Lady Crash here, I have a problem that I need some suggestions on how to remedy it. I have given my husband a HALL PASS. Let me explain why I have done this. I don't have a desire to be with anyone else but my husband has several fantasies. Some of these fantasies cannot be fullfilled because I am not game. My husband posted his situation several months ago and got ALOT of flack over it. He was even called a cheater. One fantasy that I wanted to fulfill for him was to have another female help me please him. A lady friend that would be concentrated on HIM NOT ME!!! You wouldn't think that would be so difficult to find but it is. I have female friends but they are reluctant to do it because they fear it would ruin our friendship. I even tryed hiring a LADY OF THE NIGHT to do it in Nevada but she wanted $2000.00. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!So my question is How would I go about getting someone in the lifestyle to help me with this fantasy. Noone seems to be game with my request. My husband is not a LOSER, he does not drink, do drugs, or have any diseases (other than high blood pressure), is very eager to please his woman, and is very easy to please, DOES NOT require any kind of perverted actions to make him happy. He however does like bondage on his females, gives him a little extra ummmppphhh!! If you know what I mean. So now that you know the situation, suggestions PLEASE!!!!
By the time you are in your sixties you are way behind the curve. If someone has not made friends in the lifestyle by that point in time it will be difficult to hook up. Most of the older folks already have long term friends in the lifestyle and don
Thanks for all the replys. Unfortunately we just haven't been party animals so that has been a problem and my husband does not flirt on here or try to get hookups. He is honest about our situation and that is why he changed our profile. So thanks and SugarandSpice I appreciate the answer from you too. He however is not down on himself he just has a fantasy or two he has just chosen to put the truthful answers on our (his actually) profile. Thanks again...........
If he is unwilling to flirt, and is unwilling to socialize at the get-togethers... you will have an even more difficult time than the rest of us in finding the ever elusive unicorn
Totally agree with SXYT1ME. The part that struck me the most about your post is that you are doing the legwork because he is for whatever reason unable or unwilling to do so. Not many ladies want to be a living sex doll for someone who doesn't seem to want to put forth very much effort if any at all. That coupled with no pics, etc. is going to make it extremely difficult for you to find him a play partner (and yes, despite everything you say some people ARE going to assume he's cheating or at very least writing these posts). If you aren't having any luck contacting women in his age group perhaps go a little older. Also I would suggest perhaps you think outside the box a little and maybe look at sites like Ashley Madison or other sites where married people try to hook up. Also, Craigslist has a personals section where people aren't necessarily looking for a couples connection and can hook up and they also supposedly have pros that are considerably cheaper than 2 grand if you aren't too picky about looks. Bottom line, he's effectively an older single male in a pool filled with young willing hardbodies. It's gonna be a tough task getting him pussy here. Sorry.
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:
You are seriously don't get it?
Your profile sucks.
No pics.
Little information and it screams potential cheater.
This post itself is soaking in desperation. This is a social sex site. Get with the fucking program and act accordingly or tell hubby to keep dreaming. No woman with any self respect is going to give a sympathy fuck and a pat on the head. Add pics of BOTH of you. Socialize/mingle TOGETHER. Cam in the chat room. Get verified. Explain what you are both looking for or need and what you are each willing to give and what are deal breakers. If you as the female half feel comfortable enuf to post, then you should have no problem being present to put both your hubby and a potential playmate at ease to actually make his fantasy happen. And no, an anonymous post does not verify he has a hall pass, that you do exist, and that you are on board with this. There are several non playing spouses who still choose to be known as to give their significant other credibility.
Simply put, stop whining, lose the sad pathetic "fuck me now" desperation, and fix what needs to be fixed.
Personally, my bullshit radar is going off. Feel free to prove me wrong.
