, and are respectful of feelings. We spend holidays together, do family things, and yes I call them friend, but we share more than just sex. I would never characterize them as friends of convenience.
ANDRAYWAY_SHANAYNAY wrote:

can't we all just fuck and get along?
Great idea, Friend.
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:

EVILDOERS wrote:

You can't be a "real" swinger unless you're official. We answered an ad in the back of a Spiderman comic book, sent in a quiz and a drawing (boobs and a penis) and they told us we would be AWESOME swingers and to send them 19.95 plus P&H. Now we're card carrying swingers.

If our certification ever expires we're just gonna be plain old wife swappers.


Did you also buy the x-ray glasses and the Sea Monkeys? Their advertisements are usually on the next page. I did and what a rip-off.
PEBBLEROCK wrote:

[quote=NAUGHTYELFS]we have discussed this and we feel it is possible for the ever elusive unicorn to be a swinger. however, for our money a single male cannot be a swinger he is just another horny male who is often single for a reason lol
That's the dumbest fuckin thing I ever heard!! A single (unicorn) female can be a swinger, but a single male is "just another horny male who is often single for a reason"???
What about a single female that's single for a reason? Whatever that reason might be...it's no different. Just different parts. That was such a huge chauvinistic statement from some fucker that's probably sittin home on his couch covered in potato chip droppings, wackin his fuckin pud as he picture-surfs everyone on here!!!
It's people just like you that make it so hard for some of these really decent guys to get a dialogue going with a couple at least, or a friendship at best. There's no damn difference in a single male or a single female being considered a "swinger". The COUPLE is the "swinging" part of the equation, not the single...they're just wanting to get they're "fuck" on, male or female, for whatever reasons they might have.
So do me a favor...hurry up and get your nut, wipe the chip grease off your fingers so you don't fuck up your keys too bad when your wife needs to check her email, and go hang yourself!!! I have no patience for fucktards like you that have no idea what this really is!!! Play your own game, but don't ruin it for other's that are trying like hell to play within the rules!!! Wanna borrow a rope???


Are the two of you, perhaps, being a bit reactionary about this thread? Pebbles I would agree that many if not most everyone involved in someway with the swing scene is mostly trying "to get their fuck on" and I appreciate you honesty, but to offer the guy a rope? Either he or she or both made a reductionist statement about single men. Their opinion really only spoils a single males chances with them and only them. Remember guys with the big sabers don't need to rattle them and the ladies also read these forums and the ladies usually prefer a gentleman.

Peace people, peace. [/quote]You're right, I was a bit reactionary and over the top. I guess I get a bit defensive for the truly respectful single males out there. And YES we have them blocked, but only because Pebbles is into girls and very close relationships right now. Thanks for reminding me to tone it down a bit. Peace babies!
I think I owe NAUGHTYELFS an apology...not for the way I feel, but for the stupid things I said in such a facetious manner. I was reacting against a belief I have about this lifestyle, and had no reason to make it sound like I was attacking anyone.

I certainly hope you didn't run to LOWE'S and buy a rope...I have one in the garage...KIDDING>>>JUST KIDDING!!! So please accept my apology, and understand, that I hold single males as responsible for their behavior and respect, just as highly as the lovely single females here, if not more so, but they deserve that respect until proven otherwise.

We rarely get on here these days because it seems like we never miss anything anyway. And when we do, I'm usually in a strange mood and lookin to pick a fight or a fuck, so I sometimes let my giant mouth over-step my tiny penis and matching brain. I mean well, and need to work on my patience. Peace!

Johnny The Rock, Pebbles The Shy.
EFW2 wrote:

I am single now, mainly because my job consistently has had me away from home 4-5 nights a week for the last 3 years and she had her fill of that. We played together and I still am somewhat active and enjoy the lifestyle. Although, by virtue of my status playtime is much harder to come by, I truly enjoy being around like minded people. The friendships that develop with the possibility for "benefits" are unlike what the vanilla world has to offer and without all of the BS and games of dating. I'm just not interested in a relationship at this point in my life. Yes, I'm single and identify as a swinger.

If I just wanted to get laid, there are plenty of bars out there... Just sayin


Exactly! I've had lousy luck in the dating department, the guys I've met on "straight" sites tend to be hiding a lot of baggage and then it boils down to a lack of skill or confidence in the bedroom. As a single female on here I still get more than my fair share of cheaters, the ones who say they are single and are just looking for sex on the side or a little spice to their marriage. The couples I've become friends with know I'm not trying to steal their husband or bring drama to their happy home. I haven't found my partner in crime but I'm taking applications ;) I am on here because I'm not ready for a relationship (was stuck in a sexless relationship for 8 years, been single now for 11 months) and I want to have fun. Good clean hanging out with my friends fun. Friends who might want to have sex with me.
"In a nut shell..." That's one big fucking nut!
Yeah, let's all go fuck Mary. Wait. Who's Mary? Is she like a unicorn?
EFW2 wrote:

I am single now, mainly because my job consistently has had me away from home 4-5 nights a week for the last 3 years and she had her fill of that. We played together and I still am somewhat active and enjoy the lifestyle. Although, by virtue of my status playtime is much harder to come by, I truly enjoy being around like minded people. The friendships that develop with the possibility for "benefits" are unlike what the vanilla world has to offer and without all of the BS and games of dating. I'm just not interested in a relationship at this point in my life. Yes, I'm single and identify as a swinger.

