What would you do or say if your family or non swinging friends found out that you swing???
What do you think there reaction would be?
and what would yours be?
Donna & Brian
What do you think there reaction would be?
and what would yours be?
Donna & Brian
Mrs. Caress4u's dad knows (her mom and dad are divorced and she hasn't seen her mom in almost fourteen years - long story). We're pretty sure my dad knows. Neither of them care. We have a number of vanilla friends that know, but not all. Some would freak-out and disown us as friends.
Mr. Caress4u
Mr. Caress4u
If friends find out hopefully the result will be that they take the time to be honest with themselves, because I'm sure they have thought about doing the same on occasion. Family is another story that would make holidays very awkward.
Our son (24) found out and has disowened us......and hasnt spoke to us in over a year....we think our daughter (26) knows or aleast thinks something is going on....but just leaves it alone......would we do it again...the answer is yes.......we love our son but also the the lifestyle and there grown and this is something we enjoy.......and hopely one day he will see its not hurting no one....but he is the one losing out......
The very same "vanilla" people that consider swinging to be a "taboo" activity indulge in all kinds of kinky sexual behaviors behind closed doors. (Cross dressing, S&M, bondage, role playing, same sex relationships, etc.)
People that we have known have discovered that we swing in the past, and we have handled it the same way we told our kids that Santa Clause wasnt real. The difference being that they are adults, and far more capable of handling such a complex idea. Or should be. If they demonstrate to us that they have the ability to handle the information we give them (allbeit in small doses) then we are more than happy to answer their questions and entertain their conversations. If they act judgemental in any way, or attempt to lecture us we simply end the conversation and inform them that we feel that they are not going to understand, so we are moving on. At that point it is up to them to decide how they wish to conduct our friendship. If they do not wish to be friends with us because we swing, we can not change their mind.
Coincidentally, most of ouur friends are lifestylers. We are a much more open minded group of accepting people to be around, whether there is "play" or not. Most of the friends that we have let in on our little secret are also now lifestylers. Go figure.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
People that we have known have discovered that we swing in the past, and we have handled it the same way we told our kids that Santa Clause wasnt real. The difference being that they are adults, and far more capable of handling such a complex idea. Or should be. If they demonstrate to us that they have the ability to handle the information we give them (allbeit in small doses) then we are more than happy to answer their questions and entertain their conversations. If they act judgemental in any way, or attempt to lecture us we simply end the conversation and inform them that we feel that they are not going to understand, so we are moving on. At that point it is up to them to decide how they wish to conduct our friendship. If they do not wish to be friends with us because we swing, we can not change their mind.
Coincidentally, most of ouur friends are lifestylers. We are a much more open minded group of accepting people to be around, whether there is "play" or not. Most of the friends that we have let in on our little secret are also now lifestylers. Go figure.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
Yes, I grew up on the lifestyle, I always knew about my parents, but I have deep respect fpr thei choice, their job as parents was well done and like anyone they deserve to have fun.
They even helped me whne I decided to join the lifestyle too...long story, lol
They even helped me whne I decided to join the lifestyle too...long story, lol
well we think what we do in our life,s is our busness and if they fine out oh well they can except it or not its up to them . our son knows and he thinks it cool and have a sister thats in the lifestyle so as far as my family goes there ok with it as well
Now that you've brought it up.....I really wonder what they might think or do.. Once my eldest daughter made some comment about sex and I had said that our sex life was great. Her responce was "that's more than I want to know". She's in her 30's. My son wouldn't care, I believe... One of my daughters might say "Cool" and the last daughter is in her early 30's would probably faint dead away. The Ex (30 yrs back) would probably tell me to grow up. My brother who is 15 months younger is a right wing political nut that thinks the bible is infallable and fills his sundays and Wed nights with songs and church. He would be utterly shocked that I had become a pervert and had corrupted my wife... I would promptly be warned of my eternal damnation....So what the heck.... to the family who is appalled.....get over it and don't judge until you've walked a mile in my mocasans. Then you'll also be in the lifestyle.....except my one daughter who told me that was more than she wanted to know.... She is now a lesbian.... after 8 or 9 years of marriage....No alternative lifestyle there....LOL
Well actually we havent kept it from our friends. The people that we only see from time to time, that is a different story. Our friends if they are freinds should know that we are honset with them about every thing and they should have no problems with our personal choises taht have no effect on them. Funny thing is they truly don't care and in fact most over time and either tried swinging or are still active. Even the most recent to join the ranks and said in the past, " I could never do that, it is just SOOOO wrong. I could never share my husband with another woman or my body even with you my best friend. THIS IS THE MALE HALF HERE AGAIN. Well I never expected that she should. However I did expect that she should accept our choises and understand that we weren't tring to get them into the sack. I also expected that they trust us not too impose ourl ifestyle on them in any way. Trust is the biggest issus in this lifestyle, between spouses and it should be jsut as important between your freinds. Then again we choose our friends wisely, and true foul weather friends are hard to come by.
