It's a common practice (and something I often even recommend) to block single males from contacting you; particularly as newbies to the swinging lifestyle. So when I see booty calls posted seeking single guys while simultaneously blocking them, I generally make one of the following assumptions:
1) Forgot to uncheck the box for single males when posting
2) Forgot that they had single males blocked
Either way, I simply accept it as "it is what it is" and go about my merry way.
A thought occurred to me today though, and found some resonance: What if the booty call is an empty gesture?
Any of us with some time participating in the lifestyle have come across couples where one or both of the members were jealous and/or possessive. A number of these relationships have been discovered to be the controlling or abusive type. A typical mechanism of abuse is the farcical demonstration of freedom to a world that wants nothing to do with you. That way you never consider leaving, because you know you'd have no where to go, or that no one would want you.
I find myself honestly wondering if this is ever the case? If it is, then how often?
What do the rest of you think?
1) Forgot to uncheck the box for single males when posting
2) Forgot that they had single males blocked
Either way, I simply accept it as "it is what it is" and go about my merry way.
A thought occurred to me today though, and found some resonance: What if the booty call is an empty gesture?
Any of us with some time participating in the lifestyle have come across couples where one or both of the members were jealous and/or possessive. A number of these relationships have been discovered to be the controlling or abusive type. A typical mechanism of abuse is the farcical demonstration of freedom to a world that wants nothing to do with you. That way you never consider leaving, because you know you'd have no where to go, or that no one would want you.
I find myself honestly wondering if this is ever the case? If it is, then how often?
What do the rest of you think?
In yet another twist of irony..............
Before Geekgirl and I connected, I spent about 13 years in the Lifestyle as a Single Male.
The vast majority of the couples I played with had NO SINGLE MALES in their profile.
When I asked them why the contradiction, they said it was so their friends wouldn't know they play with single males.
I guess cavorting with a Leper isn't really so bad - as long as "friends" don't find out.
OH, and by the way: 90% of the time, they approached me first.
Before Geekgirl and I connected, I spent about 13 years in the Lifestyle as a Single Male.
The vast majority of the couples I played with had NO SINGLE MALES in their profile.
When I asked them why the contradiction, they said it was so their friends wouldn't know they play with single males.
I guess cavorting with a Leper isn't really so bad - as long as "friends" don't find out.
OH, and by the way: 90% of the time, they approached me first.
In my somewhat less than humble opinion, the reason some couples block single makes and still play with them is that they want to be selective. Before we blocked single males we got all kinds of messages and friend requests, to the point that it was annoying. We don't play with single males, but I know some couples do and can see how they would want to be in control of the first contact.
Mr. Sexperimentors
Mr. Sexperimentors
One thing couples need to realize is that if they block SMs, we can't e-mail them. That sounds logical but when they contact us, we have no way of replying to their e-mail. We are not ignoring them, just trapped by the system. FYI
I concur with CarrierMan's last statement as well.
Mav
I concur with CarrierMan's last statement as well.
Mav
Personally I think the dichotomy is far less nefarious. Most couples who block single males likely just do not want to put up with the constant deluge of unsolicited emails from SM's. They aren't necessarily averse to playing with them, they simply want to pick the time and place of doing so. Witness the amount of profiles that explicitly state the desire for single males not to contact them but "we'll contact you" if we want a single male. As for the conundrum of SM's not being able to write back if all SM's are blocked I think many people may be unaware of that. I could be wrong but after many years in the swinging trenches that's how I read it. We've never had any friends or acquaintances even remotely allude to the fact that they didn't want anyone to find out that they played on occasion with single males. They just wanted to pick the timing, and of course the gentleman. I'm sure many (especially single guys) see quite the double standard as far as they are concerned within the lifestyle but they have to realize that the lifestyle is mostly a couples driven activity. If it weren't so it would basically just be hooking up, right?
EVILDOERS wrote:
Witness the amount of profiles that explicitly state the desire for single males not to contact them but "we'll contact you" if we want a single male.
OK, that covers #1 - a few others follow:
#2. The check's in the mail.
#3. It's only a cold sore.
#4. I won't cum in your mouth.
#5. Etc.
#6. Etc.
