Have been married over 5 years. My wife has never been really sexual. I get sex about once every 3 months or so. I have never been able to touch her pussy, have had oral sex a handful of times, never received a blow job...etc. I don't quite know what to do. She gets cums then is pretty much done, it makes my cumming a lot less enjoyable. I am not quite sure what to do. I don't think I am terrible at sex, I can last 40-45 minutes, she cums hard when she does, it's just like she gets what she wants and is completely done. Any advice?
I come to this site because I figured it was full of swingers that have sex more than 4 times a year lol. I love my wife and am happy in everything in my marriage apart from the sexual side. I don't know if there is something I can do or of I am just screwed, not literally. I have tried foreplay and get shut down. We only have sex when she wants it. I try taking things off her plate at home, rub her feet, pamper her...etc hoping maybe she will want to please me more too. I feel selfish saying that but I LOVE sex and want to have some fun with it. Am I a terrible person? Sorry this is a site for swinging and fun and I feel like I am seeking a therapy session. LOL If anyone has some thoughts I would love to hear them 
I (the male half) went through something very similar with my exwife for a lot of years. Towards the end of the marriage, I found out she had been cheating on me the whole time. Im not saying this is what is happening, but it sure sounds familiar.
I cant tell you what to do other than try to talk to her. A marriage is supposed to be 50/50 in all things.
I cant tell you what to do other than try to talk to her. A marriage is supposed to be 50/50 in all things.
yeah I have tried talking, I don't think she is cheating (I hope not at least) whenever I talk it turns into an argument...I am worried its hopeless. I will have to check out his book, thanks!
Sounds way familiar.
Lol wowmama69 you aren't helping ha ha ha 
I have tried to get her to go to counseling...that's when the fighting starts. I try to be as sensitive to her wants/needs but it seems one sided. She gets off and is satisfied and couldn't care less about my needs. Good thing I have two hands I guess
Does she know your on this site as a single male ??? Some woman just dont like sex that much and I feel for ya !!!! Once every three months omg my penis would fall off ........ I would be checking in on what she does all day sounds she might a boy toy ....... Hope the best for ya ..
Badboy
Badboy
There isn't an option on here for a married guy whose wife doesn't want to join. I joined for the free week and will cancel after that. Just thought I would hear some of your opinions.
If she honestly won't sit down with you and talk about it and won't consider counseling you pretty much only have two choices. Stick it out or end it. Only you can decide which path is best for you but at your young age being sexually incompatible with your partner for the rest of your life seems like a really harsh way to go through life. I know quite a few people who are in your situation especially here in Utah where pre-marital sex is forbidden for those in the predominent religion. They get married hoping for a good sex life and find they are physically incompatible. Best of luck to you in your decision.
great food for thought myohmy! I am in a tough spot because she really is my best friend. We have a child to consider too. I do not want to tear things apart because I am not happy sexually but I also do not want to cheat on my wife and that's where I am about to go. I can't get it at home so I may as well go elsewhere is what keeps coming up in my head. I do not want to be that guy but I do have a greater understanding for why some guys do cheat. I am glad I really have no one else to talk to so I am glad you all have been so kind and willing to offer your advice.
I once heard Dr. Suzie from sex talk late at night. She often had females call in who loved their husbands but sex was painful. Its not easy to talk about sex when you are brought up to not talk about it. So not sure where your lovely wife is coming from but could be many things that make her do the things she does. Are you two always busy with kids and working. Maybe she cums just thinking about sex. Masterbating helps many men fullfill the fast need. I know it feels lonely but you must have started doing that at 12 or somewhere along the line.
If you truely love this women then you will figure it out. If she is controlling then maybe you are seeing it that way instead of really understanding it. If she was cheating I am sure she would have a little more sex then you say. Just assuming but could be wrong....Not enough info...All you said is you are not getting enough. I think any man would say they would want more even if its 3 times a day every week. They would still want more its part of the males way of responding to a women. In the end the womens sexuality will just by sheer beauty already be dominate to the arousal of the male. So we can keep looking at this in many veiws and really its in her head. Its also in your head how much you think you need. So lets put your heads together cause I am sure there is more at sake then just your sex life. I am sure you have a whole world wrapped up in your lives together. Mating pairs dont have to mate everyday to keep connected. Maybe find a hobby then she might get jealous and try to make you look her way.....Just try it!!!
