Ms. Evil and I were talking this morning about the the lifestyle in the age of Facebook. She mentioned that she kind of feels like there is the possibility of learning TOO much about your lifestyle friends when you're also on their Facebook feed. Especially in the hyperpolarized world we live in right now she thinks that maybe knowing too much about other swingers can make it harder to connect sexually with them. In fact, more than once, I've walked into the bedroom to find her on her laptop reading something a swinger friend has posted on Facebook with steam coming out of her ears (yeah we made an appt. with an ENT to get that checked out). I think it's gotten so bad at times that she's totally lost her 'lady wood' for a few of our lifestyle friends. I'm not really on Facebook so it hasn't affected me (other than her maybe not being as excited about possibly hooking up with some couples because they are so adamant in their views and express them so vigorously on Facebook). Just wondering what everyone thinks. Does Facebook (and learning all the dirty details about other couples) affect how you start to think about them? Ever not wanted to hook up with someone once you realized how different your viewpoints were or when they maybe posted some things on social media that you found offensive?
Wow, you make a great point and I the Mr. have to agree that people share way more than is needed on Facebook. I think I have been on once in the last year. I think people need to keep some things to themselves. I can see how knowing a little bit more than maybe a person should could affect them in wanting to play or not with people .
We actually created a Facebook page for us as a couple.we have a whole network of other users with couples profiles that are all lifestyle people...we call it swingbook..lol...that why you can keep your lifestyle friends and your vanilla friends separate 
Exactly! i have 2 different pages as well.
It's not about keeping our vanilla friends separate from our swinger friends. It's about learning too much about our swinger friends and realizing that perhaps maybe we have very different life views and possibly ideas that clash a lot. It's easy in a sexual situation for these topics to not come up but if people start posting stuff like their political views or views on social issues on their FB page it's hard to ignore the fact that despite a possible physical connection you might not really have anything in common. In fact your might very well in any other situation be at odds.
I agree that there are those with attitudes so opposed to mine that they lose all sex appeal. Too many 10s turn out to be -2 because of their attitudes and how they treat others.
It comes down to the line of what you consider sexy and what you think that sex should be like.
So in the long run I guess it really depends on how open minded you are and if you accept bed buddies and friends that have opposing points of view. I guess it also depends on how radical you and they are about something. Can a Mormon and an ex-Mormon be friends or a Democrat and Republican?
It comes down to the line of what you consider sexy and what you think that sex should be like.
So in the long run I guess it really depends on how open minded you are and if you accept bed buddies and friends that have opposing points of view. I guess it also depends on how radical you and they are about something. Can a Mormon and an ex-Mormon be friends or a Democrat and Republican?
One solution is to setup a life style's facebook page.
We HAVE separate pages for vanilla and lifestyle friends. Our question is what do you do if by being on lifestyle friends' FB feed you learn more about them than you want to know? Specifically like maybe that their political or social views are lightyears apart from your own? Or can you just let it go if you find out (because you're on their FB feed) some peeps you've been lusting after have vastly different thoughts and beliefs than your own?
I look at the lifestyle the same way I look at every other aspect in life. I am who I am and I feel no need to hide who I am for any one or any reason. If there happens to be people who find me less attractive because our views differ, then it isn't really my problem. That may limit my potential friends with benefits just as it would friends without benefits. In the end, however, I find myself surrounded by people who know me and like me for who I am. That is really how I want it anyway.
I have been very fortunate with my friends. Facebook has been a nice way to keep in touch with some of the great swinger friends I have made. For me there really is not a lot of posting other then email and an occasional photo. Yet it has allowed me to stay closer to some really important friends, which I thank that I have made in the swinging community.
Either here or facebook.....We love our friends regardless of their hard times or how they view the world. We just love the energy when we are together!!!
Rather it is here or facebook we have a fun time!!
Rather it is here or facebook we have a fun time!!