Next time try not to sugar coat it as much
C'mon BLUE, don't sugarcoat it. Tell us how you really feel. So if Ms. CRASH can comply with all of your suggestions does that mean we can put you down as a definite maybe? ;-)
OK BlueEyes what would you like for me to verify? You already know what the profile says. I Mrs. Crash is not interested in playing. I will gladly give you my cell number so that you can speak with the female part of the equation to PROVE that the husband is not the one making the post. We use to have pictures on our profile, unfortunately there was a member who WAS NOT discreet that knew one of my family members and blabbed her Fing mouth to them. Caused a whole lot of drama for us. Another problem was ALL of the pictures posted were ONLY of me and my body parts. NOT exactly fair since I am not the one wanting to play. So me being the BITCH that I am removed ALL of the pictures from our profile and WILL NOT be allowing any of me ever to be posted again. I will gladly take picture of my man and let him post as many of those as he wants. I guess everyone interprets things differently, NOT ONCE was there ever any asking for a SYMPATHY FUCK, or "FUCK ME NOW" desperation, (although your profile screamed out FUCK ME NOW almost every other sentence. oh no wait it was fortheloveofjesus FUCK ME NOW)!!!!My husband is not a cheater, in fact if he was we wouldn't still be trying to get him hooked up with his fantasy. I have NO PROBLEM BEING PRESENT WHILE MY HUSBAND FULLFILLS HIS FANTASY, I said in my post I wanted a female to help me with the fantasy, help me please my man, and YES get a SHARE of the MEAT as you put it. I believed a threesome was part of the PROGRAM, and believe me sister that was my way of getting right to the meat of the program. I understand your reluctance to believe that a woman would want her man to have his fantasies without her getting anything in return. But honest to GOD I have no desire to be with anyone BUT my husband and do not feel like he should be deprived because we have different needs and wants in life. I love him enough to let him have his fantasy, but am not going to compromise myself or my ideals to do something I am not wired to do or want to do. I will gladly private message you my cell number so that you can call me. Just another little bit of information. We attended two events together,and I was uncomfortable the whole evening at both events. I encouraged my husband to flirt and take control of several conversations but to tell you the truth swapping PARTNERS was the main thing on ALL of their minds. A threesome just would not do as far as they were concerned. I have bought my husband numerous lap dances and call me crazy but it was exciting to me just to be able to watch my husband get excited. TOTALLY enough for me....So the thought of having a female in our bed helping to turn my husband on would probably send me climbing the walls. To take another of your lines...ENUF said!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to agree with the reader who said add pics to you profile. If you're serious BE SERIOUS. A profile without pics isn't serious.
Blueeyes, I agree with you.
Interestingly, in the week since the OP, that profile has not improved.
Interestingly, in the week since the OP, that profile has not improved.
Okay, I read the initial post and thought, "I can help." So I opened the profile, and not pictures. RED FLAG. So I was going to send a message and maybe start some communications and mention thelack of pictures. Then I read the rest of the posts. Seems, I am not the only one on this boat!
I still stand by the last sentence in my first post in this thread. Mr. CRASH is a de facto older single male in a pool filled with MANY young, hot, buff single males. Best of luck to you but you will have your work cut out for you finding willing female partners for him regardless of your good intentions.
Hmmmm........... suggestions? Start saving your pennies.....
Ok, this is the male half. After my loving wife got all of the commotion started I thought that maybe I would stick my head out from under my rock to say, WHEEEEEW! I thought for a minute that someone had started a forest fire or a wild beaver fight and they forgot to send me the warning before hand. I for one want to thank all of you for your words of kindness, condolence or whatever it was you was throwing my way. I was fine just holding onto a fantasy or two and the peeps that I have talked to on the site have been a lot of fun or even just a little screwy.. But, a thanks to BlueEyes she was awesome and we will be talking. Oh, I don't want to forget Evildoers for starting to get the headstone slid my way and to send me the daily reminder that the stuff on my head is actually gray hair and not the confetti that I stole from the last party I attended 30 years ago. So, if your eyes can handle it pics will be coming (my wife says so) and you have all had your only warning ( I won't be responsible for any damages, loss of sanity or paint pealing off of your older model Buick). As for saving pennies, I have several pounds in the closet somewhere just let me know where to send the Brinks truck. As usual, when you get to this advanced age you forget many things so for now I am going to use my spectacles to find the send, submit or shoot button and send this off for now..... Thanks
Sorry, just keepin' it real. We've been in this game a LONG time and I think we have a pretty good feel by now for what makes it tick. Swinging is far different from real life and there is a currency, if you will, and that currency is youth and hotness OR having something to trade (a spouse/partner) in lieu of being male (or female) model perfect. Sucks, but that's the way it is. If pity fucks worked I would get SO much pussy! LOL I'm not getting any younger either and the exact same standards apply to me if Ms. Evil decided she was done but I wanted to play on. But go for it. You don't really have anything to lose, right? We actually have some old friends who live back east who were in this exact situation. She decided she was done. He wasn't. He had a tough road trying to find ladies to fuck him. He finally did but he had to lower his expectations considerably. Best of luck to you.