If I just wanted to get laid, there are plenty of bars out there... Just sayin


Like your take on the Lifestyle
All I have to say is for a group of so called "open minded" people there sure is a lot of prejudice and judgement here, where is the luv y'all?
They're just pissed off because singles have found a loophole. They don't have to put up with someone hogging the tv remote, leaving dirty clothes all over the floor, "that" time of the month, leaving the toilet seat up, farting snoring and drooling in bed, wanting to talk about "feelings", etc. and they still get to have lots of sex. It's not fair and us couples hate you all.
Really we think it depends on the others playing, if you are a single guy or girl in this and know what it's all about then your also in the lifestyle. If it's someone who thinks this is a fast way to a fucking (guys mostly) than your out of your mind! Most of our time it's like weeding through the bullshit of others trying to find folks that are as their pictures show and profile reads. But once you meet them single or couple and click........well it doesn't take long for the clothes to come off!
I would also like to clarify this... I am thinking we should conduct a study - let's get together and play and then take a poll and see if we all like it - what are you all doing tonight?
I would also like to clarify this... I am thinking we should conduct a study - let's get together and play and then take a poll and see if we all like it - what are you all doing tonight?
Well we have been doing this hmmmmmmmmm 15 years and don't consider ourselves to be Swingers either, not that there is anything wrong with that. We without putting a label on it, consider ourselves to be sexually open minded couple. We have played with couples and singles but we don't play with everyone we meet. And yes some of the singles we played with we don't even now consider them lifestyle or swinger just curious wanting to experiment so they did. Most of all we enjoy the social openness that this affords us the opportunity to meet others in a physical way and the friendship we have made. Plus being able to experiment and share fantasy's of are own. If you find something more exciting than sex, keep it to yourself, we are having way too much fun!
I guess with the mind set of some here, IE singles aren't swingers, one could also make the statement that there's no such thing as swingers. Couples aren't swingers, they're just two people who are married and want some strange and talk each other into it. See how this works? And the comment that singles bring nothing to the table but themselves also applies to couples. You can only bring yourself to the table whether alone or with your partner and your partner does likewise. You just happen to do it at the same time. Come on folks we all participate on what ever level we choose and identify ourselves as we want. Like saying a soft swap couple aren't swingers either because they don't go all the way with others. It seems silly on all counts. As a narwhal(single male) who been in it for a decade now it still amazes me to watch all the who ha over such trivial things as definitions. We are all swingers, otherwise we wouldn't be here. Inclusive not exclusive.
Congrats on 10 years in the lifestyle, SLOW. We're old timers as well and have been doing this off and on since shortly after we got married. Over 25 years now! So I guess I can sort of see both points of view and contrary to the current rather negative societal attitude towards political correctness I have no trouble being firmly on the side of being kind to people and not labeling or belittling anyone regarding their participation in the lifestyle. Having said that, however, I can also see the viewpoint of some couples since when we first started swinging there really were no singles (or at least so few that we never met any) actively participating in the lifestyle. A few years later we met a few singles who would, say, hire a hooker to gain access to parties and events or sometimes convince a friend to act as sort of a swinging "beard" if you will, again to gain entry to swinging events. This was all pre-internet so connecting was considerably more difficult than it is now. To say that the internet changed swinging (for better or worse) is a HUGE understatement. I was talking to a guy (formerly single but now in a couple) recently about his experiences as both a SM and a couple in the lifestyle. His attitude had actually changed dramatically. It reminded me of former smokers who now are militantly anti-smoking. His argument (now that he's no longer single) was to take the couples and the singles and put them on separate websites and what do you have? He said you have a swingers site and a hookup site. I told him that there are some couples who actually seek out singles over other couples but he wasn't easily dissuaded. One final point he made that I thought perhaps was a valid point...he said when he first started out as a SM in swinging he thought that all or most of the married guys who enjoyed seeing their wives getting fucked were basically cuckolds or at very least not real men. He said it took him many years and a lot of different experiences to lose that mindset. He also said that now that he's part of a couple who is frequently contacted by single guys he sees that attitude (because he recognizes it from when he had it) far more often than not. He stated that he would guess that the VAST majority of those single guys who don't "get it", the bad apples if you will, the ones who ruin it for the few good guys have that attitude and mindset. He said that's why there will probably always be somewhat of a schism between singles and couples. Whew, that was a long fucking post. Hope it made sense. No more herb before posting, Mr. Evil! LOL
An interesting and lively discussion ... into which I will venture with this:

As a single guy, I'm not particularly concerned with whether I'm labelled a swinger or not. Nor am I concerned with those who would exclude me. To each his own. However, as quoted in my profile ...