Sara Hotfire!!!
If you truely love this women then you will figure it out. If she is controlling then maybe you are seeing it that way instead of really understanding it. If she was cheating I am sure she would have a little more sex then you say. Just assuming but could be wrong....Not enough info...All you said is you are not getting enough. I think any man would say they would want more even if its 3 times a day every week. They would still want more its part of the males way of responding to a women. In the end the womens sexuality will just by sheer beauty already be dominate to the arousal of the male. So we can keep looking at this in many veiws and really its in her head. Its also in your head how much you think you need. So lets put your heads together cause I am sure there is more at sake then just your sex life. I am sure you have a whole world wrapped up in your lives together. Mating pairs dont have to mate everyday to keep connected. Maybe find a hobby then she might get jealous and try to make you look her way.....Just try it!!!
Sara Hotfire!!!
I would say with info given sounds like my ex-wife and I. That's the last thing I hope for you but it does! After we stopped having sex but for once or twice a month I thought it was because we had been together so long, turns out she had changed and I was still who I was. She had started cheating with people that understood who she had become. She didn't realy talk to me about what she wanted because she knew my personality and that we'd never see eye to eye but at the same time thought she would be able to keep it together of our kid. I ended up talking to friends and the guys next door just to find out there was a guy we were friends with that was over when I was at work alot. Then her girl friend told me what was up out of pity. Might be something to try I hope you get a diferant outcome.
Mr.
Mr.
Ok. I spent far too many years in your situation and can only speak from that place. What I am going to say will piss a lot of people on here off, but I always say what I think. Ask yourself: Am I willing to spend the next 40 years of life in my current state? In life we must choose what we will or will not put up with.
We spend a lot of our married life trying to make the other happy because we love them. But love is not equal and does not solve all things. Each couple has different needs, wants, and desires. Some times they do not match and never will. We can make ourselves miserable trying to solve a problem that the other half does not see as a problem and will not change their attitude. Then the marriage becomes a prison of our own choosing. It is not an easy path to walk and the marriage is one sided and never really a happy one.
If she will not allow you both to seek help and find a common ground solution, then get out of the relationship. Divorce is an option. It may not be a good one but sometimes it is the only way for both of you to find happiness. The truth is that she may never want more sex than she does now. In the long run her reasons do not matter. If sex is important to you and not to her then that relationship may never change. You are both young enough to find happiness elsewhere and maybe the next time around you will do a better job of finding the right person. This I also know from experience.
We spend a lot of our married life trying to make the other happy because we love them. But love is not equal and does not solve all things. Each couple has different needs, wants, and desires. Some times they do not match and never will. We can make ourselves miserable trying to solve a problem that the other half does not see as a problem and will not change their attitude. Then the marriage becomes a prison of our own choosing. It is not an easy path to walk and the marriage is one sided and never really a happy one.
If she will not allow you both to seek help and find a common ground solution, then get out of the relationship. Divorce is an option. It may not be a good one but sometimes it is the only way for both of you to find happiness. The truth is that she may never want more sex than she does now. In the long run her reasons do not matter. If sex is important to you and not to her then that relationship may never change. You are both young enough to find happiness elsewhere and maybe the next time around you will do a better job of finding the right person. This I also know from experience.
I will try talking to her again, I sure hope she isn't cheating. I don't think that is it though I will have to see what the deal is. The hormone inbalance suggestions I have heard sound fair and somewhat right. who knows. I am walking a fine line. I do not want a divorce I would just like some loving everything now and then
I will have to see what the deal is. The hormone inbalance suggestions I have heard sound fair and somewhat right. who knows. I am walking a fine line. I do not want a divorce I would just like some loving everything now and then BADGIRL8P wrote:\\
Does she know your on this site as a single male ??? Some woman just dont like sex that much and I feel for ya !!!! Once every three months omg my penis would fall off ........ I would be checking in on what she does all day sounds she might a boy toy ....... Hope the best for ya .. Badboy
Badgirl has a penis. I don't think so. I know for a fact she does not.