Well, maybe not.
But I think "we'll contact you" is often put into a profile merely as a rhetorical comment.
It gives the SM a false sense of security. "HEY - MAYBE THEY'LL EMAIL ME ASKING ME TO COME FUCK THEIR BRAINS OUT - ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WAIT" (humming the Jeopardy theme).
uh huh
In this particular case I'm not referring to blocking single males in general, but to the act of blocking single males and then creating a booty call asking only for single males (who can't actually contact you because they're blocked)
I could be wrong but I think if they have single males blocked but still write you that you can reply you just can't initiate the emails...
Well let's state the obvious. There is the 10% who dog the wife and are rude. In general those 10% don't recognize or show respect to my hubby or even communicate with him. I am in a relationship and have much to loose where they have nothing to loose and don't care. Therefore, I block. There are a few I befriend who are respectful.
yawn....
yeah and the 10% who give all the others a bad name. Not too concerned about the others as long as they realize I have a husband and not interested in another relationship besides the one I already have.
nope just not interested
MR_DICK_C wrote:
I could be wrong but I think if they have single males blocked but still write you that you can reply you just can't initiate the emails...
Nope. If they have SM blocked, you can't respond.
Mav
UTAH-CPLE-2006 wrote:
nope just not interested
Blah, blah, blah.
Mav
ya blah blah blah its right...someone didnt click or unclick something...probably an accident in either case....
UTAH-CPLE-2006 wrote:
ya blah blah blah its right...someone didnt click or unclick something...probably an accident in either case....
An excellent point. Truly insightful and I would say perhaps the most influential bit of information introduced in this entire conversation. You really should involve yourself more in topical discussions. Your incredible and moving dissertations are an inspiration to us all.
dont think it calls for that, seems pretty simple and rather overthought on your part but do what ya gotta
Twist you had brought up a real issue here. The website masters must not allow couples who are blocking single males to select the seeking single males option on the booty call to avoid causing unnecessary confusion, grief, anger and frustration. Damn, I can't believe this issue has been overlooked for so long. This problem leaves a lot to be desired from the commander of this internet dating service. Thanks again for bringing it up Mr. Twist.
Of interest: Since I initially made this post I've been watching for booty calls seeking SM explicitly, but explicitly blocking SM from contacting. I also have a couples account for when my friend and I play together. So, using the couple account I emailed a few of these users, and informed them that they posted seeking single males, but that single males cannot contact them due to being blocked.
In 100% of the cases so far:
In one case within minutes of the booty call seeking SMs expiring, a new booty call was created except seeking only SF and CPL.
Granted this is an anecdotal handful, nonetheless I find it interesting.
Fwiw, I always overthink things. It's why I'm so successful in my profession :-)
In 100% of the cases so far:
- the email was read
- but no changes were made to unblock single males
In one case within minutes of the booty call seeking SMs expiring, a new booty call was created except seeking only SF and CPL.
Granted this is an anecdotal handful, nonetheless I find it interesting.
Fwiw, I always overthink things. It's why I'm so successful in my profession :-)
MAVENX wrote:
One thing couples need to realize is that if they block SMs, we can't e-mail them. That sounds logical but when they contact us, we have no way of replying to their e-mail. We are not ignoring them, just trapped by the system. FYI
I concur with CarrierMan's last statement as well.
Mav
when this happened, i just posted a 'comment' om their profile in place of email. It worked, they got the message and unblocked SMs temporarily so I could reply back.
Of course, now that I'm saying this, they'll probably make it so that SMs can't place comments on other people's profiles either when blocked.
Who really knows why screwballs do things.
A ideal way to solve the riddle would be to code the system to examine and override or unblock single males on the poster
A ideal way to solve the riddle would be to code the system to examine and override or unblock single males on the poster
There's a saying in the Lifestyle that pretty much sums up the general attitude toward single males.
SINGLE MALES ARE AN ACCESSORY - NOT A NECESSITY.
SINGLE MALES ARE AN ACCESSORY - NOT A NECESSITY.
What the heck? So not only they are allowing it but they are also ignoring emails about the issue. F U C K ! This is unacceptable. I'll say all single males should change their main picture to a jpeg image with the words "FUCK MY LIFE" as a sign of protest and discontent with this practice.
