So this just happened to us recently and we have it very clearly explained in our profile that we hate it when people cancel at the lat minute. Life does happen and we understand but sometimes it is worth sharing so people are cautious of others and aren't led on. but, you can use your own judgement. so here's the texting after an email giving some info on each other and wanting to meet:
THEM: meet tomorrow US: yes we can meet tomorrow, where? THEM: do you have any xxx pics US: no we don't post any xxx pics we are more interested in personality then looks. where would you like to meet. dinner maybe. THEM: we will call you. can you entertain US: no THEM: ok we can. can you send body pics. do you still want to play? US: we said yes before and we normally don't change our minds. so where to meet? THEM: still don't know. wife want to see pics of both of you with clothes on ok. (there are full body pics in profile) US: photos are current. how about chili's chuckorama or golden corral. THEM: chilis is ok , I will have to talk to wife not home yet, at what time? US: 730 dinner THEM: No dinner for us just drink or two we don't drink much (text is as written) wife said yes but no commintment only if we click k US: of course no commitment only if we click. ok chilis is at 668 s 400e THEM: is she bi? mine is Is she bi? mine is is she bi? US: not at all. THEM: well we are not a match then sorry mine is very bi
We replied that we felt very disrespected, led on, and they should of been upfront from the beginning. if anyone doesn't want this kind of stuff happen to them I can let you know the call name. any comments?
THEM: meet tomorrow US: yes we can meet tomorrow, where? THEM: do you have any xxx pics US: no we don't post any xxx pics we are more interested in personality then looks. where would you like to meet. dinner maybe. THEM: we will call you. can you entertain US: no THEM: ok we can. can you send body pics. do you still want to play? US: we said yes before and we normally don't change our minds. so where to meet? THEM: still don't know. wife want to see pics of both of you with clothes on ok. (there are full body pics in profile) US: photos are current. how about chili's chuckorama or golden corral. THEM: chilis is ok , I will have to talk to wife not home yet, at what time? US: 730 dinner THEM: No dinner for us just drink or two we don't drink much (text is as written) wife said yes but no commintment only if we click k US: of course no commitment only if we click. ok chilis is at 668 s 400e THEM: is she bi? mine is Is she bi? mine is is she bi? US: not at all. THEM: well we are not a match then sorry mine is very bi
We replied that we felt very disrespected, led on, and they should of been upfront from the beginning. if anyone doesn't want this kind of stuff happen to them I can let you know the call name. any comments?
I understand your frustration, the post was informative. But frankly I find it extremely tastless to post your conversations with them.
and also to advertise that you will expose them to those that would like to know. It seems to me your ego was bruised.
This defiantly speaks as lack of class. We would never do such a thing and hope many others read this and find it as apauling as we do.
and also to advertise that you will expose them to those that would like to know. It seems to me your ego was bruised.
This defiantly speaks as lack of class. We would never do such a thing and hope many others read this and find it as apauling as we do.
we don't make it a habbit of posting private conversations but we are as many of you are so fed up with people who flake on you. we appreciate everyones comments and opinions but we stand firmly that if you insinuate that you want to meet someone get it together and meet them otherwise don't lead people on. especially after emailing several times back and forth and text many many more times and all you get is not compatible. it would of been more rude to have posted their call name which we didn't. but this post is more for those people who just aren't up front and say heres what we are into if you don't fit our needs then move on. we read their profile and they said they play with couples and they say nothing about playing mostly with very bi women otherwise we would of not pursued it. but again if it says bi it means they play with guys too otherwise they would be posting she is lesbian and only plays with her husband. anyway this happened over several days of wasting your time and they don't even give you a chance to meet you. thats all. no strings attached no sex just be respectful enough to meet those that put a genuine effort to meet others. for those that know us we are always appreciative when you let us know who to be cautious about one way or another.
Shit happens.
It happened to you.
Didja learn anything?
Good - now move on.
Their loss.
It happened to you.
Didja learn anything?
Good - now move on.
Their loss.
Lets not take one thing and call it another. They didn't cancel on you. More so informed you they have a specific preference. Would you have preferd they not tell you and stand you up? Out better yet waste your night and get your hopes up?
We are glad that you posted this and to know you "stand by it", this gives
us as a couple a better informed Desition never to "friend" you.
Call it what it is, your ego was hurt. Simple add that.
We are glad that you posted this and to know you "stand by it", this gives
us as a couple a better informed Desition never to "friend" you.
Call it what it is, your ego was hurt. Simple add that.