[quote=CRASH9500]OK BlueEyes what would you like for me to verify? You already know what the profile says. I Mrs. Crash is not interested in playing. I will gladly give you my cell number so that you can speak with the female part of the equation to PROVE that the husband is not the one making the post. We use to have pictures on our profile, unfortunately there was a member who WAS NOT discreet that knew one of my family members and blabbed her Fing mouth to them. Caused a whole lot of drama for us. Another problem was ALL of the pictures posted were ONLY of me and my body parts. NOT exactly fair since I am not the one wanting to play. So me being the BITCH that I am removed ALL of the pictures from our profile and WILL NOT be allowing any of me ever to be posted again. I will gladly take picture of my man and let him post as many of those as he wants. I guess everyone interprets things differently, NOT ONCE was there ever any asking for a SYMPATHY FUCK, or "FUCK ME NOW" desperation, (although your profile screamed out FUCK ME NOW almost every other sentence. oh no wait it was fortheloveofjesus FUCK ME NOW)!!!!My husband is not a cheater, in fact if he was we wouldn't still be trying to get him hooked up with his fantasy. I have NO PROBLEM BEING PRESENT WHILE MY HUSBAND FULLFILLS HIS FANTASY, I said in my post I wanted a female to help me with the fantasy, help me please my man, and YES get a SHARE of the MEAT as you put it. I believed a threesome was part of the PROGRAM, and believe me sister that was my way of getting right to the meat of the program. I understand your reluctance to believe that a woman would want her man to have his fantasies without her getting anything in return. But honest to GOD I have no desire to be with anyone BUT my husband and do not feel like he should be deprived because we have different needs and wants in life. I love him enough to let him have his fantasy, but am not going to compromise myself or my ideals to do something I am not wired to do or want to do. I will gladly private message you my cell number so that you can call me. Just another little bit of information. We attended two events together,and I was uncomfortable the whole evening at both events. I encouraged my husband to flirt and take control of several conversations but to tell you the truth swapping PARTNERS was the main thing on ALL of their minds. A threesome just would not do as far as they were concerned. I have bought my husband numerous lap dances and call me crazy but it was exciting to me just to be able to watch my husband get excited. TOTALLY enough for me....So the thought of having a female in our bed helping to turn my husband on would probably send me climbing the walls. To take another of your lines...ENUF said!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here is a lesson!
First when you become friends on here it stays here.
2nd facebook is an open book....looks at friends list to see who is on it.
3rd That person is smarter then you gave him credit for and he figured something out on his own. He may not have known the true story.
4th Telling peep about family members on here is not the place. WE care less we have our own groove and never tell Vanillas anything. Just Saying....they dont really understand and care even less about telling them anything we do!
Not sure how you point fingers. I could care less what you two do and wow....would never do that.
Thought we severly talked this over and you apologized for accusing peeps of things they would never do. Because like him you jumped to a conclusion.....So guess you need validation.
Go swing away and be happy!!! Be one with the World if you want! Nuff said!!!
Here is a lesson!
First when you become friends on here it stays here.
2nd facebook is an open book....looks at friends list to see who is on it.
3rd That person is smarter then you gave him credit for and he figured something out on his own. He may not have known the true story.
4th Telling peep about family members on here is not the place. WE care less we have our own groove and never tell Vanillas anything. Just Saying....they dont really understand and care even less about telling them anything we do!
Not sure how you point fingers. I could care less what you two do and wow....would never do that.
Thought we severly talked this over and you apologized for accusing peeps of things they would never do. Because like him you jumped to a conclusion.....So guess you need validation.
Go swing away and be happy!!! Be one with the World if you want! Nuff said!!!
CRASH9500, Mrs. Sexperimentors has satisfied the fantasies for men your age and older (the oldest is approaching 80). It can happen, but you need to do your homework (pictures and profile content). Just so you don't feel alone, (if I did the searches properly and if the search engine is reasonably accurate) there are something like 1600 profiles on Swingular that are coupes where the male half is 60 or older looking for couples. There are nearly 3900 single women and couples where the female half is 50 or older (probably the age range you should be looking at) who are seeking a single male (no particular age). In other words, Evil, who's writing is often hilarious and from the hip (Mrs. Sexperimentors and I often chuckle or even belly laugh at his posts), doesn't fully and accurately describe your prospects.