CB
Seriously though. let her know that this is very important issue for you and you ask her to find a time when she is ready to discuss it. This does not put her on the spot at the time and gives her a little bit of preparation. Hopefully she can find the courage to discuss it for your family's sake.
Get some good sound legal advice about divorce.
Try everything you can to get some counseling together or independently.
Find a proper place for a medical evaluation and hormone profile. In my opinion an osteopathic doctors or nurse practitioners who specialize in women's health issue tend to put more thought into evaluating and prescribing hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Properly manage HRT can greatly improve your life, improperly prescribed it can put you on a roller coaster ride to hell.
If the counseling and HRT don't work out consider the options your divorce lawyer gave you.
Bob
Try everything you can to get some counseling together or independently.
Find a proper place for a medical evaluation and hormone profile. In my opinion an osteopathic doctors or nurse practitioners who specialize in women's health issue tend to put more thought into evaluating and prescribing hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Properly manage HRT can greatly improve your life, improperly prescribed it can put you on a roller coaster ride to hell.
If the counseling and HRT don't work out consider the options your divorce lawyer gave you.
Bob
maybe sit down with her and simply say we either work this out or we go our seperate ways. there really are people that do not like sex,of both genders
SUGARSANDSPICE wrote:
Ok. I spent far too many years in your situation and can only speak from that place. What I am going to say will piss a lot of people on here off, but I always say what I think. Ask yourself: Am I willing to spend the next 40 years of life in my current state? In life we must choose what we will or will not put up with.
We spend a lot of our married life trying to make the other happy because we love them. But love is not equal and does not solve all things. Each couple has different needs, wants, and desires. Some times they do not match and never will. We can make ourselves miserable trying to solve a problem that the other half does not see as a problem and will not change their attitude. Then the marriage becomes a prison of our own choosing. It is not an easy path to walk and the marriage is one sided and never really a happy one.
If she will not allow you both to seek help and find a common ground solution, then get out of the relationship. Divorce is an option. It may not be a good one but sometimes it is the only way for both of you to find happiness. The truth is that she may never want more sex than she does now. In the long run her reasons do not matter. If sex is important to you and not to her then that relationship may never change. You are both young enough to find happiness elsewhere and maybe the next time around you will do a better job of finding the right person. This I also know from experience.
Put me (male) down for a vote in the NOT pissed off column.
Agree 100%.
I'm a single male that doesn't get that much sex, but you want to know the truth? Right now, I'd rather be in my situation than yours.
If she's not willing to get counseling, you should probably seek advice from at least one, if not several, different marriage counselors about your situation.
If she's not willing to get counseling, you should probably seek advice from at least one, if not several, different marriage counselors about your situation.
(M) Been there. First 15 yrs of marriage my left hand was my best friend when it came to sex.
But at the time we had a lot going on. 16 hour work days, kids, bills and pressure. That and an X of hers that cheated and lied every chance he got she couldn't get over and trust me.
But once things settled down and life's pressures eased things changed. Within about a year we we were fucking each other every night and friends when we got the chance.
So maybe your just not seeing what the problem is. One thing the lifestyle taught us is communication, talking about anything and not criticizing the other. Don't know if that helps just our story.
One question, does she know about your profile on here and if so does she approve of it.
But at the time we had a lot going on. 16 hour work days, kids, bills and pressure. That and an X of hers that cheated and lied every chance he got she couldn't get over and trust me.
But once things settled down and life's pressures eased things changed. Within about a year we we were fucking each other every night and friends when we got the chance.
So maybe your just not seeing what the problem is. One thing the lifestyle taught us is communication, talking about anything and not criticizing the other. Don't know if that helps just our story.
One question, does she know about your profile on here and if so does she approve of it.
OK... I'm going to stand on my medical soapbox for a minute, so every just bare with me. I used to work in an OB/GYN clinic (yes, I'm a nurse, and no we really DON'T wear those sexy little outfits you see at halloween ). I have seen lots of stories similar to yours. So, here are a few questions that you may want to either ask her or watch her to find out the answer.