Little known fact. Sam Walton was infamous for hilariously giving his wife Helen a Dirty Sanchez at each Walmart annual shareholders meeting.
I agree with the OP, however, I do think Facebook has some advantages. Assuming you meet a couple (or single person) on here and trust them enough to exchange Facebook profiles, I think it ads some legitimacy to the whole thing.
I mean I can check out your friends, your family, your pictures, etc. and in some way or another verify that you're real and sane. Sure, people can hide things, I realize that. But when you've got your entire family tree and all your friends on Facebook it makes it a lot harder to keep secrets.
When someone shares their Facebook profile with us I honestly feel like I can trust them a little more which is a nice feeling.
I mean I can check out your friends, your family, your pictures, etc. and in some way or another verify that you're real and sane. Sure, people can hide things, I realize that. But when you've got your entire family tree and all your friends on Facebook it makes it a lot harder to keep secrets.
When someone shares their Facebook profile with us I honestly feel like I can trust them a little more which is a nice feeling.
Seriously? A month and a half old thread that some peeps resurrect for their own demented off topic pleasure and you guys bring it back on topic? C'mon, don't make me pull out my "fun police" badge and bust y'all for being too fucking serious on hump day. Woo hoo! It's 4:20 somewhere! 
We opened a private group page on our Adult Facebook as I'm sure some of you already saw. We don't give out our name unless they ask and don't allow them to join unless they ask. Perhaps your right to many people can invade your personal information. But most if not all seem to be on Facebook so yet another way to perhaps connect with others. You can always filter out the nut jobs
I just hope Obamacare can help me get rid of these oozing sores on my junk. I'm pretty sure I got them at a Tea Bag rally. 
very interesting points to read on here. However, there are also those couples or LS folks that lack discretion. We can't allow a lapse in discretion from anyone and facebook it's so easy to screw that up, that we just don't go there. So, facebook is not something I entertain, because ppl lose their practical sense on there.
Confused... so if someone is for gun control, or is a republican vs. democrat, or if for or against same sex marriage, this makes them less fuckable? When we meet with a couple, those issues are never brought up, it's more about life, kids, friends, hobbies. If we see a lifestyle friend spewing about politics, religion, or general ranting/raving it does not affect either of our "boners" for said people. They believe what they believe, and have every right to express it or not on any forum they choose. If we were all the same, had the same beliefs, convictions, hobbies and likes/dislikes it would be a boring world indeed.
Fb is good for stay in touch with freinds and also Check on someone u have never meet or verified them at least. You dont have freind them aalways to see their profiles and if you do freind then u can always undressed i mean unfreind them as fast.
Basically it cums down to Respect of boundaries by u and all that use fb and place and time, your comfortably and what u want private and what u don't.
CNTRLCPL wrote:
Confused... so if someone is for gun control, or is a republican vs. democrat, or if for or against same sex marriage, this makes them less fuckable? When we meet with a couple, those issues are never brought up, it's more about life, kids, friends, hobbies. If we see a lifestyle friend spewing about politics, religion, or general ranting/raving it does not affect either of our "boners" for said people. They believe what they believe, and have every right to express it or not on any forum they choose. If we were all the same, had the same beliefs, convictions, hobbies and likes/dislikes it would be a boring world indeed.
Not necessarily less fuckable but when someone really goes off on something on Facebook (you know the ones who get really upset about shit, whether it's like politics or religion or whatever) it's really hard for us not to look at them a little bit differently. It's not unlike maybe a play partner that gets really drunk one night and gets angry or abusive or something and you look at them a little differently after that. Of course we all have different beliefs and convictions but some people seem to get really upset about some shit and for us, at least, it's really hard not to see them a little differently afterwards. Maybe you can compartmentalize things better than we can and just focus on their genitals and not see the whole person as much. Ms. Evil and I approach swinging from the viewpoint of wanting friends first with the possibility of sex later and it's hard to do sometimes when we see some of the stuff people post and it's totally TMI. My point was simply that maybe it's not always a good idea to be friends with some swinger friends on Facebook.
