My boyfriend and i are new to this site. He wants a fmf threesome. I have spent more time on the site than he has. There are things that I would really like to try but I dont know how to talk to him about it. When I bring it up he changes the subject or acts really uncomfortable. I think we could have a lot of fun. I could really use some advice on how to explain myself without maiking it seem like he isnt enough. I also feel a little hurt cause I am willing to put myself out there, but it seems like he isnt. Am I being unfair?
How's this work for ya?
Give him the fmf he wants - NO strings, NO discussions beyond that.
It should open the door for further discussion, as well as "well we did it for you - what about me"?
In a LOT of cases, all it takes is that "initial" experience to get folks (M & F) to take the next step.
It's obviously a bigger step for him than it is for you.
So you need to try orchestrating it until he's OK with picking up his instrument to start playing.
But be prepared: the fmf may be just a fantasy, and once fullfilled, he'll live the rest of his life as Joe Vanilla.
Give him the fmf he wants - NO strings, NO discussions beyond that.
It should open the door for further discussion, as well as "well we did it for you - what about me"?
In a LOT of cases, all it takes is that "initial" experience to get folks (M & F) to take the next step.
It's obviously a bigger step for him than it is for you.
So you need to try orchestrating it until he's OK with picking up his instrument to start playing.
But be prepared: the fmf may be just a fantasy, and once fullfilled, he'll live the rest of his life as Joe Vanilla.
That is a great idea. actually and your right i have to prepared for that cause it is a possibility. and to be honest i was like that until my first fmf so it makes sense he may be the same way
A lot of guys are initially very insecure about seeing their woman with another man. Its normal, and not everyone is cut out for this lifestyle. A lot of people experiment, then leave. But a lot of people decide they like it and have some of the best fun of their lives. We've made some awesome friends and hope to make more. Good luck to you.
Remember that this lifestyle is a couples sport. It is as much about attitude as any you will find. That means you both have to be into it. Give Carrierman
This lifestyle is as much about open, honest communication with your partner as it is about sex. If you can't talk to him about what YOU want, feel and desire then you won't be able to talk about the other things that go along with swinging. This is not a lifestyle for jealous people or ones who need control. This is about opening up your mind and allowing your partner to rejoice in pleasure - even if it's not you giving it to him/her. (Oh, and it's also about mind-blowingly amazing sex!!!)
Give Monkey credit. He's forward, but very true. Never "take one for the team"! True, it could open doors to more...but the more likely scenario is the harboring of resentment and hurt feelings. Your relationship has to be the strongest to even think about being in this lifestyle and be able to handle it. Hope you have as much fun as we have had if you get into it. GandH
Get a couple! Playing with singles can get complicated at times. We play with girls on occasion because my wife is bi. We would not play with a straight girl because there is nothing for her there. We would not play with single male (bi,gay or str8) because there is nothing for me there!
In general more guys are insecure about seeing their girl with another dude than the other way around. It's totally a double standard and beyond our comprehension but some guys are just like that. It's your call but be prepared for the very real possibility that he wants his but you ain't gettin' yours. Nobody really knows exactly how they will react the first time they are in a swinging situation. Quite honestly some people just fucking flip out. The fact that "he changes the subject or acts really uncomfortable" when you try to talk about it ISN'T a good sign. You may ultimately have to decide between your boyfirend and swinging. Swinging isn't for everyone.
don't do a thing until you are both positive that you really want to,it's a bell you can't unring.
DON'T DO IT!!! If all you to can talk about is being with another girl then this probably isn't for you. Not meaning thatg it isn't ok for that to be the only thing your interested in, but you obviously have other interests. In my opinion if you can't even bring up a related topic without fear of damaging his self esteem or simply twerkin him off you really shouldn't do this. If he already seems to be uncomfortable with the idea of another man pleasuring you he may be resentful after a woman does. Imagine havin a good ol time him gettin what he wants then griping that she made you get off. Not to mention we have never even found a unicorn and know it isn't very easy. Me and my wife started out just looking for other women but it was a preference neither of us was interested inanother couple. She wanted to try a chick and I thought a 3some would be awesome (what guy wouldn't) we talked about it a lot and decided to go for it. Once we started lookin around and had no luck and realized couples where more available we were like fuck it why don't we just try that ( neither of us are insecure or really all that jealous). In the end we had some fun we are still more interested in just girls but if it never happens it doesn't happen.
Personally... this may sound harsh but, sex is a VERY important part of any relationship! If you are turned on by swinging and want to explore your fantasies but your boyfriend is only interested in other women (ie: HIS fantasies). Then my advice is find a new boyfriend that has the same sexual interests as you. Your fantasies and desires are not going to go away. Break it off now before you are married. Sexual compatability is crucial to happiness in any relationship. just my opinion.
I (he) have been in similar situations.
At a party/club/gathering, a woman and I will be having a conversation, and getting along VERY well, and the time comes to address the subject.
I ask/suggest only to be told I would need to ask her husband (who by the way is off banging someone he didn't have to have HER permission to bang) first.
OK, so if she had no interest, she could have just said NO.
But instead, she needed hubby's permission to proceed.
Mostly, the results have been favorable.
Hubby returns with a smile on his face, we chat briefly, and he OKs it for his wife and I to go play.
I always found that once the subject was broached, and it was obvious she was OK with us playing, the conversation/small talk got a little awkward while waiting for hubby and his stamp of approval to show up.
There were also times when, even though the lady showed definite interest in us playing, hubby rejected me, and that was the end of it.
And yet there was no evidence it was a dom/sub relationship.
At a party/club/gathering, a woman and I will be having a conversation, and getting along VERY well, and the time comes to address the subject.
I ask/suggest only to be told I would need to ask her husband (who by the way is off banging someone he didn't have to have HER permission to bang) first.
OK, so if she had no interest, she could have just said NO.
But instead, she needed hubby's permission to proceed.
Mostly, the results have been favorable.
Hubby returns with a smile on his face, we chat briefly, and he OKs it for his wife and I to go play.
I always found that once the subject was broached, and it was obvious she was OK with us playing, the conversation/small talk got a little awkward while waiting for hubby and his stamp of approval to show up.
There were also times when, even though the lady showed definite interest in us playing, hubby rejected me, and that was the end of it.
And yet there was no evidence it was a dom/sub relationship.