1- Is she tired almost all the time? Does she tire easily? Does she need naps during the day just to keep going?
2- Has there been rapid weight gain in the last year or so? Or has there been weight fluctuations that outside of normal protocols (5-10 lbs a month)?
3- How long ago did this start? Was it before the birth of your child, during pregnancy, or after? Was it gradual or come on suddenly?
4- Has she complained of hot flashes, or times when she sweats a lot with no real reason for sweating?
5- Has she had a significant hair loss in the last few months?
6- Is she on any medications that could have a sexual side effect (you may have to look up each drug to see if it does, or call the pharmacy about them)?
There are lots of reasons that a women who seemed to enjoy sex would want to be less sexually active. I can't give you answers until a physical and mental work up have been done. I'm just giving you some questions to ask that might shed some light on any issue that she may not know that she has. There are a ton of medical conditions that can cause sexual side effects, so figuring out if one of those are the problem might be helpful.
I would also suggest sitting in a quiet place and writing a list of things that you would like to ask her. Phrase them in a way that is not confrontational, and that will get a conversation going without her feeling like you are picking on her. We all get defensive when we think the other person is picking on things that are one of our faults. Be compassionate, loving, kind and considerate to her. Maybe write a list of all the things about her that you love. Remind her often of the things you love about her. Not only physical things, but things she does that make you feel loved.
Talk to your child in a very general way and explain that every relationship has it's problems. If the child is really young- like under 2- you may not be able to. But if you can, explain that you are trying to work on things, and that you still love each other no matter what happens. If you can keep it under wraps, that would be better, but if they have noticed a problem, they need reassurance as well.
DO NOT under any circumstance step out of the marriage until you have resolved this!! That will only make things worse, and will make her resent both the marriage and you. Do not talk to other girls alone. Be respectful to your vows. Remember that she is a person who may be hurting in some way. It won't help that hurt to cheat. If things don't work out, at least you could say that you were faithful and honest with her.
If you are religious, talk to your leaders about the problem. They may have insight that you never thought of. I know it can be hard to talk about things like this with someone like that, but you never know where you will get good advice. I know that some churches offer counseling for their members. Maybe she would feel better about going if it's kept within her religious circle.
Last but not least, remember who she was when you first met her. Remind her of those things. Bring up times that were wonderful for both of you, not sex, but other times. Try and make some new memories with her. Take her out and pamper her. Show her she is still beautiful in your eyes. Give her a bit of fantasy to lean on when there are rough days. Us women are emotional creatures. As such, we need a lot of emotional stimulation to make us happy. Ask her in subtle ways what she would really like. Would it be a trip somewhere, or maybe a new style (not just hair, but clothes and everything else)? Is there something she is lacking, or think she is lacking, that you can give her? It can be hard to pinpoint reasons, but with some thought it can all work out. Best of luck to you!!
). I have seen lots of stories similar to yours. So, here are a few questions that you may want to either ask her or watch her to find out the answer. 1- Is she tired almost all the time? Does she tire easily? Does she need naps during the day just to keep going?
2- Has there been rapid weight gain in the last year or so? Or has there been weight fluctuations that outside of normal protocols (5-10 lbs a month)?
3- How long ago did this start? Was it before the birth of your child, during pregnancy, or after? Was it gradual or come on suddenly?
4- Has she complained of hot flashes, or times when she sweats a lot with no real reason for sweating?
5- Has she had a significant hair loss in the last few months?
6- Is she on any medications that could have a sexual side effect (you may have to look up each drug to see if it does, or call the pharmacy about them)?
There are lots of reasons that a women who seemed to enjoy sex would want to be less sexually active. I can't give you answers until a physical and mental work up have been done. I'm just giving you some questions to ask that might shed some light on any issue that she may not know that she has. There are a ton of medical conditions that can cause sexual side effects, so figuring out if one of those are the problem might be helpful.
