i am looking for advice on playing alone. My wife and i have been interested in the lifestyle for awhile but have stayed mostly in the fantasy part of it we have played with another couple a few times and she has played with a single man while i watched. now she is interested in playing with a guy she works with they have kissed and flirted but nothing more yet. she wants to play with him alone until they get comfortable and then see if he is open to a mfm we are just not sure how to set the guidelines etc. any advice or opinions would be very appreciated thanks.
why not start by both of you giving your lady the time of her life and if things get comfy letting them play alone.
i would love that but she wants to play alone first she says she feels more comfortable that way it,s kind of hard but i don't want to be pushy
discuss rules and boundaries and then go from there. if you want to veto it, don't be afraid to. i eliminate any males that "require" solo play before they "think about" an mfm. the few times we tried that route, it never merged into an mfm. the male never would join the two of us. so we stopped doing that.
now if you're into trying out a hallpass, i suppose go for it. but remember, if it later makes either party uncomfortable/unhappy... don't be afraid to veto it. and in this lifestyle, vetos should be respected or it tends to get messy.
now if you're into trying out a hallpass, i suppose go for it. but remember, if it later makes either party uncomfortable/unhappy... don't be afraid to veto it. and in this lifestyle, vetos should be respected or it tends to get messy.
HELLO_KITTY12984 wrote:Thank you for the advice i don't want to veto it i completely trust her but i think the hall pass might be the way to go. because you are right it does not feel like the mfm is where this is headed
discuss rules and boundaries and then go from there. if you want to veto it, don't be afraid to. i eliminate any males that "require" solo play before they "think about" an mfm. the few times we tried that route, it never merged into an mfm. the male never would join the two of us. so we stopped doing that.
now if you're into trying out a hallpass, i suppose go for it. but remember, if it later makes either party uncomfortable/unhappy... don't be afraid to veto it. and in this lifestyle, vetos should be respected or it tends to get messy.
I see it as dangerous.
I don
I don
So I would echo SUGAR's concern. Multiple reasons...first we play separate and it is not a big deal so I am not biased against it. What I do worry about is what is this guy thinking? Does he have ulterior motives? Have you met him? Does he understand his role? How secure is your relationship?
My suggestion before bringing vanilla singles into the mix is to do the hall pass thing very safely. If she really wants to play alone with a guy I suggest a) find a lifestyle single male who gets it or b) a married lifestyle guy who gets it.
Either way, being that this is new for you, I would stay away from the single vanillas for a while. ANd understand this, him fucking your wife alone is never going to make him comfortable with you being there, all it will do is get him comfortable fucking your wife. Single Vanillas are interesting they get clingy and emotional (male and female) and can seriously disrupt a otherwise solid relationship. If a single vanilla is interested, it is a 100% requirement they meet the spouse and understand the situation 110%
My suggestion before bringing vanilla singles into the mix is to do the hall pass thing very safely. If she really wants to play alone with a guy I suggest a) find a lifestyle single male who gets it or b) a married lifestyle guy who gets it.
Either way, being that this is new for you, I would stay away from the single vanillas for a while. ANd understand this, him fucking your wife alone is never going to make him comfortable with you being there, all it will do is get him comfortable fucking your wife. Single Vanillas are interesting they get clingy and emotional (male and female) and can seriously disrupt a otherwise solid relationship. If a single vanilla is interested, it is a 100% requirement they meet the spouse and understand the situation 110%
If the co-worker isn't aware up front that you and your wife are swingers, then her playing with him is NOT Lifestyle related.
It's adultery.
If the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn't YOU want to know that YOU were part of an experiment?
If - and I repeat IF - I were sleazy enough to fuck a married co worker, and then later be invited to play with her and the hubby, I'd tell them BOTH to fuck off.
For crying out loud, people - isn't there still some degree of integrity involved in being in the Lifestyle?
It's adultery.
If the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn't YOU want to know that YOU were part of an experiment?
If - and I repeat IF - I were sleazy enough to fuck a married co worker, and then later be invited to play with her and the hubby, I'd tell them BOTH to fuck off.
For crying out loud, people - isn't there still some degree of integrity involved in being in the Lifestyle?
Yeah, not a good idea from our viewpoint. Like others have said, mixing work and play (sexual play anyway) is a recipe for disaster. Add to that the fact that this guy likely has NO clue about lifestyle relationships and interactions and he is HIGHLY likely to misinterpret her sexual interest in him as something more than just sex. We've been doing this a LONG time and have seen a lot of problems when people start thinking vanillas will react to casual sex the way lifestylers do. Our advice would be to say no. And it's especially not a good idea for her first solo experience. JMO
So you think some vanilla guy will be willing to bang your wife and then let you into the party at some point. The odds are better than the lottery but not by much.