Well the table has turned and wow what a change. We are all still best freinds and now there is more openess between us all and they have realized the freedom that I speak so much about.
I aint saying that you should or shouldn't tell your friends but a true friend will be there for you no matter what. We have many many freinds about half are in the lifestyle and some of those we have never even played with. From my perspective if you have something to hide, hide it. Swinging ain't illegel, just controversial ( I can't spell for crap in case no one noticed) If you hide it from your closest freinds and they then find out, dont' they have the right too ask you why your ashamed of it ( you must be becasue you hid it from them.) Then it must be wrong too. Or you would not have kept it from them. Then they have the right to be shocked and hurt by your choices, because they just found out they really don't know you. Then they must wonder are you really their friend, and what else don't they know about you and their relationship.
Off my soap box for a bit.
This is just how it works for us, and yes keeping things secert for our playmates is top on our list as well. DECRETION DISCRETION DICRETION.
Sterling
Well the table has turned and wow what a change. We are all still best freinds and now there is more openess between us all and they have realized the freedom that I speak so much about.
I aint saying that you should or shouldn't tell your friends but a true friend will be there for you no matter what. We have many many freinds about half are in the lifestyle and some of those we have never even played with. From my perspective if you have something to hide, hide it. Swinging ain't illegel, just controversial ( I can't spell for crap in case no one noticed) If you hide it from your closest freinds and they then find out, dont' they have the right too ask you why your ashamed of it ( you must be becasue you hid it from them.) Then it must be wrong too. Or you would not have kept it from them. Then they have the right to be shocked and hurt by your choices, because they just found out they really don't know you. Then they must wonder are you really their friend, and what else don't they know about you and their relationship.
Off my soap box for a bit.
This is just how it works for us, and yes keeping things secert for our playmates is top on our list as well. DECRETION DISCRETION DICRETION.
Sterling
My son has known since he was about 12.His reaction was "oh,ok!" Then he went backto watching t.v.At the time,his stepdad and I were getting ready to go to a party. My best friend and sister-in-law both know. Their reaction was "Just be careful." I can't prove it,but I have seen pics online in the lifestyle that look like my daughter. She is 20,she can do what she wants,as long as she's careful. The rest of my family and my husband's family don't know. They would probably freak on me. Of course,they could also surprise us,but I'm not taking that chance.
A lot of my friends know. And as for my family, if they ever find out, it can't be any worse than when they found out that I like girls and/or found out I work as a stripper.
married here over 20 yrs and lifestyle 3...we finally told our told son 20, and daughter 19 about our lifestyle..felt it was better to hear it from us...They both took it great...now they ask how are we doing in lifestyle...LOL..Lynn&John
I guess we would inform them that it is something we do and is not any of their business and they can get over it. :-) In the mean time we will work to keep them from knowing. :-)
In UT it has some different connotations because of the predominant religion here. Although a few of the people we have met are still practicing, it is definately frowned upon and the majority have parents or family that are still card carrying (*UT JOKE) members.
So, that the big risk of being found out, but they way we look at it, if my family came to me and said "so and so said that you were swingers...." my response would be "my sex life is private, just like yours, and if you want to tell me how your wife likes it and give me all the sordid details of your sex life, then I can answer your question, if not, we both can go on our merry way and not delve into each others sex lives, where it is none of our business anyhow!"
So, that the big risk of being found out, but they way we look at it, if my family came to me and said "so and so said that you were swingers...." my response would be "my sex life is private, just like yours, and if you want to tell me how your wife likes it and give me all the sordid details of your sex life, then I can answer your question, if not, we both can go on our merry way and not delve into each others sex lives, where it is none of our business anyhow!"
Her mother knows and is totally cool with it, in fact she is usually the one to babysit for us, all she said was to be careful since problems can arise. His parents dont know as they are "card carrying" people so it would not go over well at all.
Most of our friends are swingers and people we have met from this site, but the ones that arent are fine with it - one day we will convert them lol.
Most of our friends are swingers and people we have met from this site, but the ones that arent are fine with it - one day we will convert them lol.
First off, GREAT QUESTION!! It's kinda like those "What If..." comic book tittles you see now and again about your favorite super hero if they didn't turn out the way they did kinda thing. In this case it's about swinging and what if (insert relative or friend here) found out we were swingers?
We live in duel worlds--church and mainstream--where if folks who know of our faith found out about us would certainly shun us out or pray us to Jesus. Our relatives would freak I can imagine because we are "certainly out of line" for getting involved in this lifestyle.
Funny, I bet secretly many of them wished they could be this open about sexuality and free to let their hair down and be able to talk and participate with other adults in this way.
Ed and Brenda
We live in duel worlds--church and mainstream--where if folks who know of our faith found out about us would certainly shun us out or pray us to Jesus. Our relatives would freak I can imagine because we are "certainly out of line" for getting involved in this lifestyle.
Funny, I bet secretly many of them wished they could be this open about sexuality and free to let their hair down and be able to talk and participate with other adults in this way.
Ed and Brenda