I would also suggest sitting in a quiet place and writing a list of things that you would like to ask her. Phrase them in a way that is not confrontational, and that will get a conversation going without her feeling like you are picking on her. We all get defensive when we think the other person is picking on things that are one of our faults. Be compassionate, loving, kind and considerate to her. Maybe write a list of all the things about her that you love. Remind her often of the things you love about her. Not only physical things, but things she does that make you feel loved.
Talk to your child in a very general way and explain that every relationship has it's problems. If the child is really young- like under 2- you may not be able to. But if you can, explain that you are trying to work on things, and that you still love each other no matter what happens. If you can keep it under wraps, that would be better, but if they have noticed a problem, they need reassurance as well.
DO NOT under any circumstance step out of the marriage until you have resolved this!! That will only make things worse, and will make her resent both the marriage and you. Do not talk to other girls alone. Be respectful to your vows. Remember that she is a person who may be hurting in some way. It won't help that hurt to cheat. If things don't work out, at least you could say that you were faithful and honest with her.
If you are religious, talk to your leaders about the problem. They may have insight that you never thought of. I know it can be hard to talk about things like this with someone like that, but you never know where you will get good advice. I know that some churches offer counseling for their members. Maybe she would feel better about going if it's kept within her religious circle.
Last but not least, remember who she was when you first met her. Remind her of those things. Bring up times that were wonderful for both of you, not sex, but other times. Try and make some new memories with her. Take her out and pamper her. Show her she is still beautiful in your eyes. Give her a bit of fantasy to lean on when there are rough days. Us women are emotional creatures. As such, we need a lot of emotional stimulation to make us happy. Ask her in subtle ways what she would really like. Would it be a trip somewhere, or maybe a new style (not just hair, but clothes and everything else)? Is there something she is lacking, or think she is lacking, that you can give her? It can be hard to pinpoint reasons, but with some thought it can all work out. Best of luck to you!!
GIMMEGIMMEMJ wrote:
OK... I'm going to stand on my medical soapbox for a minute, so every just bare with me. I used to work in an OB/GYN clinic (yes, I'm a nurse, and no we really DON'T wear those sexy little outfits you see at halloween
No wonder my fantasies always revolve around a nurse. They always seem to have what you need at the right time, makes up for any sexy outfits.
Thanks for all of the advice everyone! It's nice to have someone to at least vent to a little. I really don't have anyone else that I can go to with this issue. It's something that I have just been dealing with. So it's a relief to get it off of my chest. I have a lot of things to think about/try. I really do love my wife and I believe she loves me too. I am 99% sure there is no cheating going on. The hormone in-balance seems to fit the mold. Like I said, it's been a great relief to at least talk to someone about it. I unfortunately have fantasies and desires that have been kept inside, hopefully one day my wife starts wanting to please me as well and wants sex more. Like I said though, it is nice to be able to openly talk! so thanks again for the help everyone!
[/quote]
No wonder my fantasies always revolve around a nurse. They always seem to have what you need at the right time, makes up for any sexy outfits.[/quote]
Thanks!!! I can be just a sexy in scrubs as I can in one of those skimpy outfits, plus, there is more to take off that way.
No wonder my fantasies always revolve around a nurse. They always seem to have what you need at the right time, makes up for any sexy outfits.[/quote]
Thanks!!! I can be just a sexy in scrubs as I can in one of those skimpy outfits, plus, there is more to take off that way
.OK there is shit missing here, your on this site asking for advice but not a swinger, your wife does not know about it and if she did would probably give you less than you get now, all you keep saying is me me me. Where is the I give her flowers, take her to dinner, tell her how sexy she looks, you have not said one positive thing about her on this thread, do you see a pattern here.
Sorry I'm not biting on this one, if you gave a shit about your marriage she would be here with you. There is no reason for you here looking for advice without her. In my eyes what you are doing is a form of cheating. Your talking about the most sacred part of a marriage with complete strangers who's morals you haven't begun to understand. Any shrink would tell you we don't know what the hell we are talking about.
My advice is you get your ass up off the pity pot and take a real hard look at what you have done to spark some passion into your relationship besides laying there expecting her to come around to your way of thinking, A good fuck nasty or intimate takes 2 who are willing to please each other swingers or not.