I can tell you, though, that your approach MUST be different than the approach a younger person would take. I'd suggest that you get engaged in discussions with people in your age group, probably the 50's and 60's generation, unless your fantasy is age specific, like wanting to be with a 20 year old. Mrs. CRASH9500, you're going to need to support your husband by accompanying him to couples parties if you're serious about having his fantasies fulfilled, but you don't have to engage in the fun stuff if you don't want to (your loss!). I'd highly recommend engaging and getting to know a number of couples and then hosting a party in your home and getting to know these folks. Through your new relationships you will find people who are willing to help you in fulfilling your fantasies.
Best of luck to you and all of us older folks. We may have a little snow on the roof, but the fire's burning hot in the hearth.
Mr. Sexperimentors
I can tell you, though, that your approach MUST be different than the approach a younger person would take. I'd suggest that you get engaged in discussions with people in your age group, probably the 50's and 60's generation, unless your fantasy is age specific, like wanting to be with a 20 year old. Mrs. CRASH9500, you're going to need to support your husband by accompanying him to couples parties if you're serious about having his fantasies fulfilled, but you don't have to engage in the fun stuff if you don't want to (your loss!). I'd highly recommend engaging and getting to know a number of couples and then hosting a party in your home and getting to know these folks. Through your new relationships you will find people who are willing to help you in fulfilling your fantasies.
Best of luck to you and all of us older folks. We may have a little snow on the roof, but the fire's burning hot in the hearth.
Mr. Sexperimentors
As it was mentioned before, take some time to fill out your profile. I noticed that your post/replies on this forum has more content than your 'about us' and 'what we are looking for'. You can try posting what you said on here, so if/when people come across, they can see if they are looking for the same thing. A great way to meet people is to go to the events (both male/female), be social, and make some friends. Don't expect to post and instantly be fulfilled the next day.
CRASH9500 wrote:
Thanks for all the replys. Unfortunately we just haven't been party animals so that has been a problem and my husband does not flirt on here or try to get hookups. He is honest about our situation and that is why he changed our profile. So thanks and SugarandSpice I appreciate the answer from you too. He however is not down on himself he just has a fantasy or two he has just chosen to put the truthful answers on our (his actually) profile. Thanks again...........
He may want to try the chat room. Its a great way of meeting people without going to parties. Like ABC said, in most cases you need to make a personal connection first.
CB
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:HOTFIRELOVERS wrote:
Here is a lesson!First when you become friends on here it stays here.
2nd facebook is an open book....looks at friends list to see who is on it.
3rd That person is smarter then you gave him credit for and he figured something out on his own. He may not have known the true story. 4th Telling peep about family members on here is not the place. WE care less we have our own groove and never tell Vanillas anything. Just Saying....they dont really understand and care even less about telling them anything we do!
Not sure how you point fingers. I could care less what you two do and wow....would never do that.Thought we severly talked this over and you apologized for accusing peeps of things they would never do. Because like him you jumped to a conclusion.....So guess you need validation.Go swing away and be happy!!! Be one with the World if you want! Nuff said!!!
FWIW....I know you guys, have for several years, and would trust you all with my biggest deepest darkest secret and I will vouch for your integrity. Not sure the exact details but knowing you both as I do, I am just going to chalk somethings up to a complete coincidental misunderstanding
I <3 you J&S.
xox
T.
p.s. another good lesson for the general public. If you are FB friends with swing friends follow their lead on how to interact with them on fb. Not saying that people don't make mistakes, I did. I flirt regularly with a single male from swing that im friends with on fb and it's no big deal. One particular status he made, I responded with a very XXX offer. He was gracious about it,and even took me up on it. However the fact that his mother read it kinda freaked me out. Never even occured to me his family was on that particular fb profile. Lesson learned. I totally embarrassed myself and could of put him in an awkward position. Now I follow others leads. If there is ever a question of what's ok to say on there, perhaps try inboxing them a personal message if it's too suggestive or xxx for regular fb feeds. And if someone does go overboard on fb with something, just delete what they said and shoot them a message telling them you deleted it and why and ask they tone it down. A reasonable person will understand, apologize, and be careful in the future.
Again my 2 cents on the subject. Which is pretty worthless. LOL
I agree......AMEN! Note to people who want a low profile don't post on your facebook account all of your friends.....Hide your list if you are scared to have someone know.....never accept offers of party invites unless private. All these things help narrow down the odds of others finding out.
I have watched the path well and still get busted by someone I know rather on swingular or in life away from it.....someone is always watching.....Let them watch away!!!
Woot woot Hope you enjoy the show!!! YEEHAW!!
Thanks Sexperimentors, appreciate the input. Will send you a message sometime just to say hi...