We have chatted with a few people lately, and have noticed that there are a few people out there that can be a little selfish in the arena of the bedroom. I may be old fashioned, but is this becoming more acceptable nowadays? When we got in to the lifestyle we thought that it was about sharing these sexual experiences with different people, and not just dropping a load off in some new stranger...
When we find ourselves in a situation that play is an option we are pretty invested in the idea of making our potential partners happy with the results of that decision. Taking the time to make sure that they are getting as much enjoyment as you are. Of course, we also hope that the other parties would have a similar agenda in our pleasure, resulting in a mutually beneficial encounter that all can be pleased with.
So are we crazy? I realize we seem pretty ideological in how we view the lifestyle, and that not all will play by the same rules, but aren't we all supposed to have fun in this?
When we find ourselves in a situation that play is an option we are pretty invested in the idea of making our potential partners happy with the results of that decision. Taking the time to make sure that they are getting as much enjoyment as you are. Of course, we also hope that the other parties would have a similar agenda in our pleasure, resulting in a mutually beneficial encounter that all can be pleased with.
So are we crazy? I realize we seem pretty ideological in how we view the lifestyle, and that not all will play by the same rules, but aren't we all supposed to have fun in this?
If YOU are crazy - then so are we.
I don't think it's bad for me to want a man to take care of my wife when we play. She is very giving when it comes to play, and frankly she deserves to be appreciated for the beauty she is. I know that if I'm gonna make the effort to please a woman, that it'll come back around (giggle) to my pleasure.
well I hope I'm not the odd man out, part of playing for me is seeing the women satisfied, there is nothing better than see her have an orgasm, i guess i don't under stand why other men would't want to see that
A rule I set for myself long ago is the woman orgasms before I do not matter what. I enjoy seeing her glow after a great orgasm, and then it also builds to by own orgasm after and usually makes them cum again..
We're absolutely in your camp SpexDex...But...
Let's don't forget this world we are playing in (the internet)...where it is ok to ignore someone you speaks to you..just because they didn't follow your protocal for receiving email..or..just because you didn't like their looks..or because they aren't the same "class" of citizen you are...(and you all know what I mean)...or..simply...just because.
Where even your friends sometimes don't really feel compelled to let you know whether they will attend an event you've planned...or not. Where even a simple "sorry can't make it.. is just too much to expect, even when you ask for a response. Seems to be acceptable behavior here...
Am I surprised that even the common courtesy of trying to make sure a sexual partner is satisfied is sometimes ignored?
Sadly...nope.
Let's don't forget this world we are playing in (the internet)...where it is ok to ignore someone you speaks to you..just because they didn't follow your protocal for receiving email..or..just because you didn't like their looks..or because they aren't the same "class" of citizen you are...(and you all know what I mean)...or..simply...just because.
Where even your friends sometimes don't really feel compelled to let you know whether they will attend an event you've planned...or not. Where even a simple "sorry can't make it.. is just too much to expect, even when you ask for a response. Seems to be acceptable behavior here...
Am I surprised that even the common courtesy of trying to make sure a sexual partner is satisfied is sometimes ignored?
Sadly...nope.
Touch
[quote=SPEXDEX]Touch
[quote=SPEXDEX]Touch
Well I like the play to be as real as possible! 
TIFFND wrote:
Unfortunately...playing is often just an extension of THIS world, since in most cases, people don't want this world associated with their REAL world.
Were we real enough, and can we cum again?
UTAHCOUPLE4PLAY wrote:TIFFND wrote:
Unfortunately...playing is often just an extension of THIS world, since in most cases, people don't want this world associated with their REAL world.
Were we real enough, and can we cum again?
Ohhhh myyyy yessss! Would LOVE to see you cum again...hehehe
AGEDTOPERFECTION wrote:
We must agree, as a matter of fact we have just had this happen to us a couple of weeks ago.
A couple came over and everything clicked so we went to the play room.
After the Lady came twice and the husband once and my wife came once I was left out.
The ladys Husband even made the comment that I had not gotten-off and ask her if she was going to finish the detail,her responce was,oh she can do that, looking right at my wife.
Now what in the HELL? After they left our home my wife became enraged and demanded that I BLOCK this couple and never have anything to do with then again.How could I disagree with her?
I could not.So I did BLOCK this couple and we won't have anymore contact with them.
I mean WTF?
This is exactly what I'm talking about. I am proud enough to share my wife, and let others experience all she has to offer, it shouldn't be too much to ask to take care of her as well. She is one of the most attentive lovers I've ever known, so pay some respect! I consider it a privilege to be able to experience a other woman, and always do my best to make sure she is well taken care of!
TIFFND wrote:
We're absolutely in your camp SpexDex...But... Let's don't forget this world we are playing in (the internet)...
Some very good points. But I don
For a while.I was starting to think that I'm in a funk ans no one can get me of cause my life
Was out of balance or stressed or whatever
But I think your right.... people just don't take the time it takes.
Best pic I've seen says.
"You don't think foreplay is important?
Try sliding down a water slide with no water!"
Was out of balance or stressed or whatever
But I think your right.... people just don't take the time it takes.
Best pic I've seen says.
"You don't think foreplay is important?
Try sliding down a water slide with no water!"
AGEDTOPERFECTION wrote:
We must agree, as a matter of fact we have just had this happen to us a couple of weeks ago. A couple came over and everything clicked so we went to the play room. After the Lady came twice and the husband once and my wife came once I was left out. The ladys Husband even made the comment that I had not gotten-off and ask her if she was going to finish the detail,her responce was,oh she can do that, looking right at my wife. Now what in the HELL? After they left our home my wife became enraged and demanded that I BLOCK this couple and never have anything to do with then again.How could I disagree with her? I could not.So I did BLOCK this couple and we won't have anymore contact with them. I mean WTF?