Yeah, and all couples should change theirs to an image that says "FUCK MY WIFE". Oh, wait...that prolly wouldn't be a good idea. So are we the only ones who've been around long enough to remember when single males were as rare in the lifestyle as unicorns (the real kind, not SF's)? I think that in many ways the fact that there are SO many single males now vying for the limited resources of those who like to play with them that their frustration is spilling over (some would argue constantly) into frustrated threads like this. Maybe ADMIN should have a new feature that people can check a box that says "Don't call us, we'll call you." instead of blocking SM's. It would be a nicer, PC way to say whether or not you want to play with SM's. And The Flying Spaghetti Monster knows we need more PC stuff in our lives. ;-)
What other requirements do you see as pertinent to the position of NOSNAR wife fucker? We defintely require opposable thumbs and the ability to string together two coherent sentences in a row (seems to weed out about 97% of applicants). Beyond that our checklist isn't too rigorous but we do draw the line at those sporting a tripod. Ms. Evil likes the dick but she doesn't like to be impaled like a suckling pig over a fire (much to the dismay of those whose sexual education consists of a steady diet of hardcore misogynistic porn...but she does like apples).
Well, we are trying to be serious and find an effective solution to this problem but seems like most people here just want to fuck each others wives. This is really sidetracking our attention to the real issue here: to make sure that single males get accurate information about and proper access to couples who wish to be with them. So let's quit thinking about sex for a moment here and let's focus on single males and their issues. Remember: teamwork is the key to success.
I'm glad SOMEONE finally brought this subject up . . .
;-)
;-)
What are these "single males" everyone is talking about? They sound intriguing. Is it legal to own one outright or is it better to lease with the option to buy? Also, how much upkeep do they require? I'm getting the sense that it could be a lot. Also are they cheaper on Amazon or is it better to check Walmart or Sears so you can see if they're fresh? TIA ;-)
TWISTYLEX wrote:
It's a common practice (and something I often even recommend) to block single males from contacting you; particularly as newbies to the swinging lifestyle. So when I see booty calls posted seeking single guys while simultaneously blocking them, I generally make one of the following assumptions:
1) Forgot to uncheck the box for single males when posting
2) Forgot that they had single males blocked
Either way, I simply accept it as "it is what it is" and go about my merry way.
A thought occurred to me today though, and found some resonance: What if the booty call is an empty gesture?
Any of us with some time participating in the lifestyle have come across couples where one or both of the members were jealous and/or possessive. A number of these relationships have been discovered to be the controlling or abusive type. A typical mechanism of abuse is the farcical demonstration of freedom to a world that wants nothing to do with you. That way you never consider leaving, because you know you'd have no where to go, or that no one would want you.
I find myself honestly wondering if this is ever the case? If it is, then how often?
What do the rest of you think?
I think you are correct man. I think the reasons couples choose not to play with singles vary. You will often see couples that allow single females, but no single males. The reasons could vary from the lady wants to experiment with other ladies to the male half of the couple is too insecure to allow his lady her fantasy. He wants his, but screw what she wants. I think insecurity is probably more common than the prior.
I also found when playing in a couple scenario, that many of the single guys were far more polite and respectful and it was the married guys that were assholes that groped and were pushy. They thought because they had a piece of meat to offer that it gave them free license to make unwanted contact etc. This subject is age old and it all boils down insecurity in the vast majority of cases. Though I think it's a waste of my time to try and focus on the question of whether or not some lady in a couple really wants some single male cock because she's too afraid to tell her husband. I focus on those that are actually asking. I do feel sorry for those ladies that are going without, but what can ya do?
SUENDAN wrote:
Well, we are trying to be serious and find an effective solution to this problem but seems like most people here just want to fuck each others wives. This is really sidetracking our attention to the real issue here: to make sure that single males get accurate information about and proper access to couples who wish to be with them. So let's quit thinking about sex for a moment here and let's focus on single males and their issues. Remember: teamwork is the key to success.