"Sex is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other."
Thanks EVILDOERS. You've been in it since the talk and play yellow pages and car keys in a bowl days! I never held the attitude about a couples husband being cuckold. People have always just been people to me. Perhaps that's why I have been successful over the past decade. I do remember going to meet and greets for a good 6 months or more just observing interactions as I socialized before I was approached. I think a lot of singles try to dive in without realizing they are under greater scrutiny than a couple. OK single females were accepted a tad sooner. A newbie I took to a M&G was off to the after parties first one. Gave her a kiss and said go have fun. she did. But I digress.

To the topic, I never worried about how this or that couple defined what swinging is to them. Like art, it's all subjective. It wouldn't hurt if others did the same, couple or single to let go and play how they choose.
Shall we shag now or shall we shag later? Yeah Baby Yeah!
It seems like the lifestyle is no less judgmental than the vanilla crowd. Honestly we aren't here so we can wear the cool lifestyle team jacket nor get our super-secret swinger decoder ring (drink more Ovaltine and use a condom). It's kind of funny that the same group of people who get all bent out of shape at the vanilla community for labeling and judging us turn around and do it from within. If I missed some federal definition of the term swinger than perhaps I'm wrong, otherwise why waste a moment of time passing judgment on who gets deemed worthy of the sacred title? I would have to say the definition of a swinger is someone who says "hey, I'm a swinger!" Be honest, how many swinger couples do you know that never play? They may go to meet and greets, maybe even house parties, but seldom if ever play. Are they swingers? Is there some monthly quota we need to meet to maintain our swinger status? I'm being over the top to make a point. I think of the lifestyle crowd as an enlightened group that realizes sex is amazing and variety is amazing and sex with variety is TOTALLY AWESOME! We forgo the silly social rules and regulations because we understand how much they confine society into little boxes of good and bad, right and wrong; and most of that is subjective moral hogwash. It's kind of discouraging to see members of a community that should be supporting one another pass judgment as to who is and who isn't. Being a swinger is a state of mind baby. Nobody can make you a swinger, nobody can take it away. So in closing to the single swingers out there I say...go swing you fricking swinging swingers you!!!
Now, if you want to define something useful...what the hell is bi-comfortable (kidding, totally kidding I know there are all sorts of threads dedicated to that topic)?
Actually, SLOW, we were doing this BEFORE Talk and Play Yellow Pages when the only way to connect was via Las Vegas Connection magazine that had a very small Utah subsection in it (and before that when we lived back east...again Connection Magazines). I actually still remember being at a very small house party in West Valley with some peeps (they weren't called peeps back in those days-lol) and looking at the latest issue and marveling over an ad for a single guy. We were all a little dumbfounded and really didn't know what to make of an ad for a single guy. It didn't help that he basically worded it something like "Let me be your private little secret, ladies."...or something like that. Singles of either sex didn't really start appearing in large numbers until the internet. Hell, you may have been one of the first. LOL
Yep I jest luv me sum lively discussin'.
I hope this doesn't come across as judgmental or bashing anyone (not my intent at all...like I said, I can see both sides of this debate) but it's extremely interesting to me to see how opinions can change when someone who was part of one group becomes part of the other group. Fascinating.
PEBBLEROCK wrote:

NAUGHTYELFS wrote:

we have discussed this and we feel it is possible for the ever elusive unicorn to be a swinger. however, for our money a single male cannot be a swinger he is just another horny male who is often single for a reason lol
That's the dumbest fuckin thing I ever heard!! A single (unicorn) female can be a swinger, but a single male is "just another horny male who is often single for a reason"???
What about a single female that's single for a reason? Whatever that reason might be...it's no different. Just different parts. That was such a huge chauvinistic statement from some fucker that's probably sittin home on his couch covered in potato chip droppings, wackin his fuckin pud as he picture-surfs everyone on here!!!
It's people just like you that make it so hard for some of these really decent guys to get a dialogue going with a couple at least, or a friendship at best. There's no damn difference in a single male or a single female being considered a "swinger". The COUPLE is the "swinging" part of the equation, not the single...they're just wanting to get they're "fuck" on, male or female, for whatever reasons they might have.
So do me a favor...hurry up and get your nut, wipe the chip grease off your fingers so you don't fuck up your keys too bad when your wife needs to check her email, and go hang yourself!!! I have no patience for fucktards like you that have no idea what this really is!!! Play your own game, but don't ruin it for other's that are trying like hell to play within the rules!!! Wanna borrow a rope???


You hit it right on the head!
I don't think they are swingers, they are just single people that like to play with swingers, and for sure there is something in the lifestyle that they like besides the sex.