Unfortunately, we had a similar incident happen only it was the guy who left my wife completely unsatisfied. From the minute they walked in our door he started asking "are we going to go play?" His poor wife really didn't seem into it, so we were reluctant until he got up to use the restroom. We candidly told her that if she's not feeling it, it wouldn't hurt our feelings if we didn't play. She perked up and said that she was ok, so when he came back and asked again if we were going to go play we moved the party to the bedroom. Once there, he spent a minute or two going down on the wife and then she returned the favor, but as soon as he was hard he slipped on a condom...meanwhile, I was still taking care of his wife and she had squirted a couple times and was going on orgasm 3 or 4 (my pants were still on because I was making sure that she was taken care of first.)...Once his condom was on he slid inside Reina and was done in a matter of a couple minutes. After he came, he was completely disinterested in taking care of my wife. Eventually I quit playing with his wife because he was just sitting there against the headboard...all put out because he couldn't get hard again and he wasn't willing to get my wife there.
Then....the icing on the cake was when Reina got a text from him the next day saying that we needed to just be friend because there was no "sexual chemistry." I would think that the big wet spots on my bed and floor showed there was some chemistry...and for someone who wasn't feeling chemistry, he was sure done in a hurry.
I guess everyone has the right to decide whether they did or didn't feel it.....but needless to say, we haven't bothered contacting them again...we don't need to play with couples that are that selfish...we both pride ourselves on taking care of our playmates and hope our playmates feel the same way!
- Papi (getting down off my soap box now.)
For centuries we have used uniforms to tell us and others who we are. We have made up social classes and complex rules of dress and possessions to determine how we interact with others and what our status is. Too often when a man takes off his clothes and puts on a rubber he seems to lack social training and thinks he is in a brothel. On the other hand some couples treat a single male like he is nothing but a warm dildo. I don
I have actually turned down invitations from VERY experienced swingers mindful and concerned about being fully able to play my part in accordance with what I imagine their standards might be and/or probably are. I would prefer, still, to play with less experienced people and learn the ropes, so to speak. One of my interests in pursuing this at all is to learn more about sexuality ... others' as well as my own.
[quote=SUGARSANDSPICE]For centuries we have used uniforms to tell us and others who we are. We have made up social classes and complex rules of dress and possessions to determine how we interact with others and what our status is. Too often when a man takes off his clothes and puts on a rubber he seems to lack social training and thinks he is in a brothel. On the other hand some couples treat a single male like he is nothing but a warm dildo. I don
SPINCAST wrote:
A rule I set for myself long ago is the woman orgasms before I do not matter what. I enjoy seeing her glow after a great orgasm, and then it also builds to by own orgasm after and usually makes them cum again..
Many more need to adopt this rule! It amazes me how many do not understand that it can take a woman more stimulation, time and "foreplay" to make her feel totally marvelous and fulfilled! They may have multiple children and still do not understand what makes a woman tick. We're sensual beings not just procreators!
Couples if you find or notice this happening maybe you ought to take a break from swinging and learn how to pleasure each other before disappointing another couple in the bedroom as well. And to the wam bam thankyou mame....quit being lazy and selfish. It's not all about you. We are in the lifestyle to have fun and enjoy sex mutually.
I keep hearing all of these stories and i realize how lucky we have been. We have been with lots of couples and every single experience has been one that is fullfilling and exciting. I havent experienced this selfishness that i have heard about from other people. Im glad for that. We have always viewed this lifestyle as being about giving not getting.
Its too bad that people are having these negative experiences.
Its too bad that people are having these negative experiences.
I think to be very realistic, we're all on here to have sex, or at least to think and dream about having sex, with other people. At the same time, a lot of us are interested, to one degree or another in making friends with whom we can do other things besides just sex. But, be honest, sex has a priority at some level or we'd be on some more vanilla site.
Yes, there are some people who are just interested in "dropping a load" but I can honestly say that I haven't run into hardly anyone who fits that description (one single guy at the Mansion). Maybe it's because we tend to hook up with folks who are a little more mature, both physically and emotionally. Once in a while we'll run into someone who's less experienced and needs to be taught, but that's rare. Once in a while we'll run into someone who is too shy to be aggressive enough to put significant effort into delivering pleasure, but that also is rare. Once in a while we'll run into someone who just doesn't have the stamina (age plays into that), but they tend to opt for other partner pleasuring activities as apposed to bowing out.
Mrs. Sexperimentors and I are very much into delivering pleasure as opposed to just taking it and I hope that shows to our partners. Mrs. Sexperimentors is damned good; I try to be. If you're not getting that from the folks you've been playing with, come play with us.
Mr. Sexperimentors
Yes, there are some people who are just interested in "dropping a load" but I can honestly say that I haven't run into hardly anyone who fits that description (one single guy at the Mansion). Maybe it's because we tend to hook up with folks who are a little more mature, both physically and emotionally. Once in a while we'll run into someone who's less experienced and needs to be taught, but that's rare. Once in a while we'll run into someone who is too shy to be aggressive enough to put significant effort into delivering pleasure, but that also is rare. Once in a while we'll run into someone who just doesn't have the stamina (age plays into that), but they tend to opt for other partner pleasuring activities as apposed to bowing out.
Mrs. Sexperimentors and I are very much into delivering pleasure as opposed to just taking it and I hope that shows to our partners. Mrs. Sexperimentors is damned good; I try to be. If you're not getting that from the folks you've been playing with, come play with us.
Mr. Sexperimentors