Show some real balls and bring your wife here so she can air your dirty laundry. I will bet my next fuck that her opinion is nothing like yours.
Sorry I'm not biting on this one, if you gave a shit about your marriage she would be here with you. There is no reason for you here looking for advice without her. In my eyes what you are doing is a form of cheating. Your talking about the most sacred part of a marriage with complete strangers who's morals you haven't begun to understand. Any shrink would tell you we don't know what the hell we are talking about.
My advice is you get your ass up off the pity pot and take a real hard look at what you have done to spark some passion into your relationship besides laying there expecting her to come around to your way of thinking, A good fuck nasty or intimate takes 2 who are willing to please each other swingers or not.
Show some real balls and bring your wife here so she can air your dirty laundry. I will bet my next fuck that her opinion is nothing like yours.
ANDRAYWAY_SHANAYNAY wrote:
I just have to say it amazes me how judgmental swingers can be... you would think from the outside looking in that they wouldn't be.
Not judging just yet, I do that and make a fool of myself more than I want to admit. But in this case I am trying to see something real..
Have you considered he might be a single male posing as married? We have seen that a few times over the years. My point is there is no one to validate him or his story. When we have differences of opinions or ask for advice on the site we recognize who we are talking about and can respect or have some faith in what they are saying.
I believe if your going to talk about a specific person in a negative way on a forum they should have the right to see it and defend themselves.
Lol what benefit do I have posing? why would I need to lie about it?
utahcouple4play maybe talk to me and ask me these things before you act like a jack ass! if I brought my wife here she would probably divorce me. I also mentioned some of the things I have been doing. I am sorry that I have not gotten into every little detail to help your little brain understand. I do the flowers, I try the passion, I take care of the kid...maybe next time be classy about things and ask me before calling me out. Believe what you want but c'mon don't be such an ass...
utahcouple4play maybe talk to me and ask me these things before you act like a jack ass! if I brought my wife here she would probably divorce me. I also mentioned some of the things I have been doing. I am sorry that I have not gotten into every little detail to help your little brain understand. I do the flowers, I try the passion, I take care of the kid...maybe next time be classy about things and ask me before calling me out. Believe what you want but c'mon don't be such an ass...
I also love my wife..she is the most wonderful person in the world. The only negative thing I have said is that she isn't into sex...it's not like I am here telling you all that she is the most horrible person in the world. I have also stuck up for here with the cheating thing. I am giving her the benefit of the doubt. BTW these are all things I have tried talking to her about.
Perhaps you ar being too good,, she may be wanting a dominant (get my beer, and put supper on table)type personality,, she may see you as weak, or maybe she just never has learned that marriage/relationship/sex is a shared thing,, gotta care how the other feels/thinks,, what they need or want.... most of all,,LISTEN,, to both spoken words, an actions
I am not quite sure where cheating comes in for me. I didnt come here to cheat. If i did i wouldnt be posting something like this... but This has been perfect. I got what I came for. Thanks again!
Last question. My membership expires the 17th it says. How do I cancel my account?
Any good psychologist will tell you that they have to talk to both of you before they can begin to help. Therefore, no one here can tell you how to fix the problem or if there is a fix.
If she is wired that way, then she is not broken. She is just wired differently than you and that probably will not change. It all boils down to having complete honesty and through conversations with your wife. Both of you must be willing to accept that the problem exists and want to change or fix it. Only the two of you can determine the cause of your problem or if there is one that you can agree on.
When problems arise there are only three things anyone can do.
1. Determine what the problem really is.
2. Find a solution.
3. Live with the problem.
If you can not solve your problem between the two of you then you will most likely self-destruct the relationship in this or other ways.
If she is wired that way, then she is not broken. She is just wired differently than you and that probably will not change. It all boils down to having complete honesty and through conversations with your wife. Both of you must be willing to accept that the problem exists and want to change or fix it. Only the two of you can determine the cause of your problem or if there is one that you can agree on.
When problems arise there are only three things anyone can do.