Ah another married guy that thinks his insecurity is common place. I think you're the exception and not the rule. Many couples actually seek single males. If you decide (for whatever reason) not to engage in them, that's perfectly ok, as it's your choice. How about allowing others the same liberty. My two cents.
Donniemaximus: Wow, you are 100% correct, sir! No one has figure me out so accurately ever. And you did it over the internet and with almost zero actual information about me. Bravo!
SUENDAN wrote:
Donniemaximus: Wow, you are 100% correct, sir! No one has figure me out so accurately ever. And you did it over the internet and with almost zero actual information about me. Bravo!
How's it feel to be stereotyped?? You seem to have every single male 100% figured out and over the internet tooo!!! Yay for you! Now you get the point?? At least I hope. My work is done here.
It's not very hard to extrapolate from your comments such as, "seems like most people here just want to fuck each others wives" and other such nonsensical snide crap you've been typing, that you think everyone is just as insecure/jaded as you with regard to single males. That everyone should just ignore single males. Remember "big guy" you're not the only one on the website, nor are your preferences. This is a mixed bag of nuts here. Trying to belittle or degrade one group because you feel threatened by it, only make you look desperate and insecure about your ability to hold on to what you have. You afraid your old lady's tired of your tiny dick? Not trying to offend you, but you seem very insecure... Did a single guy show you up?
DM I am humbled by your wisdom. Shit, I'm going try to be like you from now on.
SUENDAN wrote:
DM I am humbled by your wisdom. Shit, I'm going try to be like you from now on.
Oh PLEASE! I realize that you are being funny. Don't encourage him. He just doesn
I think single males are hardly necessary in the lifestyle. There is an abundance of couples (which come with a male) and then some single females. So even if a couple want to do a MMF or MMMF then they can just borrow the gentlemen from their couple-friends. I've been borrowed numerous times. When my wife is out of town I often find myself playing with known friends and If I'm not available she may find herself on a hot FFM with some other friends. So single dudes are just on the way. Also, if a man is on his 30's and has no long term partner: it must be for a reason!
It must suck to be a single male. Shit, if I for some reason I become single I'll stay away from the lifestyle until I get a willing partner. We've been to swinger clubs and males are treated as second class citizen. They are usually confined to an area and are not allowed alone in certain areas. Couples run away when they see too many of them. And I think the lifestyle in general is like that.
It must suck to be a single male. Shit, if I for some reason I become single I'll stay away from the lifestyle until I get a willing partner. We've been to swinger clubs and males are treated as second class citizen. They are usually confined to an area and are not allowed alone in certain areas. Couples run away when they see too many of them. And I think the lifestyle in general is like that.
SUENDAN wrote:
I think single males are hardly necessary in the lifestyle. ... So even if a couple want to do a MMF or MMMF then they can just borrow the gentlemen from their couple-friends. ... So single dudes are just on the way. ...
This issue is culture-centric. By your logic, the exact same could (and arguably should) be said about single females. (it should be noted that I don't agree with your logic in the slightest)
The primary reason you don't see droves and droves of single ladies is because western society abhors promiscuous women.
TWIST on the contrary I totally agree with you. The issue is driven by culture. I'll change that is not limited to Western Culture as we lived in Japan for 4 years and promiscuous women are equally (if not worst) condemned there. However, whether the issue has cultural roots or is just a massive-long term "trolling" from couples/girls to single guys, does not change anything.
Like you say in our initial post: It is what it is:
* There is no button to ignore single girls nor couples.
* There are no special rules for couples or single females who attend swinger clubs. Additionally, single males usually pay more and attendance is usually controlled.
* Even on this site, the single male issue gets worked on and fine tuned and it always raises concerns and arguments from couples/girls and buhh-huhhs from single males.
* No one fakes to be a single male.
* And many more bullets!
Don't agree with me? Change your profile to a "couples" profile and see for yourself. You may actually get a reply! If I was single I'll just go to a bar and meet a girl the old fashioned way. Or heck, I may even use E-Harmony or some other modern way. I'll stay away from the lifestyle because I would not want to be on a place where I'm not totally welcomed. I would not want to be controlled nor need a "seal of approval" bs nor be charged more.
Like you say in our initial post: It is what it is:
* There is no button to ignore single girls nor couples.