Let me give you some information about the average supposed single male from my experience on AFF. I spent a couple of years running a gangbang fantasy group for women. I sent out email inviting men from Provo to Ogden to join the group. Only 4 out of 100 were even interested in the concept of 1 woman and several men. Not even that many were interested in actually meeting with me to discuss the group. I would set up appointments and they would not even show up.
So I would give you odds of about 2 in 125. It is a real long shot sir.
Let me give you some information about the average supposed single male from my experience on AFF. I spent a couple of years running a gangbang fantasy group for women. I sent out email inviting men from Provo to Ogden to join the group. Only 4 out of 100 were even interested in the concept of 1 woman and several men. Not even that many were interested in actually meeting with me to discuss the group. I would set up appointments and they would not even show up.
So I would give you odds of about 2 in 125. It is a real long shot sir.
off the subject
How does a person post from this location. [b]You are here: Main
How does a person post from this location. [b]You are here: Main
We go to events together, but have been known to play seperately while at the same function.
A hall pass doesnt work for either of us. It can lead to all kinds of feelings that can cause problems. Even tho we both have our favorites to play with, playing alone has the potential of creating problems. Its not something we are willing to do.
At least if we are both at the same function and an issue arises, I am there to handle it.
A hall pass doesnt work for either of us. It can lead to all kinds of feelings that can cause problems. Even tho we both have our favorites to play with, playing alone has the potential of creating problems. Its not something we are willing to do.
At least if we are both at the same function and an issue arises, I am there to handle it.
I play alone all the time and now I'm going blind just like my mom said I would. :-(
Thank you everyone for your input. I never really considered his motive because i do trust my wife fully but it is very true that mixing work and sex leaves to many opportunities for things to go bad. I have met him and he does know that we swing but i believe he sees this as more of a thing between her and him. i was just wanting to let her have the fantasy she wants but you all raise very valid points and i appreciate it
Well of course you do. Next time you'll learn to use a condom. In the mean time avoid sex and spray a little Windex on it. If that doesn't help I hear Bob Welti is going to do a telethon for people like you. Don't give up hope! I'll shave my pubes and wear a flesh colored "ribbon" pin on my merkin in solidarity and support. Maybe I'll even run a 5k or something.
Mixing work with the lifestyle can have a serious bite! Whether male or female. If they aren't in the lifestyle and you or her works with them, always remember that if that work relationship were to ever go bad. There can be serious repercussions! People can be vindictive and such things as this can ruin careers and more. I would say STAY AWAY! But in the end sounds like you both have your heart... or other areas set on it... So good luck, honestly hope it doesn't bite back!
Let her have her fantasy. Pleanty of opertunity in the lifestyle.
So it's settled. We hook Ms. MILK up with a sixer of Guinness and let her shag "Hot Rod" Hundley. Is it weird that writing that gave me half a chubby?
Don't shit in your own backyard.. Never ever mix work and play. Never!
Even as a single male this one raises red flags. I'm single but if I were in a marriage/committed thing, I'd be wanting to share all those fun times I was having with my spouse not excluding them. If a hall pass situation occurred I'd be wanting go tell them the full penthouse version or get one from them depending on who got the pass. I believe as I think many do that swinging for couples is a sharing thing. Not one gets the fun and the other sits home. It tends to lead to secrets which leads to lies, and that leads to loss of trust which will destroy a relationship.
Just my take on it.
Just my take on it.
PIERCEDPLEASURES wrote:
Don't shit in your own backyard.. Never ever mix work and play. Never!
We have the agreement to play alone also. But, never with co-workers. Her working relationship will be very awkward afterwards. Just keep him in the fantasy realm. We make sure the other always knows everything and find it fun to relive the experiences together.
Hope this helps.
Hi, MILKLADY81 its ok to let your wife play by herself, if thats up to you. butsometimes the guy thinks he can call on her anytime, that can be a bitch. So if you want them to play alone fine as long as you are in the same house. you dont have to watch, as lone as you are there. That will let him know, you will always be there if it gets out of hand. the next room,or down staris. so you can hear what happening. Thats a turn on too for you. Just hearing them play!!! then both of you can be happy. GOODLUCK