1. Determine what the problem really is.
2. Find a solution.
3. Live with the problem.
If you can not solve your problem between the two of you then you will most likely self-destruct the relationship in this or other ways.
OK I do apologize for begin such a hard ass, but sometimes you need to sit down and say what is my part in this. What can I do to fix it and maybe she will come around. There was a time when my wife was going through a rough time and it affected me. To the point where I blamed her for ruining our relationship and my life, I tried everything I knew how to fix it with the same results, nothing changed. It wasn't until I looked for help to fix her that I found out she did not need to be fixed it was me. I was shown a different way to look at things and deal with them, once I started doing that our relationship did a 360 for the better.
Look, no marriage is perfect, there are always highs and lows but I learned that any situation no matter how bad can be made better if you put your mind to it. You always read on profiles that couples have no drama, well bull shit, read our profile and see what I have learned from my best friend.
Don't delete your profile just yet but bag this thread, you won't even get 2 people to agree on the same solution for you.
So instead of waisting any more time with us know it alls, there is some great information on the home page bottom left boxes, maybe that will show you how to start that spark I mentioned. Then start a new thread and tell us what you learned. One thing and most don't even know it, there is one paragraph that states the woman is always in charge in swinging, if guys understood that and lived by it we would all get laid more often. I really wish you good luck because I had my turn where you are now and remember it well, but keep an open mind and find your faults, try talking to her about that and see how it goes.
Look, no marriage is perfect, there are always highs and lows but I learned that any situation no matter how bad can be made better if you put your mind to it. You always read on profiles that couples have no drama, well bull shit, read our profile and see what I have learned from my best friend.
Don't delete your profile just yet but bag this thread, you won't even get 2 people to agree on the same solution for you.
So instead of waisting any more time with us know it alls, there is some great information on the home page bottom left boxes, maybe that will show you how to start that spark I mentioned. Then start a new thread and tell us what you learned. One thing and most don't even know it, there is one paragraph that states the woman is always in charge in swinging, if guys understood that and lived by it we would all get laid more often. I really wish you good luck because I had my turn where you are now and remember it well, but keep an open mind and find your faults, try talking to her about that and see how it goes.
You mentioned you have a child, so it's possible she feels differently about her body, has had hormone changes or other physical changes, and there's also the possibility she's just plain tired. Plan a date night with a hotel room or grandparents who can take your child overnight or even for the weekend. Talk openly out of the bedroom about your feelings, your needs, your desires. Be open and honest. Getting your needs met somewhere else will destroy not only your relationship with her but also with your child & your extended family & friends. Cheating will hurt your self worth and will impact every aspect of your life. I hope you are able to reconnect with your wife and wish you the best.
You mentioned you have a child, so it's possible she feels differently about her body, has had hormone changes or other physical changes, and there's also the possibility she's just plain tired. Plan a date night with a hotel room or grandparents who can take your child overnight or even for the weekend. Talk openly out of the bedroom about your feelings, your needs, your desires. Be open and honest. Getting your needs met somewhere else will destroy not only your relationship with her but also with your child & your extended family & friends. Cheating will hurt your self worth and will impact every aspect of your life. I hope you are able to reconnect with your wife and wish you the best.
Here is the outcome:
1: I am not going to get a divorce (unless my wife is cheating on me, even then I would consider talking to her about, maybe we would get into the swinger lifestyle lol) I love my wife too much for everything other than sex. She may not be the horniest and it blows (not literally)! But when it comes down to it I would take the 4 times a year and my hand to be with her.
2: I realize that there are 2 sides to every story. From talking to my wife there are many factors, time, responsibilities, stress..etc that play into us not have sex often. Maybe she has issues with hormones, I didn't think that could have affected her sex drive but maybe its what does. I will be sympathetic to it and hope that one day she will be open to talking to someone and looking for maybe some type of a fix.
3: I also realize that there are many things that I can do as a husband to help. I try to do many of those things just to be a good husband, I have added even more to try and be a better husband with the hopes of increasing her sex drive.