* There are no special rules for couples or single females who attend swinger clubs. Additionally, single males usually pay more and attendance is usually controlled.
* Even on this site, the single male issue gets worked on and fine tuned and it always raises concerns and arguments from couples/girls and buhh-huhhs from single males.
* No one fakes to be a single male.
* And many more bullets!
Don't agree with me? Change your profile to a "couples" profile and see for yourself. You may actually get a reply! If I was single I'll just go to a bar and meet a girl the old fashioned way. Or heck, I may even use E-Harmony or some other modern way. I'll stay away from the lifestyle because I would not want to be on a place where I'm not totally welcomed. I would not want to be controlled nor need a "seal of approval" bs nor be charged more.
Wow, that made it easy to thin the herd. Ignore is an easy button to use.
Mav
Mav
SUENDAN wrote:
TWIST on the contrary I totally agree with you. The issue is driven by culture. I'll change that is not limited to Western Culture as we lived in Japan for 4 years and promiscuous women are equally (if not worst) condemned there. However, whether the issue has cultural roots or is just a massive-long term "trolling" from couples/girls to single guys, does not change anything.
Like you say in our initial post: It is what it is:
* There is no button to ignore single girls nor couples.
* There are no special rules for couples or single females who attend swinger clubs. Additionally, single males usually pay more and attendance is usually controlled.
* Even on this site, the single male issue gets worked on and fine tuned and it always raises concerns and arguments from couples/girls and buhh-huhhs from single males.
* No one fakes to be a single male.
* And many more bullets!
Don't agree with me? Change your profile to a "couples" profile and see for yourself. You may actually get a reply! If I was single I'll just go to a bar and meet a girl the old fashioned way. Or heck, I may even use E-Harmony or some other modern way. I'll stay away from the lifestyle because I would not want to be on a place where I'm not totally welcomed. I would not want to be controlled nor need a "seal of approval" bs nor be charged more.
I didn't say any of those things in my initial post. As a matter of fact, this thread has gone entirely tangential to my original topic. The topic was whether posted booty calls asking only for single males, yet entirely blocking single males were posted with nefarious intent.
Contrary to your assumption, I've spent most of my time in the lifestyle as a couple. I still play as a couple, this is just my single account. Fact of the matter is: I've had more successful connections as a single male, and I've had a LOT more fun as a single male.
True, I've had more responses as a couple. I've met more people as a couple. Significantly less actual encounters. Turns out that chemistry behaves combinatorically. Much higher probability of one person being compatible with two than two people being compatible with two others.
Anyone on here with some computer repair expertise? My IGNORE button is broken from hitting it so hard and so frequently. It's kind of sticky too. Not sure how that happened. Anyhoo, hit me up if you know an easy hack to fix it.
Nevermind. Just reprogrammed ALL my FCN keys to be IGNORE buttons. God this is fun! :-p
Nevermind. Just reprogrammed ALL my FCN keys to be IGNORE buttons. God this is fun! :-p
TWISTYLEX wrote:
It's a common practice (and something I often even recommend) to block single males from contacting you; particularly as newbies to the swinging lifestyle. So when I see booty calls posted seeking single guys while simultaneously blocking them, I generally make one of the following assumptions:
1) Forgot to uncheck the box for single males when posting
2) Forgot that they had single males blocked
Either way, I simply accept it as "it is what it is" and go about my merry way.
A thought occurred to me today though, and found some resonance: What if the booty call is an empty gesture?
Any of us with some time participating in the lifestyle have come across couples where one or both of the members were jealous and/or possessive. A number of these relationships have been discovered to be the controlling or abusive type. A typical mechanism of abuse is the farcical demonstration of freedom to a world that wants nothing to do with you. That way you never consider leaving, because you know you'd have no where to go, or that no one would want you.
I find myself honestly wondering if this is ever the case? If it is, then how often?
What do the rest of you think?
It's hilarious. Especially when they are throwing a meet n greet / booty date whatever. You click to email them and it says couples are blocked only single females...Really? SLS is classic for that. Oh well... maybe nest time?
Yet another posting this coming weekend from a couple that is looking for a SM but blocks SM. Oh, the humanity.
Mav
Mav