I know how I want to deal with it but we need some advice, suggestions, comments on what we should do about this???
A couple contacted us to meet,we exchanger a number of email and phone # to confirm they are a couple. Arranged a meeting date time and place. Everything sounds good so far no red flags, we still have not meet yet. The Mr. of the couple has started to text and sext my Mrs at all different times of the day including at night when she is working NO she was not returning the texts. Remember we still have not meet!!! I think this is inappropriate and crossing a line, my Mrs didn't think it was to bad till last night when he was texting her at work with some very graphic pic and language, that can get her fired in a heart beat.
1.So should I tell him to just cool it till we meet
or
2.Tell him fuck you you blew it we don't want to meet any more do not contact us again ever
or
3.Call and set up an earlier meet and beet the shit out of him then tell him #2
ya ya I know this is a sex site and we are swingers blah blah blah
A couple contacted us to meet,we exchanger a number of email and phone # to confirm they are a couple. Arranged a meeting date time and place. Everything sounds good so far no red flags, we still have not meet yet. The Mr. of the couple has started to text and sext my Mrs at all different times of the day including at night when she is working NO she was not returning the texts. Remember we still have not meet!!! I think this is inappropriate and crossing a line, my Mrs didn't think it was to bad till last night when he was texting her at work with some very graphic pic and language, that can get her fired in a heart beat.
1.So should I tell him to just cool it till we meet
or
2.Tell him fuck you you blew it we don't want to meet any more do not contact us again ever
or
3.Call and set up an earlier meet and beet the shit out of him then tell him #2
ya ya I know this is a sex site and we are swingers blah blah blah
I am all about number 3 Bubba...
But I am old school, there's plenty of people I would prefer to beat the shit out of than to talk.
There's a line one just shouldn't cross with someone else's spouse....I have a HUGE thing for the Mrs, but I would NEVER, unless granted permission from you AND her, do such things. It is disrespectful of her, you, and your marriage.
I don't tolerate such things.
In order to avoid any sort of stay at the local Sheriff's Bed and Breakfast, I would possible do 2.......HOWEVER, if it continued after being told, number 3 is the final option, I could do the bologna sandwiches.
But I am old school, there's plenty of people I would prefer to beat the shit out of than to talk.
There's a line one just shouldn't cross with someone else's spouse....I have a HUGE thing for the Mrs, but I would NEVER, unless granted permission from you AND her, do such things. It is disrespectful of her, you, and your marriage.
I don't tolerate such things.
In order to avoid any sort of stay at the local Sheriff's Bed and Breakfast, I would possible do 2.......HOWEVER, if it continued after being told, number 3 is the final option, I could do the bologna sandwiches.
#2 because he is #2
We have had something similar happen so I don't give out the Mrs phone number...except to single females 
Some advice !!!! Dont give out your numbers ....... Just because you think what hes texting is wrong he probably thinks its ok so tell him to back off !!!!
No for 3 and modify 2. Tell him politely that he blew it and that you have decided not to continue a relationship.
It may feel good to piss someone off and tell them to f-off but doing may just make the problem worse. You do not want to fight with some crazy stalker etc.
Then go out and get both of you smart phones. They have programs that can block individual numbers completely. No text, no call, no pictures from that number. Then turn off GPS and WiFi for a while.
There is software that can track you once it has your phone number. It only needs the phone to be on and it will place your position within a minor distance. Cell tower searching will find you within say 1 mile and GPS within less than 100 feet.
It may feel good to piss someone off and tell them to f-off but doing may just make the problem worse. You do not want to fight with some crazy stalker etc.
Then go out and get both of you smart phones. They have programs that can block individual numbers completely. No text, no call, no pictures from that number. Then turn off GPS and WiFi for a while.
There is software that can track you once it has your phone number. It only needs the phone to be on and it will place your position within a minor distance. Cell tower searching will find you within say 1 mile and GPS within less than 100 feet.
I think if you (The Mr.) is saying there are "no red flags". I think you should gauge how you actually feel about it. It sounds like a bit of a "red flag" for you. You seem to be feeling disrespected and frustrated, because you posted it in the forum for advice, where you've written things that allude to it.
If you are still interested, but you feel that the pace is moving to quickly and too much for your comfort, tell your Mrs. first and foremost. Then just have her tell him to back off until you meet. You can also call and tell him. When you're all together, lay down the rules with them. If you feel that he's already shown you enough that he can't be trusted, then just end it and tell them you're not interested.
I think in the end, it all comes down to how you and your lady feel about it. Everyone here is different. If he's bothering your Mrs. with the constant contact, that would be a huge "red flag". I think you should gauge how YOU TWO feel and how much it is disrupting your lives and if YOU feel that it has ruined your perception. We don't like pushy and it's a deal breaker. Some people can tolerate more than others. It all boils down to personal preference. Everyone involved should be on board.