EVILDOERS wrote:CNTRLCPL wrote:
Confused... so if someone is for gun control, or is a republican vs. democrat, or if for or against same sex marriage, this makes them less fuckable? When we meet with a couple, those issues are never brought up, it's more about life, kids, friends, hobbies. If we see a lifestyle friend spewing about politics, religion, or general ranting/raving it does not affect either of our "boners" for said people. They believe what they believe, and have every right to express it or not on any forum they choose. If we were all the same, had the same beliefs, convictions, hobbies and likes/dislikes it would be a boring world indeed.
Not necessarily less fuckable but when someone really goes off on something on Facebook (you know the ones who get really upset about shit, whether it's like politics or religion or whatever) it's really hard for us not to look at them a little bit differently. It's not unlike maybe a play partner that gets really drunk one night and gets angry or abusive or something and you look at them a little differently after that. Of course we all have different beliefs and convictions but some people seem to get really upset about some shit and for us, at least, it's really hard not to see them a little differently afterwards. Maybe you can compartmentalize things better than we can and just focus on their genitals and not see the whole person as much. Ms. Evil and I approach swinging from the viewpoint of wanting friends first with the possibility of sex later and it's hard to do sometimes when we see some of the stuff people post and it's totally TMI. My point was simply that maybe it's not always a good idea to be friends with some swinger friends on Facebook.
Very true we have the same approach.
EVILDOERS wrote:
Maybe you can compartmentalize things better than we can and just focus on their genitals and not see the whole person as much.
Was not implying this at all... although we can see it looks this way. I think we agree that some people air their opinions much too strongly sometimes in social media circles. (we may have some of the same friends..lol). That does not make them any LESS fun in a social setting where those types of conversations usually do not take place. We also like people we can relate with on many levels (mostly sarcasm, humor and general mischievousness).
I never thought of it that way and yes I can see how it would be a turn off. I've always kept my face book separate because of family kids and such don't need to know that about me. Living in a predominantly "Molly" neighborhood could be bad as well.
CNTRLCPL wrote:EVILDOERS wrote:
Maybe you can compartmentalize things better than we can and just focus on their genitals and not see the whole person as much.
Was not implying this at all... although we can see it looks this way. I think we agree that some people air their opinions much too strongly sometimes in social media circles. (we may have some of the same friends..lol). That does not make them any LESS fun in a social setting where those types of conversations usually do not take place. We also like people we can relate with on many levels (mostly sarcasm, humor and general mischievousness).
Yeah, that's the way we thought for quite a few years. Maybe it's just the times we live in but now many people seem so fucking polarized. The reason we posted this thread was because a couple we considered casual friends were posting some really inflammatory things on their Facebook page. We kind of tried to disregard it until we ran into them at a party. It was MUCH harder to ignore some of the things they saying that might have been construed as more or less benign if we didn't have the subtext of their rantings on Facebook. You certainly have the right to ignore whatever you want to when it comes to your swinging acquaintances but for us it was just too much. And in case you were wondering, the things they were writing on their Facebook page were blatantly racist and then at a party they were making sort of snide little comments here and there about other couples that were borderline racist. We might have let it slide a little bit (blaming it on too much alcohol or something) if we hadn't read the things they said on Facebook. :-(
Well, that is something completely and entirely different! I assumed (made an ass out of myself) figuring it was some normal Facebook rant.. We would not tolerate that in the least, Facebook or in private.. being an inter-racial couple and all.
What is acceptable tolerance? Personally I am very intolerant of intolerance. Although I enjoy a good debate I abhor rabid thinking. Gun control is one of those hot buttons for a lot of people. I own guns but I am for reasonable gun control. Go to the rabid right or rabid left and I can live with that because it does not have to be personal. If you didn