We don't like to play with strangers! We can't just meet somewhere and "get it on". We like to text, get to know you, trust you, hang out, and then if there's an attraction, maybe enjoy some girl'play, some male-bonding, and if everything is almost perfect, then "rock it side-by-side" as we "high-five" and please each other's wife, or even our OWN!!! Is there a fucking "art" to this shit? Isn't there a "line" that we all need to draw out of respect for the one's we love?
I'm sorry ... I totally missed whatever you typed due to that amazingly distracting photo! LOL
But in reality, I do agree with you ... I think the play is almost always enhanced with some social connection, from texting, to talking and chatting, to drinks/dinner/clubbing, etc. Seriously, sex is great, but if there's a genuine liking of all parties involved, it's fantastic ... and repeatable!
But in reality, I do agree with you ... I think the play is almost always enhanced with some social connection, from texting, to talking and chatting, to drinks/dinner/clubbing, etc. Seriously, sex is great, but if there's a genuine liking of all parties involved, it's fantastic ... and repeatable!
Its all about personal preference. Not a required "line" we are all required to have. We respect people's varying preferences and the way they like to play. Doesn't mean anybody has more or less respect due to that particular factor.
HELLO_KITTY12984 wrote:I totally agree Kitty. You've always been a wise and good yummy friend! Is it horrible that we don't wanna play if we don't have some kind of "emotional" or "common" bond with the people we meet? It's not just a "physical" game for us...it's a trust and commonality, and even a compatibility issue. We aren't very good at this whole "swinging" thing if you wanna "fuck me and forget me". We've only played 3 times in almost 4 years. Are we swingers, experimental, or just frigid??? We play with girls a lot, but it's a whole new world when we wanna jump into a 2X2.
Its all about personal preference. Not a required "line" we are all required to have. We respect people's varying preferences and the way they like to play. Doesn't mean anybody has more or less respect due to that particular factor.
Pebblerock it's not horrible at all. I believe what some people are saying is that it's all a personal choice. We are all wired differently and there is no right or wrong answer. It's all an individual choice. Just like some people are fine with one night stands and some are not.
The most important thing is that you do what is right for you and your partner. There are many people with the same opinion as yours and I am confident that nobody has an issue with your comfort levels.
The most important thing is that you do what is right for you and your partner. There are many people with the same opinion as yours and I am confident that nobody has an issue with your comfort levels.
Rock, I personally am right with you on this one. It isn
FREE123PLAY wrote:Thanks! It's not our very first rodeo, we're just gettin tired of being kicked in the stomach before we even "pull the rope" or get to meet the clown! It makes ya wanna "ease down" a bit more.
Pebblerock it's not horrible at all. I believe what some people are saying is that it's all a personal choice. We are all wired differently and there is no right or wrong answer. It's all an individual choice. Just like some people are fine with one night stands and some are not.
The most important thing is that you do what is right for you and your partner. There are many people with the same opinion as yours and I am confident that nobody has an issue with your comfort levels.
Nice bumm!!
I guess it's my shot...am I allowed to "jump"???
Thank you for the bumm compliment (lol).
I believe I understand what you are saying. We went to a few parties and met some really nice people. There were quite a few that were very nice and then when they saw that we were not ready just to jump into bed with them, they didn't really talk to us anymore and even quit emailing and texting. This does not offend us, because we do understand that a lot of couples don't want to waste their time with people like us who need more time to feel comfortable with another couple. We just take it as a personal choice.
My recommendation is not to get discouraged. We are certainly not experts on the topic, but from our limited understanding this is appears to be the process that people have to go through, until they meet up with couples or singles who make them feel comfortable and who are willing to take the time to build a relationship on some level.
I believe I understand what you are saying. We went to a few parties and met some really nice people. There were quite a few that were very nice and then when they saw that we were not ready just to jump into bed with them, they didn't really talk to us anymore and even quit emailing and texting. This does not offend us, because we do understand that a lot of couples don't want to waste their time with people like us who need more time to feel comfortable with another couple. We just take it as a personal choice.
My recommendation is not to get discouraged. We are certainly not experts on the topic, but from our limited understanding this is appears to be the process that people have to go through, until they meet up with couples or singles who make them feel comfortable and who are willing to take the time to build a relationship on some level.
All I know is, I want to shoot pool wherever that is!
Seriously though, we are very much the same. Lets have some conversation, build some rapport to make sure everyone is on the same page. This way, if/when it happens we can all focus on everyone just enjoying themselves instead of worrying whether their signature move is gonna work or not...lol
Seriously though, we are very much the same. Lets have some conversation, build some rapport to make sure everyone is on the same page. This way, if/when it happens we can all focus on everyone just enjoying themselves instead of worrying whether their signature move is gonna work or not...lol
HELLO_KITTY12984 wrote:
Its all about personal preference. Not a required "line" we are all required to have. We respect people's varying preferences and the way they like to play. Doesn't mean anybody has more or less respect due to that particular factor.
well said, kitty... we personally don't have a lot of time to maintain close friendships in the lifestyle. I mean, we don't object to making friends... in fact, we have made some great friends, but our careers and our families have to be our priority, so we probably don't keep in touch as often as we should.