Sugarandspice have a great suggestion. There are apps for smartphones and you can also give out a google voice number that forwards to your phone. With google voice, you can block individual numbers, you can also have individual voice mail for different numbers. You can categorize your contacts and give them different voice mail etc. It an amazing little tool.
In the end, if it's still in your interest to hook-up with them. Make sure you meet both of them together as a couple and communicate your expectations. Make sure this guy is legit. There are a lot of posers out there. Good luck.
Don & Tara
If you are still interested, but you feel that the pace is moving to quickly and too much for your comfort, tell your Mrs. first and foremost. Then just have her tell him to back off until you meet. You can also call and tell him. When you're all together, lay down the rules with them. If you feel that he's already shown you enough that he can't be trusted, then just end it and tell them you're not interested.
I think in the end, it all comes down to how you and your lady feel about it. Everyone here is different. If he's bothering your Mrs. with the constant contact, that would be a huge "red flag". I think you should gauge how YOU TWO feel and how much it is disrupting your lives and if YOU feel that it has ruined your perception. We don't like pushy and it's a deal breaker. Some people can tolerate more than others. It all boils down to personal preference. Everyone involved should be on board.
Sugarandspice have a great suggestion. There are apps for smartphones and you can also give out a google voice number that forwards to your phone. With google voice, you can block individual numbers, you can also have individual voice mail for different numbers. You can categorize your contacts and give them different voice mail etc. It an amazing little tool.
In the end, if it's still in your interest to hook-up with them. Make sure you meet both of them together as a couple and communicate your expectations. Make sure this guy is legit. There are a lot of posers out there. Good luck.
Don & Tara
One big thing to point out.... You are at the right place in your relationship with the Mrs. as she is 100% honest with you about what this guy is saying/doing. That sort of trust and understanding is something to treasure and cultivate. No amount of extracurricular fun is worth spit if you don't have that with your wife... so, yes, I agree that you both need to tell said guy to back off, and I'd suggest that he is not going to change - making him not a viable contact for future fun... cut him off and move on.
He blew it in my opinion. And let them know what he did and we always ask or inform others what we exspect with numbers being exchanged and always respect others boundaries and rules. We have had guys and couples like that and they think they are already in our pants (mainly hers lol) but this is a huge red flag and deal breaker for us. Good luck!
We've only given the male number to the male number until we've met and actually hit it off. Then the female sides have exchanged numbers. I wouldn't even think of contacting the female side. I let my Mrs. contact the other Mrs. and I keep in contact with the Mr. No sexting.
That's just basic respect unless all parties agree to something different.
Just my humble opinion.
That's just basic respect unless all parties agree to something different.
Just my humble opinion.
Well, our experience in the past..... usually turns out to be just a mr. not a mrs..... something to think about. we Delete! Good luck to you both,R & C
We always use a Google Voice number for texting with people we don't know well. It avoids issues like you report because you can set up GV to not forward the texts.
A. You shouldn't give out numbers just to verify if they are real or not.
B. At the first sign of behavior you or your wife were not comfortable with you should have stated so.
We have had this same thing happen and learned from our mistake. If you set up a meet with the intent of beating the shit out of him, then you are only setting yourself up for a lengthy stay in a jail cell. Tell him he fucked up and blew it and to leave you alone. Let it end there. Don't be stupid and end up in handcuffs...
B. At the first sign of behavior you or your wife were not comfortable with you should have stated so.
We have had this same thing happen and learned from our mistake. If you set up a meet with the intent of beating the shit out of him, then you are only setting yourself up for a lengthy stay in a jail cell. Tell him he fucked up and blew it and to leave you alone. Let it end there. Don't be stupid and end up in handcuffs...
If she has not returned any of his texts or told him not to do something he may think there is nothing wrong with it.
To the couple sending the texts it may be nothing more than a "getting to know you" thing so that things can progress more quickly once you actually meet.
The best advice I can give is to just talk to him and let him know that the two of you don't do things like that. If you want to cancel the date then do so at that point. But remember, this may not be the first time they have done this and it may have been something that was very mutual in the past.
If he doesn't stop, then kick his ass.
To the couple sending the texts it may be nothing more than a "getting to know you" thing so that things can progress more quickly once you actually meet.
The best advice I can give is to just talk to him and let him know that the two of you don't do things like that. If you want to cancel the date then do so at that point. But remember, this may not be the first time they have done this and it may have been something that was very mutual in the past.
If he doesn't stop, then kick his ass.