PUCHAS wrote:
we don't make it a habbit of posting priate conversations but we are as many of you are so fed up with people who flake on you. we appreciate everyones comments and opinions but we stand firmly that if you insinuate that you want to meet someone get it together and meet them otherwise don't lead people on. especially after emailing several times back and forth and text many many more times and all you get is not compatible. it would of been more rude to have posted their call name which we didn't. but this post is more for those people who just aren't up front and say heres what we are into if you don't fit our needs then move on. we read their profile and they said they play with couples and they say nothing about playing mostly with very bi women otherwise we would of not pursued it. but again if it says bi it means they play with guys too otherwise they would be posting she is lesbian and only plays with her husband. anyway this happened over several days of wasting your time and they don't even give you a chance to meet you. thats all. no strings attached no sex just be respectful enough to meet those that put a genuine effort to meet others. for those that know us we are always appreciative when you let us know who to be cautious about one way or another.
And here is a closing thought, it is people like you two the reason we never under any circumstances send nude pics that expose our face. You have been so eager to plaster conversations via the net. What else are you capable of? Same on you, this truly is a disgusting example of piss poor confidentiality.
Sounds to me like a single male posing as a couple and trying to collect pics. This is not to bash single men. For those that think it wrong to post conversation, just consider how many times you have told some one what another has said and how many folks you have told. I am sure each and everyone of you if asked would tell some one that a person/couple are no good. At least they will only give the name in private so I don't see a problem.
Just plan on communicating more next time. Emails written on a computer work best. then on a phone and texts are the worst for communicating. And dont forget us guys are handicapped in the communication dept and then as this guy did he had to then get in touch with the wife and back to you. Sometimes it is easy to overlook the bi thing since 90% fall in that category a straight person can be overlooked.. We have done that. I think as a straight person you should make that clear up front being the minority.
Reading just the "Them" side of the messages that guy was not very good at communicating and you should have taken a more cautious stand. He did however ask for more pictures 3 times or so.
IF we have to ask more than twice for pictures we bail. Our shortened Date checklist.
1 make sure we have similar play styles in several detailed longish emails or texts. This step is Very important since we are a super minority softer side couple.
2 If we agree that we found a compatible play style and still enough interest exchange more pics to see if you really do want to meet.
3 set up a date no expectations.
Reading just the "Them" side of the messages that guy was not very good at communicating and you should have taken a more cautious stand. He did however ask for more pictures 3 times or so.
IF we have to ask more than twice for pictures we bail. Our shortened Date checklist.
1 make sure we have similar play styles in several detailed longish emails or texts. This step is Very important since we are a super minority softer side couple.
2 If we agree that we found a compatible play style and still enough interest exchange more pics to see if you really do want to meet.
3 set up a date no expectations.
To me it sounded like another sleazy male looking for pics or to set up something and hope he could get his wife or girlfriend to go along with it. A simple rule like no sex on first meeting and no nude pics up front will usually cut a conversation short for that type.
As far as repeating the conversation there is nothing in the text that identifies either one or the other. And if you tell me that you do not compare notes with others and talk about some couple or individual then I know you are full of shit. I have worked in too many offices over the years and listened to people talk about someone else.
As far as repeating the conversation there is nothing in the text that identifies either one or the other. And if you tell me that you do not compare notes with others and talk about some couple or individual then I know you are full of shit. I have worked in too many offices over the years and listened to people talk about someone else.
HIGHWAY1 wrote:
Sounds to me like a single male posing as a couple and trying to collect pics. This is not to bash single men. For those that think it wrong to post conversation, just consider how many times you have told some one what another has said and how many folks you have told. I am sure each and everyone of you if asked would tell some one that a person/couple are no good. At least they will only give the name in private so I don't see a problem.
ALWAYS a possibility.
Also possible they're just azzholes.
two words...web cam! let everybody see everybody before you agree to meet, then you know if there is general attraction and you know that everyone is already on board with the plans!
this isnt 2001 folks, use the tools you already have at your fingertips to make this a better experience!
our two cents, always works for us.
this isnt 2001 folks, use the tools you already have at your fingertips to make this a better experience!
our two cents, always works for us.
Not knowing the complete story your setting yourself up for ridicule you don't deserve. We understand what your talking about and how frustrated you are. But if you go so far as naming names and posting mail without permission it makes you look worse than them even though you have good intentions. We were recently invited to hook up with a couple for the second time, drove 120 miles and when we arrived our text and calls went unanswered so it can happen at any time. We have learned to take the good with the bad and try to learn form our experiences.