I really do appreciate you all and hope that I can find more friends like you. It feels so much better just getting it off of my chest. I can't tell these things to my everyday friends for various reasons. Most of them are family or know my wife too well. So thanks again, I think that's a wrap with this post
1: I am not going to get a divorce (unless my wife is cheating on me, even then I would consider talking to her about, maybe we would get into the swinger lifestyle lol) I love my wife too much for everything other than sex. She may not be the horniest and it blows (not literally)! But when it comes down to it I would take the 4 times a year and my hand to be with her.
2: I realize that there are 2 sides to every story. From talking to my wife there are many factors, time, responsibilities, stress..etc that play into us not have sex often. Maybe she has issues with hormones, I didn't think that could have affected her sex drive but maybe its what does. I will be sympathetic to it and hope that one day she will be open to talking to someone and looking for maybe some type of a fix.
3: I also realize that there are many things that I can do as a husband to help. I try to do many of those things just to be a good husband, I have added even more to try and be a better husband with the hopes of increasing her sex drive.
I really do appreciate you all and hope that I can find more friends like you. It feels so much better just getting it off of my chest. I can't tell these things to my everyday friends for various reasons. Most of them are family or know my wife too well. So thanks again, I think that's a wrap with this post
Vote: OK I do apologize for begin such a hard ass, but sometimes you need to sit down and say what is my part in this. What can I do to fix it and maybe she will come around. There was a time when my wife was going through a rough time and it affected me. To the point where I blamed her for ruining our relationship and my life, I tried everything I knew how to fix it with the same results, nothing changed. It wasn't until I looked for help to fix her that I found out she did not need to be fixed it was me. I was shown a different way to look at things and deal with them, once I started doing that our relationship did a 360 for the better.
Look, no marriage is perfect, there are always highs and lows but I learned that any situation no matter how bad can be made better if you put your mind to it. You always read on profiles that couples have no drama, well bull shit, read our profile and see what I have learned from my best friend.
Don't delete your profile just yet but bag this thread, you won't even get 2 people to agree on the same solution for you.
So instead of waisting any more time with us know it alls, there is some great information on the home page bottom left boxes, maybe that will show you how to start that spark I mentioned. Then start a new thread and tell us what you learned. One thing and most don't even know it, there is one paragraph that states the woman is always in charge in swinging, if guys understood that and lived by it we would all get laid more often. I really wish you good luck because I had my turn where you are now and remember it well, but keep an open mind and find your faults, try talking to her about that and see how it goes.
Look, no marriage is perfect, there are always highs and lows but I learned that any situation no matter how bad can be made better if you put your mind to it. You always read on profiles that couples have no drama, well bull shit, read our profile and see what I have learned from my best friend.
Don't delete your profile just yet but bag this thread, you won't even get 2 people to agree on the same solution for you.
So instead of waisting any more time with us know it alls, there is some great information on the home page bottom left boxes, maybe that will show you how to start that spark I mentioned. Then start a new thread and tell us what you learned. One thing and most don't even know it, there is one paragraph that states the woman is always in charge in swinging, if guys understood that and lived by it we would all get laid more often. I really wish you good luck because I had my turn where you are now and remember it well, but keep an open mind and find your faults, try talking to her about that and see how it goes.
Sorry you are hard and parinoid about cheating and maried males and I dont consider this a waste of time if you do dont read and respond
Seek professional help with her. No one here is qualified to give you proper advice. Not trying to blast others, sounds like a bunch of people here have good intention. I too am included in the unqualified to give proper advice other than to tell you to go to a pro. There is also something missing here as well. In order for anyone, including a professional to help, your wife needs to tell her side. We're all going off of what you say alone. There could be factors here that you don't even know about. Some that you may not even wanna hear. Good luck!
Don
Don
I HAD TROUBLE RELATING TO YOUR SITUATION SINCE WE HAVE SEX ON AVERAGE ONCE A DAY. BUT I CAN SAY ONE THING THAT SPARKED OUR FLAME WAS MY WIFE WORKING AT THE CHEETAH IN POMPANO. SHE WOULD COME HOME AT 3 IN THE MORNING AND WE HAD THE HOTEST SEX EVER.