Hey, who you callin' a shithead?
Some of us are on a quest to find deeper relationships than others may want to have. I know that doing this takes more time and effort than a quick jump into bed. But I firmly believe that it is worth the search. Simply let it be said that you are not alone in this if that is your goal.
One of the amazing things about this lifestyle is that it is open for each of us to choose to live it in our own way. There is no scoring system that makes you a better or worse swinger. But if you are open to affairs with other couples you are part of this lifestyle by definition and it does not really matter what other options or parameters you place on those relationships. You can make it a social club or a fuck club. The choice is yours.
When we have great sex at home there is often less need or desire to search for sex elsewhere. When you have lots of friends and family there is often less of a desire to find more. If you are a recluse or loner you may only want one night affairs. We are all free to choose.
One of the amazing things about this lifestyle is that it is open for each of us to choose to live it in our own way. There is no scoring system that makes you a better or worse swinger. But if you are open to affairs with other couples you are part of this lifestyle by definition and it does not really matter what other options or parameters you place on those relationships. You can make it a social club or a fuck club. The choice is yours.
When we have great sex at home there is often less need or desire to search for sex elsewhere. When you have lots of friends and family there is often less of a desire to find more. If you are a recluse or loner you may only want one night affairs. We are all free to choose.
We like to have a friendship as well. I, Mrs.Ac need that connection and love the flirting part!
I wish I had the answers but the questions are bigger then the answer........It's to big to make a complete diagnostic. hehe
ACC wrote:Let start flirting ....S&D
We like to have a friendship as well. I, Mrs.Ac need that connection and love the flirting part!
I the male half have never wanted a one night stand not even in highschool, to me its weird to play with someone and then have no relationship afterward. and anyway it takes me to long to find someone i like enough to play with,
Yes there is a line We are the exact same way. We will not play unless we get to know you a but first. We enjoy the friendship more than the sex. The lifestyle use to be like that but it has changed to a fuck feast it seems.
CANDJ23 wrote:HELLO_KITTY12984 wrote:
Its all about personal preference. Not a required "line" we are all required to have. We respect people's varying preferences and the way they like to play. Doesn't mean anybody has more or less respect due to that particular factor.
well said, kitty... we personally don't have a lot of time to maintain close friendships in the lifestyle. I mean, we don't object to making friends... in fact, we have made some great friends, but our careers and our families have to be our priority, so we probably don't keep in touch as often as we should.
We agree. We are very busy with our careers, but we have also made some great friends. We dont always have the time to keep in touch as much as we would like to.
We have a core group of friends that we like to hang with, but if we meet someone that catches our fancy, we're not opposed to playing the same night. I mean, this IS a swinger site after all. Why not get out and enjoy yourself? It doesnt mean you have to fuck everyone you meet, but we like to leave the option open if we like them.
We have a lot of organized activities planned for members of the lifestyle this year. We believe that everyone should be allowed to do or play as much, or little as they want.
The Puddlejumpers will be a busy group this year. Looking forward to it.
We probably aren't very good at this swinging thing either. We have posted on our profile that we are not into one night stands. Since posting it that way, we haven't gotten many contacts which is fine with us because that way we're not wasting anybody's time or ours. We've set our expectations and that's what we'll go by. And if we don't get much play time, that's ok with us. That's just our preference
Yes there is a line, both partners let each other know they are interesdted in playing, anything more than that your going to lessen your chances of fun. We have started play with someone in 15 minutes or were running backwards out the door in thirty seconds. We came here to play and not to make friends, although some great friendships evolved from it.
EVILDOERS wrote:OOPS did the heading say "Shithead's"? It was supposed to say "Buttbead's", cuz I meant it in the nicest playful way!...stupid fat fingers!
Hey, who you callin' a shithead?
We love relationships but hate moron's that call other people they don't know ugly names....
UTCPL4ALL wrote:It was only meant as a playful and silly heading. I didn't intend to offend anyone. I apologize if you took it that way. Just a pet name that we all use once in a while.
We love relationships but hate moron's that call other people they don't know ugly names....
That's ok, PEBBLE. Grover Norquist (I think he's a muppet, not quite sure) said Obama thought Mitt Romney was a "poopy head" so I'm thinking you also meant that as a term of endearment. Happy New Year to all you fucktarded twatwaffles in Swingular land! :-P
AKA? American Kennel Association? Evildoer...notary pubic extraordinaire.