As far as repeating the conversation there is nothing in the text that identifies either one or the other. And if you tell me that you do not compare notes with others and talk about some couple or individual then I know you are full of shit. I have worked in too many offices over the years and listened to people talk about someone else.
I'm pretty sure we all have made this mistake at one time or another, a few drinks with some friends at a party and there is always talk, so do we throw these guys under the bus or hope they learn from it?
WHITECOCOCPL wrote:
That is the reason why you plan things out.... If it were easy to just jump into things the everyone would be doing it ... Good things come to those who wait...
Ditto. All good things worth having are worth waiting for....;-)
As to the convo being posted, I understand why you posted it...I think leaving the name off was fine, but offering to give it out not so much. The fact that they turned you down is ego bruising but move on, and I'm sure someone out there will be eager to meet up and have fun. Not everyone here is someone's cup of tea. As much as I get chased/hit on/stalked and etc, I also have been rejected for a myriad of reasons. This is a sex site. Their reason for rejecting me is THEIR issue, not mine. I appreciate when someone tells me that we aren't,, for what ever reason not a good match up front. Saves time, money, and feelings.
As to canceling in general, there are still good reasons to do it. Sometimes personal life (family, job, etc) gets in the way, or hell, even a flu bug. If they cancel once but want to reschedule, fine. If they cancel and don't offer a reschedule or make it a habit of flaking out, then you know that they don't respect you or your time. Move forward and don't look back.
Of course that being said...I was forced to wait a whole year for someone....~snicker~ Next time I'm guessing I won't be waiting.....
Tammy
except for a couple of you that took this personally and definitely don't want to hook up you don't need to worry. we want to thank those who it has happened to and do give us sound advice instead of bashing us. there is plenty of wisdom here that we can learn from. thank you.
JANDA14 wrote:
I understand your frustration, the post was informative. But frankly I find it extremely tastless to post your conversations with them.
and also to advertise that you will expose them to those that would like to know. It seems to me your ego was bruised.
This defiantly speaks as lack of class. We would never do such a thing and hope many others read this and find it as apauling as we do.
So agree and its sad when people do this!
PUCHAS wrote:
So this just happened to us recently and we have it very clearly explained in our profile that we hate it when people cancel at the lat minute. Life does happen and we understand but sometimes it is worth sharing so people are cautious of others and aren't led on. but, you can use your own judgement. so here's the texting after an email giving some info on each other and wanting to meet:
THEM: meet tomorrow US: yes we can meet tomorrow, where? THEM: do you have any xxx pics US: no we don't post any xxx pics we are more interested in personality then looks. where would you like to meet. dinner maybe. THEM: we will call you. can you entertain US: no THEM: ok we can. can you send body pics. do you still want to play? US: we said yes before and we normally don't change our minds. so where to meet? THEM: still don't know. wife want to see pics of both of you with clothes on ok. (there are full body pics in profile) US: photos are current. how about chili's chuckorama or golden corral. THEM: chilis is ok , I will have to talk to wife not home yet, at what time? US: 730 dinner THEM: No dinner for us just drink or two we don't drink much (text is as written) wife said yes but no commintment only if we click k US: of course no commitment only if we click. ok chilis is at 668 s 400e THEM: is she bi? mine is Is she bi? mine is is she bi? US: not at all. THEM: well we are not a match then sorry mine is very bi
We replied that we felt very disrespected, led on, and they should of been upfront from the beginning. if anyone doesn't want this kind of stuff happen to them I can let you know the call name. any comments?
I'd say you two are hard to pass up too! You guys are very respectful, and it sucks that we all have these kind of experiences.
well flakes happen alot here, We have had the "period" excuse at least 5 times, the wife is sick, something came up, or just ignored...so im not sure if it is just males posing as couples to get pics, or people are scared or what.. We have learned it happens, now when we make plans i dont get hopes up til it actually happens... And never pay for hotel room til they are there HAHA!!! but shit happens in life...and there are some real, and cool people on here who are down for alot of naughtiness! Just takes a while to find...
Unless we our selves are perfect we need to give others the benefit of forgiveness.
I understand that this world of ours is full of stress and last minute crises. When I was 15 if found out that stress can change a woman
I understand that this world of ours is full of stress and last minute crises. When I was 15 if found out that stress can change a woman
How about being told at the last minute "something came up" only to find them place and add on Craigslist about the same time. A simple "no thank you" and we would understand. We are not for everyone and everyone is not a match with us. Wait the dog ate our only condom.... lol
Or the last minute cancellation only to hear a couple days later from the friends that they bailed on you for.... Always makes for good time, and great conversations...