So, we went to a House Party last week with another couple. When we got there the atmosphere was quite loose. Some people were drinking heavily and others just stood around and watched. The Mrs. was quite uncomfortable from the get go. We introduced our self
You are correct and your friends are wrong. No one has the right to require you to do anything you do not wish to do. Could it have been something else? If so your so called friends should explain.
Dont sweat the small stuff !!!!!! Its your choice to play or not ...... you dont need so called friends like that ....... Swinging is about having fun and feeling comfortable
Badboy8p
Badboy8p
the male half speaking am very reluctant to play at a party because its just a one night stand, i dont want a one night stand! I want a girlfriend, iam scoping for a girlfriend all the time, my wife also is wanting something more intimate, so it seems were different then most on here.
Playing at a party should never be required. In the beginning if we had been pressurred we might not have stuck around. I know we met the right people. There was no pressure and we went at our own pace. And look at us now lol.
Dont let anyone pressure you. Everyone moves at a different speed. There are some fantastic people in the lifestyle and I'm sure you will get to meet them.
Dont let anyone pressure you. Everyone moves at a different speed. There are some fantastic people in the lifestyle and I'm sure you will get to meet them.
SEEHERFULL wrote:
we have been to many house parties,we usually play with others but there are lots of people that dont.its always your choice and pressure is always a no no.everyone has their own thing,and some people just like to watch.your welcome at our parties even if you just sit there.
That is a terrible thing to pressure people to do ANYTHING, like SEEHERFULL said, u are welcome at our parties too, I (MRS) hardly ever play and there's no pressure here.
Lame friends...there are way better people to associate youselves with!!! Their loss...Move on, dont let it ruin the amazing experiences that are out there waiting for you!!!
We have met some different people in this lifestyle (mostly great)but I have to say we have never encountered a situation where we were expected to do any playing at any time.. If that is the reason for the unfortunate text then please understand that it is rare and not to sweat it..
Just like in life, we cannot judge a lifestyle by one event.. Good luck to you.
Just like in life, we cannot judge a lifestyle by one event.. Good luck to you.
Sweet! Now you know in no uncertain terms that the people you went the the party with are TOTAL fucktards (twatwaffles, ass clowns, douche canoes, etc.) and that you should avoid them at all costs in the future. Nice to find that out early on in a friendship rather than later when you're invested a lot of time, etc.
A little bit of introspection is always a good thing. Also, you're friends need to explain so there's a clear understanding.
Mr. Sexperimentors
Mr. Sexperimentors
AZWETNWILD wrote:
You're assuming the issue is you didn't play and that may have nothing to do with it. When people are "uncomfortable" they may upset the people around them, some people see it as drama. This is true in lots of different settings not just LL type settings.
I agree with AZ. Perhaps your unaccountability was seen by others as something else. You could have been in a posture or behavior that made other people assume and that may be the true issue. Or perhaps the couple that took you is acting butthurt that you didn't play with them personally. They could have inviting you thinking this meant they were gonna hook up and took your lack of play as a personal insult. Its not and nobody should require you to play at a party, but people tend to act that way sometimes.
A party should be just that and no expectations from anyone, the exception would be a theme party or you made a verbal agreement with someone and did not follow through.
I can only guess what kind of party you went to, I can tell you most are like clicks of some sort and all will be different, from the elite to the who gives a damn lets fuck.
Don't judge future experiences on this one or give up, take a look at yourselves and see if you made a mistake and if so correct it, it's a learning experience with good and bad, just remember you always go home with the good no matter what and everything will be just fine.
I can only guess what kind of party you went to, I can tell you most are like clicks of some sort and all will be different, from the elite to the who gives a damn lets fuck.
Don't judge future experiences on this one or give up, take a look at yourselves and see if you made a mistake and if so correct it, it's a learning experience with good and bad, just remember you always go home with the good no matter what and everything will be just fine.
At any event, to play or not to play is always the question....and ALWAYS your choice. I agree with the others that say live, learn and move on! Please don't make the mistake of judging the lifestyle by one, two or even multiple couples! There are assholes in every situation and you, unfortunately, accompanied two of the biggest ones to a house party! On the flip side, there are great people in every situation....hopefully you'll find them soon! Don't give up yet, they may be at the very next event you attend! Good luck in finding the good friends you so deserve.
Mrs. Randy
Mrs. Randy
BADBOY8P wrote:
Dont sweat the small stuff !!!!!! Its your choice to play or not ...... you dont need so called friends like that ....... Swinging is about having fun and feeling comfortable
Badboy8p
Amen, Brother.....hehehe....Just sayin!!!
PITMOMMY wrote:
the male half speaking am very reluctant to play at a party because its just a one night stand, i dont want a one night stand! I want a girlfriend, iam scoping for a girlfriend all the time, my wife also is wanting something more intimate, so it seems were different then most on here.
My feelings exactly (female half)
There are so many couples who are like you and some who are not like you at all. Just keep making progress in your own desires. There are so many parties and most would never make you do anything and if you wanted to watch.....that is just fine too. Just get back up on the horse and ride it like you own it!!! Move on to a new place of fun.....do not let the couple stop you on your fantasies....Just go on your own pace!!!
[quote=NEWBIES123]So, we went to a House Party last week with another couple. When we got there the atmosphere was quite loose. Some people were drinking heavily and others just stood around and watched. The Mrs. was quite uncomfortable from the get go. We introduced our self
[quote=NEWBIES123]So, we went to a House Party last week with another couple. When we got there the atmosphere was quite loose. Some people were drinking heavily and others just stood around and watched. The Mrs. was quite uncomfortable from the get go. We introduced our self
There are so many wonderful people I have meant and have never played with. I have been to some house partys and not played. It is my choice. WHo. what ,how and when and where.. we did alot of observation because we where new... I am glad we did. Thease poeple are not your friends if thats the way they are. Dont give up , there are alot of wonderful people to be friends with.
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:
Don't give up on house parties. Just on people who see you as human sex toys. (wait...is that a bad thing? lol)
xox
Tammy
(M) sounds like a good thing to me.
UTAHCOUPLE4PLAY wrote:BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:
Don't give up on house parties. Just on people who see you as human sex toys. (wait...is that a bad thing? lol)
xox
Tammy
(M) sounds like a good thing to me.
Mmmmmmm. Human sex toys! Mmmmmm
Sounds like someone was expecting more than you were willing to provide. We've only been to one house party. Never felt any pressure other than a guy that was stalking all the women. He made my wife (and probably others) uncomfortable and I heard he was asked to leave. For us, it probably wasn't the best way to to enter into the lifestyle, but each couple is different. We're still relatively new, yet have evolved greatly in the lifestyle and would be more comfortable now.
Find some new friends. We've met some really great people. We like to meet in a more two on two setting and if we feel comfortable, we'll do a party.
BTW, I should add that the hosts of the party were fantastic and gracious hosts, and the people (except for stalkerman) were very accepting of us newbies at the time!
Find some new friends. We've met some really great people. We like to meet in a more two on two setting and if we feel comfortable, we'll do a party.
BTW, I should add that the hosts of the party were fantastic and gracious hosts, and the people (except for stalkerman) were very accepting of us newbies at the time!
HFUN wrote:
There is someone for everyone .You just need to get out there and find them..
You guys are more than welcome to find us!
hello and i agree with hello kitty, they might have had the assumption that since they invited you that you were abligated to play with them, if the situation was uncomfortable for you then you did the right thing by not playing, its about fun and comfortable people to play with, they dont sound like the kind of friends we would want,