http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Oral-Herpes-Hsv1-and-new-partners/show/248137
Fist off not many folks ever get tested for HSV1 or 2. IT is very expensive like 160$
2nd Some number like 80% of adults have HSV 1
3rd We love to kiss but have been tested and are negative.
4th We have met 2 women who contacted genital HSV1 from a partner. THis is supposed to be rare.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex/herpes-4271.htm
We see so many persons kissing so randomly at parties and such?
IT would be nice to find other couples who worry about this?
Fist off not many folks ever get tested for HSV1 or 2. IT is very expensive like 160$
2nd Some number like 80% of adults have HSV 1
3rd We love to kiss but have been tested and are negative.
4th We have met 2 women who contacted genital HSV1 from a partner. THis is supposed to be rare.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex/herpes-4271.htm
We see so many persons kissing so randomly at parties and such?
IT would be nice to find other couples who worry about this?
Like everything else, if you are worried about it, abstain. The only sure way to avoid it. You really can't go on the notion that someone just simply says "I don't have it" or "I'm clean". Do they really know and are you going to risk what someone tells you versus fact? Not us..
We do seem to get honest answers. I know this because 90% of the time they admit one if the couple get cold sores. So if we turn a cheek at a party don't take it wrong, it us just how careful we want to be.
This is a question i have thought about many times.
If one really believes that 80% of adults have HSV 1 and one is worried about contracting it, I would definitely abstain from kissing anybody unless one person had their face covered in saran wrap. Kissing just 3 people with an 80% exposure rate would mean one would have over a 99% chance of contracting HSV 1. How many people have we kissed including high school and all dating? We ALL must have been exposed to HSV 1 many, many times. The odds are far worse for a couple that kisses frequently as they have had many more combined exposures.
I agree with you 100% about being careful but i would guess that the average swingular member must have kissed at least one hundred people and it is statistically impossible for anyone on here not to have been exposed on multiple occasions.
I get a full battery of STD tests (including herpes) at least once a year. The cost is totally insignificant relative to the risk of me transmitting an STD to an innocent partner especially given my sexual history. I am bi-sexual and lived in New York City (including Greenwich Village) in the 1970's and 1980's and had more sexual contacts than i can count. Yet i have always gotten completely negative STD reports so some something is wrong or inconsistent with the the 80% number or (as i believe) some people are immune to HSV 1 or carry it in a completely dormant state which may be detectable or undetectable.
Let me add that my sexual behavior is now much more prudent than it was when i was younger and i have never and would never kiss anyone who appeared to have cold sores or blisters on their mouth (or anywhere else for that matter). For what it's worth (and that's not very much) i have never had a cold sore.
If one really believes that 80% of adults have HSV 1 and one is worried about contracting it, I would definitely abstain from kissing anybody unless one person had their face covered in saran wrap. Kissing just 3 people with an 80% exposure rate would mean one would have over a 99% chance of contracting HSV 1. How many people have we kissed including high school and all dating? We ALL must have been exposed to HSV 1 many, many times. The odds are far worse for a couple that kisses frequently as they have had many more combined exposures.
I agree with you 100% about being careful but i would guess that the average swingular member must have kissed at least one hundred people and it is statistically impossible for anyone on here not to have been exposed on multiple occasions.
I get a full battery of STD tests (including herpes) at least once a year. The cost is totally insignificant relative to the risk of me transmitting an STD to an innocent partner especially given my sexual history. I am bi-sexual and lived in New York City (including Greenwich Village) in the 1970's and 1980's and had more sexual contacts than i can count. Yet i have always gotten completely negative STD reports so some something is wrong or inconsistent with the the 80% number or (as i believe) some people are immune to HSV 1 or carry it in a completely dormant state which may be detectable or undetectable.
Let me add that my sexual behavior is now much more prudent than it was when i was younger and i have never and would never kiss anyone who appeared to have cold sores or blisters on their mouth (or anywhere else for that matter). For what it's worth (and that's not very much) i have never had a cold sore.
Well the 80% number is for adults.. of course kids who have not kissed yet is less. IT is fairly contagious. Enough that the experts recommend changing towels in the bathroom often if someone in the family has HSV 1. So if a couple got married without many kissing partners when they were young and have been married for 25 years the 80% does not apply. The testing reliability is a problem because of cross counts between HSV 1 & 2 or some technical thing I dont feel like quoting right now. But some positives might be negative however a negative is good new from what I have read.
As far as swingers not playing because they have a tingle in their lip. I dont see that stopping many of the folks we have met at some of these parties.
I hear it all the time life is dangerous and you could get in a car crash today.... YEs but we do what we can to prevent things and some of us more than others.
As far as swingers not playing because they have a tingle in their lip. I dont see that stopping many of the folks we have met at some of these parties.
I hear it all the time life is dangerous and you could get in a car crash today.... YEs but we do what we can to prevent things and some of us more than others.
Of course there are many risks in life. Some of us try to maximize fun and reduce risks. No play is an option of course. Not as much fun and most importantly not related to the title or description of this thread!
So far no one has said if they kiss without asking or if they ask at all. Since we can assume 80%+ of folks on this site have oral herpes then maybe only 20% care much at all.
So far no one has said if they kiss without asking or if they ask at all. Since we can assume 80%+ of folks on this site have oral herpes then maybe only 20% care much at all.
