Swingers Forum - Nervous...Suggestions...Advice

Okay so here is the deal. My guy has this fantasy of watching me with a black man. Wants to see me pleasured ect, and finds the thought very alluring. I have no issues with the fantasy, in all honesty it turns me on. But the thing is that since we discovered the "Lifestyle" I have brought in a female and the couples that we have met either things didn't click, or things just fell through. So I have yet to be with anyone aside from him of course and this female in this relationship. Now back in the day i wouldn't have thought twice. I was in the lifestyle and didn't even know haha.

Im nervous because with being "center stage" Im not sure if I could follow through with it. I just feel that it would be awkward and I would be worried what he was thinking. He doesn't have a jealous bone in his body and I really think he would enjoy it, as I think I would if I could get past that...
We have a great line of communication, he knows my issue. I just thought that I would ask here.
Thanks.

My husband wants to watch a men pleasure me as well, and like you I started asking people who have been there done that. I was told by multiple ladies the biggest thing is being sexually comfortable with the other man. They recommending sexting, flirting, even playing alone to get comfortable with him. I know not all women can or will do it but maybe that advice will help you.

Experience and observation have proven to me (he) that the majority of people who are self conscious about either being the center of attention, or just being watched, quickly get over it. Male OR female. Once the games begin, and the nervous participant gets caught up in what's going on, they start to realize how much having an audience (even if it's only one person) REALLY adds to the eroticism of it all.
There are exceptions, of course, but I haven't seen many of them.

The voyeur in all of us loves to watch.
The 'naughty' in all of us loves to BE watched.

LOVEHERMADLY2 wrote:

We have seen single males do the most sexually irresponsible things at house parties.......no thanks!

How judgmental you are I thought we were open minded people? LOL Like you've never seen a couple or a Single Female or Married Man act irresponsible sexually ? ! Come on now, don't start the SM bashing again please, thank you kindly ! =)

[quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]We have done mfm, fmf, mfmf, mfmfmf, ff etc., and that includes some interracial interludes that can be described as your fantasy. To begin with studies regarding the human genome prove that the concept of race really does not exist as we used to define it. People are people and people whose ancestors lived in a specific region, due to natural selection, tend to favor certain physical attributes that favored survival in that region, nothing more nothing less. The whole of the human race is not all that diverse genetically compared to most other surviving species. With that said we are talking about contrast. Difference in appearance is fun. Watching ones light skinned wife having orgasms with her legs wrapped around a darker skinned man balls deep inside her is pretty damned erotic. The reverse can be said for lighter men with darker women. Variety rocks!! Of course it is great fun for the wife as well. People of all

we did this with 2 single males from this site. we invited them to tear me up while my man recorded all of it. I was a little nervous, but I was able to relax when I saw the two guys were equally nervous. my boyfriend watched and recorded for a while, then ended up joining us in the end. it was great fun!

[quote=NEWBIES2650][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]We have done mfm, fmf, mfmf, mfmfmf, ff etc., and that includes some interracial interludes that can be described as your fantasy. To begin with studies regarding the human genome prove that the concept of race really does not exist as we used to define it. People are people and people whose ancestors lived in a specific region, due to natural selection, tend to favor certain physical attributes that favored survival in that region, nothing more nothing less. The whole of the human race is not all that diverse genetically compared to most other surviving species. With that said we are talking about contrast. Difference in appearance is fun. Watching ones light skinned wife having orgasms with her legs wrapped around a darker skinned man balls deep inside her is pretty damned erotic. The reverse can be said for lighter men with darker women. Variety rocks!! Of course it is great fun for the wife as well. People of all

LOVEHERMADLY2 wrote:

We have seen single males do the most sexually irresponsible things at house parties.......no thanks!

Wow! I guess I must have just been out of my mind having a great time the last party I was to. Because I can't remember doing any of those similar things. Jeesh! I am glad you told me the time I must have had. I simply would not have known what a good time it was! Can someone show me and give me a copy of the pictures if any where taken? Cause I don't think my friends will believe it when I tell them.

Maybe I should find a mate to help me remember. Oh what, that wouldn't work, because when you find a mate you all of a sudden become a butterfly instead of a nasty crawling slug type thing.

Did someone say gushing? *ears perk up*

DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:

Well after three e-mail conversations this morning I decided to make a comment or two.

There is nothing wrong with being a single guy but as we all already know if you put yes or maybe in the drop down box in the preference section of the site for single men, more often than not, you get friend request several times a day from single males. We totally understand the dynamics of why that happens and we fault no one for it, including the single males that send the request, but it does make it difficult to distinguish the difference between those that are sincerely just interested in us and those that are just playing the law of large numbers and sending lots of request to lots of profiles. Even if all single males were perfect gentleman, and a guaranteed good time there just would not be enough time to pursue the opportunities. Single male hook ups are not the priority for a lot of couples. That includes the two of us. That is in our profile and we understand that our profile is so long that it may be too much to ask some to read or remember what they read when they do. ADHD, which can make reading difficult, is more prevalent in men anyway. Single men out there, you should know, that we married men recognize that we are men and subject to the same strengths and weaknesses associated with maleness. We also recognize that there are a few really bad eggs that make swing life more difficult for you. You should know those same guys contact everyone.

We think that the site allows couples to check a preference box no or even block single males because it helps couples that choose to do so to stay on target with why they are in the lifestyle. It is not because the administrators think single males are the bane of swing existence. Those options are in no way a negative commentary on single males wanting to swing or on singles males in general as if they were a separate species.

When someone like NEWBIES2650 expresses a semi public, sincere desire to meet with a single man you can bet that all the bad eggs will throw their hats into the ring, and being bad eggs and usually unaware they stink, they will start making demands and display their true colors. Bad egg single women and couples do the same thing. It may be an irritation especially if it goes so far that you take the time to meet with them but as Carl Jung said; "Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, it is at least an increase in knowledge if he knows what it is not." Such is the stuff of life, love and the lifestyle.

I was not meaning that all would be cocky ect. I was merely making a reply. I know that there are a number of single men that are worthwhile and very respectful. I have met many. They just dont fall into what the hubby is looking for with this fantasy. Well yet anyhow lol. So If I have made it seem in any manner that I am dissing single men Im not. There are "douches" in anytype. Singles or couples. Its just a selection process.

Yes We Are. LOL