Wow, so much to say on this topic. I am a nurse and did many reports on std's in school. First, yes hsv1 is very common; but there isn't much risk if there isn't a current cold sore. Personally, I don't kiss anyone if they look like they have a cold sore and hope that they would be honest enough to say "not tonight". Transmitting hsv1 to the genitals is rare, but it does happen and I would never risk giving or receiving oral if that person had a visible cold sore. Hsv2 is the primary genital virus, but that can be transmitted to the mouth as well. It is important to note that even without an exacerbation of the virus, it can still be transmitted to others. Worst, condoms are not very effective against herpes because it may not cover all sorrs. What concerns me the most are the other diseases out there. It is for this reason that, out of 7 years of being members, we only just began to swap. It is scary that 25% of the population with HIV don't know they have it and that u can still test negative for it yet actually have and transmit the virus during the window period (typically 3 month window period but it can be as long as 2 years). HIV can also be transmitted through oral sex. Hpv is also one making the news a lot lately. Messed up thing is, the vaccination against it has only approved for 14-26 years old because the FDA concluded that by the time someone is 26 they have already been exposed to the virus and either have it or have developed an immunity to it. Anyway, be safe, use condoms, and regularly get tested.
We have actually warned a few newbie couples of how easy it is to get this and a couple of them ended up getting it!
Also found this somewhat related news of interest today...
6/6/2012 7:50 PM ET
(RTTNews) - An Oregon woman has been awarded $900,000 by a jury this week following claims that she was infected with genital herpes by a lover. The woman filed the suit under a pseudonym and sued the man, a 69-year-old dentist, claiming that he did not reveal his condition before they had sex.
Though lawsuits stemming from sexually transmitted diseases are common, it's rare they ever make it to trial. According to an area television news channel, the man was well aware of his herpes but did not think he was contagious because he was not experiencing an outbreak at the time.
The woman did, in fact, contract the disease and says that she lost her job because of painful outbreaks and later spiraled into depression.
"It made her feel like she needed to isolate herself from society, and she became a recluse," said the unnamed plaintiff's lawyer. "She was interested in finding a husband but pretty much dropped efforts in that direction because of the herpes."
http://www.rttnews.com/1901627/woman-successfully-sues-lover-for-giving-her-herpes.aspx?type=hnr&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=sitemap
Also found this somewhat related news of interest today...
6/6/2012 7:50 PM ET
(RTTNews) - An Oregon woman has been awarded $900,000 by a jury this week following claims that she was infected with genital herpes by a lover. The woman filed the suit under a pseudonym and sued the man, a 69-year-old dentist, claiming that he did not reveal his condition before they had sex.
Though lawsuits stemming from sexually transmitted diseases are common, it's rare they ever make it to trial. According to an area television news channel, the man was well aware of his herpes but did not think he was contagious because he was not experiencing an outbreak at the time.
The woman did, in fact, contract the disease and says that she lost her job because of painful outbreaks and later spiraled into depression.
"It made her feel like she needed to isolate herself from society, and she became a recluse," said the unnamed plaintiff's lawyer. "She was interested in finding a husband but pretty much dropped efforts in that direction because of the herpes."
http://www.rttnews.com/1901627/woman-successfully-sues-lover-for-giving-her-herpes.aspx?type=hnr&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=sitemap
Maybemor has repeatedly posted about STDs, and there's no denying that there is a risk. I just wonder what is your motivation and goal?
No, we don't ask. Obviously we give then a once over, and if there's a raging sore on their face that gives them that zombie-like look, we pass. Other than that we will.
LOVING_NAKED wrote:
We have been in the lifestyle for 15 plus years and have been missed by over 489 billion lightning strikes!!! A world record!!!!! Oh shit this is about kissing.....We have a policy that has been in place since we started this lifestyle of testing once a month for (us it is not 160 it is 45 in Florida) same test used nationwide. We just like anyone in the lifestyle are taking a risk mitigating that risk is possible, be creative It is that plain and simple. One idea may be for you two: go find three couples have them tested and kiss and fuck only them, problem solved!!!! We have a group of 42 and have been together for years nothing butt fun and excitement and not a single couple has contracted an STD, but we ALL do not do singles period. Nothing personal but it has proven to be fool proof for us. Why worry go get laid!
This sounds like a really nice group you have going!! I dont think most couples including us get tested once a month... I think most couples dont even get tested before they begin this! I would like to know where you can get DNA testing for HSV 1 & 2 for 45$ Perhaps you are talking about the basic testing that usually only includes, HIV, CLAM, Gonorrhea? That is what Planned PH does here locally in Utah for about 45$ depending on what income you state on your application.
How do you handle it when one of your 42 returns from a trip to say HEDO?? DO you make them wait a month or so and get retested before rejoining the group?
Yes I do think about this topic and post some questions from time to time. To me it seems like this sort of topic is as relative as if you prefer natural or fake breasts IMHO. My motivation is simple, to remain STD free. If it bothers you to read this perhaps that indicates you might be lacking in your precautions. Sticking your head in the sand won't change anything. Anyone who discourages intelligent conversations worry me.. This is not China!
I know you're very sensitive, but looking for guarantees is not practical. In normal relationships, do people ask for test results and quarantine before a first kiss?
And as we've discussed, without quarantine the test results are only a snapshot of the existence of disease at a moment in time. They don't say anything about latent germs or about what has happened since the test. It always comes down to trust, to an extent, and to using protection.
You make it sound like there is a foolproof method here. But there isn't.
No one is saying you don't have a right to discuss anything. I know you are decent people, but when you write that people with other opinions are not intelligent, or are Communists, it comes across weird.
And as we've discussed, without quarantine the test results are only a snapshot of the existence of disease at a moment in time. They don't say anything about latent germs or about what has happened since the test. It always comes down to trust, to an extent, and to using protection.
You make it sound like there is a foolproof method here. But there isn't.
No one is saying you don't have a right to discuss anything. I know you are decent people, but when you write that people with other opinions are not intelligent, or are Communists, it comes across weird.
I just saw my pcp and got tested for everything. Don't know how much it was, but he said insurance covers it